Ghosts and Our Shells
by The Author's Mighty Pen
Summary: As a child, Anna Smith survived a year in the Yorkshire Moors all on her own. At least that's what people said. She claimed she was abducted in the dead of night and held hostage on an island. No one believed her. Until someone came for her again. Until John Bates appeared. Until she realized it was all real.
1. Prologue: Jumping at Shadows

No one believed my story.

It wasn't difficult to understand why. I lived it and I hardly believed it myself. How does one explain what they did to run away when they're convinced they never ran away?

That was what everyone asked. "How'd you run away?" Or even from my weeping parents, who then walked eggshells around me as if I might disappear at the slightest cross word, "Why would I run away?"

But I never ran away. I never wanted to run away. I was abducted.

All the reports claimed that was impossible. The police found no forced entry. The locks stayed as they had been when my father checked them. According to my mother he agonized over it until I returned. With such evidence what could have happened but that I escaped on my own?

I gave up then. I decided to stop trying to explain the shadow that crossed into my room, slipping through the crack in the door. I could not explain it myself. No more than I could explain the sensation of being flown away from my home. No one would believe it.

No one did believe it.

I settled on the story they forced on me. That I was an unruly, feral child that lost all those feelings after surviving on the Moors on my own. Not that I could've done that. Survivalist though I am, I would've died there. It was the dead of winter and I left in nothing but a nightgown and returned in the same state.

But people believed a young girl could do that. I was famous for it. They wrote articles about me, someone wrote a book, and eventually I passed from reality to myth. Those who met me in shops or ballrooms would interrogate me for details they'd been denied by the media.

No one cared that I couldn't sleep at night. That I jumped at the slightest of noises for a year. That I would lie awake for hours staring at the window just waiting for it to open of its own accord. That I trained myself in self-defense with hand and gun in case whatever took me the first time dared return.

We moved from our home in Whitby, my parents believing that a change in location would better my demeanor and the outlook of our neighbors on us, but it only served to make us faceless in London. They sent me to school there and finally I could vanish in the city with a million other faces that looked about like mine. There I dared to start feeling safe.

What a fool I was.


	2. Ruined Childhood

She sighed, twisting her hands in her lap as the man sat across from her, putting his pencil to pad. "I'm very grateful you allowed this interview Ms. Smith."

"I didn't think I had much of a choice, Mr. Gregson." Ms. Smith smiled back at him, "Your newspaper offered me a significant advance for my own stories and this was the price."

"But still, you could've sold your story anywhere."

"Most papers already heard it ten years ago, they're not curious about it anymore." She shrugged, "I don't think there's much to be said now that wasn't said then."

"But you've changed since then." Mr. Gregson used his hands to gesticulate a bit as he spoke, his voice had an easy tone it and a matching smile that was not only designed to put people at ease but succeeded in it. "I'm looking to write about the Anna Smith you are now, not the Anna Smith you were then."

"Oh?" Anna blinked, "I guess I didn't think about it in those terms."

"Not many people do." Gregson jotted something down. "It's why I think there's a chance here for you and I."

Anna paused, "I… I have to ask a question of you, Mr. Gregson."

"Before we switch roles you mean?" Gregson looked up from his pad, setting it to the side to give Anna his full attention.

"Why did you accept my stories?"

Gregson laughed, "I'm sure you think I only used it as a lure to draw you into this interview."

"Would I be wrong to think so?"

"It's a testament to your shrewd nature, Ms. Smith, that you've not fallen prey to your own press and that you're suspicious of what reporters might say about you." Gregson narrowed his eyes, "I think we can both be sure that you're not the girl they painted about in those stories."

"I'm glad you noticed." Anna sighed, "So many people meet me and expect that I'll bare my teeth at them or turn feral before their eyes because they were raised on those illustrated stories about how I ran away to live like a wolf or something."

"Not what you did?"

"No," Anna shook her head. "But the details of what happened are… difficult, even for me, and I don't think the public would believe what I told them anyway."

"In this case it's not about what the public believes and I don't think they can believe anything unless we tell them what that is." Gregson prepared his pencil again, "Are there anymore questions for me so should we switch to me asking you questions?"

"I think you've satisfied what little curiosity I've left about the world." Anna adjusted in her chair, "But you didn't actually answer why you accepted my stories."

"You're right." Gregson smiled more broadly, "I looked at them because of your name. I read them because of your reputation. I decided I'd publish them because you've got skill, Ms. Smith."

"Not to help further the interests of your paper?"

"I don't believe in publishing anything that's not good in my paper, not matter what name is attached to it." Gregson shook his head, "I don't believe in doing something just to make myself appear important. If people read my publication it'll be because the quality is what they want, not the splash."

"Then I think I submitted my stories to the right publisher and I accepted an interview with the right reporter."

"I'll be honest, I haven't actually done an interview in quite some time." Gregson laughed, "So I may be a bit rusty at all this."

"I'm rusty at it too." Anna crossed her ankles, "We'll both just try to do our best then won't we Mr. Gregson?"

"Yes we will." Gregson cleared his throat, "When you were young you claim you were kidnapped from your home."

"I don't know if there's a question in there."

"The question is," Gregson grew serious, "Why did the reporters at the time claim you ran away?"

Anna managed a half laugh, "There wasn't any evidence but my word and when the police called me delusional and confused, as well as suffering from nerves and other flights of fancy they claim are the expectations of my sex, no one believed me."

"Must've been quite the trial."

"It wasn't any worse than the whispers that I was upset or troubled and ran into the forest because I was a wicked child." Anna shrugged. "I grew used to children wanting to be me and adults hoping they were never cursed with so ungrateful and feral a beast as I was supposed to be."

"Then how do you explain the locks on the doors?"

Anna paused, "I don't know if you believe in demons or evil spirits, Mr. Gregson, but I know whatever took me could claim possession by one such creature."

Gregson frowned, "I'm not sure I understand the implication of that."

"When I was younger I didn't have the words to describe what took me. It appeared as a shadow at my window and worked the lock free. It entered my room and literally snatched me from my bed. As an adult I believe that I forced myself to forget much of whatever happened to me in that year, like the details of the face of whatever took me, but I can say that I never forgot the feeling it gave me."

"Like it was a spirit or a demon?"

Anna nodded, "Do you remember the rumors about the Ripper killings?"

"I reported a few of them before I worked this magazine." Gregson stopped, "Are you saying that a man took you?"

"I honestly don't know." Anna shrugged, "There are those who study the mind who suggested that my conscious mind could not handle the stress of whatever happened and buried it in my memory but I've never put much stock by those who wanted to bring it forward."

"Would you want to bring those memories forward?"

Anna shook her head violently, "It's more than enough for me to know that I was kidnapped by something evil and that I escaped."

"I remember reading they found you, bloodied and muddied, on the moors."

"Do you also remember how they said I wore the same nightgown?"

"I only remember they referred to the bedclothes."

"Yes, because however I got away involved an escape." Anna shook her head, "If I had been a feral child living alone on the moors then why did I seem less able to handle myself when they found me than when I left?"

Gregson made a face, "I don't know."

"Because I wasn't on the moors for a year and I wasn't caring for myself, that much I know." Anna took a breath, "I don't know how interested your readers will be in the ugly truth that what I am is just a girl who ran away from her kidnappers and managed to get back home."

"Ms. Smith," Gregson set down his pad, "From your tone I get the distinct impression you think less of yourself for not being the image they built for you."

"I surrendered to the weight of a false narrative, Mr. Gregson. There's shame to be had for nothing standing strong in my convictions."

"But not any for your survival." Gregson assured her. "You're a survivor, Ms. Smith, and that's the person I want for this interview."

Anna met his gaze and nodded, her confidence rising at the sincerity in his eyes. "I can give you her."

"Then," Gregson took up his pad again, "Tell me what you did after they stopped bothering you for interviews all the time."

The interview went well after that, Anna speaking freely until their time ran out. Gregson, apologizing furiously for taking her whole afternoon, bustled her out the door on the way to his own dinner appointment. Anna assured him all was well and then made her way in the opposite direction.

As she went for one of the buses a hand grabbed her arm. Anna turned with the grab, her other hand coming up to punch forward with a closed fist. A hand caught hers and the owner tried to laugh at it.

"Dangerous if you do that to people not expecting it."

"More dangerous if you keep insisting on us meeting in these kinds of circumstances."

"It makes sure I know you're not being followed so I get you all to myself." The man dropped her hand and nodded toward the road. "I do have you all to myself yes? I'm not interrupting whatever plans you've got for yourself Ms. Smith."

"On the contrary Mr. Talbot," Anna smiled at him, "I find myself free from all evening engagements."

"I heard you were on the cusp of reporting a more permanent engagement." Talbot pointed toward the street again and they walked toward, he aiming their steps toward the park. "Am I right in that?"

"As right as you are in all the information you gather." Anna took a breath, "Sometimes it makes me wonder what you need from me."

"There are benefits, Ms. Smith, to being invisible in society." Talbot winked at her. "How did your interview with Mr. Gregson go?"

"He was very cordial and more open minded than I'd willed myself to think reporters could be."

"Miracles do happen."

"They do." Anna pointed them toward a bench near the edge of an artificial pond. "What brings you down to our level, Mr. Talbot?"

"I have business in the city."

"The kind of business I need to help you with?"

"Perhaps." Talbot took a seat and clasped his hands together, his elbows resting on his knees. "It's more that I believe what happened to you is happening again."

Anna forced her gaze toward the pond. "I told you the conditions of my assistance when I began with you."

"Yes, I remember."

"Then I'll take the time to remind you that one of those conditions was that you would help me track down my shadows, not the other way around."

"This isn't that." Talbot put a hand out, "We think… We suspect that we're closing in on the island."

Anna started, "Where?"

"North Sea, we think. It's got a climate similar to the moors where everyone thought you were and the distance from land would make unaided escape difficult."

"Then you do believe someone helped me?"

"I've no doubt about it." Talbot snorted, "As incredible as you are now, Ms. Smith, and as determined as you were at the age of fifteen, I very much doubt you were so formidable as to escape on your own."

"When you say things like that it makes me think you know exactly what I escaped from."

"If I did I couldn't tell you." Talbot leaned back, squinting under his hat. "Though, as I said, we're suspicious that it's happening again."

Anna sighed, "Now you've baited me I'm forced to ask why you think that."

"Children vanishing from northern towns. Usually orphans and workhouse children but some of them have been from more affluent homes."

"Did you ever figure out why I was one of them?" Anna turned to him, "Why I don't remember any of it?"

"I thought our doctor discussed that with you."

"She did and while I respect the expertise of Dr. Seward I also know that if she wanted she could crack my mind like an egg and find the answer."

"I'm not sure any of us would like the result if she chose that rather graphic option." Talbot took a deep breath of his own, "You always say that you don't remember details about the person who stole you away except that it felt dark, evil."

"That's right."

"If you were around it again, could you tell?"

It was Anna's turn for a snort, "If you're asking for my help in a line up I'm afraid I'll be quite useless to you."

"Perhaps, perhaps not." Talbot stood, "No one believed your story back then because it was too incredible."

"No one but you." Anna turned her head up to study him. "I'll be forever in your debt for that, Mr. Talbot."

"Just that?" He grinned and Anna laughed at him.

"I guess I should express more gratitude for you teaching me how to use a gun and protect myself with martial arts."

"That was the least I could do." Talbot extended a hand to her, helping Anna to her feet so they could walk to the other end of the park. "My heart went out to someone else who lost their childhood like I did."

"Not exactly like I did." Anna chided, leaning toward Talbot as they maintained a slow pace around the pond. "But it was nice to know that someone finally understood me. Even if it was only in the vaguest of senses."

"We've all suffered in some way." Talbot stopped them at the edge of the park, facing another street. "It's our duty to end the suffering we can."

"Which is why I agreed to help your cause, Mr. Talbot." Anna took his hand, shaking it. "But I'm afraid I don't want anything to do with how or where you catch whomever's responsible. That's all in my past and the help I've given you is as far as I can go."

"That's a shame." Talbot shrugged, "I just assumed you'd want your revenge, as it were."

"I did but that was a long time ago." Anna turned to look over the street and saw a tall man standing there. Their eyes met but as a bus passed she lost sight of him and when she craned her head for another look he was gone.

Talbot focused on the other side of the street and then turned back to her. "What is it?"

"I just…" Anna shook herself, "I thought I saw someone I thought I recognized. Not unusual in a city of this size."

"Quite right." Talbot pivoted to put his body in another direction, but stopped to face her again. "If I can ask, why don't you want more of this business? Why not take it on for yourself?"

"Other than that I'm a woman and we're not supposed to do anything but faint and swoon at the sign of trouble?"

"I find those poor excuses." Talbot shook his head at her, "If I know anything about Anna Smith it's that she's not one to just sit around and wait for anything."

"It's because it ruined me, Mr. Talbot. I'll never be what I was before and I'll forever bear the sensation that something's hanging over my head because of it." Anna shook her whole body, "I don't want to think that's all I am or all I'll ever have."

"But you survived it. You conquered whatever it was."

"But I didn't." Anna gave a half laugh, an emotion rising in her that she could not name or describe. All she knew is it felt like it wanted to press on her chest until the air left her body. "Someone helped me. Someone rescued me and took me back toward my home. No one believed that because they found no proof. N one believed any of my story and because I couldn't put it into words they assumed I just ran away."

"It's alright to be misunderstood."

"No one wrote about a book about what happened to you like it was fact and then subjected you to signing the copies of it people pushed in your face." Anna stopped herself, the volume in her voice rising. "Mr. Talbot, the final verdict is that I'm ready for my life to move forward. I'm about to be engaged to be married and it's time to put childish things behind me."

"Just because it's from your childhood doesn't make it childish."

"But it does mean it belongs behind me, not ahead." Anna nodded at Talbot, "It's always good to see you Henry and I wish you luck in whatever you find. I just won't be part of it."

Talbot nodded, "If that's your final word then I'll respect that."

"It's all you can do." Anna stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "I hope the next time you pay me a call it can be informal and not about any of this."

"If that were the case…" Talbot stopped himself, "I don't think we'll ever be in a position for me to do that, unfortunately."

"A pity." Anna patted his lapel, "I could do with a friend I can actually have to tea."

"I another world I'd take you up on that offer." Talbot tipped his head at her. "Ms. Smith."

"Mr. Talbot."

He soon vanished into the crowd and Anna turned over her shoulder to check the time on the nearest church steeple before flagging down a bus.


	3. Never Again

_He hurried her into the boat. "Come on, we've not got much time."_

 _"What about the others?"_

 _"There's no saving them now." He tugged her forward, "Anna, there's nothing you can do for them."_

 _"What'll happen?" She yanked her hand from his, "What'll happen to them John? Tell me the truth."_

 _John hung his head, "They'll kill them Anna. That's what they do."_

 _"And you…" She stumbled backward but John stopped her falling. Anna slapped his hands away. "You help them?"_

 _"No," John had to bite back his words to stop the volume. "I don't help them."_

 _"But you've got a boat and you weren't kept like the rest of us."_

 _"They've got other ways to keep you here." John waved a hand at her, "Please, just get in the boat and I'll get you back home."_

 _Anna paused, looking over her shoulder, "I should've done something."_

 _"You can't save them now." He reached for her, "Anna we need to-"_

* * *

Anna opened her eyes and sat up in bed, breathing hard. She took a moment to manage her breathing, closing her eyes to try and calm the pound of her heart, but the images of the dream played strong and vivid behind her eyelids. Forcing her eyes open, she stared into the dark of the room. Or, the mostly dark of the room.

The steady click of the clock ticking next to her had Anna twisting to read its numbers before getting herself out from under the covers. She walked to the wardrobe, opening it to inspect the contents there and barely looking up as the door opened. The maid squeaked, jumping back at the sight of Anna awake, and hurried to try and mop up the spill from the water pitcher in her hand.

"So sorry Miss Anna. Was I supposed to wake you earlier?"

"I couldn't sleep." Anna waved her hand toward the window, "And there's no point tossing and turning just to disturb the sheets you'll have to right in the morning."

"It's my job miss."

"But it's nicer if I don't, Daisy, that's the point."

"Maybe, Miss Anna, you'd sleep better if the room was fully dark. It'd help you feel better. More comfortable and the like."

"I haven't slept in a completely dark room since before I was taken." Anna muttered, turning to Daisy. "Maybe it would help me sleep better."

"I'll get your bedding all sorted out and tell your mother you're awake."

"That's fine." Anna frowned at her wardrobe, "She can help me find what you're supposed to wearing to a formal announcement."

"Oh that's today miss?" Daisy gushed and Anna bit back her smile at the girl's exuberance. "It's so lovely, you and Mr. Kent getting engaged. It's just lovely."

"Thank you Daisy." Anna shrugged, "Everyone seems to think so. I guess that's support enough for it."

"He's a lovely man."

"He's a great many things." Anna shrugged, taking her dressing gown from her wardrobe. "I'll tell my mother I'm awake. Is she?"

"Ms. Dawson went in to her room with a tray a few minutes ago."

"Thank you Daisy."

Anna went into the corridor, avoiding the maids moving about the space, and knocked on her mother's door. The higher voice answered and Anna entered the room, stepping back to allow the red-haired woman to exit with a tray. They smiled at one another before Anna sat on the edge of her mother's bed.

"What's wrong love?"

"Nothing," Anna shook her head but her mother's head peeked from behind her magazine. "I don't know what to wear to this."

"Say the woman publishing interviews with editors of _The Sketch_."

Anna winced, "I didn't know you read the one."

"I do now that you publish in it." She lowered the magazine, folding it. "And, for the announcement of the engagement, you'll want something demure. Something that'll ease his father's mind."

"Is he still…" Anna squinted her eyes as she searched for the right words. "Unsure, about all of this?"

"He's a bit trepidatious because of what he's heard and your latest interview…"

"I told the truth."

"No need to get defensive, darling, I wasn't going to cast judgment on it." Her mother put her hands in her lap, folding them over. "It was good. I thought you expressed yourself well and changed the image you carry as much as you could. I hope it helps convince him."

"James as well?"

"James Kent was convinced the moment his father got nervous." Her mother laughed, "It is the unfortunate reality of children and parents that we do those things that anger and frustrate our parents because we're contrary by nature. Once we get older though…"

"I've never wanted to be contrary." Anna's small voice had her mother laying a hand over the ever-shifting hold of her own.

Their eyes met and her mother squeezed. "You'll be wonderful, Anna, and I think you should wear that blue dress."

"The dark one?"

"No, that's the for the party this evening. For this morning you should wear the paler one. It'll bring out your eyes, which Jimmy'll like, and put his father at ease with it's-"

"Demure nature?"

"Exactly." Her mother moved her from the bed. "Now hurry about it. We've still got last minute errands to run before the announcement at tea and finalizations to make before the party the Crawley's are nice enough to throw us."

"Who would've thought I'd know the kind of people who would let us throw a ball in their home." Anna left her mother's bed, bending to kiss her cheek. "I'll see you downstairs."

"I'll be ready shortly."

"I should hope so or your father and sister'll be all alone at breakfast."

Anna hurried back to her room and opened the door to see Daisy snapping the bedsheet taunt to tuck into place. She nodded at Anna and continued with her duties before standing at attention so fast it made Anna's head spin. She turned to see the red haired woman from her mother's room standing at the door.

"Daisy, are you almost finished in here?"

"Yes Ms. Dawson."

"Good because Mrs. Smith's room will be ready in a moment. She'll want the bedclothes set right as quickly as possible and then you'll do Mr. Smith's room. Understand?"

"Yes Ms. Dawson." Daisy jumped to finish and hurried from the room as Ms. Dawson entered fully enough to shut the door behind her.

Anna waited a beat before laughing with the other woman. "I think you've gone and frightened her."

"It's to be expected. A time-honored tradition of those in power holding it over the others to instill a bit of fear."

"It's not kind Gwen."

"There's no harm done." Gwen stepped forward, opening Anna's wardrobe to inspect the contents. "Your mother mentioned to me that you'd be wearing the pale blue for the announcement."

"She believes it'll make for a better statement of my meekness in the presence of the great Mr. Kent."

"Bank manager or not he does put on airs." Gwen pulled the dress out, laying it over the perfect bed. "I've talked with a few of his maids at market and in the shops. He thinks he's some kind of lord."

"He's the third son of one."

"Which means he's no better than the clerks and able workers under him. Good men like your father." Gwen gathered the other accouterments for Anna's dress before helping her remove her dressing gown and the nightgown. "This is all for show because he's a pompous ass."

"I don't think I should say as much to my future father-in-law."

"Then don't. I'll say it for you." Gwen paused, holding the corset in her hands as Anna worked the chemise over her head. "Do you think your mother'll let me be your lady's maid when you're married?"

"It'll be a wonder if she'll let you go." Anna grinned, holding her arms up so Gwen could tighten the corset around her torso. "She praises you all the time. Says you're the best she's ever had for a maid."

"Daisy's coming along."

"Daisy's a house maid and she'd get far too flustered around my mother." Anna sucked in and then pushed out her lungs, trying to fill them to capacity so Gwen could not tighten the corset all the way. "She'll never survive trying to dress and undress someone who makes her nervous just by her very presence."

"Then we'll get Ethel to do it. She's capable."

"Ethel's an incorrigible flirt who'll only get herself into trouble if they ever have to take her anywhere in public."

"Then what suggestions do you have?" Anna let her arms drop.

"I've got a friend, named Maude, who works for another woman and her daughters but she wants a little lighter of a workload. Says it's a bit mad running around dressing three girls and a mother."

"Give Mother her references." Anna stepped into the skirt and helped button it in place before bringing her arms forward for Gwen to get the blouse fitted about her and then buttoned up the back. "And we'll see if Mr. Kent hasn't already lined up the perfect maid to keep his future daughter-in-law in her proper place."

"I thought that was the business of his wife." Gwen stepped back, holding the small jacket to compliment Anna's skirt in her hands, and Anna shrugged before bending her arms back to fit into it.

"His wife passed a few years ago. It's just he and his son in their house with a housekeeper."

"If it's who I think it is then the woman's a terror." Gwen shuddered, "Mrs. O'Brien. They say she could melt the skin from your bones with just her look at you."

"Let's not be dramatic." Anna sat at her vanity. "I think we need to get this hair out of the way."

"How do you want it?"

"It can't look too severe." Anna sighed, "Pull it back but keep it looking a bit like I'm still a child."

"The better word, in this case, would be 'innocent'." Gwen met Anna's eyes in the mirror. "And I liked your interview in _The Sketch_."

"Thank you." Anna held herself still until Gwen finished. "It was all they wanted to publish those stories of mine."

"So you'll name'll be in print?"

"Not exactly." Anna smiled in the mirror, "I've got a pen name. The editor and I worked it out between us."

"What is it?"

"I'll be going by 'Ms. A. Steed'." Anna shrugged, "Similar enough for my own private joke I suppose."

"Will your future husband care that you're writing?"

"I haven't discussed it with him but I don't think Jimmy's mind too terribly. He seems the kind of person who wouldn't mind if the world shook a bit."

"Within reason." Gwen stepped back, "I think I've got your hair looking properly innocent."

"Thank you Gwen. Please tell my father I'll be down for breakfast once I finish."

"Very good Miss Anna."

Anna hurried to bring color to her eyes and brushed a bit of red to her cheeks. As she stood up from the vanity she caught sight of something out the window. She paused, drawing the shade back to look out on the bustling street below.

There, across the street, was the same man from her walk with Talbot. He rested easily on the bannister of the far staircase with a paper unfolded in his hands. Anna narrowed her eyes and then jumped back as he looked up toward her window. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to ease her breathing enough to stop the thunder of her heart beating inside her chest.

It took her a few moments to settle herself enough to risk coming down to breakfast. Her father, already finished, folded the paper over as she entered and left it on the table as he stood to kiss her cheek. "Good morning darling."

"Good morning." Anna took her seat, nodding at Daisy as the girl hurried to put a covered plate before her. "Where's Marie?"

"She's getting herself dressed. Said she's got other calls on her time today." He sorted through a pile of mail and handed over a few letters to her. "These are yours. There's at least one from an editor. It might be about that interview."

"I hope you're not about to tell me it was a mistake."

"Never." He stopped, taking the seat next to her. "I think it was rather brave and Mr. Kent will appreciate it. Especially in light of tonight's ball."

"I'm glad he'll approve but I did it more for myself than for him."

"I know." Her father covered her hand with his. "Anna, I know that you've worked very hard these last ten years to make all of those memories go away and forge a new life for yourself, and I'm very proud of you."

"But?"

"But I worry you're going into this as a favor to me instead of as something you want."

Anna smiled at her father, "You and I both know that all Jimmy and I have for one another is a friendly affection. That's never been a secret."

"But you deserve to love someone Anna. Not to settle for friendly affection because it's convenient or might do me good professionally."

"This is why you'd never fit with the aristocracy." Anna put her hand over her father's. "You're too good of a person."

"It doesn't make me wrong."

"It doesn't quite change my mind either." Anna sat back. "Jimmy's a good man and he's one of the few who doesn't look at me like an oddity or as if he's waiting for me to tear out of my clothes and attack people at the full moon."

She shrugged, "There's a lot to be said about someone just accepting me as I am, Father, regardless of whether or not he's in love with me."

"Don't you want to follow your heart, Anna?"

"Of course I do. But this is where my heart wants me to go and that's where I'll go with it."

He let out a sigh, "It's your life Anna and I just want you to live it to the fullest."

"For the moment that's going forward with this engagement and moving forward with my life as it is." Anna kissed his cheek, "I'll be fine."

"I hope so." He squeezed her hand and got up from the table, leaving Anna with her letters.

She opened the first with a letter opener and read it quickly before setting it to the side to open the next one. There she paused, the precise handwriting raising the hairs at the back of her neck. Opening it she slid the thin card free and read it quickly before placing it on her lap. The other cards and letters went with the first and she hurried out of her seat, turning to Daisy.

"Take these to my room please, I'll deal with them in due course." Anna clutched the second card to her side with her hand. "And tell my parents I'll be back shortly. There's a small matter I need to attend to but I won't miss the official announcement or the newspaper men."

"Yes Miss Anna."

Anna hurried from the house, rereading the card, and then hailing a cab on the street. She crawled in a noticed the man from earlier, still keeping his vigil, but turned to the driver and called out the address. He flicked the horses forward and Anna worried the card between her fingers.

She disembarked outside a nondescript house as a man descended the steps. He offered her his hand and Anna took it, motioning toward the driver. "Could you settle his debt, Branson? And if not, ask him to wait and I'll pay the difference and both journeys when we return to my house."

"I'll handle it Ms. Smith."

"Thank you." She put a hand to his shoulder and hurried into the house.

The decorations, sparse as they were, spoke to a single man living alone. Anna hurried through the corridor, missing a maid with her stack of linens, and knocked hurriedly at the door to the study. It opened to Talbot's tall frame and he stepped out of her way without another word.

"What does this mean?" She held up the card and Talbot bent to read it.

"Dear Miss Anna, we're pleased to hear of your impending engagement and wish you all the best." He shrugged, "It would appear to be a card of congratulations."

"Don't be foolish." Anna brandished it at him again. "You and I both know it's more than that."

Talbot took the card, feeling over it a moment before frowning. "Did you recognize the handwriting?"

"I'd know it anywhere." Anna pointed at it. "The precision is because he doesn't trust his writing skills. It's a practiced calligraphy."

"He's probably using a guide to keep his writing straight." Talbot held it to the window and squinted at it. "He let it air dry as well. There's not blotter used here."

"There's more to it than that. What is it?"

"By what I can tell?" Talbot shrugged, about to hand the card back to her, but stopped. He fumbled around on his desk and pulled out a candle. Placing it in a holder he struck a match and lit it. "It's an old trick but it'll work."

Anna watched as he worked the card over the heat of the flame. It browned the paper and after a moment Talbot held up the card again. "It seems he's entitled to his little games."

"It seems he is." Anna swallowed, taking the card that now bore a different message. "It says he's coming."

"This could be a good thing Anna." Talbot held a hand out to her but Anna shook her head.

"I don't want him back in my life."

"Without him we never solve the mystery of your abduction or the other children going missing." Talbot stopped, "We can set a trap for him."

"No, we can't." Anna took the card and dropped it in the fire, watching the paper curl and turn to ash. "He'll prepare for that. It's what he does. He's not stupid."

"Then isn't it a good thing neither are we?" Talbot sighed, "We've hope now Anna. We can find those missing children."

"It's better if we leave it as it is." Anna gathered herself, pulling at her fingers. "We just need to move on with our lives."

"I'm not letting down those children who are depending on me."

"Despite the fact the Yard doesn't believe your theories?" Anna pressed and then retracted, noting the flash of pain over Talbot's face. "I'm sorry, that was low."

"It was but I understand it's because you're in pain and trying to defend yourself. But Anna," Talbot stopped, putting a hand through his hair. "It's more than just about you finding your life again."

"I know that." She teethed her lip. "There's something else."

"What?"

"You remember, the other day, when we were walking the together?"

"Of course." Talbot shrugged, "What of it?"

"Did you notice the man watching us?"

"Bulkier fellow who looks like he's fought a bit in his time?"

"Him." Anna took a breath, "I noticed him outside my house this morning. He was still there when I left to come here."

"You're being followed?"

"He's keeping an eye on my house."

Talbot frowned, "He can't be the Yard's. They're not interested in you and they haven't been in some time."

"Then who is he?"

"Do you recognize him?"

"I've tried not to look to closely at him, to be honest." Anna shivered, "But I get this feeling he's from… him."

"You think he sent someone to watch you and that's how he knows about your engagement?"

"I think he never quite let me go." Anna glanced toward the clock. "Bullocks, I've got to get back."

"Yes, your announcement." Talbot walked her to the door. "Would you like me to come with you? Have a chat with this man myself?"

"I don't need a scene when my future father-in-law already believes that I'm a public nuisance." Anna rose up on tiptoe and kissed Talbot's cheek. "But thank you for helping me."

"It's always nice to have a few more friends in the world than we need." Talbot urged her on. "Go on, you've your engagement to announce."

And announce it they did. With Anna and Jimmy holding hands in poses guided and held at the urging of the photographers. With praise and questions from the reporters crowded into their sitting room and library. And with Mr. Kent blustering about how this would settle his son down to take over the bank and how proud he was of the decision.

Jimmy and Anna managed half-sentences to one another in between the questions and the interrogations before they could get a quiet minute to themselves during the families' tea. With her parents occupied speaking to Mr. Kent, Anna pulled Jimmy toward the window. "Are you alright?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He sipped his tea, "It was a bloody circus just having to find the questions I could actually answer."

"Just tell them what you know and let them sort it out."

"Ah," Jimmy grinned at her, "I forgot you're old hat at this."

"I'd rather not be but yes, I am." Anna rested her cup in the saucer. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about something."

"Is it the interview you gave the other day?"

"No, but it was connected to it." Anna swallowed, "I hope you don't mind if I tell you I'll be writing for _The Sketch_."

Jimmy paused, cup halfway to his mouth, "Writing for them how? Not as a reporter I hope."

"Oh no." Anna shook her head. "I'm writing as one of their serialists."

"You've got your own column?"

"For now it's only a few stories but the editor liked them and wants to continue publishing what I have if he can." Anna cringed, "I hope you don't mind it."

"Will you publish under your name?"

"I'm trying not to sensationalize it so I've got a pseudonym."

"Then I've no problem with it." Jimmy jerked his head back toward the door where all the reporters herded out earlier. "I don't want them banging at our door if we can help it."

"I agree." Anna sighed, "I've had enough of reporters for a lifetime."

"Two lifetimes." Jimmy suggested and they clasped hands. "I know we're not… in love, Anna. But I'm grateful you accepted my proposal."

"So am I." She turned her face for him to kiss her cheek.

"I'll see you this evening, at the Crawley's ball."

"Until then." Anna drank the rest of her tea as Jimmy and his father made their goodbyes.

Then it was a race to get everyone in the house ready for the evening. Gowns and white tie ready and pressed while hair and jewelry carefully accented the faces gleaming with added powder or color. Anna pulled her midnight gloves up her arms and turned in front of Gwen.

"Acceptable?"

"More than." Gwen brought a cloth forward and finished the last touches on Anna's face. "I think you're more than ready for the evening."

"I do hope so." She accepted her wrap and joined the rest of her family in the foyer.

They trundled toward Grantham House in their borrowed carriage and disembarked in the line of people there to celebrate. Those who knew them greeted them on the stairs or as they divested themselves of wraps and cloaks and hats in the coat check. Anna tried to avoid the staring eyes and worked her way through the throngs to where a tall woman with an imposingly bony frame conversed with four men simultaneously. All had their eyes fixed on her in rapture as Anna tapped the woman's shoulder.

She turned on a heel and embraced Anna without a second thought to the gathered men. "It's so good to see you."

"And you, Mary." Anna faced the men, "Won't you introduce me?"

"Ah," Mary pointed to each in turn. "This is Tony Foyle or the Viscount Gillingham, Charles Blake of the Home Office, Evelyn Napier of the Foreign Office, and Matthew Crawley, my father's new solicitor."

"Crawley?" Anna shook all of their hands, taking his last. "I assume you're a relation."

"Third cousin or something like that." He smiled at her. "But I guess it's all a matter of perspective."

"I guess it is." Anna turned to take in the rest of the room. "What a party they've gathered for us here isn't it?"

"I believe the party's for you." Mary took her by the shoulders and steered Anna away. "Aren't they all just a gorgeous group?"

"You've assembled quite the desire of suitors there Mary." Anna laughed as they approached the ballroom.

She let the grandeur of it sweep over her like the bright lights. Her smile grew as her gaze moved and then froze. Almost as soon as if formed and froze it melted from her face. Anna could swear it dripped away and nothing could stop it. Mary said something but the sound muffled in her ear and Anna could not have repeated the statement or question or whatever it was if she wanted to.

For there, standing at the back of the room but making his way forward, he was. Dressed in white tie that made him appear far more handsome than he had any right to be. And when he stood before her in the next second, raising her hand to his lips to kiss it, he murmured his congratulations before introducing himself to Mary.

"John Bates, a pleasure to meet you."


	4. John Breaks Through

Anna gaped at him, struggling to find words as she caught Mary's confusion in her periphery. Her jaw flexed and whined like an unoiled machine as Anna searched for words to fill the void between she and the man staring at her. Eventually the cotton in her ears cleared and Anna shook herself to face Mary.

"What?"

"I don't know why I even bother." Mary threw her hands up, the smile on her face betraying the jest in her actions as Anna tried to calm the thunder of blood in her ears as her heart raced. "She's been absolutely hopeless since she got engaged."

"Engaged?" John frowned, his eyes flicking to meet Anna's while a tight smile stretched over his face. "I do apologize, I came here under another invitation and I wasn't aware we were here to celebrate impending nuptials."

"They just had their official declaration this afternoon, for all the newspaper men." Mary shuddered, "It's what happens when anyone of any kind of prominence decides they'll enter the bonds of matrimony."

"Must be tiring to be in the public eye so." John let his eyes meet Anna's but his words continued toward Mary. "I'm sure you're not under that kind of pressure Miss?"

"I'm under pressure if I happen to walk in public with a man, Mr. Bates." She extended her hand. "And it's Ms. Crawley."

"Then the correct form of address would be 'Lady Mary', would it not?" His smile grew toward her, taking her hand to his lips to kiss it before releasing in an acceptable time. "And I doubt there are many men who wouldn't give up their right arm to walk in public with you."

"Their right arm?" Mary raised an eyebrow, "Why not the left?"

"They need to have their left so they can offer it to you." John turned to Anna, "And may I offer my congratulations to you?"

"That would be appropriate." Anna swallowed, speaking toward Mary as her eyes stayed on John. "Would you excuse us a moment Mary? I need to speak to Mr. Bates in private."

"Do you two know one another?" Mary frowned, "You've never mentioned a friend as charming as this before."

"He's been away for some time." Anna managed before John interrupted her.

"I did some business with her father when Anna was young. She introduced me to a fine novel and we've corresponded over the years about books. Literary pen pals, if you like."

"What novel did she introduce you to?"

John smiled, " _Wuthering Heights_."

Mary groaned, "I never did understand the Yorkshireman's obsession with that novel."

"I wouldn't understand it either. I'm Irish." John nodded at Mary, "I do understand your distaste. I can't say the character of Heathcliff was anyone I admired in a great way."

"I should hope not. The man's absolutely ghastly." Mary shuddered and turned to Anna. "But you only get a moment. James'll be here and you'll need to walk the room with him. You know how everyone gets if they feel you forgot them on your nice of celebration."

"Wouldn't want anyone to feel left out." Anna agreed and waited for Mary to walk back toward the gaggle of men waiting to see to her every need before she turned to John. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to offer my congratulations."

"You're lying." Anna leveled a finger at him and then eyed the room, drawing back. "Follow me but don't appear as if you are."

She turned on her heel and left the ballroom, walking the corridor to the end and pushed open the door to a small cupboard. Finding it empty she waited for John to join her and then herded him into the space before closing the door. A small gas lamp flickered in the corner, casting the tiny space with a dusky glow.

"Quaint."

"Private." Anna responded, crossing her arms over her chest. "What are you doing here?"

"I already told you."

"And I know that's a lie." Anna took a breath, "Are you the threat?"

"Threat?" John frowned, "I don't know what you mean."

"He sent me a letter, congratulating me on my engagement." Anna bit at her cheek. "His real message was a promise that he's coming."

"Coming here?" John shook his head, "He never leaves."

"Neither did you." Anna looked him over, her eyes narrowing. "Why are you back John?"

"Senior is dead."

Anna let out a breath and pushed her palm to her forehead. Her whole body shook a moment as she tried to steady her breathing and think past the thump in her brain. A touch from John's hand soothed her for only a moment but she pushed away from him.

"Why would you come here to tell me that?" Anna shook her head, a ringing in her ears sounding vaguely like cries and shrieks before reminding her of sobbing. "I didn't want… I can't…"

"He's left it all to Alex. He's taken over the work and started it all again." John sagged in place, his hands dropping to his sides. "You needed to know."

"Why?" Anna's eyes narrowed again, "Why would I need to know?"

"He only ever listened to you." Anna started shaking her head and John pressed to continue speaking. "If you told him to stop then it might and if you came back with me we could help the-"

"No!" Anna put a hand over her mouth, the echo of her shout bouncing around them in the space. She used the silence to ensure no one responded from the corridor before hissing at John. "I won't go back. I escaped once and I'm never setting foot on that island again."

"If you don't come back then worse things'll happen. Those children need your help."

"Then you help them." Anna pointed at him, "You once saved me. You could save them."

"I could only save you because Senior never suspected me. Alex…"

"Alex is not my problem."

"He's worse than Senior was." John put a hand through his hair, tousling it. "He's… He's vindictive and cruel, Anna. He's taking more children than his father ever dared and-"

"I gave you my answer and it won't change." Anna hauled in a breath, holding it a moment to try and stop the quivering of all her muscles and the ticking nerve telling her to run. "It's not real. It was never real."

"You don't believe that."

"I have to believe it." Anna motioned around them. "This is my life now. Whatever happened before, whoever we were before, we're not that any longer. We can't be that any longer."

John snorted, "So what? You'll just convince yourself that it was a hallucination or a dream or a nightmare and none of it happened?"

"It's how the story goes."

"It was real Anna." John's hands covered hers and Anna froze. "What we have is real."

"Had, John." Anna withdrew her hand from his, stepping toward the door. "We're not those people anymore."

"We're older but that's-"

"That's not all." Anna stopped herself again, the rise in her voice acting as its own warning. "I'm not going back, John. I've put it behind me and I'm moving forward with my life."

She turned to put her hand on the knob for the door but John caught it, forcing her to turn and face him. "It still haunts you Anna. I can see it in your face and behind your eyes."

"It was a year of my life, ten years ago. I can forget it."

"You haven't." John released her hand. "Just like you can't forget what happened between us. A fact you'd admit if you weren't playing the part of the coward in this narrative."

Anna hauled a deep breath through her nose and threw herself at John. For a moment he seemed to raise his hands as if to defend himself from her attack. But no attack came.

Instead she kissed him furiously, driving all the madness and rage and fear inside her into the kiss. All the emotions sending her mind reeling and keeping her soul in turmoil mined in a moment to send fire into the smack of lip against lip. The angry clash of teeth and tongue tempered by his energies to soothe and suckle until Anna could only bury the moans in his mouth.

Each motion she made toward him he returned. Her fingers crushed into his jacket, tugging him closer to her and he steered them until her back hit the door. A hand settled at her waist, keeping her steady when their mouths slanted to try and bring the other closer and Anna's other hand dug into the hair at the back of his neck. When her leg rose to wrap over his hip he held her there and pressed forward.

But as Anna went to tug him closer images flashed before her eyes and the noises rose in her ears above the sounds of their breathing. The flood of memories overwhelmed her and Anna shoved John away. He gaped, open-mouthed to the point where his jaw practically hit his chest, as they both sucked for air.

"Anna?"

She pushed him away when he tried to take a step toward her. Between the breaths she hauled into her lungs she found the words she wanted. "That's not us anymore John."

"Yes it is." He pointed between them and Anna scrunched her eyes closed to try and focus her thoughts, to drown out the desire still humming in her blood. She tried to focus on those memories slipping beneath the anger. "If not then why-"

"We can't be that anymore John." Anna straightened, trying to sort herself out without a mirror. "We're not those people anymore."

"Because you say so?"

"Because I'm about to be married." Anna pulled herself to her full height, noting for a second that it still made her miniscule in his hands. "And this is the life I choose. Everything before was nothing."

"It wasn't nothing to me."

"It's nothing to me now." Anna opened the door and left him in the closet.

* * *

Anna sat heavily, James taking the seat across from her and lifting a leg into his lap. She tried to argue but he hushed her and removed her shoe to start rubbing over her foot. "You deserve this."

"You're far too good for me." Anna leaned back in her chair as James pressed into the arch of her foot. She hissed and tried to retract but he persisted. "That hurt."

"I learned it from a massage parlor owned by a Chinese man by the docks." James gave her a little grin, pressing in another spot to immediately soothe the pain. "It's supposed to connect to another part of your body."

"Is it?" Anna set her arm on the chair back next to her to support her head. "I suppose there's some kind of magic to what they do. You don't have a culture that old without secrets."

"He was willing to tell me all about acupuncture if I would take some strange concoctions." James shuddered, "One of them was the blood of a hanged man he thought might cure my cough."

"That's disgusting." Anna sighed as James continued with her foot before bringing the other to give it the same treatment. "You so spoil me."

"You're spoiling me." He gave her a little smile before his face fell a bit. "I'm sure I don't have to say this but it's all thanks to you that my father doesn't know."

"We're both doing each other requisite favors I guess." Anna watched his face, her legs twitching when he hit a ticklish spot. "We're the solution to our rather insurmountable problems aren't we?"

"Do you ever wonder what we would've done if we hadn't met?" James set the first foot back on the floor and continued with the second.

"Found another solution." Anna dug her fingers into her hair and pulled the pins out individually. "You're resourceful and I'd hazard to guess that I'm not entirely helpless on my own."

"As proved by your interview." His grin deflated when he caught sight of her face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was poking fun. I just-"

"No, it's nothing. I just-"

"Because I know it was a serious thing and I-"

"James!" Anna raised her voice and stopped him midsentence. She leaned forward, the muscle in the back of her leg stretching enough to twitch her lip but she set her hand over his a moment all the same. "It's alright. I'm not so fragile I can't see a joke and enjoy it."

"Even when it might be at your expense?"

"We're all the butt of someone's joke eventually." Anna adjusted back in her seat, easing the muscles in her leg. "Even if unspoken in company then it's at the words of the angels and God Himself."

"I don't think we're a joke to God."

"Nor do I." Anna closed her eyes, tipping her head back to shake her hair loose from its tight curls. "But I heard they discovered an animal in Australia with the bill of a duck and the body of a beaver so what does that tell you?"

James made a noise and set her second foot back on the floor. "If I stay here much longer they'll think I'm taking liberties with our newly declared engagement."

"Daisy made up your room already." Anna pointed toward the door. "If you're still convinced the best option is for you to go to Glasgow tomorrow."

"Father needs someone he trusts to investigate the bank." James came toward her, hand on the chair back behind her head as she leaned to look up into his face. "This is good for us."

"It means you'll inherit his position at the bank and not ghastly Mr. Sampson?"

"Terrance has his flaws but he's-"

"He's not you." Anna put her hand on the side of James's cheek and stroked her thumb along the skin there. "You'll do your father proud and he'll stop fretting about at least one thing before the wedding."

"He'll find something else to fret about."

"But it won't be your business acumen." Anna put her lips forward and kissed the cheek where her fingers were not and then pulled back. She frowned at the expression on his face. "What?"

"Why don't you ever kiss me?"

"I just did."

"I mean…" He huffed, mouth scrunching as if he wanted to find the right words for what he meant. "Why don't you ever kiss me? Really kiss me?"

"On the lips?"

"There could be other places in the future." James wagged his eyebrows at her and Anna scowled. "It was just for comparison."

"I know what it was." Anna shifted, leaning her elbows on her knees as James tipped back into his seat across from her. "I guess I… I just haven't tried it yet."

"We could now." James made a show of looking around him. "There's no one about. They'd never know because our chaperones already succumbed to the pull of the night and we're alone in here."

Anna snorted and tipped forward as James did so they almost touched noses. "Do you want me to kiss you James?"

"I'd rather have some practice before we're doing it in front of two hundred guests whose names we don't know who'll spent our entire reception talking with my father about international business." James took a breath, "I know we're in love but I'd like us to have a full relationship Anna."

"Right now?"

"No, not now. But in the future. I don't want us going to the marriage bed like fawns just learning how to walk and then fumbling about with one another as if we don't know what we're doing or as if we're strangers."

Anna took his hand, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles before bending to kiss there. As she came up to look in his eyes again her other hand cupped his cheek. She took a breath and pressed forward.

Their lips met and for a moment they both froze. Then James's hand, tentative and yet eager, curved around the back of her neck to hold her in place as he tried to deepen the kiss. But even when his lips left hers Anna felt the same. A kind of steady beat of cold held in her chest and Anna blinked it away from her face as James opened his eyes.

"That was…" He let out a little laugh. "That was wonderful."

"I'm glad." Anna stroked his cheek once more and then let her hand drop. "You'd best get to your room before anyone asks any questions."

"I'll just tell them I'm the happiest man on earth." James managed to surprise her with a quick peck before he jumped to his feet. "I'll see you at breakfast."

"When's your train?"

"It's not until ten. I'll have plenty of time." He took her hand, kissing over it and then her forehead. "Goodnight Anna."

"Goodnight James." Anna watched him go and closed her eyes.

* * *

 _Her fingers shook as she slid the lock back and opened the door. It creaked and she froze, ears pricked as if to hear the blades of grass signal the arrival of feet or recognition of the noise. When nothing happened she slipped out of the space and pulled the door closed again, catching it before it could creak, and set off at a run across the grass._

 _Bare feet pounded over the ground and the only noise was the gentle swish of her nightgown brushing over the damp ground. Her toes sunk deep to keep her quiet and gave her the lift she needed to avoid bringing her feet down on branches strewn over the path. Each one she jumped let her heart skip a little higher and when she reached the edge of the lake her breath came in gasps that formed clouds by her mouth but she ignored that. Instead she reveled in the silence and the freedom that surrounded her as she reached the water._

 _At the far edge of the little bay a light blinked and Anna hauled her nightgown over her head to leave it on the bank. The chill blew over her, sending her skin prickling in the cold. She ignored it, shaking her limbs loose, and dived into the water._

 _It barely splashed around her as she moved under the surface of the water. In a few lengths her head broke the surface and she steered herself toward the light blinking at the far end of the bay. Each stroke brought her closer to it and soon Anna's fingers closed around the support of a wooden dock._

 _She climbed up onto it, shivering as the air now slipped and slapped at her wet skin, and curled herself at the end of the dock. A folded boat cloak sat there and she pulled it around her trembling body, rubbing over her limbs and fingers to restore the flow of blood. The heavy folds of the cloak enveloped her and she tugged it closer to wrap herself in the comfort and warmth provided by it._

 _Soon her body regulated itself and even her toes moved without tingling. Anna tucked herself into the fabric and stared out into the night. The inky darkness of the distance hid everything but the siren sounds of boat horns and the occasional glimmer of a lantern. Every one served as a promise, a temptation, and a disappointment as it continued past the little island and the dangling light at the end of the dock._

 _"_ _They won't stop." Anna jumped to her feet as a voice rang out behind her. She clutched the cloak tighter to herself and almost slipped on the wet wood as a man approached. "We're outside their shipping lane."_

 _"_ _Who are you?"_

 _"_ _I just work the boats for Mr. Green." He shrugged his shoulders, hands thrusting into his pockets as he approached her. "Who are you?"_

 _"_ _No one you need worry about."_

 _"_ _Mr. Green might worry since you got out of your dormitory and swam out here." He scratched the back of his head, looking around. "He might think you were trying to escape."_

 _"_ _I'm not stupid. I know what happens when we try to do that." Anna nodded behind her, toward the water. "It's too far to swim anyway. I'd die trying."_

 _"_ _Or float until he finds you and then start this all over again." The man stuck out a hand. "John Bates. I managed the boats here."_

 _"_ _For Mr. Green?"_

 _"_ _In a way." He looked at his hand, which Anna did not take, and retracted it. "I guess we're all a bit disappointed with our lots in life."_

 _"_ _Not sure you know what that means."_

 _"_ _You're not the only one who wishes they could be anywhere but here." John met her eyes. "Are you going to tell me who you are?"_

 _"_ _What does it matter?"_

 _"_ _It matters to me." He waited but she did not respond. "I guess you'll manage on your own."_

 _"_ _As I'm sure you do." Anna folded her arms around herself as John snorted. "Something funny?"_

 _"_ _I'm just wondering how you managed to do this when that cloak wasn't available."_

 _"_ _It wasn't cold when I used to do it." Anna shrugged under the weight of the cloak. "Why does it matter?"_

 _"_ _It's mine. That's why I'm here. I forgot it."_

 _"_ _Oh," Anna went to remove it but he put his hand forward. Their fingers brushed a moment but he pulled back as soon as she did. "I didn't know."_

 _"_ _It's fine." John waved her off. "Just keep it, for now. When you're ready to swim back just leave it hanging there and I'll get it in the morning."_

 _"_ _You'll let me keep it?"_

 _"_ _I'll let you borrow it." John saluted her. "Have a nice evening."_

 _As he walked away Anna, her fingers trailing over the edges of the cloak, called out to him. "My name's Anna. Anna Smith."_

 _He stopped, pivoting to face her again. "It was a pleasure to meet you Anna."_

 _"_ _And you, John." She held up the edge of the fabric. "Thank you for the loan."_

 _"_ _Just don't let it get too cold. I need it on the sea."_

 _"_ _I know." Anna watched him walk away, sinking back into the warmth of the borrowed cloak until she had to leave it hanging from the post._

* * *

Anna blinked her eyes, pushing herself off the chair and groaning at the crick in her back. She bent to get her shoes from the floor, her fingers finding the pins on the side table, and made her way out of the parlor. Her stockinged feet made almost no sound on the carpet and she pushed into her room without alerting anyone.

As she entered the room she stopped, her fingers curling around the pins in her hand at the sight of John in her room. He stood by the window, his white tie exchanged for dark clothing that hung loosely about his body. His legs stretched from where he sat on the edge of the window seat and he held her gaze when their eyes met.

"I thought we finished our discussion at the Crawley's ball." Anna closed the door behind her, walking to her vanity to leave the pins there before dropping her shoes near her wardrobe.

"You finished it there, yes."

"I've nothing more to say." Anna pulled off her gloves, keeping her eyes on him but he did not move from his place by the window. "Is there something more you've got to say?"

"That this is our responsibility."

"If you're wracked with guilt then go and see a priest. I've nothing to do with this." Anna went to put her gloves on her vanity but John caught her hands.

"We owe it to those still trapped there."

"Why did you not help them away?" Anna wrenched herself from his grip. "You had the means. You could've rescued them."

"They had my mother. If I did it then she'd be dead."

"That's the price we pay, John." Anna hissed back, dropping her gloves and letting her jewelry fall on top of the fabric. "We choose the lives that matter to us."

"And the fact that I helped you get away means nothing to you? That I chose your life as one that mattered to me?"

"It meant everything to me John. But you…" Anna stopped herself, shaking her head. "It's in the past."

"You keep saying that but I don't believe you believe it." John stopped her moving toward her wardrobe. "You wouldn't still be convincing yourself if it wasn't true."

"You don't know me anymore." Anna escaped his grip again, pulling back. "You don't know me."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Do you want me to say mine?" Anna scoffed at him, drawing closer to him. "Do you want me to apologize for running away when I had the chance? For choosing my life when you would choose another over me?"

"I couldn't leave her."

"And now you want me to go back and save those who mean nothing to me?"

"I want…" John stopped himself, shaking his head. "It's not worth the effort to convince you. You're not the same person you were."

"And you're not who you were."

They stood with barely a sliver of space between them. In a moment John's lips crashed down on hers and her fingers tangled in the loose fabric of his shirt. Their mouths moved over one another's in a rush, the energy of the motions making Anna dizzy in a moment. In the corner of her mind not wholly taken over in the rush of emotions, she wondered if James realized this was the fire and passion she could summon.

Just not for him.

John's hands pulled her closer, clawing at the skirt of her dress to ruck it up toward her hips as her leg trapped the fabric between them when it took the place over his hip she tempted toward earlier in the evening. He muttered into her mouth but it faded into a groan that only had Anna pulling herself toward his shoulders with a clawed hand when she rubbed herself closer to him. They almost stumbled but John kept them upright enough to lean Anna back against the cushioned chair in her room.

He tipped toward her, their bodies pressing closer and closer as they tried to crawl into the other's skin. The material of her dress bunched and dragged upward until it floated behind Anna and she dug her nails into his skin through his skirt as the tease of his fingers over her knickers. A bit of maneuvering and the cloth fell to her ankles when Anna dropped her leg from his hip to allow the motion.

A lift left the knickers forgotten on the floor as John heaved Anna toward his chest. Their mouths still attacked one another, Anna leaving her keening whimper there when John's fingers touched the skin that heated and wept with each caress that took him closer and closer to where her hips bucked for him to land. Her own fingers hurried to try and manage the fastenings on his trousers and they gaped to allow her hand to explore territory untouched but not forgotten.

They thrust toward one another, taking time to pleasure and please at the hands of the other. John's fingers skimmed and sipped until they finally sank where Anna's muscles clenched and sucked. With each press and dip and crook of his fingers inside her, Anna returned the favor in kind with squeezes, caresses, and fondling until neither of them could breathe.

In the second they had to stare at one another, both removed their hands and Anna spread her legs wide enough for John to thrust forward. Her shriek died in the fabric of his shirt as she bit into it. He held her close, trying to manage the thrusts of his body into hers as she adjusted, and then lifted to carry her the few steps toward the bed.

Her back hit the mattress and Anna brought her legs higher to allow him deeper. His hands smoothed over her legs, the stockings rolling and shifting when he slipped fingers under the garters to access more of her skin. Anna scrabbled for a hold over the fabric covering him and finally slid her hands underneath. The scars along his back had her biting away from the kiss.

John paused for a moment but Anna tilted her hips and he thrust again. Her nails digging into the skin of his side had him moving faster and deeper until Anna only had to tilt her hips for John to strike the right spot. She crashed over the edge with her teeth gritted tightly together to lock the sound between her jaws. The motions and tremors through her body reverberated into John and she felt his release as it moved through her as well.

They sighed against one another, John only just catching himself from collapsing onto her. Anna let her head hit the duvet under her, gazing into the blackness above her as John shifted and lifted from her. Propping herself on her elbows she stared at him, only the glint of their eyes visible this far from her window. Both of them breathed heavily until John finally spoke.

"I should go. I wouldn't want to compromise you."

"I'm already compromised." Anna sat up, pushing herself to the end of the bed so she could grip his wrist to stop him turning away from her. "The scars on your back-"

"When you got away…" John moved his jaw and then shook his head. "My mother died that night and they had no reason to spare the rod any longer."

"But you stayed?"

"I didn't have a choice." John shook his head, "I had nowhere else to go."

"Why didn't you come to me?" Anna slid over the bed, the material of her dress helping her slide. "You had me."

"You didn't remember me." John shook his head, moving back toward the window now that his clothing was once again composed. "You didn't remember any of us."

He slipped out the window and Anna collapsed back on the bed, the back of her hand pressed to her forehead as the memories jumbled and fuzzed in her brain. Her other hand covered her mouth as sobs racked from her chest, running through her as she cried alone in the dark. Alone except for the whisper of John's presence on her skin.


	5. The Shadow

Anna posed again, her arms straight from the hold of her hands on her crossed knees, and she forced a face-aching smile while speaking through her teeth to James. "Are these necessary?"

"Father thinks so." Jimmy mumbled through barely-parted lips as he held a top hat next to his body and his equally stiff other arm gripped his knee to keep the straight-backed position in the chair beside her. "Something to show his friends and associates."

"We look ridiculous."

"I feel ridiculous."

Another flash blinded Anna and she blinked it away as the photographer reset. "How was Glasgow?"

"Dull but fruitful." James cracked his neck and stretched his arms to shake out the kinks. "The first assessment was mine. The second was my father's."

"I assumed as much." Anna stood and moved about to stretch cramped muscles. "But you obviously did well if your father thinks it was fruitful."

"He was nothing short of complementary for ten minutes before his secretary drew his attention elsewhere."

"That's good then. You're taking part in the business and he's trusting you." Anna took James's hand, her thumb moving over it as she searched in the depths of her soul for some kind of deep emotion to give him. She found nothing and could only give him a reassuring smile. "Soon you'll get to run the business how you like and everyone will realize your capabilities."

"The only problem is that I neither care if they realize it nor do I want to actually run his business."

Anna smiled at him, releasing his hand to take the next pose as James round the chair to stand behind her. "That's two things."

She went to put the smile back on her face when her ears pricked. In a moment she pushed her toes to the ground through her shoes to throw her chair backward. It knocked into James, tripping him to his knees, and she rolled to cover him with her body as a series of loud shots rang through the room.

Anna covered her ears, peeking through a gap in her elbow toward the photographer, and cried out when he crumpled to the floor with a number of bright red blotches staining his shirt. James tried to move but Anna kept her weight on him, holding him to the floor as another hail of bullets ripped through the windows of the photography studio and buried themselves in the walls around them. The fffpt noises that ripped through paint and wallpaper, sending shards of glass clinking and tinkling to the floor as the photographs shredded, finally ceased to leave Anna huddled over James in a moment of overbearing silence.

She shifted, glass falling from her hair and off her body, and allowed James to rise as well. He went to stand but she kept a hand on his shoulder and shook her head. When he went to speak, Anna clapped her hand over his mouth and shook her head.

James hung back as Anna crawled over the floor, pulling her skirt over her hands to protect herself from the glass covering the wood, and went to the window. With her back to the wall, Anna carefully craned her head to see out the broken shards to the street below. A crowd gathered and the distant sounds of whistles alerted her to the police but it also caused a flutter in the building next door.

Anna slid up the wall, ducking her head around to see the flash of a barrel in the window across the street. Tearing her skirt, she covered her hands and used her arms as she dove through the window. Her roll on the pavement jarred her shoulders but Anna stood, shaking herself of more glass and darted into the building across the street.

As she entered, the door at the back of the building knocked against the jamb and she sprinted through the tight corridor to follow. Her shoulder caught the door, forcing it open, and Anna saw a figure tossing something over the back garden wall before jumping for the edge. Bending down to grab a loose piece of pavement, Anna threw it and caught the other figure in the shoulder.

The figure dropped with a cry and Anna approached cautiously, her hand wrapped around a forgotten gardening trowel. But she ducked away with the figure pulled something from their coat. With a duck and roll, Anna crouched behind a tree to the tune of three bullets sinking into the wood.

With a breath, Anna rolled from her hiding spot to send the trowel spinning through the air. It knocked against the figure's forehead and the hood fell back as the woman dropped to the ground. Anna dived forward, landing on the woman's arm to knock the smaller gun free and sat on her chest.

"Edna?"

A fist knocked against the side of Anna's head and she tumbled to the side as Edna slipped free. Even the manic grab Anna attempted at Edna's flapping coat was not enough to stop the woman. She gained a foothold and jumped for the lip of the garden wall to throw herself over the edge of it.

Anna tried to stand but something tackled her midriff and held her to the ground. She squirmed but the sharp rap of a Billy club hit her side and she shrank into the motion. Hands pulled at her shoulders, her wrists still held behind her back, and turned her to face a man with a large nose and the bushiest eyebrows to ever menace her.

"And just what do you think you're doing?"

"Stop!" Anna paused, her mouth open to respond as James ran into the garden, holding his bullet-ridden hat in one hand. "That's my fiancé."

"Are you saying your fiancé tried to kill you sir?"

"No, she…" James took a breath. "She went after whomever shot at us. She was trying to catch them."

"A lady trying to catch a manic killer?"

"Stranger things have happened, Inspector Carson." Anna's shoulders dropped with relief as Talbot entered the garden, his hands digging deeply into his pockets. "Ms. Smith here's been through much worse than a bit of a run."

"You're the feral child?"

"I prefer Moor Cretin myself." Anna took her hands back from the abashed sergeant holding her hostage. "It had a nicer ring to it. Made me seem a bit more dangerous."

"My apologies, Ms. Smith, but I'm sure you understand that-"

"That under the circumstances there wasn't anything you could do. Yes, I'm aware." Anna massaged her wrist and then put a hand to her shoulder. "I do hope I can give you a description of the woman who shot at my fiancé and I, killing our poor photographer."

"If you'd be so kind."

"She's my height, darker hair, and eyes about my color. She's very gifted with a gun at both short and long range so try not to corner her. Quick, capable climber, and tends toward the aggressive."

Inspector Carson blinked at her, "A woman, you say?"

"Yes Inspector." Anna held his gaze until Inspector Carson looked away. "I promise you, it'd be to the detriment of yourself and your men to underestimate her. She's not to be trifled with."

"We'll take that under advisement." Inspector Carson looked between Anna, James, and Talbot before shaking his head. "This is not how I wanted to spend my morning."

"I'm sure you'll appreciate that we didn't wish this either." James slipped his arm through Anna's. "And, Inspector, unless you have other questions for us at this time, we'd best be on our way. Our families are sure to be worried about us given that gossip will travel faster than we can."

"Of course." Inspector Carson motioned to the sergeant behind them. "Andrew here will escort you both home and then come and collect you tomorrow to take your statements."

"Statements?" Anna flicked her eyes toward Talbot, who only shrugged. "What more could you need from us?"

"We need to know the details of the attack so the newspapers do not report it incorrectly."

"Too late for that I'm sure." Anna muttered and then sighed, "I'm sure we can find time in our busy schedules to tell you exactly how terrified we were by the events of today, Inspector."

"Please don't underestimate my concern for you Ms. Smith it's just-"

"I think, Inspector," James stepped forward, putting a hand on Anna's arm to stop her. "That my fiancé is a bit overcome by the events of today and I really should be getting her home."

"Right." Inspector Carson snapped his heels. "Be on your way then. We know where to find you both."

"That's not comforting." Anna tried to say but James cut over her.

"Thank you Inspector. And we'll let you know should anything else happen." James guided Anna from the garden when Talbot and the sergeant- Andrew- on their heels.

When they reached the pavement Talbot hailed a cab, ignoring the stares from the people on the street as he held the door open for James and Anna before pointing to where the driver sat for Andrew. "I think you'd best be where you can see everything."

"Right." He climbed in with the driver and Talbot took the seat facing James and Anna in the rear.

The door snapped shut and Anna sagged into the seat. "Thank you."

"Inspector Carson's a good man and he means well but he can be a bit overbearing if not guided with a gentle hand." Talbot extended his hand to James. "Pleasure to meet you Mr. Kent. I've heard nothing but good about you."

"And now I'm embarrassed to say I've heard nothing about you at all." James turned to Anna, who motioned between the two of them.

"Henry Talbot, my trainer and liaison, this is my fiancé James Kent. James, this is my friend Henry."

"Friend?" James frowned, "From where? Since when? He's on none of the invitations we've ever sent."

"For good reason and please, don't try and send me any in future either. It's best that the work I do and who I am remain as anonymous as possible." Talbot sighed, "Working in the job I do can be… difficult if I attend too man public functions."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I was tracking the woman who decided she wanted to try and leave you both resembling pincushions." Talbot's lips turned down, "I'm just sorry I missed her before she ended the life of your poor photographer."

"So am I." Anna massaged her forehead, "That poor man. Killed just doing his job."

"Poorer still sine my father'll be more livid he died before he could finish taking the photographs of us." James manipulated the hat in his hands. "He'll want us to take them all over again."

"I'm sure he will." Anna turned to Talbot, "How long've you been following her?"

"Ms. Braithwaite made an appearance in the north two days ago and I've been trying to track her since." Talbot bit at his lip. "I'd hoped to catch her before you knew she was in the country."

"What's she doing here?"

"Possibly fulfilling on the note you received in the post."

Anna closed her eyes, the fabric at her arm twitching as James shifted beside her. "What note?" She persisted in keeping her eyes closed until James's hand at her shoulder forced her to face him. "What note, Anna?"

"One that I suspect someone sent me as a warning." Anna covered James's and with her own, pulling it from her shoulder. "James, I haven't been entirely honest with you."

"About?"

"About what happened to me in the year I went missing." Anna took a breath, looking to Talbot as he nodded his encouragement. "I don't remember everything that happened. Some of it comes back in flashes and snippets but I only get glimpses of it. An alienist, recommended to me by Mr. Talbot, suggested that my mind repressed those memories as a way to protect itself."

"That's why you don't remember who took you or how it happened?"

Anna nodded, "Exactly that." She took a deep breath, "From what little I do remember, I don't want to know more. That's the truth of it."

"Then what about the note?"

"All I know is that it told me whomever took me was coming here."

"How do you know?"

Anna shuddered, "There are things even your mind can't bury. One of those things is the feeling I get. Like something cold and slimy just touched my hand. I can't get away from it and I can't ignore it. Whatever my mind doesn't want me to remember about whomever took me, it won't let me forget so much that I don't immediately shy away from it when I recognize it."

"So the note?"

"I recognized the handwriting. I can't say how or why but I know that whomever sent it means me not more good now than it did ten years ago."

"And the woman?"

"I remember her face from then. I don't remember why I know her or what she is to me but I do remember her." Anna pulled her arms around herself and allowed James to tuck her close to his body. "Whatever happened to her could've happened to me. She wasn't so different from me once."

"You know that?"

"I hope for that." Anna turned to Talbot. "I know what I told you a few weeks ago but I think I might need to amend my absolute refusal to help you."

"Then I think I should suggest we visit Doctor Seward again."

"Who is Doctor Seward?" James frowned, looking between Anna and Talbot. "Who is she to Anna?"

"She's the doctor Mr. Talbot recommended to me a long time ago." Anna turned to the door as the cab stopped. "I don't suppose you'd be kind enough to pay our fare?"

"I think I could write it off as a business expense." Talbot shook James's hand. "It's been a sincere pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kent, and I do wish you both the absolute best in your future preparations."

"And that they're not ruined by another assassination attempt?" Anna waited for James to open the door, stepping out and speaking to Andrew as Anna leaned toward Talbot. "Did you really know she was here?"

"I suspected. She's been seen on the Continent a bit in the last ten years and I thought she'd stay there but I didn't think she'd come here."

"She was never my enemy before."

"Things have changed Anna." Talbot helped her from the cab. "Perhaps there are other changes we need to consider."

"Such as?"

"The man who was following you." Talbot nodded at James. "Does he know about him?"

"I haven't seen the man since James went to Glasgow." Anna shrugged, "I think I was just paranoid."

"I know you better than that Anna. You don't get paranoid."

"Maybe I should." Anna shut the door, keeping it as a barrier between she and Talbot. "And even if I saw the man again, I doubt he'd be a concern to my welfare."

"Why do you think that?"

"Do you remember what I said about the note?"

"The sensation?"

"With that man I get a sense of overwhelming calm. As if I could trust him with my life and be alright." Anna managed a small smile. "It's just a gut instinct."

"Don't always trust those."

"You taught me to trust them."

"Then maybe I was wrong." Talbot opened the door for Andrew to join him, "I'll keep in touch Ms. Smith."

"I wouldn't expect anything else."

Anna joined James on the pavement and he led them into her house, leaving the sergeant behind. They paused, looking at one another, and Anna nodded for James to open the door. As they did, the tumult started.

It took an age to get through the questions, to endure all the examinations, and then to suffer through a barrage of interrogations that alternated between the worried cries of Anna's mother, the enraged blusterings of James's father, and the frantic recitations of Anna's father. Each time they went to answer a question, James kept it open and vague with enough details to calm his father for a fraction of a second before the man rambled into hysterics again. Anna's mother only calmed when James assured her it was a fluke, even though his hand clamped over Anna's at the baldness of the lie. And when each parent had exhausted their concern- and themselves- Anna excused herself to her room.

She left Daisy outside the door, slumping against it for the half second it took to breathe out before throwing the lock in place to make sure no one could enter. As Anna turned toward her room she realized her mistake. No one could enter from that side.

John stood there, silent as ever, with the window only opened a fraction beside him. Anna did not drop his gaze as she removed her ruined gloves and started untying the bindings on her dress. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard what happened and I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Are you here to tell me that you didn't know he'd send Edna?"

"Braithwaite wasn't someone he'd send on his own."

"So he trusts you with his plans now?"

"He-" John stopped himself, shaking his head. "Why do I bother? You left that life behind, as you reminded me. Whatever we suffered there, what we suffer now, is nothing to you."

"I never said." Anna leveled a finger at him, glass dropping from her clothing as her dress hit the floor. "Don't put words in my mouth."

"You know what he does. You know what he tried to do to you."

"He broke me like all the rest. Let's not pretend I was so special."

"But you didn't stay like all the rest." John risked a step toward her and Anna did not back away. "You kept a piece of yourself. That's what saved you."

"Not enough it seems." Anna let down her hair, combing carefully through it to try and extract the last remains of glass. "Mr. Talbot wouldn't have found me such a competent student if I stayed aloof from everything there."

"What do you remember?"

Anna let her arms drop, her hair tangled and dangling over her shoulders. She pushed past him to the vanity and took a brush to it, careful to let pieces of glass fall onto the shiny surface instead of onto her carpet to be lost in the weave there. "Flashes. If I remember anything it's muscle memory. It's the routine dug into my bones that my body remembers but my mind blocks. It's… It's nothing I can't try and make myself forget."

"But you've tried and somehow it still makes it's way through." John put a hand on her shoulder and Anna flinched but did not remove it. "That training can help them. We can save those he wants to turn now."

"So what? We stop them becoming members of the Black Hand or other groups he hopes to siphon for money?" Anna paused, pressing her palm to her forehead as a pounding behind her eyes intensified for a moment. After a few breaths it ticked back and she shook herself. "I'm done with that. I'm done with whatever you're trying to stop, or trying to stop him or-"

"If you were done you wouldn't have told Mr. Talbot you'd help his investigation." Anna stopped, meeting John's eyes in the mirror. He only shrugged, "No one thought to look at the cab driver's face did they?"

"You've been driving a cab?"

"I drove that cab. The same cab where you refused to tell Mr. Talbot my name." John clacked his teeth together. "You also failed to mention me to your fiancé."

"He doesn't need more on his plate. The poor man just got shot at."

"And you weren't?"

"I'm used to it." Anna turned to face John full on. "What do you want from me?"

"To remember."

"It was a dream, John. I made it up when I was delirious or mad or any number of other things."

"You know that's not true."

"I don't." Anna let her voice break, her hand holding the edge of the vanity as her brush clattered on the surface. "I don't know what's true anymore. My whole life is a series of carefully constructed lies and I…"

She sank to her knees, the weight of the day and the last two weeks dragging out every emotion until all she could do was weep. His arms wrapped around her and unlike in the cab, when James's comforting embrace had been the consoling affection of a good friend, this was the hold of someone who knew. Someone whose pain was as deep and abiding as her own… as was the fire.

Anna tilted her face to look at John and let her fingers trip their delicate way up to cup his cheek. The moment their eyes met this time the swift crash of their lips was nothing but prologue. John's pose adjusted so Anna could straddle him on the floor of her room and even when the brief threat of those just a floor below crossed her mind, Anna did not allow their lips to separate.

Instead, her legs spread to hold at either side of John's hips while her fingers desperately opened the buttons on his shirt. His arms, holding around her so her body pressed into his, unlatched his cuffs and Anna pushed the fabric from his shoulders so her hands could trace and adore the skin of his chest before her. The shirt drifted to the floor and John leaned back.

Between them he managed to straighten himself out so Anna sat right at his hips and ground into him with each change in direction as they kissed. Their sounds buried in the other's mouth or sucked from them with fervor as they tried to move closer while keeping as quiet as possible. Anna let her hands touch all over him, shying away from the edges of the scars at his sides to focus on the reality before her. The reality of John before her.

His hands were not idle. Her breath could fill her lungs with each tug of her corset strings to loosen them and soon Anna unclasped the set to fling it away from her. Each caress of his hands on her skin left another sound in his mouth and she twisted into his hold to better feel the knead of his fingers. The deep digs of his fingers into her thighs, her sides, and her breasts set her alight until Anna broke the kiss to pull her chemise over her head.

John's hands immediately found their preferred place on her breasts and Anna guided his fingers where she wanted them. Her eyes fluttered closed, basking in the sensation of his careful work on her skin before she recognized he stopped. Their eyes met and Anna tried to move out of his grip when his fingers traced the scars on her.

But he held her steady, sitting up to hold her gaze while he tracked each one over the skin of her back. Anna could not look away from his eyes, losing herself there as her fingers matched his motions until they both reached the rise of material at their hips. John lifted his hips and between the two of them they let his trousers and pants slide from his legs. Before Anna took her position back, John's able fingers freed her from the confines of her knickers, garters, and stockings.

There they were, on the floor of her bedroom, and Anna could only grasp his wrist to lead his hand to her core. They did not speak or kiss or even breathe as John let his finger slide over her. When he added two, massaging and spreading her, Anna let her breath hitch but did not look away from him. And with each successive motion that eventually left her trembling in his arms, the only sound Anna uttered was his name.

Her hand, loosening its grip at his shoulder, pushed him back to the floor. When he lay back, shifting to find comfort on the thin rug, the motion brushed his hard erection against Anna's sensitive center. She hissed and then sank down as swiftly as she could to stop the hint of a smile on his face.

John bit back his groan and Anna laid her lips over his to swallow any further sounds. She rolled her hips over him, the sink of him striking so deeply inside her it forced her eyes closed. Anna dug her fingers into the skin of his shoulder and tightened all the muscles in her body to better grip him.

But her hold on him only lasted a moment as his hands turned to bringing her over the edge with him. His fingers pressed at her nerves, taking every advantage of the sensitivity of her recent climax to explore the minutest of sensations that made her breath hitch in her chest. And when it was not his fingers at her clit it was his hands and lips taking advantage of her exposed breasts.

Anna used her knees at his hips to control her sliding motions, keeping the bobbing maneuvers reflective of the few times she went riding. With each snap of their hips together she rotated her hips to tweak the gesture. When their eyes finally met they realized the game they played was first to the finish.

Which Anna won when she leaned into the frantic rubbing press of John's fingers as his body gave the last shuddering ruts. They entwined until their breathing eased and their movements slowed to nothing. Her arms shook but would not release their hold on his shoulders, even as he slumped back onto her floor.

They lay there together, Anna stroking over his chest and John's fingers idling at scars on her, until someone knocked on her door. Anna lifted herself, crawling to her bed to snatch the dressing gown, and put her finger to her lips to stop John making a sound as he snatched his clothing out of sight and ducked between the bed and the window. She checked he was entirely hidden and opened the door a crack to see James.

"I'm sorry." He nodded at her, "I just thought you should know that I'm leaving. My father's beside himself trying to think of a way to get those photographs and I think it's better he brood in our own house."

"Probably best." Anna smiled at him. "I'm sorry. I laid down and fell asleep. I didn't mean to leave you alone down there."

"Completely understandable." James leaned forward and Anna mimicked his motions to kiss him. Her hand on his face felt as cold as the emotions she could not put into the kiss he gave her. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes. Good afternoon James."

"Good afternoon Anna."

She shut the door and went back to the bed but John was gone. His clothes and all traces of him had vanished and the window even sat at the same slightly propped level as before. Anna put a hand to her head and sat on the edge of her bed as the pressing at her temples returned.

This time she gave over to it and when the pain overwhelmed her, she fell back onto her bed to let the darkness swallow her.


	6. The Reality of the Island

_"_ _What is your name?"_

 _"_ _Cotton."_

 _"_ _Our records say your name is Smith."_

 _"_ _They're wrong. My name is Cotton. Mary-Anne Cotton."_

 _The slap stung her face and before she could wait another moment, another slap rang in her ears and through the skin of her previously untouched cheek. "What's your name?"_

 _"_ _Cotton." Another slap. "Mary-Anne Cotton."_

 _Another slap knocked her sideways off the chair and she barely caught herself on the floor. Someone's foot impacted her side and the repetitive shout of their questions echoed and rebounded off the walls until all she could hear above the sounds of her body taking a beating were the same words._

 _"_ _What is your name? What is your name? What's your name?!"_

* * *

She opened her eyes, sitting up on her bed and holding at her cheeks. But they were as cold as ever and the residual pain was nowhere to be found. A swift self-examination over her entire body revealed no bruises and Anna sighed in relief before checking over her room. Blinking in surprise and climbing out of bed to check more thoroughly, she snorted a laugh at clothing removed from her floor.

"Swift service." Anna turned her head to see Gwen coming through the door. "We're very good at what we do."

"As I've learned." Anna shook her head, "I don't know why I'm not more accustomed to it. I've lived with it for the last ten years."

"But your father didn't hire me to head his household until last year." Gwen shrugged, "And you've been rather occupied with your upcoming nuptials."

"That's no excuse for losing my head."

Gwen bit at her lip and Anna caught sight of it out of the corner of her eye. "Yes? Is there something you want to say?"

"It's not really my place to say anything at all Miss Anna."

"You're the only one who's not walking on eggshells around me so I do hope you're not about to go on pointe right now either."

"I never took ballet."

"Neither did I." Anna sat on the edge of her bed and motioned Gwen forward. "Will you please tell me what's on your mind?"

"It's…" Gwen almost whistled as she blew out the air in her lungs. "It's difficult to put into words since I don't even know if there are words for it."

"I can promise you that there are words for everything." Anna nodded her on. "Please, just use whatever words you have and be as frank as possible. I'm not delicate I'll break with a few less than polite words."

"I think, Miss Anna, that there are two… maybe three, good reasons for why your head's not been in the right place."

"What are they?"

"First, I don't believe you actually love Mr. James Kent."

Anna gave a little chuckle, "So far you're doing remarkably well."

"Then you don't love him?"

"James and I agreed to this arrangement because we respect one another and we realize that we're both in rather tight spots if we don't." Anna put a hand on her chest. "I'm still an oddity at social functions, despite time and tide, and James is… Well, he's had a few rumors spread about him that he'd rather put to rest with a marriage to a young lady like myself as soon as possible."

"But…" Gwen cringed, "Does he know that you're not…"

"Not what? In love with him?"

"Not a virgin, miss?" Anna blinked as Gwen hurried to continue. "I grew up in a very small house with five younger siblings. I know a thing or two about how… It all works and I know that you've entertained a man in this room twice. Daisy might not know how to describe the scent on the air or the odd marks on the sheets but I know them."

Anna stood and went to the window, pulling at her fingers before turning on a pivot to face Gwen. "You've not told anyone, have you?"

"Of course not." Gwen made as if to step forward but held herself back. "Only Daisy had any questions about it and I quickly put them to rest. No one else in this house knows a thing about it."

"Good." Anna shivered, "It was… I won't say a mistake but it's in the past now. It won't be happening again."

"But you didn't…" Gwen took a deep breath, "You didn't bleed. Daisy would've died of shock had there been blood there and you didn't bleed, Miss Anna. That leads me to suspect that you-"

"You're not wrong." Anna took a breath of her own. "I… I didn't return from my missing year unscathed. And while I can't say what happened I know that much is true."

"Were you…"

Anna shrugged, "I honestly don't know."

"Which brings me to my third possible reason for why you may not be entirely engaged in…"

"Life?"

"Your words Miss Anna, not mine."

Anna laughed, "I'll accept them as my words. What's the third reason?"

"You don't remember what happened to you." Gwen opened a hand to her. "How can your mind focus on anything else when you can't even remember parts of your own life? How can we give any of ourselves to others if we're not in possession of ourselves?"

"You, Gwen Dawson, are one of the most philosophical people I've ever had the pleasure to speaking to before breakfast." Anna sighed, "What do you suggest to solve my three problems?"

"Choose one that you can solve now and answer it."

Anna blustered a second and moved from her bed to the vanity as Gwen pulled out a selection of dresses. "The second problem's solved itself since the… gentleman in question has already left."

"Was he someone important to you?" Anna met Gwen's eyes in the mirror as she dabbed cream on her hands.

"Yes. From what I can remember, he's very important to me but I…" Anna winced, pressing her fingers to the spot above the bridge of her nose until the thudding behind her eyes stopped. She blinked and looked up, frowning and rubbing furiously at the dab of cream caught on her forehead. "From what I know, I think he helped me significantly and I somehow let him down."

"But he's not coming back?"

"I've told him I've no interest in helping him do whatever it is he's here to get my help to do."

"You didn't even ask him?"

Anna shook her head, pointing to one of the dresses through the mirror, "That one and no, I didn't."

"Can I ask why or would that be out of place for me?"

"I told him no because I wanted to move on with my life. To stop being the 'Moor Cretin' or the feral child or any of the other things that haunt me. I wanted…" Anna dropped her hands to her lap, "I wanted to pretend none of it happened and move on with my life as if it was all better than it really is."

"We all like to live in a place where life can be better for us than it really is." Gwen brought the dress over and laid it on the edge of the bed before taking Anna's dressing gown. "And the first problem?"

"I don't plan on breaking my engagement with James. He's been very good to me and considering he survived an attack on his life just yesterday I think it'd be rather poor payment to cancel our engagement."

"But you don't love him."

"And he doesn't love me, not in that way." Anna sighed, holding out her arms as Gwen helped her position the corset. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"

"I do hope you're not going to give me a Sunday School lesson as to why I shouldn't have if I confess that I did."

Anna snorted, "You've already discovered that I'm not a virgin Gwen. It'd be in rather poor taste for me to think anything of you if you said you had."

"Then I'll tell you that I've kissed my share of men." Gwen ducked her head as she tightened a lace on Anna's corset but she caught the blush of red over the ginger-headed woman's cheeks.

"Have you got a man?"

"I might have." Gwen straightened. "He works with your father at the bank and he's been rather enamored with me on the few soirées your father's thrown here. We've… Had a few conversations about my work and been writing each other rather frequently."

"Is he the one helping you with your correspondence course?"

Gwen nodded, "He's also the one who's been helping me find potential interviews for once I finish and qualify as a secretary."

"Is he the man you've kissed most recently?"

"He's the only man I've kissed since I turned eighteen." Gwen shrugged, "When I was young, and a bit more foolish, I thought the kisses you shared with local boys or with the footmen were great fun but kissing John is…"

"What?"

Gwen frowned, "His name's John. John Harding."

"Sorry," Anna put her hands on her hips and tried to ease her breathing. "I forgot how common a name it is."

Gwen's hand went to Anna's arm but she withdrew it almost immediately. "Is his name John as well?"

Anna nodded and then shook herself. "But we were talking about your kisses and your John, not mine." Her brow furrowed, "No, he's not my John."

"Sometimes people are still ours, even if we think we've lost them." Gwen handed over Anna's stockings and set to taking the dress off its hangers while Anna pulled the stockings high up her legs to clip to her garters. "But my John's a rather good kisser and I must say I enjoy it. It's interesting, when there's a mustache involved, because you never think you'll enjoy the bristle brush hanging on the upper lip but…"

"You do?"

Gwen shrugged, "I find I don't mind it as much now. He's uses a very good oil to keep it soft and he trims it so he's well groomed."

"But when you kiss him," Anna leaned on her knees, "You feel something don't you? Something like…"

"Like a fire in your belly Miss Anna?" Anna nodded and Gwen gave a little smile. "It's more than just passion or wanting to take them in the marital way. It's like you want to bind their soul to yours."

"Exactly." Anna sat back, her hands gripping her knees and then using the leverage to force yourself up to her feet so she could step into the dress. "I don't feel that with James and I think he feels something I don't."

"Men, in my experience, are far more about the sensation than the emotions… at first." Gwen paused, "I once met a perfumer who was convinced that a woman could be seduced by the scent of a man while he was seduced by the appearance of a woman. It's why they wander… according to him."

"Because of the way women look?"

"Easily distracted I guess."

Anna shook her head and adjusted in the dress so Gwen could help her with the buttons down the side. "And to think we allow easily distracted men to lead the country. It's almost criminally irresponsible of us."

"Very." Gwen agreed, her slim fingers easily managing the rest of the buttons and laces on Anna's dress. "But you don't feel an attraction to Mr. James."

"No and I think he knows it but, at the end of the day, the marriage bed isn't really about women's pleasure so as long as he finds the satisfaction he desires I doubt he'll complain too much in that regard." Anna sighed, eyeing herself in the mirror before taking her seat. "A bit tighter with the bun today I think. But leave some hair loose for ringlets. My mother would hate me to look the prude."

"I think she'd say 'spinster' and rather you continue in your prudence."

"Then we'll not ruin her day by confessing my less than prudent behavior." Anna sighed, "Which brings us to the third possibility."

"Setting your mind right?" Anna nodded in the mirror as Gwen set to work on her hair. "That I don't know much about except for the sensational stories one reads in a penny dreadful or the articles and advertisements in ladies magazines."

"Then it's a good thing I've already got someone in mind."

"You know a doctor for the mind?"

"She's an alienist from America. One of the boroughs of New York, specifically but I forget which one." Anna paused, "She left after a jury proved her innocent of murdering her husband when they ruled the case self-defense."

"She killed her husband?"

"From what I remember he tried to kill her first." Anna stared at her reflection in the mirror. "She's not a very conventional doctor but I guess you could say that of most Americans."

"Lady Grantham seems well enough."

"Money, in America, is the same as nobility here and therefore there are differences in manners." Anna drew her finger along the stain in the vanity as Gwen finished pinning her hair in place. "Perhaps I should go to America."

"Any particular reason?"

"I wouldn't be so feral there." Anna snorted, "I could get on a train and go west to find a cowboy or something. Maybe live with one of the Indian tribes and find peace there where no one knows me and I don't feel like I'm pretending to be someone or something I'm not."

"What do you believe you're pretending to be, Miss Anna?"

Anna met Gwen's eyes in the mirror. "Normal."

* * *

"I'm sure you remember, Ms. Smith, that there is no 'normal' here." Anna placed her gloves carefully atop her handbag and kept her ankles crossed under her skirt as she stared down the woman on the other side of the table. "Your reactions, be them what they may, are to be free what you need them to be. There are no restraints in this room and we don't stand on convention. It hinders my work more than helps it and if you feel you can't be free with yourself, your mind, or your emotions than I'll remind you that the door is behind you. You can leave at any time and if you want that, the sooner the better o you waste less of mine."

Anna flicked her gaze toward Talbot at her right but he only shifted in his chair, rearranging his long legs to fold one over the other knee. "She's not changed much in seven years."

" _She_ is right here." The woman drew Anna's attention again. "Mr. Talbot's not here for him and so all of your questions or concerns should be addressed to me, where they'll do some good."

"You don't think Mr. Talbot's got anything to offer?"

"He offered you my services, again, despite the way you refused them last time." The woman interlaced her fingers and rested her hands on her desk. "I am curious, Ms. Smith, what brought you back to my door when you were so adamantly opposed to returning the last time?"

Anna took a breath, "I'm not sure what newspapers you read but I'm engaged to be married."

"And you want to present someone whole and demure for your future husband?" The woman scoffed, "Women of this era. You're all so predictable."

"My fiancé is well acquainted with the rumors that circle me and he's none the poorer for that knowledge." Anna controlled her emotions. "As it happens, Doctor Seward, I've recently met an old acquaintance who's… He's caused certain old memories to crop back up and it's rather frustrating."

"Frustrating?"

"Frightening," Anna confessed, pulling at her fingers. "His presence has brought memories back to light that I thought… Or, rather, _hoped_ were buried forever. Things I don't know if I want to remember."

"What could prevent you from that desire?"

"Once I know what happened to me…" Anna swallowed and then met the brown-gold eyes of the woman across the desk. "If I remember what happened then I'm responsible to do something about what I know."

"That's bullshit and I think you know it."

Anna blinked, "I beg your pardon."

"If Mr. Talbot here," Dr. Seward pointed at Talbot, who unfolded himself to sit as straight as he could in the chair. "Has convinced you that you owe anyone anything then he's feeding you lies and you should spit in his face as much as look at him. Do more besides if he's pressuring you towards any action at all."

"You don't think I owe others-"

"The harsh truth of this world, Ms. Smith, is that no one owes anyone a damn thing." Dr. Seward sat back in her chair, her rather harshly cut hair framing her face to accentuate the lines there as if bringing attention to her experience and her demeanor. "Everyone will try to convince you that you do. For religious reasons, for personal reasons, and for selfish reasons but the matter boils down to people wanting things from you. Be it your time, your money, your attention, your help, or your self-respect. None of which they've a right to so they'll try and convince you it's something you already owe them to satisfy their greed for it."

"I don't understand." Anna almost looked at Talbot again but stopped herself. "If you're not interested in helping Mr. Talbot then-"

"I'm interested in helping you help yourself, Ms. Smith." Dr. Seward opened her hands. "I'm the instrument of your health, not the tool of the government to unlock what you know for their gain. I'm here to make you as well as you want to be and that's the beginning and end of my work."

"But if we owe nothing to no one then-"

"You've paid me for my services and therefore this is an exchange of goods." Dr. Seward put her hands on the arms of her chair. "You decide which and what of those goods you want and the rest I provide. It's as simple as buying a dress from your tailor's."

"The mind's not a dress, Doctor."

"No, but it is a part of the body and if a doctor of the body can set a bone then we can try and help you set your mind in order." She flipped open a book and readied her pen, "I'm ready when you are, Ms. Smith."

"Ready for what?"

"For you to tell me why you're afraid to remember what happened to you in the year you were taken." Before Anna could respond, Dr. Seward raised a finger in warning. "The mind, unlike the other bones and muscles in the body, will defend itself. That's why I need you to carefully consider why you're blocking your thoughts. It could be that your mind has chosen to protect itself. Unlocking that protection, delving into the mysteries there, could cause more harm than good and this fear you feel is an indicator of that."

"I could be stopping myself from feeling or remembering any number of things that I won't know until I try."

"Just keep in mind that not all locks should be opened."

Anna squared her shoulders and set her jaw. "I need to set my mind in order, Doctor, and this is the only way I know how to do it."

"Then why don't you want to remember?"

"Because then I won't be innocent." Anna finally confessed and it was as if a weight left her chest. "Then I'll remember if I did horrible things, if I hurt people, if I left what I truly loved to save myself."

"You're afraid you'll discover you were selfish and desperate?"

Anna nodded, "I'm afraid I'll remember exactly what happened and, somehow, I'll be complicit in it."

"That's the risk with life, Ms. Smith, and you live that every day." Doctor Seward reached under her desk and pulled up a phonograph. "I do hope you don't mind if I record this session on this. The wax spools'll help me remember our conversation better for next time."

"It's fine." Anna took a deep breath and made herself comfortable in the chair. "When do we begin?"

Dr. Seward set the nib to the spool and cranked the machine to start. "Now."

"When I first came here, seven years ago, it was at the urging of Mister… At Henry's urging. He thought I could use the help of an alienist to break through the barriers in my mind. Blocks that made the first few months back from… wherever I was difficult."

"Stop," Dr. Seward help up a finger and Anna widened her eyes at her. "You know the place where you were kept. You should say it."

"But I don't know."

"Ms. Smith," Dr. Seward leaned on the desk, her weight on her forearms and her chair squeaking slightly. "You traveled there twice. Once from your home and once trying to return to it. Since you didn't swim or fly then our only option is to assume you were taken there by boat. Boats need directions. Which direction did you travel and where did they take you?"

"I don't remember."

"You do."

"I…" Anna paused, pressing at the spot between her eyes as it thumped and throbbed again. "I don't remember."

"What's that?" Anna blinked at her and noticed Dr. Seward's finger now pointing to the spot Anna pressed on her forehead. "Why are you pressing there?"

"I get pains there, sometimes."

"How often?"

"Not often."

"Every time you try to remember what happened to you?" Anna paused and Dr. Seward nodded. "If I were to give you a moment to recall every time you felt that pain or those moments in your first year back that you felt the barriers in your mind, do you think you could say that pain accompanied each of them?"

Anna swallowed and then spoke, her voice cracking at first. "Yes. It happens every time I try to remember anything about what happened to me outside the flashes I get in dreams or when something happens to me that my body seems to remember but my mind refuses to acknowledge."

"Things like how some people touch you or a particular filter of light?"

"It was something I noticed in her training." Talbot volunteered and almost stopped at the withering glance Dr. Seward cast him for daring to interrupt. "Her body knew many of the moves I taught her. Not like a natural but like muscle memory. Honed and practiced until she could do it with her eyes closed or in her sleep if pressed to it."

"But not sleep she'd remember." Dr. Seward turned back to Anna. "Do you sleepwalk or have moments where you wake up and find yourself doing something you don't remember starting or even learning how to do?"

"No."

"When you try to remember details of your life during that year, like the location or direction, do you find the pain blocks you until you leave those memories alone and do something else?"

"Yes."

Dr. Seward glanced toward Talbot before asking her next question. "When you trained with Mr. Talbot, or any time you've practiced those skills since, do they feel rote to you but also relaxing. Like your successful completion or a form or your set will earn you're a reward?"

"Yes… I…" Anna stopped and then nodded. "Yes."

Dr. Seward made a note before interlacing her fingers on her desk again. "When I was in America I was contacted by fellow alienist there. She worked primarily with children and the disadvantaged but she and I both consulted with the New York Police Department and the hospitals in regards to the mentally unstable and the criminally insane."

She paused, as if choosing her next words carefully, "In the course of our consultations I encountered a man who had, by all accounts, been a born soldier. As Dr. Smith and I delved further," Anna's breath caught but Dr. Seward waved her surprise away. "She was before your time and it's a common name."

"Even so…"

Dr. Seward shrugged a shoulder, "Perhaps it's what drew me to your case. A certain… familiarity with the subject in question." She coughed, refocusing. "As I was saying, the man had served honorably in various conflicts until one day it was as if his mind fragmented."

"I don't understand."

"The man began reciting his name and rank, as verified by the United States Army, before presenting himself as someone else entirely." Dr. Seward paused, "A man who was believed dead many years prior."

"What happened?"

"We discovered, through a rather arduous investigation, that he was both men. His trauma had slit him into two conflicting personalities. One was the loyal and honorable soldier to his country, trained and well-tempered. The other was the feral animal only unleashed to commit great violence."

"And you believe my mind's fractured?"

"No." Dr. Seward shook her head. "I believe someone separated your mind. They made you believe one truth while suppressing another."

"What truth?"

"That you weren't Anna Smith. That you were someone else. The person they wanted and needed you to be. The person who could fight with Mr. Talbot or shoot a gun as well as you do." Dr. Seward met Anna's eyes. "The kind of person who could riddle a room full or bullets on command."

"Edna." Anna breathed and then pressed her fingers to her head. "No… she's Edna. I was… I was…"

A crack in the pain had her remembering her dream. "I was Mary-Anne Cotton. They made me Mary-Anne Cotton."

Dr. Seward nodded, "And so it begins." She readied her pen again, "Tell me what you know about your time as Mary-Anne Cotton, Ms. Smith."


	7. The Home in Her Mind

Anna swallowed, "I know that, at one point, I was questioned about my identity and they called me by my last name. Slapped when I refused to answer to it." Anna narrowed her eyes a moment, trying to slip past the block. "They wanted me to break and they… They beat me because I wouldn't."

"What 'they'?" Talbot's voice cut through and Dr. Seward hissed at him. "Sorry. I was just…"

"If you interrupt this session again, Mr. Talbot, I'll have to forcibly remove you from this room. Is that clear?" Anna did not hear his response but for the bend in his neck as it rubbed his collar. "Thank you. Please continue Ms. Smith."

"I remember…" Anna took a breath, relaxing her body to ease the triggering throb behind her eyes. "There was a lake. I'd sneak out and swim it at night sometimes. It's why I was such a good swimmer when they… When they had us race one another."

She opened her eyes, each bit of information cracking the wall in her mind. "They wanted to test how far we could swim, how long we could hold our breaths, hoe much noise we made when we did it. Like… Like they needed…"

"Stealth?" Talbot volunteered and Anna cut in before Dr. Seward could eject him from the room.

"That's it. They needed us silent, unnoticed, and completely invisible." Her breath caught in her chest. "All of the tests were like that."

"What kinds of tests?"

Anna shrugged at Dr. Seward's question. "I'm still trying to… Work it all out."

"Alright, we'll go about this a different way." Dr. Seward shrugged, "Poke the bear with a different stick and on the other side, as it were."

"I've been told one should never poke a sleeping bear."

"And I once heard someone say that the motto for their school was 'Never poke a sleeping dragon in the eye' but we're the curious and we're going to discover the truth."

"Even if it kills me?"

"Ms. Smith," Dr. Seward interlaced her hands on top of her desk in a motion Anna began associating with the alienist establishing a moment of authority so she could dispense her wisdom without interruption. "There are a great many things far worse than death."

"Such as?"

"The fracturing of your mind. The loss of yourself. The complete wasting of peace and serenity." The doctor paused, her eyes taking a misty haze for a moment as if she remembered those moments for herself. "The second we were no longer innocent children and saw the world for the dangerous and deadly place it is."

"Then you're saying that what I might find I mind is more terrifying than the possibility of death?"

"There are things we hide in our minds for a reason." Dr. Seward took a breath, "Things we hid there because we dreamed them or because they appeared in our nightmares. And sometimes we don't know what they are until we take the risk and go looking for them."

"When one goes hunting, Doctor, they usually have the luxury of a weapon." Anna lifted her hand. "Or more adequate preparation."

"You, Ms. Smith, have had more preparation than most." Dr. Seward opened her hands to Anna. "It's time to know yourself."

What if I don't like what I find?"

"Then you'll know the exquisite pleasure of reinventing yourself for a third time." Dr. Seward mused for a moment, "America would suit you well."

"Not sure I'm ready for the idea of cowboys." Anna shook herself and settled into the chair. "How do we poke this bear?"

"We treat it like an exercise." Dr. Seward opened a drawer and withdrew a pistol. Anna stiffened but Dr. Seward placed it on the desk between them and sat back. "Every three minutes you're going to dissemble this pistol. When you do, finish and point it as if to fire at the wall just behind my left ear. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Anna frowned, "How will this-"

"Begin Ms. Cotton." Anna blinked and reached for the gun on instinct. Her fingers flew over it, dissembling it and putting the pieces back together as if she did it a thousand times. When her finger pulled the trigger and the hammer clicked against the empty barrel, Dr. Seward spoke quickly. "How often did they have you field stripping your weapons?"

"Once in the morning, once at night, and twice during the day. First before shooting practice and then afterward. The slowest students received five lashes." Anna recited and then swallowed, her hand shaking as it went to the spot between her eyes but nothing pounded there. No pain pushed and thudded behind her sockets or through her nose. "That was incredible."

"Again, Ms. Cotton." Anna took the pistol in hand again, smoothly working the pieces apart and together like a dance. "What happened in your swimming races?"

"I always won. I was the fastest swimmer and I could handle the waves of the North Sea. I grew up just off the coast and I'd been swimming in them my whole life. They were nothing to me but they drown one of the girls."

Anna's hand shook as she set the pistol on the table. "Jane. She told me once that her name was Jane Moorsum. She had a younger brother, Freddie, and she missed him terribly." Anna looked down at her shaking hands. "I dragged her body out of the water but I was too late. I couldn't save her."

"Did they lash you for what you did?"

"I… I don't…" Anna went to reach for the pistol again as the pain bloomed in her skull but Dr. Seward put her hands over Anna's.

"I think that's enough for today."

"But… But we're making progress."

"And it's been tremendous but we don't want to break your mind." Dr. Seward removed her hand. "You said that one goes hunting with weapons and prepared to do it."

"Yes."

"I'm the weapon, Ms. Smith, and I'm prepared to help you." Dr. Seward managed a tiny smile. "I've walked this road before with many people and I can walk it with you."

"You're sure you're up to this challenge?"

Dr. Seward snorted a laugh, "My dear, the road varies slightly and each story is different but I know the bends well enough to manage."

"What if…" Anna twisted her fingers a moment before meeting the alienist's eyes. "What if what I have to say breaks me?"

"That's in your hands, Ms. Smith." Dr. Seward stood and Anna followed suit. "You chose what you'll do with what you find in there. I'm the navigator, not the captain of this vessel."

"What happens if the vessel decides to sail those uncharted shores between our visits, Doctor?"

"It will happen." Dr. Seward led Anna to the door, Talbot trailing behind them. "The mind's a tricky thing, subject to its own whims and fancies."

"Then it controls me?"

"The mind, Ms. Smith, was the only organ in the body to name itself." Dr. Seward held Anna's gaze. "What do you think that says?"

"Pride cometh before the fall?"

"This process, with the pistol," Dr. Seward motioned back to where it lay on her desk. "Set your mind in motion. There could be further triggers that unlock more of your memory or force your mind to wrap those memories tighter. There's not a definitive way to tell but I'd advise you not to press against that pain."

"The pounding behind my eyes?"

"It's a warning signal. It may be the product of your mind but any rodent living long enough in a house may feel like it belongs there."

Anna shuddered, "What an altogether terrifying image."

"Those are the ones that stick with us." Dr. Seward opened the door and waited beside it as Anna and Talbot crowded into the corridor. "Remember, be gentle with yourself. There is an emotional component to this, beyond just memory."

"Emotional component?"

"The part of yourself that chose to lock those memories away in the first place." Dr. Seward sighed, "I'm… I don't deal with that side of alienism as much but from the Germans I've studied, they say that many of our traits and practices are traced back to our emotions and the connections we formed early in life. That means that your emotions about what happened to you could act as a second layer of defense on your mind."

"How do I resolve that?"

"My guess would be to see resolution with how you feel about the events and find that peace to put your mind at ease." Dr. Seward shook her head, "But, as I said, I don't practice much in that side of my occupation."

"Thank you for the side of alienism you do practice Doctor." Anna shook her hand and slipped to the side so Talbot could do the same. "Same time next week?"

"If you don't need me sooner, Ms. Smith." Dr. Seward matched her curt nod with a glower toward Talbot. "Mr. Talbot."

The door closed and neither of them spoke until they almost reached the entryway of the building, the thump of the stairs still echoing in the tight hall. Anna waited as Talbot retrieved his hat and coat before finally speaking. "I've a feeling you've got more to say than you're letting on."

"I've got a remarkable poker face."

"But you've already kept more quiet now than any other time I've spent in your company." Anna put a hand to his arm. "What's troubling you?"

"Besides the idea that there's a known assassin at loose in London with what could be a vendetta against you because you trained at the same camp?"

Anna scowled, "We've no proof of that."

"I know you knew her name. And not the name that she goes by for her assignments either." Talbot held up a finger. "You called her Edna and you referenced her in that session upstairs."

"If you're going to use what I say in those sessions against me than I won't invite you to them anymore."

"Anna," Talbot sighed, "Do you remember why I brought you here all those years ago? Why any of this happened?"

"You say it like it was half a lifetime ago."

"Just answer the question."

Anna nodded, "Of course I remember."

* * *

 _She shrieked and tried to crawl away but the circle of people did not move. She wrapped her arms around her legs, hugging them tight to her chest, and buried her head in the darkness there to mutter to herself. Muttering that drew more whispers and jeers from those around her. But she disregarded them and focused on the words._

 _"_ _I'm Anna Smith. I grew up near Scarborough and Whitby. My parents owned a sheep farm. My father's a banker in London now. We moved here for me. So I could… So I…" She shivered and started again. "I'm Anna Smith. I grew up near Scarborough and Whitby. My parents owned a sheep farm."_

 _Hands grabbed at her shoulders and yanked her to her feet. Without thinking, Anna grabbed one of the wrists and twisted hard. The man's elbow bent and she used her grip to bring his bent elbow against her kneecap hard enough to crack his arm in the opposite direction. He fell to the ground screaming and Anna blinked at the sight of bone protruding from his skin._

 _The other hands on her tightened and tore at her nightgown. Anna only spun with the hold to wrap herself around the second man. One arm went around his neck while her legs sinuously snaked around his waist to hold tightly as he tried to buck her loose. She grabbed the wrist of the arm bent under his neck and pulled toward her chin while bending at the elbow. Within ten seconds the pressure on his arteries starved his brain of oxygen and his knees buckled._

 _Stumbling off his back as he hit the ground face-first, Anna surveyed the onlookers. They chattered and whispered to one another, stepping back to give her more space like a performer about to put on a show, and then scattered at the sounds of sirens and shouts. Anna tried to react but hands grabbed her again. Hands that, when she tried, did not succumb to her motions before they cinched metal tightly over her wrists._

 _Tugging and pulling did nothing to loosen the grip and bite of the metal at her wrists so Anna improvised. Without a thought she forced her arms down past her ass and jumped into the air. The motion brought her legs high enough to touch her chest and almost knock against her chin but also allowed her hands to swing to her front. She landed on the ground with her fists raised and the two men formerly holding her between them gaping at her ready stance._

 _One of them drew a baton but a lankier man, fresh-faced with his waistcoat flapping, skidded toward them. "So sorry that I didn't warn you she would be here. It's a delicate situation and I should've told someone but I completely forgot."_

 _The two policemen standing there furrowed their brows in joint confusion as the man faced Anna. "I apologize for being so late. I thought I had more time than I did and then, you know, reports."_

 _His smile stretched his face, twitching a little before settling as Anna nodded. "Yes, reports. They do take an awful lot of time."_

 _"_ _But now they're done and we can go." The man took Anna's arm and attempted to walk her away from the policemen but both stepped in front of them._

 _"_ _She's not going anywhere. Not with as dangerous as she is." The younger one thrust his nightstick toward the man still moaning with his mangled arm and the other one slowly raising and lowering his back as he breathed through his unconscious state. "She's an animal is what she is."_

 _"_ _The Moor Cretin." The older one seethed, clicking his teeth and spitting near Anna's feet. "I heard about you. Child went feral and ran off to live in the moors of Yorkshire for a year. That was before the wolves and dogs kicked her back. They didn't like no bitch leading their packs."_

 _"_ _Gentleman I'll remind you that regardless of what you may think, this is a woman and she deserves our respect." The man removed his coat, draping it over Anna's shoulders to ease the shiver that ran through her body as the adrenaline dissipated to leave her standing bare foot in the wet grass in only her nightgown as her body and mind realized her condition at the same time. "Now Ms. Smith is in my charge and care so I'll see her safely home."_

 _"_ _We'll see her to the inside of a cell for what she's done to these here blokes." The younger policeman rolled the unconscious one onto his back, cringing at the sight of the man's saliva leaking from his mouth before turning to the man almost catatonic in pain. "Did she do this to you sir?"_

 _"_ _That bitch broke my arm." The man chanted and the younger policeman stood, waving over members of the flying squad as they brought a stretcher._

 _"_ _See, she's harmed these poor men and-"_

 _"_ _And I'm sure it didn't fail to escape your notice, Constable Bullock, that Ms. Smith's nightgown is torn. Torn as if someone grabbed her against her will and attempted to wrestle her to the ground." The man crowded Bullock back toward his older partner. "Now give me the keys to set her free or I'll see to it that you're monitoring sanitation crews until such time as I decide you've shoveled enough shit."_

 _"_ _You can't do that!"_

 _"_ _Can't I?" The man snorted, "What's my name, Constable Bullock?"_

 _"_ _Talbot?"_

 _"_ _That's right. And do you know who my aunt is, Constable?"_

 _He frowned a moment and then his face went lax. "Lady Shackleton."_

 _"_ _That's right. Now, for the simpler part of my family tree," Talbot crowded the constable. "Who is my father and what does he do?"_

 _"_ _He's in Parliament and he…"_

 _"_ _And he?"_

 _Bullock swallowed. "He's the head of the Home Office."_

 _"_ _That's right. Now," Talbot snapped his fingers. "I've not got all night to wait for you to firmly screw your head back over your ass, where it usually belongs, and I've not got the patience to remove your head from your ass if that's where you left it. So I'll need you to hand me those keys and get back to your regular duties. Are we clear?"_

 _"_ _Yes sir." Bullock handed over the keys and Talbot took them to quickly unlock Anna's wrists. "Will you be needing anything else tonight?"_

 _"_ _No but I'll make sure to mention you in my report." Talbot put a light hand on Anna's arm. "Time to go my dear."_

 _Anna fell into step beside him, skipping on her toes occasionally as shocks rippled through her feet at the cold or thistles. At one point she almost looked back but Talbot wrapped his arm over her shoulders and hustled her forward. "No time for that. Just keep moving and we'll get you all sorted."_

 _A cab waited for them at the pavement and Talbot helped her in before climbing after her. He whipped a blanket from under his seat and wrapped it over Anna before adding another one. Once he bundled her in a third he took back his coat and one of her feet. His hands, not quite as icy as her skin, rubbed and kneaded over her appendages while calling to the driver._

 _"_ _House of Mr. and Mrs. Edward Smith if you please Pratt." There was no response but for a snap of a whip and the harsh click of hooves before they set to the cobbles at a brisk clip. Talbot turned back to Anna and shuddered. "Never thought that would work but I guess they aren't holding the standard for constables as high as they used to. Bit of an idiot him."_

 _Anna swallowed, "Do I know you?"_

 _"_ _Not as yet. At least not personally." He extended one hand, the other still massaging heat and sensation back into her foot. "Henry Talbot. I work for the Foreign Office. Security Services, specifically, but we don't like to name drop the Secret Intelligence Services in mixed company."_

 _"_ _There's an office for Secret Intelligence Services?"_

 _"_ _Of course not." Talbot winked at her. "And you'll repeat that answer to anyone who asks. Understand?"_

 _Anna nodded. "What's that got to do with me?"_

 _"_ _Before your little…" Talbot faltered, "What were you doing in Kensington Gardens at this hour of the night, barefoot and in your night dress?"_

 _"_ _I don't know." Anna shook her head. "I remember going to sleep in my new bed and the next thing I clearly remembered was blinking to see a ring of people surrounding me."_

 _"_ _For what purpose?"_

 _"_ _I must've attracted them." Anna tipped her head back on the cushions of the seat. "It's not the first time I've walked in my sleep."_

 _"_ _You do it often?"_

 _"_ _Only since…" Anna bit the inside of her cheek. "It started three years ago."_

 _"_ _Yes, when you returned." Talbot changed feet and Anna sighed into his attentions. "I did hear a few rumors about the girl who mysteriously survived the moors. The feral child of the night."_

 _"_ _You must've heard more than a few stories if you were looking for me." Anna shook head at Talbot's open mouth. "Don't think I didn't follow your conversation from the moment you appeared in the park like my avenging angel. You were looking for me. Why I don't know but-"_

 _"_ _I can promise, to your parents' mutual disappointment, it's not because I'm smitten with you and seeking your hand as a lover pining from afar." Talbot paused, his fingers digging into Anna's foot hard enough to have her attempt to retract it and hiss at him. "Sorry. I lost my focus."_

 _"_ _And my foot had to pay the price of your negligence?" Anna took her foot back, soothing the throb of pain there. "If you're not some suitor from a distance than who are you and what do you want?"_

 _"_ _I want you to tell me about where you actually were and what happened to you while you were there." Talbot supported his elbows on his knees and interlocked his fingers so his chin could rest on them. "See, I've a theory about it all but I need a witness. Someone who can say definitively if I'm just shooting smoke or if there's really a fire where I think there is."_

 _"_ _What makes you think I know anything?"_

 _"_ _Because the Anna Smith who left Yorkshire to escape the monikers and the constant whispers isn't going to find peace in London."_

 _"_ _It's a big city. You never know."_

 _"_ _If you keep sleepwalking your way into parks and injuring the populace there won't be anywhere you can hide unless you want to cross an ocean and then lose yourself in a country where they don't speak English." Talbot settled back slightly. "Mind if I tell you my theory?"_

 _"_ _I could use a bedtime story."_

 _"_ _I've a theory that a man, formerly working in the more clandestine occupations of the nation, decided he didn't like where the government was going. He left and took his leave to some island in the North Sea. Some place he could be alone and stew about how everyone got it wrong but him. Everyone would see that he was right." Talbot held up a finger. "Everyone would see that sacrifices must be made and he'd be the one to make them."_

 _"_ _This doesn't ring quite as smoothly as the stories I heard on my way to sleep as a child." Anna sighed, "What is your point?"_

 _"_ _I think that man started kidnapping children to train them. Train them like soldiers only they were spies. Spies he could mold, shape, and bend to his will. Instead of men with their own thoughts and opinions they'd be frightened children taught to fear and love him in equal measure until he owned them like no general has ever owned any of his men."_

 _Anna shook her head, "If there's a point to-"_

 _"_ _What you did, to those men, took training. It took skill. Skill you couldn't have unless you trained hard to get it. Trained…" Talbot sucked the insides of his cheeks. "Trained with someone as ruthless as Nigel Green."_

 _"_ _Who?"_

 _Talbot sighed, "He was an Army general. He led an elite unit and had most of them transferred to work in security services. But they were loyal only to him and they took on brutal tactics. Those above him shut down his operation but when they went to get him, he vanished. His whole family gone like smoke in the wind. No matter how hard they tried they could not find him and none of his men would say a thing about him. They were his, through and through."_

 _"_ _And what does this have to do with me?" Anna gestured to herself, the blankets shuffling around her. "I'm no soldier."_

 _"_ _But you would be afraid. You would be terrified and searching for comfort in a foreign environment. You're smart enough to learn quickly and, based on your handiwork in the park, you took to it well enough."_

 _"_ _Took to what?"_

 _"_ _His training." Talbot insisted, groaning. "Nigel Green took his men with him. When they left the service they turned themselves over to anarchist groups, to anti-government organizations. They are trained soldiers with additional skills in stealth and attrition tactics. They know how to dismantle organizations and people. They're killers without a cause."_

 _"_ _If you're suggesting, Mr. Talbot, that I'm one of them then you're sadly mistake." Anna shivered slightly and winced, pressing at a throbbing pain between her eyes. "I ran away when I was fifteen. I returned two years ago and we just moved to London for a fresh start. That's all. It was… insanity but nothing more."_

 _Talbot held her gaze for a moment, "Do you tell yourself that like a mantra to keep yourself focused or because you actually believe it?"_

 _The carriage stopped and Anna shed the blankets, checking out the window, and opened the door. "Thank you, Mr. Talbot, for escorting me home. You'll have helped calm my parents' souls."_

 _"_ _What would calm them more is if you could tell them where you went and why." Talbot climbed out of the carriage after her, following her up the few steps to her front door. "If you could tell me where they took you. There are others there, right now, and they need to be found."_

 _"_ _You're welcome to search the moors for them."_

 _Talbot grabbed Anna's arm. "You and I both know you weren't in the moors for a year. You were somewhere else and I want to know where it is so I can help those still trapped there. So I can save them."_

 _Anna flicked her eyes to Talbot's fingers and then met his gaze. "I'd suggest, Mr. Talbot, if you don't want your arm to be just as unmanageable as that man from the park you'll remove your hand from my arm."_

 _Talbot released her, chuckling to himself. "You've got spirit and I admire that."_

 _"_ _I'm sure there's a great deal you admire but I'm going to leave it at that." Anna reached for the doorknob as Talbot spoke again._

 _"_ _What if I could train you? Teach you to hone those skills you obviously have and used them for your own good."_

 _"_ _And what good is that?"_

 _Talbot shrugged, "I've got a friend, an alienist, who could help you settle your mind so your nightmares won't drive you from your bed to sleepwalk anymore."_

 _"_ _I don't have nightmares."_

 _"_ _Then your happy dreams about riding in fields of flowers on an unsaddles unicorn were what took you to the park in the dead of night." Anna did not respond as Talbot nodded. "I thought so."_

 _"_ _Other than my mind, then." Anna folded her arms over her chest, "What else can you do for me?"_

 _"_ _I can train you. Train you to fight so it's not just your instinct but your informed decision. I can teach you to use various weapons so if whomever stole you away the first time ever comes back they'll be in for a surprise."_

 _Anna narrowed her eyes. "And what's in it for you?"_

 _"_ _The chance that, someday, you'll help me find out what really happened to you and rescue the others Nigel Green took."_

 _They stood in silence a moment before Anna gave a single nod. "I'll do it."_

* * *

Anna sighed, "I was so young."

"But no less brave." Talbot pointed back up toward Dr. Seward's office. "She's making progress with you. Were there was only pain and blocks before there are answers. There's hope."

"For me or for you?" Anna shook her head, "You don't understand, do you Henry? You've never understood."

"Understood what? That there are those being abused out there who need our help and we-"

"There are people being abused everywhere Henry." Anna thrust her arm toward the street. "On that very street there are those you can help. Why seek for the damned souls lost to us when our fellowman lies just below our feet, crying in agony for our help, and we pass them by? Why? Because there's more glory in a far distant calling?"

"No."

"Then why?" Anna stepped toward, ignoring the height difference to stand as nose-to-nose with him as she petite frame could manage by comparison. "Why is it so damned important to you that I help you find that island or those people or-"

"Because it was my father's idea." Talbot slumped toward a wall, his hand going through his hair to dishevel it. "He suggested it as an option for the waifs and orphans of the city to have their use to society. Those we could mold and train as our unwavering soldiers."

Anna blinked, "He thought-"

"My father wasn't one to consider the idea that man may be equal." Talbot scoffed, "He always said that man has never been equal, in the history of the world, and therefore we should accept that some things do not change. Some things are so far out of our control that all we can do is accept them, live with them, and use them to our advantage if we were lucky."

"Your father wanted to use children to his advantage?"

Talbot nodded, "He said that if life had given them nothing else to do, they could at least die for their country."

Anna stepped back. "You lied to me. For seven years you've lied to me."

"I didn't-"

"You made me believe this was a matter of interest. That you'd stumbled on this and now you wanted to put it right. That you…" Anna swallowed. "You only wanted to put a stop to what you believe is your fault."

"I just wanted to set the world right again."

"That's the thing, Henry." Anna gathered her things. "You can't set it right. The world is wrong. It's always been wrong and it'll always be wrong. There's nothing we can do but our meager part in it."

"That's what I was trying to do."

"Damn you for thinking you could take more than you deserved." Anna blinked at the tears threatening to roll down her heating face. "And damn you for trying to rope me into all this. For making me your pawn."

"You weren't my pawn."

"I'm the means to an end, Henry. Your end." Anna shook her head, moving carefully backwards toward the door. "You can rot in Hell for all I care. I never want to see you again."

"Anna! Anna, please just-"

But she already slammed the door behind her.


	8. Come Back, Come Back

Her body ached.

Ached from walking miles around the city in a mindless, circuitous route that led her nowhere and accomplished nothing but pinching her toes in her shoes and wearing blisters onto her heels. Ached from the weight of the memories that now hazed and flitted past her eyes like half-remembered dreams. Ached from the toll on her soul of everything until all she wanted to do was collapse on her bed and pray she could awake on that day, when she was fifteen and still be her parents' child, and hope this was all a particularly vivid nightmare.

Anna considered it a moment, the dangling reality of the thought so appealing. To go back and be the girl who wanted nothing more than to kiss the cutest boy in the village. Or to attend the fête with her friends and giggle together when the boys worked up the nerve to ask one to dance. Or stroll home in the easy sunshine from church. The girl who married in the same church and had a few children to play with in the garden or scold in the kitchen.

To be the girl who had never been taken somewhere far away. To be the girl who was not returned as someone else. If any girl even returned at all.

Instead she was that girl. She was the girl who could never fit right with her friends again. The girl who flinched and stiffened at the touch of anyone unfamiliar. The girl who reacted without thinking and caused more than one injury for which she could not account. The girl shamed to corners and the other side of the street by flicked gazes, whispered taunts, murmured conversations, and public jeers.

It blinded her to their looks now. She dismissed people who stared and gaped as if they were lampposts and found herself a ghost in rooms of people laughing. The connection, to life, was gone and all Anna had to show for it was an empty shell.

Her feet guided her home when her body could no longer stand. The repetitive clack of her shoes on pavement or gravel or even hard-packed dirt wore her down to mind-numbing thoughts that played on repeat in her mind until there was nothing left but the worn reel flipping and skipping as she reached her front door. A door flung open to receive her.

But whatever questions came at her, whatever inquiries the worried faces she could barely comprehend had, anna waved them off. Some lie they surely did not believe satisfied them as Anna detoured to her bedroom. Further interrogations brushed away with a wave of her hand and Anna realized she could not recall a single individual face or question from the deluge. Worse still, she found she did not care. Their concern could not touch her and she opened the door to her bedroom as if welcoming the darkness inside.

A flip of the lock left her alone. The muffled noises on the other side of the door faded away as Anna's forehead rested on it. Silence finally reigned in the house and in her mind as her breathing calmed. But as she pushed from the wood the hair at the back of her neck raised and a tingle in her fingers had her pivoting quickly to put the door to her back as a line of defense.

The tension immediately left her body as she beheld John, standing almost as sentry at the window where he always slipped in and out like a shadow despite his size. He belonged to the dark and owned it back. It was his friend and, for a moment, Anna wondered if it had ever been hers. If she too had been at home in the shadows and if they still beckoned to her now.

Swallowing past her thoughts, Anna began removing her accouterments and finally spoke. "Not as gone as I thought you were."

"You thought I left?"

"I was convinced our last…" She shook her head, unbuttoning her jacket to leave it hanging on the back of her chair. "I guess it doesn't matter what I thought. You're here now so you didn't leave and that means you must want something."

"Nothing new."

"So you'll rehearse your tale to me?"

"I'm sure you don't want me to bore you with a repetition of my earlier pleas." John shifted to half-sit on the windowsill but his body retained the 'ready' stance of comfortable tension in his limbs. "Neither of us could stand the disappointment again."

"I wasn't disappointed."

"You sounded relieved that I hadn't left."

Anna tried to snort but only crossed her arms in front of her chest as a defense. "I wasn't disappointed that you couldn't ask for my help again."

"We've never been gluttons for punishment."

"You're back so I beg to differ."

John stood and Anna held her ground, the tingle in her limbs not those of a sense for danger, as he approached her. "Then beg."

"I'll never beg you for anything."

"You did once." Anna grounded her teeth, "No, twice."

"It's not fair if I can't remember."

"I think you know them." John leaned his lips toward her ear, "I'm sure I could help you remember the first, if you asked nicely."

"I'm not going to ask anything of you either."

"You won't?"

"One favor begets another in return and I've no favors I want to give you."

"What a shame." John straightened, "I was looking forward to the possibilities before us should you succumb."

"I haven't time for this." Anna tried to pass John to reach her vanity but he side-stepped to block her. "I'll only warn you to move once."

"I'll not stop you if you want me to leave." John maintained his position. "But you've not asked me to move yet. You only implied it."

"Do I need to spell it out in small syllables and as few letters as possible?"

"No, just at all." John bent his head again, this time to whisper in her other ear. "If you want me to move, Anna, all you have to do is ask. I'd do whatever you asked of me. I always have."

Anna shivered slightly but held onto her self-control with every fiber of her dignity that she could scrounge at that moment. "I thought you wanted me to beg you for something, not the other way around."

The blood rushed in Anna's ears as John's tongue darted out to leave the faintest trace of a lick along the shell of the one closest to him. "There's time for both of us to beg." He drew back and Anna fought to breathe. "But only if you want."

Anna's hands clamped on his shirt and tugged him close enough to her that the turn of her head surprised him. He tried to maneuver but her lips seared to his faster than he could comprehend before surrendering to her assault. Almost on instinct her ankle hooked his and they toppled to the floor, barely missing hitting the footrest of her chair.

The landing said more for John's dexterity than Anna's as she threw herself at him, muttering over and over. "I want you. I want this."

It said more for John's character that he did not gloat about her begging. But the pleading in her voice only matched the furious run of his hands over her body. Her blouse opened to reveal her corset and John's lips broke from their adoration of her mouth to cover the skin forced up from the bodice. Anna clawed at his hair and scalp to bring him close enough to whimper when his tongue dipped into the cavity formed by the crush of her breasts forced to hide and parade themselves simultaneously. But they both sighed in relief as Anna extricated herself from her blouse and John's fingers proved their worth in freeing her from the corset.

His lips immediately settled on her breasts, despite the cover of her chemise, and Anna fought it loose from her skirt to give him access directly to her skin. The moan he elicited from her at the sensation of his lips on her bare skin gave them both pause. In the light of the gas lamps outside her window and the barest glow of the moon through the smog of the city, Anna finally looked at John's eyes.

Her fingers swept over his face, sliding through his hair as gently as she might touch a skittish horse, and settled at the back of his neck. Their foreheads touched and for a moment they breathed as one. All it took was the sweep of John's tongue over her lower lip and Anna immediately set to getting herself as close to him as possible.

They fumbled and fought to remove her skirt and knickers, the clothes piling haphazardly over the chair just beside them, and Anna dug her fingers into whatever skin she could reach on John to guide his lips where she wanted him. But he ignored her, grabbing at her hips to flip her onto her back on the floor. Anna winced at the strike then groaned low in her throat as John's lips covered her abdomen and hips in kisses and licks he teased between her legs. The catch and scrap of her garters and stockings on his clothing had them both wrestling the last vestiges of society from them so John's mouth could settle firmly on her sparking nerves. And when he finally did, he sucked hard.

Anna's hand flew out, knocking against the wooden feet of the footrest, and scrambled to hold onto something. All she could find was a grip at the back of John's head to force his tongue closer to her weeping folds and another on the footrest. That hold she quickly abandoned for the rug when the footrest dragged in response to her bucking tugs.

John's tongue wrapped her nerves, sucking and nipping at them, while his fingers worked two duties at once. One hand caressed through her folds and slipped in the slickness of her ready body to enter her. The other hand pushed her thigh over his shoulder and held at her ass to give him the control he needed to drag her to the edge of shattering pleasure. And with his focus she did shatter.

He only had a moment to gloat about it, licking up his mess of her before Anna's hands planted on his chest to drive him to the floor. The wind knocked partially out of him but it gave Anna the advantage she needed to straddle his legs again. Her knees dug into the unforgiving weave of the rug to grind herself along his leg as her tongue tried to mimic his earlier motions. Motions that had him bucking off the floor and begging in a strangled whisper for her to stop tormenting him.

Complying with his request was no surrender as Anna suckled to his tip, dragging her tongue along the underside of him, and shifted just enough to align them. Their eyes met again, for only the second time that evening, and she swallowed him whole. Both of them groaned as their bodies sank together until the bump of their pelvises signaled the end of them. Even Anna's spread legs and a bit of a twist only gave them a tough more depth.

But Anna used it. Used her position and the tingle of pain in her knees to ride John. Her hands ran over his chest with abandon, raking her nails when she needed a moment of purchase to hold back a groan, before surrendering to him again.

His hands were not idle either. They ran over her abdomen, fondled and held her breasts between rough kneads and gentle massages. His fingers tweaked and teased her nipples and nerves until Anna could barely contain the sounds he pulled from her throat. And when John's firm grip on her hip matched the swat to her ass, Anna only rode him harder.

The break in his control and hers came so close together it was hard to tell if one of them came first. All they had was the moment their grunts of completion echoed around the room before the sound dissipated into the night. They sagged together and Anna barely caught herself from falling onto John's chest.

A shuffle put them next to one another on the floor, the rise and fall of their chest exposing the cavity of their torsos before filling them again with air. It was the only sound in Anna's ears not pumped there by her thundering heart. That rush of blood eventually subsided and Anna piqued her ears to tell if anyone heard them. The house, she sighed with relief, remained gratefully silent.

"Why'd you come back?" She finally asked, staring at the darkness above them. Anna wished she could see the ceiling, focus on some small detail there to give her reason not to try and make out John's face in the darkness, but all that greeted her was the yawning maw of the shadows. "Why make another overture to me?"

"Why do you think that's what I was doing?"

"Because you're timing, thus far, has been impeccable in that regard." Anna's fingers brushed against his in the dark and while their hands did not intertwine, they settled together to remain touching. "What do you know?"

"I may've heard something in Mr. Talbot's office."

"How'd you get into Henry's office?"

"The same way I get into your room. Only I don't wait for him to see me and he never does." John's breathing almost stilled and Anna wondered if he was holding his breath in demonstration. "He's responsible for what happened."

"No, he's taking responsibility for what happened, there's a difference." Anna sat up, running her fingers lightly over her stinging knees to confirm the significant rugburn there. "But he's no longer my concern."

"You'll not help him either?"

"Not after he betrayed me." Anna wrapped her arms around her legs, holding herself up with her chin between her delicate knees. "He used me."

John's fingers traced over her back and Anna flinched a moment at the tingle of his finger in a barely understandable pattern. The scattered nerves on her back fritzed and lit with the touches between dead nerves and old scars. "They've all used you, Anna. Why was he different?"

"I thought he wanted to help me but he only wanted me to help him." Anna's back relaxed slightly as it accustomed to the gentle brushes of John's fingers. "It's why I can't go back with you."

"You said you were done with it all. That it was all just a dream as far as you were concerned."

"It is… sort of." Anna twisted, noting the shadowy contours of John's face in the dark. "But I visited an alienist, the same one Henry recommended years ago, and he found a way to help me break through the block on my brain."

"To what end?"

"To help me remember so I could put myself back together again." Anna caught John's hand, pulling it to her mouth to kiss his fingers. "I want my mind to be whole John. I wanted to remember but I was afraid to. Afraid of what I'd find I buried to protect myself."

"Afraid of who you were?" Anna nodded and John sat up but did not take his fingers from her. "You could've asked me."

Anna shook her head. "I was afraid and I won't."

"Why not?"

"Because if I know then I'll be responsible. I'll feel obligated to help you and…" Anna stopped, blinking at the tears threatening at the corners of her eyes. "I can't go back John. I can't… If I go back then I'll become whatever I was there."

"You won't."

"I will." Anna insisted, shuffling so their knees knocked together but she faced him head-on. "I don't know who she was, who I was, but I know she's not me and I won't let her take over me again. I don't want to be her. If I go back there I may never get myself back from her hold."

John's free hand came up to cup her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek. "You weren't like the rest of them, Anna. You were never fully the person they wanted to make you."

Anna dipped her head, shaking it as the sobs pulled from her chest. "I know I pulled Jane's body from the water when she drown. I know that they beat me to try and break me but I didn't. I told them I was Mary-Anne Cotton. I know that I was the fastest swimmer, that I assembled weapons four times a day. That I…" She lifted her head to look at him. "I know that someone violated me. I can't bear children now because of what… he did?"

"It was a he."

"Who?"

John nodded. "Green."

"But he's-"

"Not Nigel." John shuddered, his hands now covering Anna's, abandoning the hold on her cheek. "He always insisted that you were for training and nothing could distract his agents."

"Then who-"

"Alex, his son." John's teeth ground together so loudly Anna worried he might break them in his jaw. "It's why Edna's here. She wants to kill you for it."

"What?"

John took a breath, "Edna always loved Green. Or was infatuated with him. I don't think she had a bone in her body that understood love, conniving bitch that she was. But whatever she had, she had it for Alex and she wanted him but he only wanted you." John's body shook with what Anna recognized as suppressed rage but John continued and his hands never tightened on hers. "Alex was a sadistic bastard himself. He'd use his power over all of you as much as he could but his father was strict on the rules about fraternization and if there was one person in the world that Alex was afraid of, it was Nigel."

"What happened then?"

"Nigel went somewhere. I only know because I helped organize the boat but I don't have a clue where he went when he left the island." John sighed and some of the tension dropped from his shoulders. "Alex was careful, at first, but he got a bit more bold and decided he'd test his boundaries."

"With me?"

John nodded. "You didn't want it. You didn't want him."

Anna slipped one of her hands free, putting it on John's chest. "I wanted you."

"Yes." John's body took on a note of hope and he covered the hand at his heart. "You gave your… I was the first person you ever had and you were mine."

"Were we any good?"

John snorted, "We fumbled a bit but it was… It was beautiful. And we got better at it."

"Did Alex know about us?"

John shook his head, "No. I think he knew you didn't love him but he didn't care. It was all about control and power for him and he… He used it."

"On me?"

There was silence a moment before Anna recognized the shine on John's face were the tracks from tears to mirror those on her face. "I got there too late to stop him. I couldn't… You were sobbing on the floor, huddled around yourself in the fetal position and I saw red." His voice caught and Anna tried to get closer to him, to embrace him but he fended her off. "He was laughing, Anna. Laughing about it and I couldn't stop myself. I beat him nearly to death and wouldn't killed him with my bloodied and broken fists but his men pulled me off him."

"What…" Anna swallowed, "What happened then?"

"I was held until Alex got better. Nigel was back by then and he believed my story, beat Alex black and blue for what he did, but he needed to show the others they couldn't do what I did and get away with it." John's voice went flat, "They did to me what I did to Alex."

"How'd you survive?"

The smallest of sad smiles quirked the edge of John's mouth. "I lasted longer than that little twat because I thought about you."

"Me?"

John's eyes met hers, "I knew I'd done the right thing. That I would've killed him to protect you. That I would've died to protect you."

"Why?"

"Because it was the right thing to do and my mother taught me that those are the things you die for." John's bravado of the moment deflated. "But Nigel's dead now. Whether Alex killed him or the Reaper did who knows and who cares. All that matters is that Alex sets the rules now and he wants you more than ever."

"Because I got away?"

"Because he wants control." John reached his other hand forward, drawing along Anna's jaw. "He could never control you. Not the way he could everyone else."

"And he wants that?"

"Very much." The silence settled between them a moment. "But Edna's not happy about it. Not happy that the first thing Alex wanted when he took control was you back on the island."

"Were they…"

"As much as two selfish and morally corrupt people can be I guess." John shuddered. "It's more the idea that they're both evil and darkness begets darkness."

"It would explain why she already tried to kill me." Anna took a breath, "What else do you know… About before?"

"I only know what I saw."

"Which was?"

The bob of John's Adam's apple almost made Anna jump. "I wasn't like you all. I was there because my mother… We were taken hostage when our boat was seized and kept on the island because they didn't want to risk letting us go and my mother convinced them we could work. So we did and one of the things they made me do, to be 'useful', was to stand in to help you."

"Help how?"

"They'd have me train with all of you. It's how I'm as stealthy as you and as smooth. I can fight as well as you, shoot as well, and probably kill about as well as they trained all of you to but they never sent me out the way they did you."

"They sent us places?"

"I don't know the details and I don't understand what all happened or what I saw but, now, I think those who left were commissioned or on assignment. And when some of them didn't come back…"

"Assassinations." Anna whispered, her hands moving from John's to rake through her hair. "We were trained assassins."

"I don't know that."

"But I do." Anna's fist pounded at her chest, just above her heart as she stood up. "I feel it here. I killed… I kill…"

Her chest constricted and she could not breathe. The world and her room shrunk around her and Anna only saw black. Flashes of images, rooms, people, faces, and photographs ran before her eyes while the sounds of shouted commands, shots, gunfire, and the lap of the sea rang in her ears. Her palms slapped to her temples in an effort to drown out the noise but her balance shifted and she almost fell.

Hands held her steady and the world clarified in the form of John. The shake of her body and the quiver in all of her muscles calmed under his touch and soon Anna sagged into him, burying her face on his bare chest. "What was I? Who was I there? What did I become?"

"Not the monster you think you did." He soothed, his hands running counter massaging motions over her back. "You never killed anyone."

"How do you know?"

"Because you hadn't passed training and you never left the island." John pulled back enough to look at her. "I was there. You were only there a year."

"But Edna…"

"Didn't qualify until after you left." John removed his hands. "You never killed anyone Anna. You don't have to worry about who you were on the island because you were yourself."

Anna frowned and gaped as John gathered his things. "What are you doing?"

"Normally," John held his clothing in his hands like samples of the shadows around them. "This is the point when I leave because it'd ruin your reputation to stay and I know you're trying to be someone new here."

"You say that like it's a bad thing to move on with my life."

"It's not who you are." John jerked his head around him, gesticulating with his clothing-filled hands. "This isn't you. None of this is you. It's who they want you to be and that's a lie."

"I'm not that girl from the Moors." Anna stiffened, "Or whatever island we were on together. I'm not that."

"And you're not this either."

"Says you."

John snorted, "Yes, I do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've not got a damn clue who you are." John pointed to the floor, "You just had to have me tell you that you never killed anyone because you didn't remember. You didn't know that about yourself and yet you'll claim, to me, that this is who you are."

"It's who I'm supposed to be."

"Those aren't the same things Anna."

"What would you know about any of it?" Anna scoffed at him, turning to get her things and move to the door. "Don't let me stop you."

A moment later she pressed against the wall, the form of John pressed close. Part of her wanted to fight him off, to claw loose and make him regret moving toward her. But another part of her noted the rise of his arousal at her ass and the swift push of his chest against her back as he panted in her ear.

"Stop me doing what, Anna? Leaving?"

"It's where you were headed."

"Did you want me to leave?" He ground against her and Anna closed her eyes, whimpering into the wallpaper. "Did you?"

"No." She brought her hands up, holding to the paper as if clawing it free of the wall might give her a moment of sanity. "I don't want you to leave."

"But you don't want me to stay and remind you."

"I… I don't know. I don't know what I want."

"I'll make it simple then." His weight pulled off her but the het emanating from his body still radiated around her. "Do you want me?"

"Yes."

"Like this?" He ground against her and Anna moaned.

"Yes."

"Is that a request?" He licked and then dragged his teeth on her ear. "Or are you begging me?"

"Begging." Anna thrust her ass behind her as if to encourage or reach him, she could not tell. "Please John."

"As the lady asks."

His hands settled at her hips, holding securely, and with a nudge of his knee her legs separated. The only cue Anna had to indicate John had any plans was the tightening of his fingers in her skin. Then he was inside her.

Unlike the floor, where she drove him mad first and determined to hold the advantage, John exercised merciless control. Their bodies shifted and slapped together as his teeth grated and grazed over her shoulders. She tried to press back against him, to guide him, but John did not heed her.

The vicious work of them together almost had Anna afraid someone in the house might hear them but no sounds came from the other side of the door. After a moment all she could comprehend was the movement of John against her, inside her, around her, and then through her. His fingers on her breasts, her nerves, her hips, and her arms until there was nothing that did not, in some way, lead her back to John. He was all she could comprehend.

They slumped against the wall as they came. Together, she wondered as her shaking fingers flattened on the wall sure to bear marks of their animalistic rutting there, or so close it did not matter. The rain of kisses over her shoulders as John glided free of her indicated the latter.

Anna turned and caught John's hand, stopping him from moving. Her back leaned on the wall, all her residual strength expended in the moment she took his hand, and she held his gaze. They stood in silence until Anna found the air to risk speaking in a whisper to him.

"Stay."

"I'll be seen."

"I don't care." Anna's other hand covered his, keeping him close to her. "You're all that's real. You're the only thing that… I don't…"

She took another breath, trying to organize the multitude of thoughts now bumping and jostling to escape her mouth first. "You're right. I don't know who I am. I'm not this, I'm not that, I'm…" All the air left her lungs. "I'm a stranger to myself."

"But not to me."

"Not to you." Anna smiled and found the energy to raise her hand to stroke his cheek. "Never to you. I need you. I need that kind of assurance that I'm not lost to myself. That I'm not a stranger to myself."

John turned his mouth to her palm, kissing it. "Alright."

"You'll stay?"

"Until dawn. Then I need to leave before an ambitious lamplighter sees me climbing out your window."

"They're an ambitious lot." Anna guided John to her bed, pulling down the covers to drag him in with her.

"What about your maid?"

"She knows about you." Anna rested her head on John's chest, her fingers idly stroking through the hair there. "Or she knew about you, when I thought it was over. So she'll know about you now."

"And she wasn't worried?"

"She was but she already figured the details of my… lack of virginity."

"What'll your fiancé say about it?"

Anna shrugged into the pillows, her fingers not stopping. "He won't care."

"Won't he?" John tipped his head down and Anna shook hers.

"He's not exactly… He's marrying me because there's a rumor that he likes men and he wanted to put that rumor to rest."

"Does he love you?"

"I think he's ambitious about the kind of relationship we can have and I think he likes women but…" Anna bit at her lip, frowning. "Can anyone who's not a peer-poet love men and women?"

"Something tells me Lord Byron wasn't special in his particular predilection." John sighed and Anna settled back on him. "But if your fiancé doesn't mind then…"

"It's not as if I could have children."

"You said." John's teeth clacked together. "Was it because…"

"A doctor, when I first got back, examined me. He referred me to a specialist that told me I now suffer from something called 'incompetent cervix' and said it's caused by trauma." Anna sniffed, wiping at her eyes and refusing to meet John's by keeping her cheek on his chest. "I asked him not to tell anyone and he kept my secret. He's the only other one, other than you, to figure out what happened to me."

"I wanted to protect you Anna."

"I know." She raised up, wiping at his tears as he mimicked the motion with hers. "I know."

This time, when Anna mounted him, it was slow. There was no race, like on the floor, to see who could own whom. There was no begging, like by the door, to encourage the moment of fierce passion. There was only the two of them moving in unison until they came together.

This time there was no question in Anna's mind.


	9. Build a House Around Her

Anna blinked at the light, wondering if she slept at all, and noted the tinge of gray to the room. The beauty of having John sleep at her side would soon be over. The evidence of their raucous display over the room would disappear as they assumed the roles forced to them again.

But there was still a little time. Time enough for Anna to note the scars over John's back in the low light. With his face turned away from her and his arms under the pillow cushioning his head with the softest of snores, Anna could trace the individual lines that crisscrossed and marred his back in patterns she assumed matched her own.

A tiny shudder through his body alerted Anna to John waking but she persisted. Starting at the shoulder closest to her, Anna traced each and every line until she reached the rise of his ass. There, with his measured breathing informing her he was quite awake, Anna laid her lips to reversing the task.

As she went she heard it. Soft at first but louder before muffling in the pillow, were the tones of John's tears. The sobs that wracked his body as Anna traced the pain laid visible on his back. Each one sparked an image in her mind and as John's cries continued into the material, her own heart lurched and urged tears from her until she finished.

His back, now shining from the spots where her tears fell, turned to the mattress. They stared at one another, the tracks of their tears shining on their cheeks as the glisten in their eyes matched with evidence of unfallen sorrow, until Anna bent to kiss John's lips. With no hurry and nothing touching but their mouths, they took the moment they needed to bask in the emotion of the moment.

Gentle fingers urged Anna onto her stomach and she watched John over her shoulder as he repeated the process on her back. First his calloused fingers walked over her scars and then his lips did. Each one rang like a hollow memory. A piece of herself she could only half-remember and could not place. Like dreams that felt real until the fug of sleep washed away in the morning.

John's fingers worked over her body as his lips continued to trace her scars. His gentle touches sent shivers through her and Anna barely noticed that his lips left her back to track a line over her shoulders and toward her neck. Her hair swept to the pillow and she arched with a soft sigh when John's other hand caressed the backs of his fingers over her breast.

She went to turn but the weight of his chest on her back kept her prone on the bed. The whisper of his breath past her ear sent a shiver through her and John only exacerbated it when his hand kneading the flesh of her breast. "Don't hide from me Anna. Please don't hide from me."

"How can I be hiding when you're the one who won't let me look at you?" Anna shifted on the pillow to see John's face over her shoulder. "And how can I hide when I'm as naked as the day I was born?"

"You hide these," His fingers stroked the lines down her back before slipping between her legs to run over her folds. "You do not allow anyone to see them. You confuse them with your eyes and your voice and everything they think will tell them the truth about you but it's all a lie."

"It's what they need."

"But what do you need, Anna?" John kissed along her jaw, his fingers moving deeper inside her. "What do I need to do so you don't have to hide anymore?"

"Just you." Anna nudged his chin enough to put their lips together. "Only you. It's only ever been you."

John did not answer. Instead he moved over her and slowly into her. She followed the guidance of his hands the whispers, moving as he directed and quivering at the reward when he sank deeply into her. The angle had Anna trembling at how tightly he moved inside her but soon buried groans in her pillow as John set a slow pace.

Not unlike their final experience the night before, there was no hurry or ferocity to this. Despite the general lightening of the room and the distant sounds of movement beginning over the house. The worries of the world did not affect them within the confines of the moment they wove together. Nothing could touch them there and they cared nothing for anything that might dare to.

Anna arched her back when John's lips set to tracking her scars again. Or, more precisely, the spaces between her scars. The nerve damage and hardened tissue felt nothing so her back was no more than a patchwork of delicate sensation. Sensations John encouraged in time with the hold of his hands. Between the kisses on her eager nerves, the hand he used to manipulate her breast, and the fingers he dragged over her clit, Anna was helpless against the onslaught of emotions that John urged from her with his experienced touch. So she gave over to it.

In the shuddering climax that left her almost sobbing with relief and vulnerability, Anna writhed against John to meet his finish. His arm tightened around her chest to keep her tight to him. The kind of motion her mind recognized in flashes from the times he protected her in the past.

They settled onto the bed, John sliding from her when their bodies eased through the end of their orgasms, and Anna pushed herself onto her side to face him. He blinked at her, his fingers running over the skin of her arms and then interlocking their fingers. She moved toward him with the gentle tug so he could kiss over her digits.

"I hope you don't regret it."

"What?" Anna blinked at him, confusion digging lines into her forehead. "What could I possibly have to regret?"

"All of it. Any of it." John sighed, letting their hands rest between them. "I might've unalterably sullied your reputation."

"And you think I'd regret that?"

"You've not been given much in life that doesn't spark regrets for you." John shrugged into the mattress. "I just hope you don't live to regret the part I might've played in any of them."

"I could never regret you." Anna slid the backs of the fingers of her other hand along his cheek. "Not ever."

"Never?"

Anna shook her head, "How can I regret you when the only thing I know for sure is that I am now who I was always meant to be?"

"They might say things about you."

"They already do and that was before there was a man sneaking into my room in the nighttime." Anna gave him a small smile, following the traces of stubble coming over his cheeks. "I don't regret any of it, you know."

"Me either." John's chest expanded with the intake of breath. "I know that I should but… How can I regret the fate that brought us together?"

"We might've been different."

"And then perhaps we wouldn't be the people who found they needed and loved one another?" John flicked his eyes toward the clock in the room and kissed the backs of Anna's hands before pushing himself up. "I'd best get going before the light gives away my escape."

"Yes, I would hate for someone to track your shadow to my bedroom." Anna sat up as well, watching as John wiped himself with the cloth on her washbasin before dressing. "Where will you go?"

"Perhaps, with your help, I could find something that might convince some interested parties to help me rescue those still on the island."

Anna drew up her knees, laying her arms over them to support herself. "How did he ever let you go?"

"After Nigel passed, Alex didn't want me around any longer." John shrugged, pulling at his collar as he finished dressing. "I was a nuisance and a reminder of what he lost. He always knew that I owed them nothing, wanted nothing to do with them, and now represented a threat."

"Because you always had at least four stone on him." Anna leaned back into her pillows. "I bet you scared him."

"I hope I did." John came back to the bed, taking Anna's hand and kissing it. "I do hope you know that I do still want your help, whenever and if you're ever willing to give it to me."

Anna nodded, "I know. I just…"

"You're not ready." John put his hand to her cheek. "But if you ever are, I'll be waiting for you."

"How will you know when I'm ready if you've left me no way to contact you."

"On the chance you change your mind?" John gave a little smile before pressing their lips together. Anna sank into the kiss and regretted when they had to part. "I'll be watching. Don't worry."

"I always worry about you. Even when I could not fully remember you, I worried over you. I just had no idea what it was."

"Then know that I've worried over you as well." John pushed himself off the bed and to the window, the barest hint of dawning daylight threatening his escape. "I'll be about. Just be looking for me."

Anna watched him leave through the window, moving without a sound and with all the grace of a shadow. After a moment she blinked and it was as if he was never there. But Anna put her hand to the space on the bed next to her, still warm from him, and curled herself into the space to try and savor the last vestiges of his presence before the knock at her door had her rising to don a dressing gown.

She opened the door and took the tray from Gwen's hands, putting it on the table between the two stuffed chairs in her room to pick over the offerings. Refraining from most of it, she paused at the paper. Biting the inside of her cheek, Anna settled herself with pouring a cup of tea and opening the paper on the footstool to scan the headlines.

Gwen sniffed once and then shut the door, "I'll not ask a question that, if I know the answer, might put me in a spot of bother when questioned later."

"No one but you knows." Anna sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"And for long will that be?" Gwen draped the clothes over the end of the bed before bending to the floor to collect those left there the night before. "But I've got you a hot bath all drawn. After your trek yesterday and whatever other… activities, you engaged in while under cover of darkness might be best washed down the drain. If you've a mind to bathe."

"I've a mind to do a great many things." Anna settled into the chair next to the fire, pulling the paper closer to read it. "I see Mr. Kent and I made the headlines with the only usable photograph they retrieved from our little disaster."

"It's why they're throwing a bit of a fete."

"Yes," Anna stirred her spoon into her cup before sipping at it. She frowned, holding the cup toward Gwen. "Is it just me or is the tea more bitter than normal?"

"I might've added a bit of something, just to… take measures."

Anna raised an eyebrow and set the tea to the side. "That's not necessary."

"I know you've indicated but it's better safe than sorry."

"I don't want to drink them because I don't think they truly work." Anna picked at some toast, "What do you know about the fete?"

"From what I got from the milkman this morning and one of the maids I ran into in the fabric shop yesterday," Gwen checked the clothes, sorting them into piles. "It's Mr. Kent Senior's desire to try and set the events of your photography session firmly in the back of everyone's mind."

"He is a vain man." Anna folded the paper and placed it to the side. "And he'll never reject an opportunity to give the public a view of that ostentatious house he owns in Knightsbridge."

"If you own a house in Knightsbridge then one should use it." Gwen nodded at the tray, "If you're willing to let that lot lie, we could get you all scoured and ready for the day."

"I've not got any engagements. Just some writing for Mr. Gregson."

"He sent a note, by the way." Gwen dug into her pocket, handing over three envelopes, "I believe he's asking about your health and perhaps an exclusive interview about everything lately."

"Not sure what he'll find in all that." Anna took the letter opener from the tray and opened all three letters before reading the one from Mr. Gregson. "I'll admit, he's a determined fellow but very democratic in his requests. I'd even go so far as to say he's got a very oblique way to ask for what he wants."

"The skill of a good writer?"

"He used to be a journalist." Anna tucked the note back into the envelope. "He'll get what he wants."

"And the others?"

"One from Mr. Talbot." Anna read it quickly before shaking her head. "Which will go unanswered until I decide if I'm truly as angry at him as I am at myself."

She opened the last one and all the color left her face. "Who…"

"That last one was delivered by a man this morning, not with the rest of the post." Gwen plucked at her fingers. "I was curious about it since the man… He had a very uneasy leer Miss Anna."

"I suspect he did." Anna tucked the letter away. "What choices do you have in mind for this evening?"

"I was thinking something blue. It'll bring out your eyes and Mr. Kent seemed to prefer the blue one you wore to the last party."

"The midnight one?" Gwen nodded and Anna pushed herself to her feet, "I think we should try royal blue this time. Are they any second-hand shops with any?"

"More than likely." Gwen shrugged, "I can trawl a few throughout the day and bring back potential options for you. But the hemming or adjustments will have to be rather swift I'm afraid."

"I trust your skills." Anna winced, "And I do apologize for how this will put you out."

"I'll just get some help." Gwen quirked a little smile. "I do believe that I've the perfect man for hunting through dress shops."

"Man?"

"My Mr. Harding might work with your father at the bank, but he works as a tailor and dresser for the bank officials. He advises their wardrobes and helps them dress. He could have you sorted if I just take another dress and your measurements to him. It'll be faster than swatting a fly."

Anna smiled, "And allow you an excuse to spend more time with your mustachioed man?"

"Exactly that Miss Anna." Gwen waved her hand to the door. "And now your bath, before the water is irretrievably cold."

When Gwen left with one of Anna's dresses and Anna ensconced herself in the library, she remained consumed by her work to the point it took a solid hand on her shoulder to bring her back to the real world. She jumped slightly, putting a hand over her heart as she recognized James there with his hands up as if in surrender. "I'm so sorry. You must've been calling my name or-"

"No, I actually snuck in here." He smiled and sat on the chair alongside her desk. "I'll assume you're working on something rather important."

"It's for Mr. Gregson." Anna blew over the page and set it carefully to the side before checking the others to ensure they were dry before collecting the sheaves. "I'm a bit behind on my deadline and he'll need these before the party your father's throwing this evening."

James cringed, "I know it's not what we counted on but-"

"James," Anna put a hand over his. "I know it's not what you want either."

"No," James's fingers crunched along the rounded edge of his hat before he turned to Anna. "I… I need to ask you something. In confidence, if I can."

"Of course." Anna turned in her seat, her hands on her lap. "We're going to be married so I'd hope we can ask one another anything."

"Then please forgive the bluntness of this interrogative." James swallowed hard. "Do you love me?"

Anna blinked, "What?"

"I know that we're not marrying because we're in love but…"

"You don't want to live a farce?" James nodded and Anna took a deep breath, "To answer your question, I've got to ask the same of you."

James ducked his head, "I know the kiss we shared, in the library-"

"James-"

"Please," He held up a hand, "Allow me to finish."

Anna nodded, "Please do."

James shuffled in his seat again. "I enjoyed kissing you. I enjoy being in your company and I find that you're diverting. Not because of your reputation or all of the things people said about you but because of who you are as a person. I enjoy you for you and that is not something I can say about many women."

"Thank you."

"That being said," James bit at his lip, "I don't think we're in love. This marriage is one of convenience for the both of us. My father needed me seen to marry someone because of the rumors about his old clerk and… They were all false but… Anyway, he thought this a good match and I know your parents were grateful for the chance to introduce you to society on the arm of a respectable man to put those vicious rumors about you to rest as well. This has always been about the perceptions that others hold where we're concerned."

"And that's not enough for you."

"Perhaps I'm too much of a romantic but I've always held the idea that one should marry someone who at least likes them, if not loves them."

"And you don't think I like you?"

"I think you weren't engaged in that kiss. I think you, like me, are performing a duty to ease the anxiety of your parents in this engagement. And I… Perhaps I overstep the mark but I'm convinced that you're in love with someone else."

Anna held his gaze for a moment and then nodded, "You're not wrong."

"I could feel it, when you kissed me. You're not untutored in the art, which doesn't bother me, but I… I could tell you didn't feel about me the way that I hoped to feel about you."

"I don't."

"Then am I treading where another man would dare walk?"

"He can't. And even if he could, it…" Anna stopped herself, shaking her head. "We're on different paths I think, he and I. It's not the kind of situation resolved with the dissolve of our engagement."

"And he doesn't mind that you're to be married to someone else?"

"I didn't say that but he respects my decision and, since you're still breathing, respects you." James's eyes grew wide and Anna took another breath. "I think that I need to… Tell you something. It will shock you and might possibly end our engagement for another reason entirely but you deserve to know."

"Know what?"

"The man who accompanied us, after the poor photographer was killed, is an agent for His Majesty's government. He's been working with me since I returned from my… year away, trying to help me remember the details of that time." Anna swallowed and then stood, "Can we have this conversation out of doors. I'm feeling very claustrophobic and I need to say these things to you somewhere I don't feel the very air is choking me."

"Of course." James hurried to stand and accompanied Anna to retrieve their hats, coats, and his umbrella. He hooked it over his arm and Anna took the other so they could walk down the steps of her house to the street. They traveled to the nearest park and started a slow crawl around the gravel path. "I'm sorry if coming to your house today upset you. It wasn't my intention."

"If anything, James, you've spurred me to action as I should've told you all of this a long time ago. And especially after you almost died in that photography studio." Anna glanced toward the pond, "I owed it to you, to tell you, but I was afraid that saying it would make it real. Would shatter the lovely idea of what we might have together."

"Love?"

"At least like." Anna pulled James to stop for a moment. "For all else I may say to you, please know this. I do like you. You've been nothing but kind to me and I'll never be able to repay that."

"Now I feel that you'll call it all off."

"No," Anna shook her head, staring at the pond. "I know you need this as much as I do and I'd never do that to you."

"That's very generous." James pointed to a bench. "Might we?"

Anna joined him, sitting primly on the edge of the wood. "That man, Mr. Talbot, found me shortly after I returned because I hoped I could give him details about rumors he heard. Rumors I confirmed that made it… a personal matter, for him to resolve and handle."

"I feel as if you're telling me quite a bit while telling me nothing at all."

Anna gave a little laugh, "I guess being oblique won't spare you any of the possible trials or troubles if you're a target again." She shrugged, "Mr. Talbot's father contracted a man to steal children, orphans and vagrants, to train them as disposable agents to foreign governments."

"He did what?"

"That's what Henry wondered. He did not want to believe it but his father had a very low opinion of those beneath his class. He helped steal those children and spirit them away somewhere."

"The same place you were?" Anna nodded and James slumped back against the bench. "Then how'd you get away?"

"The man, the one you know that I love, helped me escape."

"So you were never one of these… agents?"

"Apparently not. But my visit to Dr. Seward, the alienist, helped me uncover the truth about the training I endured." Anna shuddered, "Without John I would've been one of them."

"Is that his name, this other man?"

"Yes." Anna's lip twerked toward a smile. "It's rather a small name for someone who means so much to me."

"It's…" James gave a laugh. "It's actually a bit funny."

"How'd you mean?"

"I'm James," He pointed to himself and then waved his hand. "And he's John. It makes perfect sense."

"I'm not following."

"The Book of John refers to John as the disciple that Jesus loved." James pointed to Anna. "I do hope you follow the allusion I'm drawing."

"I don't know if comparing me to our Risen Lord is wise but I follow." Anna took another breath, "Before my most recent visit with Dr. Seward, however, I didn't remember much. Just flashes of memory and little instincts I couldn't explain. I bit like half-remembered dreams. I couldn't place them or follow them but now I'm starting to piece my life back together."

"And John is helping?"

"John's the one who told me I was never an assassin so, in a way, yes." Anna turned her focus to the pond. "I think, more than that, the truth is I can tell you who tried to kill me at the photography studio."

"You mean us?"

"I mean me. You, and the poor photographer, were just collateral damage she considered acceptable losses."

"The dead are acceptable losses now?"

"To someone like her, yes." Anna chewed the inside of her cheek. "Her name was Edna. She wouldn't answer to that now, according to John, as she is an assassin. Her name, now, is Braithwaite."

"Very impersonal and militaristic."

"That's the point. She's nothing but her mission now. Or… Her revenge."

"Against you?"

"Perhaps."

"Did you… beat her or something?"

"What happened between us is… unclear. I'm still trying to put those memories in their proper place. But John told me that she believes I've attracted the attention of a paramour she wants for herself."

James stiffened, "Not… me?"

"I honestly don't think she knows anything about you so I wouldn't worry too much on that account." Anna rubbed her gloved hand over James's gloves. "The man, Nigel, had a son named Alex. Alex was… He had a rather unhealthy attraction to me that he… abused, rather badly."

"He hurt you?" Anna nodded and James swallowed, "In… In a way that might affect… Did he…"

"I'm sure you can surmise the kind of abuse I suffered at his hands. There's no need to say it out loud." Anna bit the inside of her cheek in time with the blink she used to keep tears from falling. "It's in the past and I'm… I'm not that person any longer. What she assumed was a mutual attraction was nothing but the stalking of prey by a weak predator."

"But this… Braithwaite, might still be confused about the truth of your relationship? Might still be… after you?" James almost rose from his seat, inspecting the park with a sudden scrutiny but Anna gently put him back on the bench. "She could be here, right now."

"I doubt it." Anna opened her mouth, flustering for a moment before settling. "I can't explain it, but if she were here I could feel it and I don't."

"Then she's out in the world somewhere?"

"Whatever she believes Alex Green wants from me, he'll not get it."

"Why not?"

"Because I've left that world firmly behind." Anna faced James. "We may not love one another the way that we wish we did. But I promise you, when we marry, I'll be yours. For whatever we are and have been, I'm loyal. As your wife I'll be your wife. That's all there is for me."

"Then the fact that we don't love one another…"

"How many couples do you know that love one another? Truly?" Anna smiled at James's face and put her hand to his cheek. "We respect one another. We'll be true to one another. And we actually like one another as people. That's far and above most of the marriages I've seen. For now, perhaps, that needs to be enough for us."

"Is it for you?"

"It can be." Anna studied James's face before leaning forward and kissing him.

It was not like it was with John. There was no passionate fire but there was a pleasant intrigue. There was a promise there and when she broke the kiss James blinked at her. "If you can look past the mess that is my personal history, perhaps we can build something together. Maybe not a perfect home but a home."

James nodded, covering her hand at his cheek and leaning in for another kiss. It was not like the one from the library or the one from a moment before. It was tender, delicate, and gentle. All the things they would be with and to one another. All the promises they made to one another in that moment.

They spoke a bit more, planning their dances and arrival at the fete that evening, before James walked her home. Another sweet but ultimately passionless kiss passed between them before James bid her a good morning. Anna watched him go before entering her house. As she did, handing her coat and hat over to the footman they employed, Gwen came down the stairs.

"I'll assume this means success."

"It means… Yes, about the dress but it's…" Gwen pulled at her fingers again and Anna narrowed her eyes as Gwen's head bobbed toward the library. "That man, with the card from this morning, he's in the library."

"With whom?"

"No one. You're mother's attending a charity meeting with other wives from the bank and your father'll be working until the last minute. He's in there alone."

Anna nodded, "Please… Please contact Mr. Talbot. Have him get here as soon as he can but only tell him that Mr. Green is here. Tell no one else, do you understand? Can you do it?"

Gwen nodded and cringed, "I don't think you should go in there, Miss Anna. He's… He pours ice down my spine."

"And mine." Anna straightened her shoulders. "But we've all got to keep up appearances and I need to face a few more demons."

"Miss Anna…"

"If you don't go now then Mr. Talbot won't get here." Anna pointed to the door, "Please, Gwen. I need his help. Much as I'm loathe to seek it."

Gwen scurried away and Anna forced herself to swallow before pushing into the library. The man at the other end of the room, perusing the books, turned and Anna's hand gripped tightly around the doorknob before she found the courage to release it. It trembled and she gripped her hands together to stop the shake.

"My, my." He closed the book, looking her up and down. "It appears that little Anna Smith has grown into quite the lady."

"I'm not a lady and I don't pretend to be." Anna kept to the edge of the room, circling the space to keep an equal distance between them. "I didn't expect you to visit me, Mr. Green."

"At least you remember my name." The book went back on the shelf and he walked to the fireplace, pointing at her. "According to all the papers I gathered after you left, you didn't remember anything."

"Time heals all wounds, so they say."

"They do say." Green took a seat on the sofa, sprawling slightly. "But I've got to ask, do you truly not remember what happened to you?"

"I remember enough." Anna narrowed her eyes, "Is that why you sent Edna after me? To make sure I didn't remember anything else?"

Green frowned, "Braithwaite's in France."

"Perhaps she is now but two weeks ago she was here, shooting at me and my fiancé while we had our photograph taken."

"I noticed you never sent a card to thank me for recognizing my congratulations on your impending nuptials."

"You didn't provide a return address."

Green laughed and was on his feet in a second, "I'm here because you're going to come back with me."

"Over my dead body."

"That can be arranged." They stood against one another a moment before Green's ears perked at the sound of a carriage. "I do hope you didn't call anyone."

"It's my house. I can accept or refuse any guests that I like."

"Was it your government chap?"

"I'm sure you'll meet him presently." Anna turned to the door as Talbot entered, "Mr. Talbot, may I introduce you to Alex Green."


	10. Anna Grown Up

Talbot and Green stared at one another a moment before Green pulled at his lapels. "If I'd known I was going to meet the son of the Right Honorable Edwin Talbot I wouldn't have planned other engagements before this evening's festivities."

"What, is meeting me keeping you from abducting urchins and orphans?"

"Not at all." Green's face stretched into a taunting smile. "It's just that I could spend the entire evening getting to know you better. I've heard so much about you."

"So have I and I fail to share the sentiment of desiring to know you better or to share your company." Talbot gave a little scoff, "Funny that."

"And yet," Green spread his hands. "He we are, sharing the same space."

Talbot kept himself in position to stop any move Green might make for the door. "I could arrest you now and toss you in a hole for the horrible things you've done. It's within my power."

"On who's word?" Green pointed to Anna, "Hers?"

"She'd be enough."

"She's the mad child from the moors, Mr. Talbot." Green's mouth quirked, "Or did you not read the same papers I did."

"I know I read the papers about your father's death… And everything else he did before society chased him out."

"Yes, my father." Green's jaw twitched, "The real villain in your story. The one who, is not for the touch of the Reaper, would be here with us now and you could arrest him for those atrocities you'd lay at my feet."

"You've not been shy about taking up his business."

"One your father began, as I remember." Green's eyes narrowed, "What, too embarrassed to admit your name would drag through the same mud where you'd hope to drown me and mine?"

"My reputation's not a part of this. It's about your father and his sins passing onto his child and affecting other children." Talbot's lips twitched toward a smirk, "But I guess that's all you can expect from one who came from his background."

Green's face contorted before he could school his expression. "How kind of you to remember my father. I'll never forget yours. Bit of a prick, yes?"

"He had his flaws."

"One of those being the little experiment he cooked up with my father, I'm sure." Green waited a beat, "Or do you think there are darker secrets than my deceased father that could match what yours have done? The ones you don't think would sully your reputation by association?"

"As I said, my reputation's not at the crux of this, they were. And I'm sure the only thing on which we could ever agree would be that our fathers have enough demons between them to make their eternal damnation unpleasant." Talbot turned to Anna, "I do hope you've invited us both for tea. Otherwise we're just taking up space in your library and I could move this elsewhere."

"Like a police station?"

Talbot met Green's expression again, "It wouldn't be the worst place or too far outside the desires of my heart at the moment."

"Then it's a shame I'm here on personal business and you've got nothing."

"To charge you with or to hold you?" Talbot risked a step closer to Green. "Because those are two different things. I've got holes for people like you."

"Holes your father dug to bury his sins?"

"Holes where you'll waste away like your father did."

"Talbot I thing-" Anna tried to get between them but Green cut her off.

"I think tea might be the only thing keeping us from trying to kill one another right here." Green pointed at Anna as he went back to where he placed the book he tucked back on the shelf earlier. "Although I'm sure Anna would love to demonstrate the skills she learned under my tutelage should we dissolve to fisticuffs here in this rather magnificent house."

"You seem very confident in your abilities."

"I was trained well." Green shrugged, "I doubt you'd fight so dirty."

"I don't remember you being any good at fighting when you had to train with us." Anna ground her jaw as she kept an odd triangle between herself, Talbot, and Green to pull the bell for service. "You were never particularly graceful or careful and, as Senior always told us, we weren't brute force."

"I'm sure whatever my father told you, he wasn't aware of how the world works." Green flipped through the pages of the book, "He always believed in the scalpel but I find the sledgehammer is a far more effective tool."

"Then I'm sure we'll soon hear about the ending of your particularly insidious blight soon enough." Talbot took a seat, still within reach of the door. "The swath of destruction promises to be much higher and wider with you, doesn't it?"

"I may be a little rough around the edges," Green continued flipping through pages, making a point of ignoring looking at Talbot. "But I'm a natural at what I do. Some things can't be trained."

"The same can be said of some people." Talbot risked but Green kept whatever retort he had planned to himself as the door to the library opened and Gwen stepped into the space.

Anna crossed the distance and made a point of keeping her voice level as she spoke. "We'll take tea for three, Gwen. Please make sure Mrs. Bird puts out the leavings from luncheon. I'd hate to waste her skills."

"Yes Miss Anna." Gwen's eyes flicked toward Green but Anna gave a barely perceptible nod of her head to get the other woman back out the door.

The moment the door shut, Green's snorting laugh came from the other side of the room. "Playing at running a house. How domestic of you."

"Is that a compliment?"

"More of an insight in the tragedy of your circumstance." Green pointed at Anna with the book before motioning at the room around them. "Is that what you'll have to do when you finally tie the knot with the spineless little man you've got dangling on your arm? Play house?"

"James is hardly spineless."

"That wasn't an answer."

"Do you deserve one?" They stared off for a moment before Anna adjusted her skirt and took a seat on one of the sofas. "I didn't think so but, just because it'll soothe your curiosity, you'll find that this is who I am so it's not so much 'playing at house' as it is running my house."

Green replaced the book for the second time. "You can't tell me that being trapped in a house like this will make you happy."

"It makes me very happy, actually." Anna held her back straight. "It's the life I'll have that won't include you. Everything about that thought makes me happy."

"Will Mr. Talbot be invited to share this happiness with you?" Green took a seat on the sofa opposite her, spreading out over it as if he might kick up his feet and take ownership of the entire house. "Will you still be at his beck and call?"

"You'll find I'm at hers, not the other way around." Talbot interjected but Anna held up a hand to stop him continuing.

"Whatever life you represent, the life Mr. Talbot here wants me to remember for the betterment of all mankind, is behind me. I've no interest in any of what happened or even what might be happening. I've not a care in the world about it and whatever comes of it or anyone connected to it." Anna held Green's gaze. "Once I marry James, neither of you will exist as far as I'm concerned."

"You'd be alright with that?" Green's eyes narrowed, "You'd be fine leaving the potential salvation of others in the hands of that wet blanket?"

"I'd leave it all alone." Anna straightened, "It's what I might've told your assassin if she'd spared me half a chance to explain the situation before shooting at me and mine in that photography studio."

"Braithwaite can be a little overeager, I'll admit, but she's dedicated."

"That was precisely the problem."

"She won't be one to you any longer"

Anna narrowed her eyes, "What do you mean?"

"You're not Braithwaite's target. Never were."

"Then she just shot at me for old times sake?"

"You tell me." Anna did not answer and Green gave another little laugh. "Always the same Anna. Suspicious, protective, and loyal. It's… Tiresome."

"Then leave."

"I'm here to prove a point."

"I'd rather you just made one instead of dancing around like a we're all holding hands and singing a children's rhyme."

Green stretched out again. "Tell me, when you were hunched over your cowering fiancé, as Braithwaite told it, did you feel you could do better."

"That's not what happened."

"Like I said, protective." Green sniffed and readjusted his position. "There you were, or so she said, tucking him under you like a mother hen with chicks during a summer storm."

"There were bullets flying."

"That's not the point."

"Then what is?" Anna waited but Green just looked at his nails. "Let me take another tact: what did Braithwaite want with me and mine?"

"To kill you." Green shrugged at the expressions Talbot and Anna flashed him. "I wouldn't worry."

"And why wouldn't we have reason to worry when there's a mad woman shooting at people in the city?" Talbot cut in but Green only sighed.

"She's been handled."

"Handled?" Anna huffed, "And what is that supposed to mean to us?"

"She's been sent on her way to do her duty elsewhere. More to the point, she knows what she did was wrong." Green opened his hands to them, as if attempting placation. "It won't happen again."

"How very comforting."

"I thought so."

Talbot rolled his eyes and snorted, "Do you always speak about the other people in your life as if they're children?" He pointed at Anna, "Do you think she's still a child? To manipulate and control?"

"I hardly considered Anna a child." Green eyed her. "And Braithwaite's no child either. Not with the things she knows about the bedroom."

"I'd remind you that you're in society here, sir, and a measure of decorum is expected in better company." Talbot rose from his chair and closed the distance to sit on the same sofa with Anna. "You're not on your island now."

"Don't I know it." Green let his eyes wander. "But if you're worried about sensitive ears or the possible fainting of our Anna here, you shouldn't. The things she's seen and done… I imagine she could teach you a few maneuvers for the bedroom because of what I did to break her in."

Anna's fingers curled into her palm, digging her nails deep into her skin. "Mr. Talbot is a gentleman, sir. He doesn't treat women the way you treated me."

"So you remember that part?" Green's tongue ran over his lip and his eyebrows rose. "Do you dream about it?"

"They're the stuff of my nightmares. As I'm sure they're the contents of many girls' nightmares when you're through with them."

"Perhaps, I've never asked them." Green leered at them, "They're a kind of… commodity, around here."

"I'm sure whatever gutter your trawl through is littered with filth as decrepit and depraved as yourself." Talbot bit out, his fingers digging into his trouser leg.

"Then you've not had the privilege of visiting one of the brothels that men frequent in this town." Green crossed one leg over the other as the door opened to admit their tea, Daisy carrying the tray. "I find some of my best fun in such places."

His eyes followed Daisy as she came to approach them. "Girls like her, for instance, make for great sport at-"

"Daisy I think you should put the tray on the table and leave. Please tell Gwen to have two carriages at the door as soon as possible." Anna stood, cutting off any further comment from Green. "Our guests suddenly find themselves in need of being occupied somewhere else."

"Stilly fiery. Still protective. Still loyal." Green stood, buttoning his jacket before straightening it. "I wonder if it'd be as fun to break you the second time as it was the first. They say you can never relive it but given you've forgotten most of the details I bet it'll be just like new."

"You'll never find out." Anna pointed to the door. "Your exit is behind me."

Green let himself snicker a moment before nodding at Anna. "I'll see you at the Kent's little party this evening Anna. There's so much more for you and I to discuss. So many more memories to share."

"We've said all you and I will ever say to one another."

"Oh Anna." Green almost reached for her but anna sidestepped the attempt. He only gave a little laugh. "Given how much time we've lost between us, and how many unanswered questions we both share, I doubt we'll avoid one another."

"There's nothing else for us to say to one another that wouldn't end with a fork through your throat." Anna stepped to the side. "Good day, sir."

Green chuckled to himself out the door and Anna moved closer to the window to watch as he descended the front steps to enter the waiting carriage. It pulled away and was around the corner before Anna put her hands on the table in an attempt to steady her breathing. Her fingers tapped the surface as they calmed enough for her to finally breath normally. It still took a few moments before she pushed herself to stand straight and walk to the tea service to pour herself a cup.

She managed a sip before noticing Talbot still standing in something akin to shock near the sofas. "Would you like one, Mr. Talbot?"

"Anna?" His jaw struggled to fully close. "How…What…"

"It's tea, Henry, and I asked if you wanted some."

"After all that?" Talbot flailed his hand toward the window as if the memory of Green imprinted there. "After all he said? All he implied? All he's done?"

"I'm sure you understand the need to simply carry on, yes?" Anna raised the cup to her lips and sipped at the tea, waiting for it to calm her. "That's what I'm doing and, as we're British, that always begins with tea."

"He's a monster, Anna."

"I know exactly what he is." Anna took another sip. "You've no need to remind me what and who he is. I know him better than you do, even with my memory in shards and slivers."

"And yet you'll persist in pretending-"

"I do hope you didn't mistake my invitation this afternoon as my forgiveness for what you've done." Anna lowered her cup to the saucer, "Because if that's the case then I'll invite you to use the same door he did to see yourself out."

"I'm not a fool." Talbot came over to the table, finally taking a cup for himself. "I know it'd be far too early to suggest you could forgive me for using you as I have."

"You'd be right." Anna managed another sip before setting her cup down and crossing her arms over her chest. "Now that you've met him, I'm sure you can understand why I'd rather have nothing to do with your particular venture."

"He's… He's a right bastard, if I can say that." Talbot put his cup to his lips. "I wanted to punch his teeth into the back of his head and not stop taking my fist to his face until it was an unrecognizable mess."

"I'm sure we'd both enjoy that but then what about your endeavor?"

"I'd scour the ocean with a sieve if it meant I could beat the shit out of that little prick." Talbot paused, "I hope I'm not offending you."

"Far from." Anna gave a little smile, "And there you were, insisting on decorum in the presence of a lady of society."

"It's not my proudest moment so if you could… Keep it to yourself?"

"He's not here and I won't tell your secret." Anna sighed and let her arms drop. "Despite our… change in relationship, I'd like to think we can still trust one another to keep our shared secrets."

"Yours are safe with me."

"And yours, the few I know, are safe with me." Anna flexed her jaw, "If you'll remember that I've yet to forgive you for your decisions, then I'd like to invite you to come tonight. As my guest if need be but please come all the same."

"I can wrangle an invitation that wouldn't put you or Mr. Kent in danger of linking yourselves to me by association." Talbot finished his tea and left his cup on the tray. "But I'm going to hazard you want me there to offer another pair of eyes to keep watch on Green."

"And a pair of eyes looking for Edna." Anna shook her head, "I don't believe she's been sent away. And even if she was, I don't think she's gone."

"What makes you say that?"

"It's… Something in my bones tells me she's still in London."

"Intuition?"

"Or a sixth sense they built into me on that island." Anna scrubbed over her face with a hand. "Whatever it is, I worry she'll try to kill me again and I don't want anyone hurt in the inevitable crossfire. If she's after me then that's personal and I'll not have anyone else suffering for her insanity."

Talbot nodded, "Do you know why she's after you?"

"Maybe?" Anna shrugged, "For what I've remember it's… It's for reasons I don't want to explain."

"So you remembered more from yesterday?"

Anna opened her mouth before biting down and shaking her head. "No."

"Then how-"

"That's for me to know and, maybe, tell you one day."

Talbot nodded, "Fair." They were silent a moment before he let out a grunt. "That man should be in prison. The way he talked about…"

"I know." Anna shrugged, "But that's your business, not mine."

"Then you're still committed to staying out of it?"

"I want nothing more to do with him or any of this."

"But Anna-"

"No!" The flat of Anna's hand impacted the table and they both stopped. Anna clenched her fingers into a fist to help herself deflate as she closed her eyes to focus on her breathing. Once she regulated it she repeated, more calmly, "No, Henry."

"What about the others suffering?"

"What about them?" She waited but Talbot did not immediately respond, his face contorting in confusion. "I know what you must be thinking. Or what you might think of me as a person but despite whatever… Debt I may owe those in similarly unfortunate circumstances, I can't help them. I'm… I'm broken, Henry, and I can't be made whole if I'm putting myself to the same hazards that shredded me so thoroughly before. If I'm constantly reliving the horrors my mind tried to hide from me so it wouldn't destroy who I am."

"At the risk of sound self-serving, perhaps this is the only way to fix yourself." Talbot offered a hand but Anna occupied hers with her unfinished tea. He folded himself back and refused to finish his own tea. "I don't pretend to know or even understand what you endured under that… Bugger boy's hand. And I don't pretend to comprehend what you must've endured under his tyrant of a father. But I do know that you're not the only one to suffer."

"Hence why I won't be the one eager to punch in his face myself." Anna bit the inside of her cheek before finishing her tea. "There are others with far stronger claims to that privilege than me."

"You want someone else to finish him for you?"

"I don't want to finish him at all." Anna sighed, "I don't think you understand."

"Obviously not."

"Then allow me to explain, for the last time." Anna held his gaze. "I want nothing to do with any of this. Not him. Not you. And not anyone else caught in the crossfire. I just want to move on with my life. Does no one understand that?"

"Anna this is important. You could-"

"No!" Anna's arm threw out, catching the tea service to send it scattering over the table and leave some of the pieces shattering it on the floor. They both paused and Talbot took a step back from the destruction. Anna took a few breaths to level her voice when she looked at Talbot again. "Did you not listen to a word I said any of the times I've said them? Have you ignored everything I've told you since I first told you I wanted nothing to do with this?"

"I thought you might've-"

"I've not changed my mind and I don't plan to." Anna shook her head, "And this is why I'm still not in a position to forgive you. You don't understand any of it."

"I might not but I have to think about more than just you." Talbot put his hand over his face, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. "I may not understand why you don't want to destroy that man but I know he needs to be ruined and you're the only one who can help me."

"I won't." Anna paced away from the table. "I'll see you at the Kent's party tonight. Please don't be late."

"Anna, despite what you may think of me, I'm not trying to be cruel and I don't want to make this worse but I need your help and I won't stop asking for the sake of those missing children."

"And I won't stop telling you 'no'." Anna nodded toward the door. "Your exit, like Mr. Green's, is that way."

Talbot sighed and left the room, the door closing allowing Anna to turn away from the wall. She wiped at her eyes and steadied her breathing before pulling on the rope to bring Gwen back into the library. The remains of the tea service held her focus until Gwen's voice cut through the fug of thoughts crowding her mind.

"Apologize to Daisy for me and please have tea cleared away." Anna looked at Gwen, "And I'll need to try that dress you were kind enough to prepare for me."

"Miss Anna," Gwen closed the distance between them, "Perhaps I should tell Mr. Kent you're indisposed."

"Why?"

"Your hands are shaking, Miss, and you're pale as a sheet." Gwen shook her head, "I'm not doctor and I don't pretend to know anything about the mind the way your alienist does, but I don't think you're ready for the kind of pressure you'll experience tonight."

"Perhaps not but I won't allow the dregs of my old life to poison the budding blossom of my new one." Anna took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. "Whatever happened here today… It's behind me."

"Right behind you, Miss."

"Gwen…" Anna bit at her lip. "I appreciate your honesty and your forward attitude but I don't need a dressing down. I need a friend and someone to help me get through this night so I can pretend it's all in the past."

Gwen opened her mouth as if to speak but closed it and nodded. Anna sighed, "Good. Then we'd best get on with it. I haven't eaten anything since this morning and since I ruined tea I'll need something to tide me over until supper."

"I'll have Mrs. Bird send something small to your room." Gwen stepped to the side, "And I'll get Daisy and another maid to care for this."

"Thank you Gwen." Anna pointed toward the broken ceramic. "And I'm sorry about this. I was… Careless."

"It's an accident Miss, we take care of those all the time." Gwen walked with Anna to her room. "Now, about the dress, I'm thinking-"

Between Gwen's expertise and the relaxation of the mundane, Anna greeted James in the library that evening sparkling in her dress and performing a little spin for his approval. He gushed and blushed a little at her before kissing her hand. "I've no words adequate to describe how wonderful you look."

"Those are words enough for me." Anna kissed his cheek and then led him to the hall for their coats. "And you look rather dashing yourself in white tie."

"It forces you to sit straight and stand taller." James shrugged, "I think it's a bit ostentatious but since we're putting on appearances, it's necessary."

"I do hope," Anna fluffed her hair out of the collar of her coat before taking James's arm and trailing him to the carriage. "That once we're married your father might manage to calm himself about your prospects and the public appearances he insists we put on."

"I doubt it." James shuddered, opening the door. "He'll just find a new target to manage and nitpick until he's dead."

Anna's eyes darted up to the coachman but noticed the man's smaller frame and drooping shoulders before taking James's hand to climb into the carriage. "I guess it is in the nature of parents to worry over their children."

"My mother worried over me." James climbed in after her, shutting the door and tapping the roof to send them off. "My father manages me like he manages his banks and with about as much love."

Anna leaned across the cab to take James's hand. "Well then we'll forget what he thinks. We're the masters of our fates now."

"Yes." James kissed the back of her hand, "We are indeed."

They rode in companionable silence to the destination, James moving from his seat to the one next to Anna, and he climbed out before she did to offer her his hand. She took it and descended to congratulations and remarks from the others joining them in entering the grand hall Mr. Kent rented for the evening. A hall that had Anna almost whistling her surprise at when James took her coat and led her into the vaulted ceiling-ed room.

"How much did your father spend on this?" Anna whispered, passing her smiles at the well-wishers and acquaintances who passed them.

"More than he should have." James muttered, shaking his head. "But this place is in probate since the owner died and he's been renting it to cover payments in the interim. Once they find a buyer he'll be more at ease about it but using it for the party is just a smokescreen for the fact he had no other locations available on such short notice."

"Then I'll compliment his desperate genius." Anna turned to James, wrapping her arm a little tighter around his. "But I think we need to join our guests."

"We should start with a dance then." James let himself smile a little. "Just to shake up the proceedings."

"Why not?" Anna winked back, "It is our party, after all."

"Indeed." James disentangled himself from Anna and extended a hand in a dramatically deep bow that attracted the attention of those immediately around them, "May I have this dance, Ms. Smith?"

Anna let her arm arc up before gently placing her fingers in his, "I'd be honored beyond words, Mr. Kent, to accept your offer."

They took their positions and when the conductor of the small band started playing, James swept Anna over the floor. Others joined them after they completed their second round and despite the scowl Mr. Kent made at them when the first dance finished, both of them stoutly ignoring him, James offered Anna a second dance and they set off again. This one was more lively than the one before and when they finished their cheeks were flushed and they tried to laugh through gasps for breath as they finally took their seats.

"I think we've thoroughly angered your father." Anna winced as they both snuck peeks toward where he sat at another table.

"But we've shown everyone here that we're fine and we're still together." James shrugged and finished half his glass before holding it up for a server to refill it. "That was the point of the evening."

"I thought it was for the average among us to offer our congratulations." Anna froze as Green took one of the seats at their table. "Those of us not invited to offer our best wishes the first time around."

"I'm sorry." James frowned, glancing at Anna before looking at Green again. "Do I know you?"

"I'm an old friend of Anna's." Green swigged from his glass before nodding toward Anna. "And I was wondering if I might ask for a dance."

"We've only just finished and-"

"And I wasn't asking." Green's tone turned dangerous and Anna put a hand over James's to stop him reacting. "I don't need permission from an invertebrate like you. I only need crush you under my boot."

"I don't think you know enough about me to make such accusations, sir." James went to stand but Anna did first.

"I'll give you one dance, Mr. Green, for old time's sake. And then you'll leave and our business will be concluded." She held his gaze, her eyebrows twitching for just a moment. "Agreed?"

Green leered at her. "I'd be a fool to refuse."


	11. The Flight

Anna held her chin high as Green led her out onto the floor for the slow moving waltz the band began. He took her hand and the twitch in his lip signaled he noted the tremor there. The smile he took on as they started to move only secured the momentary power he held over her.

"Nervous, Ms. Smith?"

"That you might hurt those here, yes." Anna kept her face turned away from him, following the form for the waltz and trailing through the circle of moving couples. "But not of you, if that's what you're implying."

"You're the one shaking."

"It's a bit drafty."

"I remember a girl with nerves of steel." Green's voice brushed over her ear and Anna suppressed the desire to shudder. "What happened to Ms. Cotton?"

"She died." Anna met his face as he dipped her and then turned her under his arm with the rest of the women. "Like I pray you one day will."

"We all do." He took her back in pose, his fingers crushing hers a moment. "But I was curious if you'd remember me."

"How could I not?" Anna kept her steps measured as they passed over the floor. "I've seen you every night since I left. I just didn't always remember your name but I knew the feeling of you."

"Comforting?" Green's grip tightened on her back. "Close?"

"Cloying and dark, like oil." Anna flicked her eyes toward him. "I do hope they stop now that I can put name and face together."

"How sad." He tsked his tongue against his teeth. "To forget me after thinking of me… Every night?"

"Every night."

He gave a low whistle, "That's a long time to think about me Anna."

"I've had many nightmares." Anna spun out with the notes and her eyes scanned the crowd. She paused a moment longer than the others when she saw John in the corner, a hard set to his jaw, but moved back to Green when he tugged her into his grip. "You were the main villain in them."

"How very dramatic of you." Green let out a little laugh, "But I'm flattered you bothered to think about me at all."

"I promise you." They took their final pose as the notes of the song died away. "It wasn't intentional in the least."

"But still." Green let go of her hands and clapped with the others. "I'll always be a part of you, Anna, and that's something to keep me warm at night."

"I don't care abut how you feel at night." Anna hissed at him, keeping her voice low as others milled between the changes on the floor. "I only want your word that you'll leave me and mine alone."

"Does that include the pestilential Mr. Talbot?"

"His business, as I explained in excruciating detail to him earlier, is not mine and I want no part of it." Anna drew back, "We're done, yes?"

"I've no argument with you if you've none with me."

"None at all." Anna curtsied to him, "Enjoy the rest of your evening."

"Elsewhere?"

"If you could find it in yourself to do one nice thing for someone else, yes." Anna nodded at him, "Goodbye Mr. Green."

She made for her table, thanking those giving her their well-wishes, but stood distracted just long enough for someone to take her hand. Anna whirled to confront the rather forward individual but was pulled tight against John as the music started. Music with a decidedly Latin feel to it and forced Anna and John's bodies to interlock almost obscenely in such a public venue.

"I'll remind you I'm engaged." Anna hissed but followed the guide of John's hands on her back and hand to move around the floor. "And what is this?"

"It's called the Paso Doble." John led Anna through another set of motions, clicking through ramrod straight motions that forced her to match his pose. "It's Spanish and rather seductive."

"I feel like a display piece."

"You are both the cape," John spun her out before bringing her back toward him, "And the bull."

"And you're the matador, I assume."

"Of course." John dipped her, his mouth near her ear to whisper. "What did Green say to you?"

"Only that he promises to leave me alone since I'll be of no trouble to him." Anna met John's eyes before he spun her out and around him. "Why?"

"You seemed awfully close."

"I'm sure there are many thinking the same now." Anna snapped back into John's arms. "And they'll not be pleased by the sexuality implied in the music I'll hazard to guess you chose."

"I did chose it." John moved them again, "But it's a distraction."

"From the fact I'm engaged?"

"From the mask you're using to hide yourself." John paused them, "Don't abandon this Anna. Don't let him win."

"Because others matter more than me?"

"Because you matter to me and you'll never forgive yourself if you realize that you allowed a monster to haunt the nightmares of others the way he haunts yours." John helped them finish the piece and held Anna close in the dying strains. "Don't let him win."

Anna looked into John's eyes as he raised her from the dip before stepping away and offering him a curtsey. "I've made my choice John."

"Can you live with it?"

"I'm trying to do just that." Anna finally walked back to her table, ignoring the stares and those who risked whispers, and sat next to James. "I think this party was a very bad idea."

"I'll not disagree with that." James tried to smile but his focus caught on another point of the room. "What in Go-"

Anna tugged his arm, bringing them both crashing back into their chairs as two bullets fired into the wall behind their table. They slid on the floor, Anna's dress catching on the heels of her shoes as they tried to move under the table, but a weight landed above them and Anna barely covered her head as another bullet ricocheted off the floor next to her as Edna raised her pistol of another shot. One that never landed as a thumping noise coincided with the next bullet and a grunt followed the crash equivalent to the weight of two bodies hitting the wall.

Struggling to her feet, Anna helped James up before shoving him toward the guests. "Get them out of here, now."

He nodded and immediately took on the role of shepherd as Anna moved to the side of the larger of the two bodies, recognizing Talbot. One of his hands held his shoulder and she moved him onto his back in time to recognize the ooze of blood from between his shaking fingers. In a flash Anna whipped his tie from around his neck and tied his arm in place to hold his shoulder steady before tugging his dinner jacket down to act as a sling for his arm. Between his fingers she shoved his handkerchief and applied pressure there.

"I thought you hadn't forgiven me." He moaned and Anna only huffed through her nostrils at him.

"I can't let you die before I've made up my mind." Anna went to say something else before sharp pain echoed through her jaw as a heel connected with the side of her head.

Sprawling back onto the marble floor, Anna slid in her dress and tried to blink away the black spots and hazing vision brought on by the influx of pain to all of her nerve centers. With a shake of her head, trying to reset the instincts for reaction, Anna managed to dodge another blow aimed from the heel of a shoe and rolled to the side. Her hands caught on fallen silverware and broken dishware before she wrapped her grip around two of the knives. One went to each hand and Anna ducked another strike to get to her feet.

Instinct took over. She flipped one knife to her free hand and held them both out toward her opponent, her right arm leading, and starting a circling maneuver with her attacker. The woman she recognized.

"Edna?"

"Why do you keep calling me that?" The woman faked toward Anna and Anna flinched back with a stab forward of one of the knives. "Is that the name you gave me when you imagined how you'd ruin me?"

"Your name is Edna." Anna blinked past the new pain blooming behind the bridge of her nose. The pain she recognized as her mind's warning of access to memories it shuttered for safe keeping. "You and I trained together."

"You left your post. You tried to ruin me."

"I did nothing of the sort." Anna danced backward as Edna made to move toward her again, knocking her hip along a table as she went. "I've no argument with you. I barely remember you."

"And yet you continue to call me Edna." Edna moved toward her, a pistol in her hand. "Why is that?"

"That's who you are."

"My name is Braithwaite." Edna raised her gun, "And you're trying to steal him from me again."

"What are you talking about?" Anna watched the twitch of Braithwaite's finger and ducked to the side, catching her fingers on the edge of a plate and tossing it into the air to stop the path of the bullet. The plate shattered and Anna raised her arms to protect herself from the flying shards. A move that cost her a second of visibility and had Braithwaite's foot planted hard enough in her gut to send her stumbling back onto the dance floor.

Anna hit hard enough to knock the air from her lungs. The sensation of drowning and choking in the open almost overwhelmed Anna's brain but the moment of panic allowed instinct to take over. Allowed for a shadow to flit past her eyes as if someone crossed before her. In the split second between her struggle for a breath of air and the click of the trigger on Braithwaite's pistol sounding again, Anna heard a voice call out to her.

"Mrs. Cotton, it's time to go to work."

She was up in a moment. With a pivot the bullet missed her and Anna's wrists closed around Braithwaite's. The crossed knives in her hand pulled along Braithwaite's wrist to knock the gun free so Anna could kick it away. Her hands kept the knives locked enough to flip Braithwaite onto her back on the floor.

Anna skittered away, still holding the knives, and noted the cuts along Braithwaite's arms that now bled onto the floor. Braithwaite noted them and only snickered before pushing herself to her feet. They circled one another as Braithwaite bent to retrieve a dropped serving tray and its matching fork. She spun them in her hands and held them up like a trident and a shield.

"Gladiators, like we were."

"I don't remember ever being that." Anna changed her steps, moving her left side toward Braithwaite to keep her right hand back. "But I know your name is Edna and you're not this."

"I am this." Braithwaite made a jerk toward Anna, who knocked Braithwaite's fork away. "Just like you could've been."

"I didn't want it. You don't have to want it either."

"This is who I am." Braithwaite smiled at her, closing the distance slightly to bring Anna's arms up to better defend herself in the closed distance. "This is who he loves. Who he wants. He doesn't want me."

"Who?"

"Alex." Braithwaite's voice took on an edge, leaving Anna to raise her knives to knock aside Braithwaite's first attack and sidestep the body block maneuver from the serving tray used like a shield. "You're trying to take him from me again."

"Again?" Anna knocked another stab toward her and slipped under Braithwaite's wild swing to shove her shoulder under the woman's arm to throw her onto her back again. A kick dislodged the serving tray and Anna's locked knives caught the fork to send it skittering away. "What do you mean?"

"You've always tried to steal him from me." Braithwaite kicked out, catching Anna under the ribs to send her back far enough for Braithwaite to regain her footing. "But you won't get him this time."

Anna almost spoke again but shouts from the door had both women looking toward the constables rushing toward them. Braithwaite snarled and ran from Anna and the constables. They all gaped as she put her hands in front of her and dived through the window to escape. Shards of glass flew out and Anna could only watch as the constables rushed around the room and some jumped after Braithwaite. Could only watch as sound seemed to fuzz and confuse in her ears until nothing rang clearly through her mind. It took someone shaking her arm to even bring Anna back to the room.

But not before a shadow passed over her eyes as a voice sounded in her mind, "Time to sleep, Mrs. Cotton."

Another shake brought her back to the moment and she blinked at the constable standing at her arm. "Sorry?"

"I asked if you're alright miss?"

"I…" Anna let out a breath, "I think I'm alright."

"Are you truly, miss?" The constable looked over her and Anna opened her mouth to speak but someone's voice spoke before her.

"She's fine and I'll take care of her." James rushed forward, putting an arm over her shoulders. "I've got her constable. Thank you."

Anna only nodded, folding herself into James's side, and followed him out of the room. They retrieved her coat and hurried toward the foyer but almost ran into Inspector Carson. He loomed over them and raised an eyebrow.

"Always you two?"

"Inspector-" James went to speak but Inspector Carson held up a hand.

"I think I'll speak to you first, Mr. Kent." Inspector Carson opened his hand and pointed his arm toward a room. "Here, I think, while the memories are freshest."

"We've had a long day, Inspector, and my fiancé-"

"Is far more capable than I think we all realized." Inspector Carson narrowed his eyes at Anna. "I think you agree, Ms. Smith."

"We're all fully of surprises." Anna squeezed James's hand and nodded at him, "I'll be alright, I promise. I'll wait here for you."

James opened his mouth as if to speak but stopped. He nodded at her, kissing her cheek quickly, and followed Inspector Carson into another room. Anna waited for the door to close before letting out a sigh and turning toward another room.

The darkness there enveloped her and Anna closed the door to bask in the silence and the moment of peace before a voice spoke in the darkness. "Are you alright Anna?"

She blinked and almost opened the door but a weight settled over her hand, pushing the door closed. "Don't. Then someone'll know."

"Why do you care knows John?" Anna breathed and shivered as John's hands ran over her, as if checking for damage. "Why are you still here?"

"How could I be anywhere else?"

"I don't know." Anna's hand smoothed over John's jacket and shirt to find his face in the dark. "I thought you were gone."

"Because you refused me again?"

"Yes."

John's fingers ghosted over her face, settling for a second on her lips. "Just because you won't help me doesn't mean I'd leave you when you were in danger. I'd never abandon you."

"You should." Anna shook her head before John's hand formed around her face. "You should leave and never think of me again. I'm a danger to you."

"You're everything to me." Anna's fingers curled in his shirt and moved toward the weight that pressed her into the door. "I can't leave you."

Their lips met and, in the dark, Anna pressed herself into him. Their hands shifted and moved in the dark to heighten emotions as tactile sensation was all they had. All they could do in the dark was seek one another and fall into the embrace of the other as they sought for air and life in the kiss they shared.

Anna wrapped around John when his hands held at her thighs and lifted her against the door. The dull thud of her back against the wood was nothing as he continued kissing her, slanting his mouth to take more of hers and encouraging the foray of her tongue with his. All the while his hands shifted up her legs while the press of his stomach against hers provided the leverage he needed to keep her solidly against the door.

Each brush of his fingers over her skin left Anna shivering in his grip and she broke their kiss to find his cheek. The trace of her lips over his face allowed her to find his neck and then his pulse, taking comfort in the rapid beat of his blood that reflected her own when his fingers brushed against the fabric of her knickers. Knickers he tugged and accidently tore so his fingers could breach her.

Tightening around him, her fingers digging in the material of his dinner jacket to ground herself with his weight, Anna pressed her forehead to his shoulder and struggled to breath. Fought to keep herself in the moment for even a second before succumbing to the relentless insistence of John's fingers inside her. But she gave over to his quest to bring her over the edge and let her head fall back against the door to leave her neck open to his exploration. Leaving herself vulnerable to the high he brought on and the finish she buried in his mouth.

They clung to one another, their chests pressing together on every inhale, and moved to find one another in the dark again. But froze when someone knocked on the door. And Anna's fingers shook against John's jacket when she recognized the voice calling through the door.

"Anna? Anna is that you in there?"

She swallowed, tried to speak, and then swallowed again before answering. "Yes mother."

"Are you alright? I can't find James and Mr. Kent is-"

"James is in a room with Inspector Carson." Anna opened her mouth to speak again but bit her tongue when John's kisses pressed to her neck and trailed down toward the bodice of her dress to leave kisses over her exposed skin. "And I'm fine, mother. I just… I needed some time alone before I speak to the Inspector."

"Do you need anything? Should I come in and-"

"No!" Anna forced herself to breath through a renewed attack by John's fingers between her legs running over soaked folds before pressing on her clit. "I mean… I'm sorry mother but I can't… I can't see anyone at the moment. It'll compromise the statement I give the Inspector."

"Oh I see." A sigh on the other side of the door hid a similar one Anna let out as John dragged his fingers away from her but she almost bit a hole in her cheek when he replaced his fingers with the pulsing heat of his arousal to run through her slick folds. "Then I'll just have your father take Mr. Kent to the pub. It'll calm his nerves and James can bring you home when you're both through."

"Yes." Anna could have swore her voice squeaked as John drew back and forth between her folds, leaving her aching and grinding against him. "He will."

"Alright. And Anna?"

"Yes?" Anna's fingers curled almost tight enough in John's jacket to allow the whites of her knuckles to shine in the darkness of the room.

"I'm so sorry about this evening."

"Me too mother." Anna sighed as John pulled back, his lips leaving her skin. "I'll be home later, I promise."

"Just tell them the truth and we'll put all this behind us." A pause left Anna holding her breath. "I love you Anna. Be home as soon as you can."

"I will." Anna sighed when the retreating footsteps muffled through the door. "I think she's gone. We can-"

All words left her as John thrust forward. Between the door at her back and John's weight holding her stable, Anna let out a tiny sob at the sensation of John reaching the end of her. Of his hands caressing her legs and pulling them wider about his hips so he could thrust and grind deeper. Of the door at her back thumping in time to John's punishing pace. Of the dotting of kisses over her skin again until all Anna could do was clutch at him and angle her hips so each of John's pounding drives hit the end of her and rubbed against her clit at the same time.

When she fell over the edge the second time, it was a rush. Like a waterfall as opposed to a gentle stream. And all Anna could do was quiver and tremble around John as his body finished and he sank into her. They only remained standing because the door provided one side to the triangle they made and their angle provided enough support to keep them upright.

After a minute or two, John helped lower Anna to the ground and she tried to reset herself in the darkness. Darkness that forced her to crack the door just enough to see in the dim sliver of light it allowed. She reset herself, trying desperately to appear as though she did not just shag someone against a door, but Anna realized she would have to pass off the distressed appearance as a result of the fight in the ballroom. No other excuse would do.

She turned to John, her hand reaching for his face, and laid her other hand over his heart. "Thank you."

"I didn't do anything."

"You were here." Anna tried to smile but blinked back tears instead. "You're always there when I need you. Even if I don't know I need you."

"And I always will be." John took her hand from his face and kissed her palm before kissing the back of it. "However, wherever, whenever."

"Why are you so wonderful?"

"Because I love you, Anna." John opened his mouth to speak again but drew back into the dark. "I'll come later."

"What?" Anna frowned and then turned to see the door at the other side of the corridor open to allow James and Inspector Carson out. "John?"

She turned back but he was gone, vanished into the dark. And even when the door opened to admit more light, James's hand pushing on it, John was nowhere to be seen. A fact that gave Anna a touch of comfort as she followed Inspector Carson into her interrogation.

It last more of the evening than either of them wanted to give but despite the forwardness of Anna's answers, none of them proved satisfactory to Inspector Carson. He questioned everything and wore Anna down to the point she almost related the entire farce that was her life from abduction to the moment she sat across the table from him. It took the combine presence of James- irritable and exhausted- and Talbot with his arm in a sling to free Anna from the questioning.

She and James did not speak on the ride home and they barely kissed before she entered her house. Her mother was asleep on the sofa in the library but roused when Anna arrived home. Coincidentally her father stumbled in slightly later, holding tightly to her mother as they climbed toward their room.

Anna watched them go before entering her room. A room empty and stark compared to the excitement of the evening. An evening she tried to rinse away with a sponge bath but her body still vibrated with the residual tension and the sexual release from earlier. One she prayed would allow her to sleep but the darkness brought nothing but suffocating silence.

Pushing from her bed, Anna paced her room in an attempt to exhaust herself with the energy of movement. Energy that almost distracted her from the sound of the window pushing up enough to allow a body to enter her room. A body she took in with a smile as John stood before her.

"I'd hoped you'd be asleep by now."

"Couldn't." Anna held up her hand and, even in the low light, they could both discern the tremor there. "Whatever that fight brought out in me… It's not gone away. I can't seem to find a way to rid myself of the energy."

"Let me." John offered Anna his hand and she took it so he could lead her to the bed. "Take off your clothes and lie on your stomach."

Anna followed his instructions and made herself as comfortable as her still-vibrating body would allow. The depression and squeak of the bed signaled John joining her and his knees settled on either side of her hips. They held her secure as his hands began to smooth over her back before his knuckles dug into the muscles.

She bit into the pillow at the pain. The dig of the sharp points of his knuckles forcing her to try and twitch out of his reach. But John waited and his weight over her held her still until she took more of his deep tissue massage. A massage that eventually relaxed the muscles in her body so the tension eased out of her limbs and torso. Eased with each move of his hands until her entire body was nothing but gelatin under his touch.

The heaviness of his breathing echoed differently than hers and Anna blinked past the desire to sleep under the comfort of her now fully relaxed body to understand it. To fully comprehend John's arousal resting on her lower back. And to appreciate the ghosting kisses he moved over her back.

"Let me see you." Anna whispered and John shifted enough for Anna to lay on her back. "I want to see you."

"I want to see you too." John leaned over her, accepting the pull of her legs wrapping over his hips to bring him closer. "For I never will again."

"Why?"

"Because, after tonight, I know it's not safe anymore. I can't wait." John's fingers trailed over Anna's face and she blinked back the tears reflected in his eyes. "Green'll make it worse for them and so will Braithwaite. If I wait then people will die and I can't delay any longer."

"And that means I'll never see you again?"

"By the time I return, you'll be married to Kent." John sighed, "He's a good man, Anna. I saw the way he looked at you, wanted to protect you, and protected the others in that room. He's a good man for you."

"He's not you."

"No, he's not." John kissed both of Anna's eyes. "But he'll love you as best he can and you'll love him. And that'll have to be enough for all of us."

"I don't want you to go but asking you to stay…" Anna shook her head, "I wouldn't be so cruel."

"And I wouldn't stay because that would kill us both and I couldn't bear that." John sighed, bringing his lips close to hers. "We'll take this night and that'll be what we have. It'll have to be enough."

"You're more than enough." Anna's fingers curled into the hair at the base of John's scalp. "You were always more than enough."

Their lips came together as their hands moved over bare skin. They raced to trace every dip and curve and mark as if they wanted remember the other in full. To keep them locked in the depths of their minds until nothing could tear them apart or take away the moments they shared.

Anna's back arched and her fingers dug in John's hair when he took his lips between her legs and used his tongue to bring her over the edge of climax once. And then allowed his fingers to help him do it a second time before lapping up the evidence of his work with determined strokes that left Anna twitching and fizzling around him. Left her with barely enough energy to encourage him back to her lips.

But he refused her, stopping instead at her breasts to leave her clawing over his shoulders and raking her nails down his back as his fingers managed to manipulate her folds and work between her clenching vaginal walls until the combination left her burying her cries in the pillow by her head. Cries that barely ended when John kissed her again and fit himself perfectly along her. Aligned them both to sink deeply into her as Anna raised her hips to angle them so they could move no further

They barely shifted. Each attempt John made to withdraw or return for another thrust had Anna tightening her internal muscles or locking her ankles behind his ass or digging her nails deeper into his flesh. All she allowed him to do was grind and gyrate against her but with the heightened tension in her body and the rub of his pubic bone against her clit, it took nothing for her to release again. And John followed so soon after that, moving as slowly as they possibly could, that they could only stare at one another in the darkness.

It took the inching gray light of morning to convince John to leave. To allow Anna to finally let him go. With a final kiss he was through the window and only the shadow of him remained in the chilling room as the early morning air permeated the space.

Anna threw the windows open and washed herself with the same basin of water before tearing the sheets from her bed. She barely noticed when Gwen entered and only stopped her process when Gwen's hand landed on her arm. Blinking at the other woman, Anna finally noticed the fog of her breath on the air and dropped the sheets to the floor.

"Sorry."

"It's been a busy few days Miss Anna." Gwen swallowed. "I'll get new linens and make sure these are… disposed of properly."

"Thank you." Anna sat in one of the chairs of her room. "Any news?"

"Mr. Kent, the younger, will be here after breakfast as there's to be a press conference. They're all eager to hear about last night but he sent a message ahead saying he's already prepared a statement and you'll not have to speak at all."

"Good." Anna rested her elbow on the chair, leaning into her hand. "Do you think he'd mind a holiday? We'd go to Brighton or somewhere and just spend a few days to allow all this to die down enough for us to be married without a circus."

"I think they'll be a circus anyway but…" Gwen shrugged, "A holiday could be exactly what the two of you need."

"I think so too." Anna stood. "Alright, what should I wear like armor today?"

They managed to get Anna dressed and fed before James came in his carriage to pick her up. She blinked in surprise at the sight of Talbot in the carriage as well but tucked herself closer to James. "Sorry for last night."

"We were both exhausted." He managed a smile. "This… Engagement hasn't been easier on either of us."

"You can blame that on me I think." Anna sighed, "But I was thinking. We could take a small holiday. We'll be married in less than a month but we need time to ourselves. Away from these parties, this news, and all the… Mess here. We could go somewhere quiet and just be ourselves for a time."

"I'd like that." James covered her hand with his. "The seaside. Where there's only the crash of the waves and the salt on the air for company."

"Sound beautiful." Anna turned to Talbot. "How's your shoulder?"

"It'll heal." He nodded at her, "Thank you."

"We should be thanking you for saving us." James extended his hand and Talbot took it with his good hand. "Without you we could both be dead now."

"And without Anna I'd be dead now." Talbot shrugged and then winced, "It's all even on that account."

"But not on all accounts." Anna held his focus, "Not yet."

"Not yet."

They arrived at the venue and James helped Talbot out of the carriage before helping Anna. Intertwining their hands, they entered the building and wove between the calling voices and flashing cameras to reach the podium where Mr. Kent fielded questions. He stepped aside with a brief introduction for his son and Anna squeezed James's hand as they took their places behind it.

He cleared his voice, nodding at the audience, and pulled a card from his jacket. "My names is James Kent and in regard to the events from last night, I just want to address a few questions and then we'll-"

A shot rang out and James pushed Anna to the side before he grunted. Grunted and stumbled back off the raised platform. The room turned into a mass of screams and cries as Anna crawled over the erected floor to drop over the edge to where James lay. Where his chest tried to fill and he twitched as his shirt and jacket bloomed a red to clash with the deep blue of his suit.

"James!"

Anna tore open his shirt and snatched his handkerchief to press to the seeping wound. She pressed there until larger hands took over hers. A glance confirmed what she thought when her eyes met John's. Met them before a hand wrapped her waist and pulled her up and away.

"We've got to get you away Anna." Talbot's voice was in her ear and Anna barely turned into him before he nodded back at John. "That man'll take care of James. You were the target and I've got to get you out of here."

"Was it-"

"It was the woman from last night." Talbot shook his head as they hurried through a side entrance and skirted a mass of crazed and frightened people. "Her eyes had murder in them Anna and she's coming for you."

They made it to the back alley and Talbot pushed Anna away for a moment to block the door so no one would follow their escape. An escape that had Talbot turning toward her and raising his hand to point in a direction until someone moved behind him. Dropped behind him, more like, and brought the weight of a rifle butt down on the back of Talbot's head.

He fell forward, sprawling into the puddles in the alley as Braithwaite raised the gun and pointed it at Anna. "He wasn't wrong. Just about how I intended on following you."

Anna raised her hands, "You'll kill me in this alleyway?"

"I would but…" She lowered the rifle slightly to shrug and looked at a spot just behind Anna's head.

Anna turned and tried to school her breathing as she faced Green. "You didn't think I was done with you after last night, did you?"

"I'd hoped."

"Well," Green brought something from his pocket and before Anna could knock it from his hand he had it over her nose and mouth. The choking scent blocked her ability to breath and Anna's brain panicked as it sought for air. Struggled for it despite the black spots behind her eyes. "Then you were a fool."


	12. Returning to a Not so Happy Home

Blinking slowly only dissipated a fraction of the pain echoing through her head. But once she could discern clear shapes, Anna allowed her eyes to move and seek a better understanding of her surroundings. Surroundings that seemed to shake and rock until the rocking echoed rolling motions.

Like those of a boat.

She sat up and immediately rested back against the bulkhead at her back with the rush of nausea that accompanied the swift movement. With her eyes closed, Anna forced herself to breathe through the desire to vomit, but it did not work. Scrambling to her feet, and stumbling with a swell of a wave, Anna held the side of the boat before emptying her stomach into the waves.

Her hands shook as she flexed her fingers, to better secure her grip, but her sense of security shattered when they hit a wave that washed bone-chilling water over her. Anna's feet slipped and she hit the deck hard on her side. The world spun again, in no way helped by the rocking of the boat, and she groaned while flailing for the side of the boat to try and empty her already cramping stomach into the chopping waves instead of all over herself.

Hands grabbed under her armpits and helped her up, holding around her side as Anna almost tipped halfway out of the boat to vomit again. On her way back up, her legs still wobbling between her nausea and the roll of the waves, a wash of seawater hit her and forced some of the salty brine down her throat. Stumbling back onto the deck, retching and hacking to try clearing her throat, Anna blinked at her aide and possible savior… Or captor.

The man watched her and when Anna backed away, almost tripping herself on a coil of rope, he slipped forward to help her. One of his hands grabbed hers and when Anna reached for the other she realized he had no other hand. The man's right hand was replaced by a hooked apparatus and she instinctively felt under her arm for where it had gripped her.

They stared at one another before he pointed, with his good hand, toward the cabin. "Shall we?"

Anna could only nod and followed the man into the cabin, shivering as the cold and wet finally breached her skin and through her fear-laced adrenaline to bring on her shock. She half-collapsed onto a stool and tried to hold herself to stop the shivering and shaking that immediately took over her but nothing could stop it. It tipped her sideways and she sprawled over the floor.

A thick blanket covered her, followed by something that smelled of oil and waterproofing, before hands wrapped it around her. Or, more specifically, one hand and a hook. Anna's shaking fingers pulled them tighter around herself as she sat back against the wall and watched the man.

In the light of the cabin she noted his dark hair, his icy eyes, and the almost permanent purse to his lips. His eyes narrowed as he studied her before offering a snort. "And here I thought you'd drown a long time ago."

"Do I know you?"

"Not as well as you knew John but…" He paused, "Wait, do you not remember me? At all?"

Anna shook her head, "There's a lot I don't remember."

"Because they used chloroform on you?" He shook his head, "I told them it was dangerous but they never listen to me. Even rowing them from the dock to the boat, with you in the bottom of it, was…"

"I'd rather not hear the details of my abduction, if it's all the same to you." Anna tried to sit sideways, seeking a comfortable position on a damp floor that bore the hint of fish in its overall smell. "I'd hazard it's the same way they did it the first time they took me."

"Quite nearly." The man sat across from her, drawing his legs toward his chest and resting his arms on his knees. "They learned the lock trick from me. I was an idiot and didn't know I was helping with any of it."

"What?"

The man blinked. "The lock trick. It's… You set the lock to almost fall and then pull the door or window hard enough to force the lock into place when it closes. It's a simple trick but it drives people mad when they think you slipped in like a shadow and stole everything." He bit at his lip, "That's why they got me. Lockpick and petty thief. Nabbed me for what they were doing but saw my value beyond that."

"Were you a… teacher?"

He snorted, "Please. I may not've been trained like they were training you, Anna, but I got my licks in same as you. I taught you how to pick a lock."

"I'm sorry," Anna shook her head, "I don't know you. I don't remember a lot of what happened."

"It'll come back to you."

"No, I don't think you understand." Anna adjusted her seat again, trying to ease the pain working through her body as it constantly sought equilibrium on the rolling boat. "I've not remembered most of what happened to me the first time I was taken. It was ten years ago and I'm… I'm almost as ignorant now as I was then."

"Then…" His mouth opened slowly, his jaw flexing as if working over the words she said to make more sense of them. "You don't remember me at all?"

"I don't even know your name."

"It's Thomas."

"Thomas?" Anna nodded, "That's a good name."

"It was, wasn't it?" He snorted, "But that's not my name anymore."

"Anymore?"

"It's Hook now." He held up his right arm, showing off the metal appendage. "Cruel joke Green started after he cut off my hand."

Anna recoiled, forcing herself to breath instead of succumbing to the urge for a third round of vomiting. "Why?"

"He thought I helped you escape. I was on duty at the docks that night and you stole a boat and…" He paused, "I always thought John helped you escape but I know he couldn't've because if he did, he would've gone with you. Since he was still on the island when they found you missing I thought you did it all on your own."

"I don't know anything about sailing."

"Not now but we did some basic courses with all of you." He paused, "You really don't remember me?"

"No." Anna shook her head. "I'm so sorry."

"Or Baxter or anyone?"

"I… I remember John." Anna bit at her lip, "But I've seen him since. I almost remember Edna but she's also shot at my three times in the last month so she's a little harder to forget."

"And you remember Green?"

"He haunts my nightmares."

"Well," He huffed out a breath, "I guess it's something to be forgotten. You must've blocked us all from your mind."

"I guess I did." Anna nodded at him, "Who are you to me?"

"We weren't friends, as you'd call it, but you were always kind to me. Did me good turns I often didn't deserve but you did them all the same." He extended his left hand to her and Anna shook it.

"Did I?" Anna took her hand back, tucking back into the blanket.

Thomas nodded. "You did. I'm glad you're alive because I've missed you."

Anna frowned, "Why, exactly?"

"Specifically?" Thomas let out a breath of air. "You comforted me when a friend of mine died on the island."

"Jane?"

He blinked, "You remember Jane?"

"It… It was a session, with an alienist, that helped me remember dragging her body back in from the tide during a swimming session when she drown." Anna shivered again and pulled the blanket impossibly tighter. "Anything else I remember is just flashes and nightmares."

"Our lives are all nightmares on the island." He nodded at her, "I heard you moved on. Made a life for yourself."

"How'd you hear that?"

"Green taunts us with news from the mainland occasionally, to beat out any prevailing morale." Thomas sighed, "They've been trying to find ways to break us anew since Senior died."

"And it's worked?"

"They aren't really enough of us left from the days Senior was there to tell a difference but Green's just trying to make his mark." Thomas started as the door to the cabin opened and Green stood there. Scrambling to his feet, Thomas pointed his hook at Anna, "She almost toppled over the side when she came to. Thought she'd be safer in here."

"Helping her again, Barrow? Trying to get yourself another hook to match the first?" Green entered the space and Thomas shrank back into a corner. Anna tried to swallow past the scratch and ache in her throat as Green stepped in front of her. "I has been some time since you were on a boat, hasn't it Anna?"

"I'm not much for water travel."

"You were one of our best swimmers."

"I haven't swam in a long time." She pulled her knees to her chest, eyeing him. "I thought we had a deal."

"And I already told you, you're a fool if you believed that at all." Green snorted, "It was a bit of restraint on my part to not shoot your little dandy outside the building when we took you so consider the 'and mine' part of our deal honored."

"You knocked Henry unconscious." Anna scowled at him, "I wouldn't call that honoring the deal in any way."

"The bleeder's lucky I didn't have Braithwaite slit his throat." Green crouched down before her. "I wonder if his blood is yellow."

"All blood is red." Anna shook her head, "Why'd you shoot at me?"

"I didn't."

"But Edna did." Green twitched at the name and Anna gave a scoff of her own. "She's not under your control anymore, is she?"

"She'll learn her place. She's just been away from the island too long." He reached a finger forward, tracing along Anna's jaw for a second before she shook herself away. "Just like you."

"Whatever you think I was on your island, I'm not that anymore." Anna chewed on her cheek. "I'm not your monster."

"Only because the monster's already inside you." Green pointed at her chest. "Don't think I've forgotten what Mrs. Cotton could do to a man."

"I never killed anyone."

"And who told you that?" Anna did not answer and Green's face darkened. "I'll bet it was John. The moment he heard you were getting yourself another man he was off this island in a flash. Probably finding his way back between your legs."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh?" Green snorted his sniggering laugh. "Because you're going to pretend that when I broke you in you weren't already familiar with the process?"

Anna bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from trying to scratch the man's eyes out. "Whatever you think you know about John and I, I never killed anyone as one of your assassins."

"Then I guess there's the rub." Green clapped his hands together and stood. "He told you the truth under a caveat. One that said you didn't kill anyone as an assassin, not that you never killed."

"What are you talking about?"

"Why do you think Barrow here became Hook?" Green grabbed the metal appendage on the other man and waved it around before dropping it. "Because he helped you get away after you killed my father."

Anna blinked, her mouth opening in shock. "What?"

"The papers all claimed that an innocent girl was found wandering the moors, in late autumn, dressed in a nightgown covered in blood. But the blood wasn't hers." Green returned to his crouch, his face twisting into an ugly expression. "It was my father's and you murdered him you bitch."

"I don't remember that." Anna shook her head, "I couldn't have."

"Yes you could, since that's what you were trained to do. And of course you don't remember." Green shrugged and stood. "Because you don't remember anything. But you see, that's a gift."

"A gift?"

"Yes." Green snapped his fingers and pointed at her. "It means we can reset you again. We can uncover what's buried beneath all those lies you forced yourself to believe and then crack open your mind. You'll be Mrs. Cotton again and you'll take your rightful place on the island."

"I'd rather die."

"That's not out of the realms of possibility." Green opened his hands. "It's what kills most of the recruits."

"Prisoners."

"Say it as you want, they're no less dead." Green snorted, "Their minds crack like eggs. It's one of the reasons Braithwaite is so touchy. Her mind barely stayed together. Only string and spit and the will to please me keeps her going."

"You're sick."

"Perhaps. Or," Green walked toward the door to the cabin, "I'm a genius. There's a thin line between madness and brilliance and I walk it."

"You're imaging things."

"Bigger things than your tiny mind could ever manage to handle." Green nodded at them. "Take care of her Hook. We need Mrs. Cotton alive."

The door to the cabin shut and Anna let herself sag slightly on the floor before forcing herself to stand. She wrapped the blanket around herself enough to get to the tiny berth and rest on the edge of it. A thin mattress offered little comfort for her posterior but it was better than the floor and she could finally stretch her legs out enough to try and ease the cramping.

"Did I really kill him?" Anna looked at Thomas. "Did I kill Senior?"

"That's what they told me." Thomas sighed and took space on the stool, pulling it closer to the berth. "I… I was on duty that night, for the boats, but I left my post. I didn't hear anything about it until they caught me for 'dereliction of duty' and whipped me for it later."

"Before they took your hand?"

"There's an order to these things." Thomas shrugged, "They took my hand and then made me watch when they executed Ellis by firing squad."

"Who?"

Thomas blinked at her before shaking his head. "Ellis. Robert Ellis. He… He was another one of the recruits. He and I were… We…"

Anna put her hand over Thomas's hook but before she could change its position to his actual hand he covered hers. "I'm sorry."

"You don't even remember him."

"But I'm not immune to compassion."

"And pity?" Thomas's words almost spit but Anna moved past it.

"And kindness. Ellis… meant a great deal to you. That matters to you and it should matter to me because I seem to matter to you. And maybe one day I'll remember Ellis." Anna shrugged, "Not as you do but as I did."

"How?"

"Well…" Anna searched the cabin and pointed to a length of rope. "Hand me that and I'll show you."

Thomas raised his eyebrow at her, "Planning on hanging yourself?"

"No." Anna shuffled into a better position, wrapping the blanket around her to keep her hands free and finally shedding the boat cloak. "The alienist I visited, Dr. Seward, said the way to get past the block in my brain was to train myself around it. Use muscle memory to force hidden memories forward."

"And you're going to use a rope to do that?"

"If you taught me basic sailing then you would've taught me knots." Anna looked at Thomas, shaking her head to the side. "The last time I tried this was with a pistol. I took it apart and rebuilt it to fire at a wall as she asked me questions."

"She?"

"The alienist is a 'she'." Anna frowned, "Why?"

"I wasn't aware women became doctors."

"They do now." Anna let out a little snicker. "I guess if women can be assassins they can be doctors."

"I guess they can." Thomas crossed the small cabin to the rope and grabbed a length before handing it to Anna. "Do you need me to ask you questions?"

"You know what I should know." Anna held out the length of rope and nodded at him. "Ask away. Force me to remember while you tell me what knots to tie. It's got to be an exercise."

"Okay." Thomas swallowed, "Half hitch."

They passed the time that way. Each time Thomas assigned Anna a knot she tied it on the length of rope in time with answering Thomas's basic questions. He started with daily drills and her schedule on the island. Each time he asked about a drill, the person he asked about in the drill changed. Different operations and skills required different daily partners and set ups and as Anna recounted the skills she acquired in her training she slowly assembled a list of the people in her 'class'.

A horn sounded, bringing Anna out of her semi-fugue state, and she set the rope aside before rubbing at her eyes. "I'm exhausted."

"You won't be the only one." Thomas stood, stretching out before helping Anna to her feet. "You still don't remember it all."

"But I remember more now." Anna took a breath, "And I remember you better. That's a good start for me."

"Did you…" Thomas bit at his lip, "Did you really forget all of us?"

"I guess I did."

"So easily? We just…" He snapped his fingers and Anna shrugged.

"I don't know what happened. I don't think it was as easy and simply erasing you from my mind. Whatever happened… Whatever my mind did, I didn't choose it. Because if I had I would've been able to explain what happened. I could've sent people here to save you. To stop all of this. To…" Anna let herself deflate, "Whatever took my memories, I didn't ask for it."

"What do you think-"

The cabin door opened and both of them jumped at the sight of Green, grinning at them. "Time to shine Mrs. Cotton. Hook, get something to stop her attacking anyone and escaping again."

Anna watched Green leave the doorway before holding out the rope to Thomas. "Might as well use it."

"I…" He nodded at his hooked appendage and Anna looped the rope around her wrists before tightening it in one of the knots with her teeth. She held up her handiwork for inspection and Thomas nodded. "It'll do."

"I think I can take that compliment." Anna went to stand, leaning into the hold Thomas put over the knot in the rope and followed him from the cabin. "Is there anything or anyone else about this island I should know?"

"Plenty." Thomas shook his head as they navigated the coiled rope, supplies, and other accouterments of the boat before taking the shaky gangplank to the wooden deck. "But I've a feeling you'll be here awhile so we're not pressed for time."

Each clack of her heels on the wooden boards had Anna's mind flashing. With every blink of her eyes it was as if time bled there. One moment the watery autumnal sunshine cast the fading greenery in sharp relief and the next it was dark and she was training with other stolen children. Or she could see the wind beaten hills and scraggly copses of trees that pockmarked the rolling hills of the island before it all held assassins-in-training running their drills under shrill instructions. Even reaching the shore offered the difference between whipping wind bringing the chill tang of wintering salt brine and the urgency of her motions as she ran for the boats in the opposite direction all those years before.

Anna shook herself when she stumbled and almost tripped Thomas with her. He paused, the rise in his eyebrows the only indicator of his emotions, and Anna nodded in return. They worked up the winding dirt path to the top of the hill and stood still a moment as a blast of wind sent the grass around them whipping hard enough to leave them both bent over and squinting.

Once they could resume their posture, Anna stared at the militaristically constructed buildings, the training courses, and the endless sea around them before shaking her head slowly. "I don't remember any of it."

"But you will." Green's hand wrapped around her should, squeezing there before releasing and pointing toward one of the buildings. "Take her to hut three Hook. We need her all by herself… To make sure she's all ready for our testing process when we've got it all ready for her."

Thomas guided Anna toward the building, staying on the path and forcing Anna to follow in his exact steps. "They booby-trapped the whole island. We found that out the hard way after you left."

"Are they lethal?"

"Can be." Thomas shrugged and pulled out a set of keys to unlock the door to the cabin before leading Anna inside. "Mostly they're warnings. To us to know our place and to anyone else to stay the hell away."

The interior of the cabin held a military cot, a small pile of thin blankets, and a footlocker that boasted only drab, military styled clothing with matching boots. Anna waited for Thomas to untie the rope around her wrists and inspected the empty space while she tried to rub away the indentations in her skin. "It's big."

"This was your old bunkhouse." Thomas pointed to the empty cots, each boating only rusting springs and frames. "It's not been used since you left. They've not got the numbers and, even if they did, this is where they stick the misbehaving for solitary punishment. Make them scrub these until they shine and chip off the rust with small files."

"That's something." Anna sat on the edge of the only cot with a mattress and flailed a second as it groaned and sank deeper than she expected. "Why put me in here? Is he hoping a familiar place reawakens my memories or something?"

"Maybe?" Thomas shrugged and shook his head. "I don't pretend to know anything about what he's got planned."

"Nothing at all?"

Thomas gave another shake of his head. "He's keeping it all close, playing it right on the vest. Doesn't trust anyone."

"Not even Edna?"

"He trusts Braithwaite to do her job." Thomas cringed, "Although I wouldn't be surprised if he puts her back under again. Tries to rewire out the hate she's got for you to make her back into his perfect killing machine."

Anna bit at her lip before clearing her throat to speak. "What do you mean when you say 'out her back under'?"

"It's-" Thomas stopped when the door opened but the tension in his shoulders relaxed when a gaunt woman, with a quiet voice, made her way into the room holding a tray. "Glad it's you Baxter."

"They finally let me out because Braithwaite insisted I be the one taking care of our guest." Baxter stopped, her jaw opening at the sight of Anna sitting on the bed. "Is it really you Mrs. Cotton?"

"My name's Anna Smith." Anna stood and waited for Baxter to set the tray down before extending a hand. The woman backed away from it, wincing as if expecting Anna to retract her hand and use the back of it to slap her across the face. It cued Anna tucking her fingers back to her palm and withdrawing the gesture. "I'm sure we've probably met under different circumstances but, as Thomas'll tell you, I don't remember any of it and I apologize if I forgot about something we had."

"It wasn't…" Baxter chewed on her lip before swallowing hard. "You and I were friends, of a sort. Or whatever kind of friends you can be in a place like this."

"Were you one of the others training?"

"Heavens no." Baxter dry-washed her hands, "I was… Am, still, one of the staff here. We keep it all running around all of you… running."

"I wonder if that's worse." Anna sat back on the bed, eyeing the two before her. "Did I get you into trouble as well, when I escaped?"

"Not as badly as Thomas." Baxter tried to smile but Anna noted the twitch she made toward her shoulder, as if she would reach over and stroke a scar. One to match those that lacerated John's back… Or her own. "But since I work as Braithwaite's personal maid it's been… a challenge."

"I'm sorry." Anna put her head in her hands before recoiling at the smell and the sight of herself. "This may seem a… Rather insignificant question, but is there a washroom where I can not smell like I vomited into the sea?"

"This way." Baxter led Anna to the back of the cabin and Anna let out a breath at the sight of the squatting toilet and the showerhead directly over it. "It's only cold water so you can wait until Hell freezes over but that'll be all you get."

"That does not surprise me." Anna sighed at the site before nodding at Baxter. "How did they get you here? If you're not like Thomas or I then how…"

"I worked for a lady of the nobility, in London, and she was a great… She and Mr. Green Sr. enjoyed one another's company quite frequently."

"Oh." Anna's eyebrows rose, "I never thought of him in that way."

"I try not to but…" Baxter let her shoulders shuffle into a half-shrug. "When I was accused of stealing from my employers, as part of another scam being run in the household by one of the footmen, I faced prison. I even served a little time before Mr. Green came to me there. Offered me a new life."

"This one?"

"He wasn't specific and I didn't have the mind to ask as I should've." Baxter shuddered and pulled her arms around herself. "I was frightened in prison and I… I feared for my life there. I thought this would be better."

"Instead it's far worse." Anna bit the insides of her cheek. "I am sorry, again, for any trouble I caused you. For everything I've done to make life here worse for everyone it seems."

"Life was bad before you got away." Baxter lowered her voice and Anna leaned closer to hear her. "Between you and I, the idea that you escaped gave everyone hope. It made it all a bit more bearable because if you did it then maybe… Maybe the rest of us could escape as well."

"But no one has."

"Not yet." Baxter pointed at Anna, "You're back now. You could help us."

"I can't help anyone."

"I don't think that's true." Baxter straightened, touching at her hair before pointing into the shower. "I'd do that quickly, before your food goes cold. It's the only warmth you'll get for awhile."

"Thank you for the advice." Anna watched Baxter and Thomas leave before pacing the room. She removed the clothes from the footlocker and risked the frigid shower before toweling off with something akin to tissue paper. By the time she finished the warm but empty broth, exhaustion settled in and Anna tucked herself onto the tiny cot.

The cot whose dimensions reminded her of a time she struggled to remember. Of places and names and faces she could not place. And of nightmares come alive again.


	13. Mermaid Lagoon

The howl of the wind whipped her loose hair around her ears and Anna burrowed deeper into the thin coat. She squinted against the harsh wind as she watched the small class of 'recruits' battle their way in a run up a grassy hill that continued to give way beneath them. Crossing her arms to try and keep the coat tighter about herself, Anna scowled at the display before turning back to her cabin.

"It's pathetic, isn't it?" She barely twitched at Green's presence as he joined her, nodding toward the recruits. "They're nothing to you."

"They're not much to you either." Anna turned her head against another gust. "Where's your assassin?"

"She's resting." Green shrugged and leaned against the wall of the cabin. "The process of… Setting her right again isn't an easy one. It's hard on the mind and the body. She'll need time to heal."

"I'm sure you're checking on her with all the worry I hear in your voice." Anna pulled her hair back, to stop it whipping in her face, and faced him. "I'm a bit surprised you've had me here so long and you've yet to attempt the procedure on me as well."

"It's only been two days." He pushed off the wall. "There's still time."

Anna frowned and then snorted. "You're afraid it won't work. Or worse, whatever it is you did to me the first time'll break my mind." She motioned to the cabin and the failing recruits. "You're hoping seeing all this will trigger something and bring it all back to me."

"Hook mentioned you'd visited an alienist." Green shrugged, "I'm sure he gave you something to do to help you hide in your mind."

"My visit to the alienist was for an entirely different reason." Anna shook her head and stared off at the sea. "I wanted to remember, not forget. I'm already very good at that part of this."

"You didn't forget John."

"I didn't remember him when I first saw him." Anna bit the inside of her cheek to keep her jaw set. "That took time."

"And repetitive action I'd wager." Anna did not answer and Green only laughed. "As I said before, I knew it when I broke you in that I wasn't the first."

"I'm not a horse."

"Doesn't mean I can't ride you."

Green moved for Anna and she knocked his arm wide. Before he could recover she ducked low to lay a triple combination into his gut. He bent double and she grabbed the back of his neck to bring his nose solidly against her knee. The crunch had her bringing her elbow down on first one kidney and then the other before swinging it wide to knock into his jaw.

He fell sideways, hitting the ground hard. The thud had Anna breathing hard as she looked at her hands and then at Green's broken nose. A cough and then a wheeze had her letting out a breath she did not realize she was holding as he tried to speak but struggled to get around his bruised jaw.

"Bitch."

"Threaten me again and it'll be worse for you."

A groan matched his roll as he tried to get onto his hands and knees. It took a moment but he faced her, the scowl marred by the flashes of pain leaving him wincing and cringing with each motion. "I thought you didn't remember."

"That was training from my 'dandy', as you called him." Anna shook her head and tucked herself back into her coat. "I don't remember what you taught me but I made damn sure you wouldn't get a chance to 'teach' me again."

She waited but he only groaned and rolled onto his back. Shaking her head, Anna walked away from him and toward the other cabins. In her two days of captivity there had been no rules about where she could and could not go so Anna took to walking over the island. Seeking, as Green was, anything to trigger a memory. But, unlike Green, she wanted her memories to remember how she escaped him. How she returned home as she hoped to do again now.

Wandering to one of the cabins, set away from the others and closer to the buildings she might mark as 'administration', Anna knocked on the door. No one answered and she leaned closer to the door to knock again. Even straining she could hear nothing so Anna turned the knob and walked inside.

Something cracked down on her skull the moment she entered and Anna tottered sideways. Another swipe barely missed her as Anna ducked sideways into a table and bruised her hip. Bent double and holding her head as stars continued to explode in front of her eyes, Anna rounded the table and pushed it hard into her attacker. It struck solidly and the shape slowly clearing in her vision hit the floor.

Anna blinked, her head pounding in time to the throb on her hip from the edge of the table, and saw Braithwaite. The woman blinked slowly as her grip on a training weapon loosened and the wood rolled to the floor. But, as Anna risked stepping around the table to investigate the weapon, she noted it was a broken broom handle.

She picked it up, testing it's heft in her hand, before tossing it back onto the table and standing between it and Braithwaite. A groan came from the other woman and Anna let her hand drop from where it still held the side of her head. Lack of blood there only temporarily satisfied her as the pain continued unabated.

"What do you want?" Braithwaite moaned from the floor, her eyes rolling a bit in her sockets. "I did everything you asked."

Anna frowned and risked crouching next to Braithwaite. "Edna?"

Her eyes opened fully and she squinted before blinking in surprise. Her hand reached out and Anna withdrew out of her reach. The hurt in Edna's eyes surprised her as she sat up. "Anna? Why… Why are you backing away from me?"

"Call it professional courtesy." Anna jerked her thumb behind her to indicate the broken broom handle. "You took that to my skull just moments ago."

"I did?" Edna blinked before rubbing her gut. "I guess that's why I feel like…"

"Like?"

"Like you pushed a table into me before I cracked my head on the floor." She reached out a hand and Anna took it, helping the other woman up. "You've lost your touch if I could get a hit in on you."

"Have I?" Anna helped Edna to a cot that matched the one in her cabin. But this one, on cursory glance, was a bit more lived in. Smaller than hers, made for only a few people instead of a batch of recruits, and featuring little baubles and trinkets.

"Like them?" Edna snorted as she gingerly sat back on her cot and pointed to a chair for Anna. "They're the only things that keep me sane here."

"Does it work?"

Edna's shoulders wobbled as if indicating a see-saw of emotions in a single motion. "It's enough to keep me a bit on the level. Most of the time I've no idea what's going on. The world's a blur and I only get a few moments of clarity."

"I take it that…" Anna stopped herself saying the name aloud. "Your 'other self' is a bit more dominant."

"You know about her?" Edna blinked at Anna. "You've met her?"

"Have you?"

Edna shook her head, "That's not how it works. Not once it… Set, you know."

"Honestly, no, I don't know." Anna took Edna's hands. "I don't remember all of what happened here. I've got details, facts, and a few nightmares but most of it is gone. I don't know what I was here but I know I remembered your name when your… Other self, tried to kill me in London a few months ago."

"I'm not sure I can help you." Edna rubbed at her stomach again and Anna noted the tiny scratches on her hands, the traces of whitened scars over her face and neck, and the ginger motions that betrayed injuries barely healed or healed incorrectly. "I didn't resist like you did."

"What does that mean?"

"Well…" Edna gave a sigh. "They started us early. They wanted to control our thoughts and actions so they began the training. It wasn't just getting us up at different times of the night and forcing us to run or assemble guns or whatever. It was when they'd take us from one another. There was a dark room and they'd hold us in there until we forgot how long we were there. The entire time they'd come in, never at the same intervals, and torment us."

"Abuse?"

"Nothing like the abuse we got when we disobeyed." Edna shuddered and Anna reached for a blanket to wrap around her. "It was more… Interrogation. They'd slap us, demand facts about us, and insist we were lying. It… It drove some of us mad. So mad we were completely unable to continue and they'd have to resort to other means to make us useful again."

"Us?"

"Yes." Edna turned to Anna, blinking before a shift took over her features. Anna pushed herself back in the chair, out of reach of the other woman, and stood up as Braithwaite cackled. "She was always so easy to repress. She can barely hold her own in her mind. It was child's play to come out."

"How much of that was her?"

"You were always the better of the two of us, as Senior always insisted." Braithwaite leaned back on the cot, nodding at Anna. "You tell me."

"The plural pronoun would be my guess. The rest of it seemed… Beyond you. You're not the kind of actress who could pull it off." Anna paused, "Blunt instruments rarely have the talent for delicate work."

Braithwaite snarled and lunged at Anna. In a twist, Anna was off her chair and spinning it around to grab the back. Before the other woman could approach her, hands shaped like claws, Anna had the legs of the chair pointed at Braithwaite. She maneuver into a charge that drove the other woman back into the wall and held her there. With her arms trapped between the legs and the crossbar of the legs too close to her neck to maneuver free, Braithwaite only spit and hissed at Anna.

Anna pressed it harder against the woman's throat until she gasped and then eased her hold. Braithwaite scratched at the chair but Anna's arms held it steady and kept the woman contained. "Now that I've got your attention, I'd like more answers if you please."

"You won't like what I've got to tell you."

"Why not?" Anna shrugged, "We're back where Green wanted both of us. We're in his clutches, like you seemed to want, and we've nothing but time as you try to reassert control over your body."

"I'm always in control of this body."

"I highly doubt that." Anna nodded toward the baubles and trinkets. "These are the totems of someone a bit more… kind that you tend to be. I don't think you're the kind for trophies that didn't bleed first but there's no trace of those here."

"Then you don't know me."

"I'm ready for an introduction, if you're willing." Anna loosened her hold on the chair, sliding it down to press on Braithwaite's chest instead of her throat. "Whatever they did to you, they plan to do to me."

"Are you expecting my pity?"

"I wouldn't be so stupid." Anna took a breath, "I want to know what it means. What they'll do to me."

"They make you better."

"You don't look better." Anna eyed Braithwaite, "You look divided. How'd they do that?"

"Interrogations."

"The ones they'd take us to in the middle of the night?"

"That's right." Braithwaite's eyes narrowed as if she studied Anna. "But you've forgotten all of that. Or… A part of you did."

"What does that mean?"

"At the party you were… Well, you were magnificent."

"I was desperate."

"But you fought back." Braithwaite's eyes glinted, as if excited by something. "You were like you were here. Not responding to the training of that government stooge but in your element."

"There and not when I tackled you in that garden?"

"That was a move any training would get you. Like the training that had you saving your pitiful fiancé from my bullets in that photography studio." Braithwaite snorted, "You think he's worth saving and marrying?"

"He's worth a lot more than anyone's giving him credit for." Anna pressed the chair against Braithwaite until the woman wheezed. "But we're not talking about James. We're talking about what you mean."

"I mean that you were a trained creature there. Responding to those drills and exercises your man helped you learn. The ones your body wanted to practice again but not in the same way."

"What does that mean?"

"You were mechanical, obedient, all muscle memory and no grace." Braithwaite sighed. "I envied you here because you were elegant. You could assemble a weapon, fire, disassemble, and be away in minutes. It was like watching ballet or a gliding swan."

Her face contorted a moment, as if fighting conflicting emotions. "It's why I hated you. You and your natural talent stopped me at every turn. You took everything from me."

"It wasn't intentional and I didn't want it."

"But Mrs. Cotton did."

Anna paused, her grip loosening for a moment. Braithwaite took the opportunity to shove against the chair. It knocked Anna back a few steps and left Braithwaite free to grab for the broom handle again.

She brandished it as her weapon and Anna held the chair as her shield. They circled for a moment before Braithwaite made her first strikes. Each one struck solidly, sending vibrations up Anna's tiring arms as she maneuvered the awkward chair to deflect each of the swipes. But as they circled one another in the small space, Anna took the sliver of an opening. The opening that allowed her to tangle the broom handle in the legs of the chair.

Catching it between the crossbeams and slats, Anna pivoted around the chair and brought her elbow down hard enough to crack the wood of the broom handle. It splinted and the ends shattered with another blow before she dropped the chair. With the moment of surprise, Anna put both hands forward and shoved them hard enough into Braithwaite's chest to send her back into the wall.

She bounced off and Anna was on her in a moment, her forearm across the other woman's throat while her hand trapped her wrists. "I was trying to have a civil conversation and you continue to ruin it."

"Finally, you understand how I feel."

Anna grunted and released Braithwaite, stepping away to kick the bits of the broom handle away before rounding on the woman massaging her throat. "You're trapped here same as me."

"Only if you consider me trapped."

"Don't you?" Anna pointed at Braithwaite before tapping her own temple. "You don't think you're a little bit cracked up here?"

"We're all mad here."

"Don't." Anna shook her head, "Don't lump me in with your brand of madness. I'm not mad."

"So you want to tell yourself." Braithwaite let her hand fall away from her neck. "You want to badly to think you escaped here unscathed you only dabble around the edge of finding out the truth."

"Dabble?"

"Because you don't want to know what you were or what you did."

Anna bit hard on the inside of her cheek. "Green already told me that I killed Senior. How could it be worse than murder?"

"You're the one worried that you've lost yourself." Braithwaite's smile turned into a leer. "That you were never yourself to begin with."

"And you're the one with the answers to that question, are you?"

"No." Braithwaite pointed at Anna's head. "You are. Or, more correctly, Mrs. Cotton is."

"And what would this phantom tell me?"

"Who you really are." Braithwaite shrugged. "We're not the kind of people who were taken for convenience."

"No?"

"No." Braithwaite scoffed. "There are hundreds of urchins and orphans filling the streets and workhouses and orphanages the nation over. Do you really think they needed just anyone for this?"

"I'm getting the uncomfortable feeling you're going to tell me why they chose you and I."

"I know we were in the same group they brought in. You and I came here in the same boat. Or…" Braithwaite frowned, making a show of furrowing her brow. "Edna and you were. Made yourselves fast friends in that boat as you clung to one another in terror of what lay ahead."

"I'd imagine you're the kind of person who relished what 'lay ahead'."

"If it'd been me in charge of Edna that day, we would've wiped the bottom of the boat with you and the sobbing mess you were." Braithwaite paused, "But since it's hardly a fair fight to attack or even attempt to kill one such as yourself, perhaps we should wait for another time to discuss this."

"You'll be sent away the moment Green thinks you're ready for duty again." Anna shrugged, "What's the harm in a little more conversation between friends?"

"Is that what you think we are?"

"It's what we've got, for the moment, since I can't quite consider you my enemy yet." Anna folded her arms over her chest. "I'm sure you've got a place in mind that you think might jog some memories."

"Of course I do." Braithwaite bent, reaching for one of the pieces of broom handle. "I'm sure you'd agree that we're not stupid enough to travel to a part of the island you barely remember unarmed."

Anna rolled the piece closest to her under her foot before kicking it into the air to catch. "You're right. That would be stupid."

They left the cabin, Braithwaite bundled in a thin coat and a blanket with Anna following close behind. Their trek took them away from the sounds of training and down into one of the valleys that bore all the signs of a seasonal bay that filled or emptied with the tides. Tides that Braithwaite avoided as they skirted the edge of the pool to enter one of the slick caves.

It darkened quickly, the weak light from the exterior offering nothing once they walked more than a few paces forward, but Anna kept her free hand to the wall and her ears perked to listen for Braithwaite's movements. Eventually she could trace the outline of the woman ahead of her as they entered a chamber lit by numerous tiny holes dotting the rock roof. Holes the dripped in awkward rhythm with the lap and trickle of water that flowed around the bottom of the cavern.

"Cozy spot." Anna followed Braithwaite into the middle of the room. "Not what I thought you had in mind for my execution but I guess you can't have an audience for everything."

"If I meant to kill you, I would've stabbed you in my cabin."

"How kind of you to abstain." Anna walked around the edges of the room, flinching at each drop of frigid water. "What is this place?"

"This is where we'd go when they thought we were ready to become who they needed us to be." Braithwaite opened her arms. "Welcome to the final test."

"I never took it." Anna adjusted her hold on the broom handle. "Why bring me here? What's in it for you?"

"You said you wanted answers and so do I." Braithwaite studied her. "If I want to fight you, to prove I'm better than you, then I need Mrs. Cotton. Not whatever wastrel you've become."

"Is that what you think I am?" Anna faced Braithwaite. "I'm so honored you even think I'm worth the breath."

"I'll admit, whatever training your dandy gave you-"

"Alright," Anna held up a hand. "This is a really insignificant fact but the truth is that Henry isn't a dandy. He's a man and he's… His interests are fully for women and not men."

"Then you've had him."

"Don't be disgusting. Henry's barely my friend these days and before I considered him one of those he was my trainer." Anna watched Braithwaite, "I don't tend to try and sleep with those who train me."

"But you slept with Alex."

"It's Alex now?" Anna snorted, "What we did wasn't the romantic encounter I'm sure your dark imaginations have tormented you with in your sleep. It was a nightmare, mine to be specific, and completely undesired."

"You wanted him." Braithwaite jabbed her finger toward Anna. "You always did and I knew I never should've told you I had an interest."

"If you think I wanted him pawing over me and violating me in the worst ways possible then you've no idea what you're talking about." Anna fired back. "I wanted nothing to do with him. I only wanted to escape and what he did to me… I could kill him for it if I had it in me. It's the only thing I'm glad I never have to remember and one of the reasons I refuse to delve into those memories."

Silence reigned between them for a moment before Braithwaite laughed. "All these years of taunting and he only took you because he broke you."

"Don't say that." Anna's hand tightened around the broom handle. "And don't ever speak of that night again. I don't want to remember it or any of the details associated with it."

"Fine." Braithwaite held up her hands. "Then I'll just tell you what you want to know. What's haunting you."

"You've no idea what's haunting me."

"You worry you're like me." Braithwaite pointed at Anna with her end of the broom handle and Anna silenced. "You worry that you're other self, Mrs. Cotton, has been inside you all along and working with Alex while you weren't aware of it."

"And you know anything about it?"

"I'm the one who knows everything about it." Braithwaite tapped her temple. "I'm the one living the life you fear you have. Split like Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde."

Anna flexed her fingers against the broom handle. "Am I?"

"Not like me." Braithwaite let out a breath, "One of the reasons I hate you."

"You blame me?"

"Your mind was stronger than mine." Braithwaite shrugged, "It was why they picked you, you know."

"What do you know about that?"

"That our abductions weren't an accident." Braithwaite pointed to herself. "My mother was Senior's mistress. Got him into a bit of trouble with his wife."

Anna made a face but Braithwaite waved her down. "He's not my father. I am many things but I refuse to violate basic Biblical principles."

"Says the woman willing to murder."

"I said principles, not commandments." Braithwaite shrugged the topic away. "He knew of me and when my mother died he knew the house where I went to work. I was one of the maids in training at your father's house in Yorkshire."

"Is that part of the reason you hate me too?"

"Don't be so pedestrian. Classist frustrations aren't in vogue and with the world changing there's not much time before we're all the same." Braithwaite snorted, "All shoveling the same shit no matter where we were born. Be it in a hovel or a home, it's all the same grave."

"How very fatalistic."

"It's the world in which we live." Braithwaite sighed, "But my position in your house was no accident either. Senior banked through your father. Although I doubt your dear Daddy ever knew it. He would speak about you all the time, about your intelligence and your imagination and that turned the wheels in Senior's head."

"He wanted me?"

"He wanted what you would become." Braithwaite pointed to herself. "As a maid, I'd only ever attain a certain level of society but you… You with your schooling and your education and your intellect could reach higher. No carefully arranged assassinations at the right time in the street but someone who could get to someone in a ballroom."

"You didn't seem to suffer in that regard."

"Bringing me to the next point." Braithwaite pointed at Anna with her broom handle. "You were more adept at all this. Without rickets and deficiencies in diet or training you lasted longer. You were healthier in more than just body. The strength of your mind allowed you to divide yourself in training. You could become the machine they needed one minute and be yourself the next."

"And you couldn't?"

Braithwaite scoffed and pointed at herself. "You've seen it. I struggle to contain the other part of me that's still the frightened maid you took under your wing. The girl you cared for and hoped to save but lost to this island." Braithwaite took a turn around the space. "They call this mermaid lagoon here. Do you know why? Do you know why they'd give a name like that to a place like this?"

"I'm sure you'll tell me."

"Because this is where they'd like the broken of us die." Braithwaite pointed to one of the holes in the ceiling. "That's the one I used to escape. They left me in here to drown when they thought I was too broken to continue but I escaped. That's how I survived."

She walked up to Anna, sneering in her face. "I survived and you escaped."

"Jealous?"

"Disappointed." Braithwaite looked over Anna before shaking her head. "Why did I ever think you were someone to respect or even fear. When you had your chance you ran like a scared animal. You didn't fight for yourself or anyone else here. You left us and you did so to forget us as quickly as you could."

"As I explained to Thomas-"

"Do you think I give two shits what you 'explained' to Thomas?" Braithwaite's face changed and Anna noted the struggle to contain the emotions that forced Braithwaite back and allowed Edna forward. "I care that you promised me we'd get through this together. You swore you wouldn't abandon me. And then you left. You got away and left me here. You didn't come back for me. You didn't rescue me. And you didn't even have the decency to remember me."

She collapsed on the floor and Anna took a moment before crouching next to her on the cold, wet rock. The sobs shaking Edna's body had Anna wrapping her arms around her, as if to offer comfort or warmth through their insufficient layers, and held her. Held her in the dark and the cold until there were no more tears left.


	14. Never Bird

Her hands ached but she continued holding her knees to her chest on the creaking dock. The caves to Mermaid Lagoon opened behind her but Anna ignored them. Ignored the howling of the wind whipping through the many divots and catacombs that left it signing its siren song into the night. Instead she watched the horizon as it remained the same gray color between sea and sky.

Morning dawned and her eyes ached, watering as she blinked away exhaustion, but Anna forced herself to stare ahead. Forced herself to watch the meager attempt of the sun to rise over the edge of the world to light the corner of the ocean where they hid away from society. The place that promised to answer so many questions but remained irritatingly silent.

She started when feet hit the dock behind her but the stiffness in her shoulders relaxed when she recognized Thomas. "Come to check on me?"

"There was a concern, when Braithwaite returned and you didn't," Thomas sat on the edge of the dock with her and Anna finally relaxed her hold on her legs, their creak matching the wood under them, to allow him the room. "That you might've died. But she swore she left you alive and then the worry was that you'd found a way to kill yourself."

"So you were sent out to find me?"

"I was sent to find your body, if there was one." Thomas gestured at her, "It seems you're still breathing in it so that's something."

"It is but I'm not sure it should be." Anna shook her head, the aches of movement in her body forcing her to wince and grimace with each adjustment. "Jesus rose on the third day you know."

"And?"

"This is the third day that I've been here and I… I wouldn't dare suggest I've been reborn but there's a bit of a new self to the person you're meeting now." Anna turned to him, "I left you all."

"When you escaped?" Anna nodded and Thomas shrugged, "It wasn't as if you'd offered to help us get away and then betrayed us, Anna."

"It was to Edna." Anna pointed back toward the caves behind them. "She told me, in there, that I left her. Left all of you and forgot what happened. Made it sound like I did it on purpose to try and put distance between me and all of you."

"Was it that?"

"I don't know." Anna closed her eyes, her palms thudding against her temples. "I've wracked my brain until it aches and this spot behind my eyes burns hot enough to threaten syncope."

She dropped her hands and opened her eyes, "I have all these pieces just floating around in my head and I can't piece them together. I've got the facts and some of the faces but no memories. It's like I'm reading it in a book, making a record of the history of it without feeling it in my soul." Anna tapped on her chest. "None of this feels real. Even being here is like stepping into a dream."

"What kind of dream?" Thomas leaned back into a post, flinching when it groaned under his weight. "Maybe another venue?"

"Can't swim?"

"It's winter and it's bloody freezing so I'd rather not take a dip in the water, thanks." Thomas stood and held a hand out to Anna. "Besides, you're exhausted and I don't just mean physically."

"You're right but I can't." Anna knocked her knuckles against the dock. "I was here once, with John. Of all the things about this miserable place I remember it's that. A dream of night I first met John on this dock."

She pointed up the hill. "I'd come down from my cabin and came here to swim. I left my nightgown right over there and swam to this dock to look out over the sea. I saw the lights from passing boats like mirages in the desert and wondered if I could risk my strength in those waves to save myself. And then he found me here. Said I borrowed his boat cloak."

"He always did leave it here." Thomas let his hand skate over one of the posts. "He trained me with a skiff here. Taught me to sail."

"Between them bringing us here to break our spirits?" Anna pivoted to look up at Thomas, leaning on the opposite post. "Or was it our minds?"

"It was both and no, they…" Thomas shook his head. "When they weeded people like John and I out of your 'program' they made sure our parts in it were different. They didn't want us involved in the details in case we proved a little more dexterous in our escapes."

"You were planning to escape?" Thomas nodded and Anna forced herself to stand. "When? Where? How?"

"John had worked it all out. Said I was to get myself, Ellis, and his mother off the island. To find help and sail it back here once we were safe." Thomas bit at his lip, "I'm glad you took the boat that night."

"Why?" Anna blinked at him, "I took your escape?"

"Yes."

"Then why would you be glad I…" Anna put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "I'm the reason Ellis is dead. I'm the reason your-"

"Don't." Thomas shook his head. "Please don't say it."

Anna closed her mouth and nodded as Thomas took a moment. His hand quivered as it covered his face and he managed a few shaking breaths before he finally risked speaking. "I wasn't going to come back. I might not've even taken John's mother with us. I was… I was going to get myself and Ellis on a skiff and sail away. Sail far enough they'd never find us and never come back." Thomas lowered his hand, "I was going to leave everyone, Anna. I never would've come back."

"But you didn't."

"I couldn't." Thomas shook his head, "The boat John planned to give me was the one he made you take. By the time I got back to the dock the boat was gone, you in it, and suddenly they all thought I was how you escaped."

"And you…" Anna stopped herself, eyes flicking to Thomas's hooked appendage. "You lost your hand for that lie."

"I felt like I deserved it, for being selfish." Thomas managed to force a laugh through his tears. "At least you never made promises you planned to keep. Whatever providence you found that night was… It was my penance. It's why I can't hold it against you or agree with Edna."

"No?"

"No." Thomas shook his head. "You never betrayed us. You did what you could for you and… And I don't know what happened to you after you left but if you'd remembered us Anna, I think you would've come back for us."

"I'd like to think that's true."

"Wouldn't we all?" Thomas and Anna turned, facing Green at the other end of the dock. "Wouldn't all the rotten miscreants here have loved to think the great Savior Anna Smith was coming to save them?"

"I'm not that."

"But you are a master of escape." Green pointed at Anna, walking down the dock toward them. "Somehow you managed to steal yourself a boat and get it away from this island. You avoided all of our patrols, all of the boats in the shipping lanes, and guided it home. Got yourself back to the moors too so they could find you and… No matter how many times I run the idea through my mind, I never can devise how you did it."

"When you happen upon a solution," Anna brushed at herself, finally noticing the chill in the air. "Why don't you let me know? It's been a nightmare trying to figure it out for myself."

"Did your alienist not help?"

"She gave me the tools to find the facts, not dig out the memories." Anna moved to get off the dock but Green blocked her path. "I do hope you're not going to tell me you're now certified as a psychologist now."

"I'm no such thing." Green went to drag a finger down Anna's cheek but she avoided his reach. "I'm just intensely interested in how a girl of little consequence found herself so capable in such a short time."

"Your guess is as good as mine, truly." Anna made another attempt to get off the dock but Green blocked her again. "This is rather childish."

"Says the girl who told fairy stories about her escape and rescue." Green reached into his pocket and produced a sheaf of old articles. "Care to share with those on the island the details of your grand adventure? I'm sure they'd love to hear how they're not even mentioned in your memoirs."

"Those are nothing but stories to sell papers, they're not the truth." Anna shook her head. "They're the lies the newspaper men wanted to spin as truths. They're all fake."

"They made for fascinating reading all the same." Green cleared his throat, reading the first one. "This one said you were rescued by sea creatures. Something they describe as a cross between a mermaid and a selkie when you said something about being near an ocean."

"It's not important."

"Oh," Green held up his other hand, one finger pointing toward the sky, "But it is. It's very important. Because this one says it was a bird."

"A bird?" Thomas snorted, "That's ridiculous."

"As ridiculous as you trying to agree with John to sneak away from here?" Green tucked the clippings back into his pocket and Anna stiffened, shifting herself almost imperceptibly in front of Thomas as Green approached. "Because I'm convinced it was John that got her away. That he snuck the girl he helped murder my father onto that boat and cast her out to sea."

Anna swallowed, "John had nothing to do with it."

"Oh he didn't?" Green rounded on her but Anna held her ground. "You don't think I don't know about the scars on his back? The ones that match yours?"

Anna stopped herself instinctively reaching back to brush against her skin but Green noted the twitch in her hand and sneered. "I put them there. I remember every one I gave the both of you and I know that he'd do anything to take his revenge on me. Even if it meant his poor mother suffered the consequences."

"His…" Anna paled, "What did you do to her?"

"It's more what I didn't do to her." Green gave a snort, pacing back toward the end of the dock. "See, I knew he helped you kill my father. I knew he was angry that he had to take his licks for what he did to me."

"You were lucky he didn't kill you with his bare hands." Anna bit on her jaw, trying to stop herself seething enough energy to leap forward and strangle the man herself. "After what you did to me, you got off easy when he let you live."

"Says the girl who has no idea what my father did to me for that." Green looked her over, "The one thing for which I will fight myself forever is whether to kiss your feet for murdering the bastard or kill you myself for robbing me of my father. From minute to minute the feelings change."

"Perhaps you should try to get your house in order then." Anna crossed her arms over her chest. "No one needs a leader at odds with himself."

"I'm not." Green grinned, "Because I know that John'll come for you. The idiot's got his prick thinking for him and that'll mean he's coming back for you. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow but he'll come for you. He'll not be able to help himself. And that's when I'll do it."

"Do what?"

"I'll kill him. Right in front of you." Green snapped his fingers. "That's how I'll repay you for my father's death. You'll live the rest of your life with the pain that I do. The pain of knowing someone you loved died and you could've stopped it. You could've done something."

"Don't give me ideas." Anna held his gaze. "I might take you seriously and decide that it's in the best interest of all to make sure you never live to fulfill that promise and do everyone on this island a favor when I rid it of you."

Green laughed, "And then how do you get off? How do you get away?"

"I did it once." Anna shrugged, "I'll manage it again."

"Says the woman missing her memory." Green tapped his temple. "I'm sure you remember John being a part of it. You probably remember him saving you but then what? Do you even know?"

"I know I escaped once and that's all I need to know I can do it again." Anna finally slipped by Green to get off the dock and snatched the newspaper clippings from him. "Maybe these'll jog my memory. Remind me which sea creature or moor denizen saved me so long ago."

"And do what, get them to help again?"

Anna shrugged, "It's worth the effort to try, isn't it?"

She pushed up the hill, taking the twisting path back to her solitary cabin. Once inside, Anna erected a defense over the windows and against the door with the spare cots. It would not hold against any determined assault but it provided a modicum of privacy. And, as she sat on the bed she kept in the center of the room for best defense, it was all she needed.

The newspaper articles spread around her on the cot and she studied them as the light grew and then waned. Anna looked up when the exhaustion of squinting forced her to study the sky through the slit of window she left uncovered by stacked beds. The slit of sky that rumbled and lit in a resounding explosion of thunder a moment later. Somewhere in the corner of the room a threatening drip matched the immediate pattering downpour that took over the roof and Anna sighed before stacking all the articles and tossing them into the furnace in the corner of the room. The same corner where she dragged her bed a moment later to try and keep a bit warmer in light of the sudden chill brought by the rain.

Pulling a blanket around herself, hoping the idea of it brought more warmth than the material itself ever could, Anna drew her knees to her chest and stared at the fire. The patter of rain lulled her almost in the same way watching the paper curl and fade to ash put away all the foolish thoughts. All the lies published to print and pay for papers that no one cared to read anyway.

A knock came at the door and Anna reached for the metal bar she broke from one of the beds, holding it along her arm as she walked the chill floor to her erected defense of beds. Leaning on the wall next to it, Anna turned her head and called to the outside. "Who's there?"

"It's Baxter… And Thomas is here with me. We've brought food."

Anna tucked the metal rod away and moved the barrier enough to open the door and allow the two visitors in. They barely looked at the barrier and did not comment. Instead Thomas helped Anna untangle one of the spare beds so they could form their own version of a fireside with the weak stove coughing its way through a new infusion of wood and coal.

"I didn't expect to see anyone today." Anna re-wrapped herself in the blanket, crossing her legs on the bed.

"We can tell." Thomas jerked his thumb toward her barrier. "Expecting company of another sort then?"

"I thought Green might come back for his articles." Anna shrugged and pointed at the fire. "Not that they'll do him good as ashes now but I doubt those were his only copies."

"Very likely he's got many more." Thomas agreed before frowning at her. "This isn't the kind of question my mother raised me to ask a lady but-"

"When was the last time you slept?" Baxter interrupted, forcing a bowl of soup into Anna's hands. "You look like death."

"I feel like death." Anna stirred her soup in the weak broth before taking a sip. "But I don't think I'll find sleep."

"Because of what Green said?" Thomas flexed his jaw, "Or what Braithwaite suggested at Mermaid Lagoon?"

"It's more the memories." Anna paused at the sight of their faces. "Not of here… yet. More the memories those articles brought up."

"What kind of memories?" Baxter leaned forward and Anna sipped a bit more of the soup before setting it on the floor.

"I'm not sure they're the kind of stories you'd want before bed."

"They're what we have." Baxter nodded at her, "Maybe it'll let you clear your head so you can get some sleep."

Anna sighed, nodding. "Alright, the first article he found was one of the first ones published after I was found. It was in the moors and I was covered in blood. The police, at first, thought it was my blood but the doctors couldn't find any serious injuries to cause that kind of quantity and they further suggested to a journalist that blood in that volume would mean someone was death." Anna spread her arms, "Since I was very much alive, they thought I murdered someone."

"Green thinks you did."

"Braithwaite said the same." Anna shrugged, "But at the time I didn't know where I'd been or what'd happened. I tried to argue that I couldn't murder someone and there was no proof that I had but the whispers started all the same."

"Then what?"

Anna gave a snort, "When they couldn't prove I murdered someone they suspected I'd turned to cannibalism in the moors. It was the shortest of my tenures in the paper because the police and my parents quashed all the suspicions but it was enough. I was a feral child of the moors and any disappearances in the moors in the year I was gone were laid at my feet." Her fingers pulled at one another, accidently cracking a few. "It's why we moved to London. To escape the looks."

"I remember London." Thomas gave a little smile. "It was dirty but it was home. As much of a home as I'd ever had."

"It was better for us, for a time." Anna let out a breath, "But that's where they were far more attached to the fantasy of it all. They spun tales about fairy creatures stealing me away. Some even suggested I was a Changeling taken too late and replaced within a year because they didn't have a Fey to do the job."

"Sounds almost magical." Baxter bent to retrieve Anna's soup and forced it back into her hands. "I prefer those."

"Me too." Anna used the spoon to drink more of the soup. "I guess the reality here is far different, isn't it?"

"Very." Baxter's voice quieted them all and silence reigned but for Anna finishing the bowl of soup.

"Thank you." She handed it back to Baxter before noticing the faces of the two. "What?"

"Do you…" Baxter bit at her lip. "Do you remember how you escaped?"

"The consensus is that John helped me escape and, for the little I remember, I think he did." Anna shrugged, "Otherwise I've no idea. Sometimes, when I was younger, I'd remember it as something carrying me away from this place. Other times I thought it might be some kind of gargantuan bird that then dropped me back in the moors. Occasionally I'd fantasize that a merperson or some suck had rescued me from my nightmares."

"But you don't know?" Thomas pressed and Anna shook her head.

"I took a boat, by all accounts, and then found myself in the moors. I can't tell you how one became the other." Anna paused, "Why does it matter?"

"Might've told us how we could get off this island ourselves." Thomas sighed and stood, helping Baxter do so as well. "But I guess we're back to our original plan in the absence of another."

"What was your plan?"

Baxter bit at the inside of her cheek, she and Thomas exchanging a look before she spoke. "We were just going to resign ourselves to the idea that we'd grow old and die here."

"Maybe growing old is a little generous." Thomas snorted, "I doubt we'll ever reach the point where we'd feel we were actually 'old'."

"We're already old before our time." Baxter patted his arm and motioned at Anna with the empty bowl. "I'll bring you something in the morning."

"Thank you." Anna escorted them to the door. "I don't remember either of you as well as I wish I did and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for so many things that I don't remember. But I can still thank you for being here for me despite all that."

"We've all got to stick together here." Baxter put a hand on her shoulder and Anna covered it with her own. "Even a little kindness is a victory here."

After they left Anna erected the barrier again. Once sure it was secure, and putting the metal rod where she could reach it, Anna took her spot back on the bed. With the mesmerizing glow of the fire as her company she finally lay back and shut her eyes. Tried to close her mind to all the floating thoughts until all Anna could think was about the night John helped her get away and the shadows of mythical creatures rescuing her before they all turned into John.


	15. Do You Believe in Fairies?

John pressed against the wound but the slickness against his fingers signaled the blood already soaked through the handkerchief. Tearing off his suit coat, John bunched it up and pressed over the bullet wound. A glance at James's face, gray and growing more ashen by the second, had John praying to whatever gods deigned to listen to save the poor boy caught in the middle of something he would never understand… No matter how much of her story Anna already explained to him.

James gave a little grunt and John pressed harder as shouts finally reached his ears. Someone shoved him over and he almost fought back but the sight of a nurse's uniform had him shuffling sideways to get out of their way. Almost slipping a little on the floor, John only just noticing the reality of his blood-stained clothing, he rotated around them to bump into a staggering Talbot.

They both stared at one another for a moment before Talbot grabbed for John's sleeve to keep himself upright. John wrapped an arm around Talbot and moved him around help the weaving man into a chair. Dragging a finger in front of Talbot's eyes, John noted the uneven dilation of his pupils and nodded before taking the man's face between his hands.

"Can you understand me?" Talbot barely nodded and John patted his face until Talbot seemed to focus a little more on John's face. "What happened to you?"

"I was trying to get Anna away and something…" Talbot put his fingers to the back of his head and winced before drawing them away to note the blood there. "Or someone clubbed me in the back of the head."

John put a hand on Talbot's shoulder to tip the man forward and check the back of his head. "Clubbed expertly. A bit more force and you'd be dead." He pushed Talbot back and held the man's face in his hands again. "I guess it's a bit of mercy, in a way, that you're not dead."

"Mercy?"

"Like I said, you're not dead." John let out a sigh, nodding toward the nurses treating James. "He might be in a few minutes."

"The bullet?"

"Still in him and he's bleeding enough to leave his face the color of parchment." John shook his head, continuing to study Talbot's eyes for indication that the concussion was fading, "Let's hope they are the miracle workers we need."

"Sir!" Both John and Talbot turned, John putting a firm hand on the other man's shoulder to keep him in his chair, to address the nurse with bloodied hands. "We need someone who can lift him."

"Lift him where?"

"To hospital. It's close but…" The nurse wiped at her forehead, leaving a streak of James's blood there. "We've not got time to wait for a gurney."

John leveled a finger at Talbot. "Stay here until you're not seeing double."

"I can-" Talbot tried to rise but fell sideways into the chair. "I'll stay here."

"I can leave my partner here." The nurse brought John with her to James's body, looking a little farther from death now but still barely clinging to life. "She'll make sure your friend's not going to get himself into any more injury."

"I'd be much obliged."

John bent over and lifted James into his arms, holding him close as the man groaned against his chest. The nurse nodded, "At least he's still alive."

"He's got a fiancé waiting for him." John tucked James close and followed the nurse out of the building and through the streets. "He's got to stay alive."

They hurried through the streets and into the hospital. The nurse directed John through the corridors and found an empty bed for John to leave James on. He settled James carefully on the bed as the nurse returned to them, dragging a doctor with her. Between the two of the medical professionals immediately treating James, John was shoved aside.

He eased himself to the side, watching as they operated on James and stripped the man down to his graying skin and the bloodied clothes. John leaned on the wall, only moving when Talbot eventually entered and the nurse who brought him needed someone to watch over the other man. Taking a seat next to Talbot, John leaned back and gave a little laugh. A laugh that had Talbot frowning at him through uneven pupil dilation.

"What's got you laughing?"

"It's ridiculous… When you think about it." John pointed between Talbot and James. "I'm waiting to discover the health of the two men in Anna's life before I stop being one of the people in her life."

"That's a very dismal perspective." Talbot settled on the bed, almost shifting off the cover before John stopped him rolling to the floor. "What's… What are you talking about? And who are you… Really?"

"I grew up with Anna… Sort of." John shook his head. "We were both on that island where she was taken."

"You know where it is?" Talbot grabbed at John's sleeve. "You could take me there? You could lead me-"

"Okay…" John put his hands on Talbot's shoulders and pushed him back onto the bed. "You need to not do whatever it is you're doing that's going to make your condition worse."

"Fine." Talbot almost collapsed back to the bed. "But you were on that island with Anna? You've been?"

"I was kept trapped there so I'd rather we not refer to it like I went there on a holiday." John shifted in his chair, his clothes crinkling as James's blood dried. He paused, brushing at it, and then settled. "My mother and I were sailing too close to the island and happened to stop there. After that we were prisoners."

"You were there."

John opened his mouth and then shut it. "Yes. I was there. I was there with Anna for all of her training." He blinked, the sounds of the hospital fading around him as Talbot's voice buzzed in his ears. "We were together a long time ago."

* * *

 _John tossed a rock over the water, watching it bounce and skip until it plopped into the bay. He went to select another when he noticed Anna walking over the trail, smiling to herself at the sight of him. He gave a smile of his own and found another rock to toss. As she moved toward him, John almost dropped the rocks in his hands but she held up her own to stop him._

 _"_ _Don't stop just because I'm here."_

 _"_ _I'd rather spend my time with you." John held up the rocks and before he could drop them, Anna put her hand over his and slid them to her palm. "This isn't exactly the best use of the little time we get."_

 _"_ _It's a nice way to distract myself." Anna let the rocks slide through her fingers before selecting one to skip over the water. "I need a few moments… To find myself."_

 _"_ _Was it… Worse, this time?" John almost moved is fingers toward her hand but stopped himself, holding back to give her the space she needed._

 _"_ _It was what it was." Anna took another rock and skipped it over the smooth water. "Jane died this morning."_

 _"_ _What?" John's jaw dropped, "Jane's dead?"_

 _"_ _Yes." Anna refused to look at him, refused to see the face of shock and pity he knew was naked there, and instead chose another rock to skip over the water. "I pulled her from the water. Water we never should've been in. It was dark, she wasn't a strong swimmer, and…"_

 _"_ _And?" John risked, almost clenching his jaw as he waited for her answer._

 _"_ _And she's dead because of it." Anna threw the largest rock in her hand as hard as she could. "She wasn't supposed to die! She shouldn't have been here!"_

 _"_ _Anna-"_

 _"_ _None of us are supposed to be here! We're not supposed to be these people!"_

 _John watched as she punctuated each word with a rock. When she ran out of the ones she took from him, Anna bent and pitched those on the beach under them until she finally collapsed to her knees, sobbing. He crouched next to her, waiting a moment before finally putting a hand on her shoulder, and then hurried to stop himself falling hard on his ass when she almost threw herself into his arms._

 _His arms wrapped around her, fingers dragging through her hair as she clung to him. Despite the rocks digging into his ass and legs, despite the cold of the ground under them, and despite the threat of the water coming in with the tide, John held Anna. Held her until she finally drew back from his chest._

 _"_ _We should go." She wiped at her eyes. "We'll get soaked if we stay here."_

 _"_ _Where do you want to go?"_

 _Anna looked around before nodding, "Up there. I've never been that far up and I want to see if we can finally watch a sunset together."_

 _"_ _I'd like that."_

 _John led them up to the top of the hill overlooking Mermaid Lagoon and settled them under an overhang. One that left them sitting on the softer grass while still hidden from the world around them. They settled back, Anna slotting herself at John's side, and sighing at the sight._

 _"_ _The world feels so simple here." Anna shook her head against his chest. "As if this is how it's all supposed to be."_

 _"_ _The world's not this simple." John sighed, "It's not supposed to be."_

 _"_ _But it's not supposed to be like this." Anna pushed herself from his chest. "I'm not supposed to drag my friend's body from the water when she's forced to swim into an unforgiving current because some sick bastard wants us to train to kill people for him. I'm not supposed to-"_

 _"_ _I know." John put his hands over hers. "I know."_

 _Anna almost fell limp against him. "What's it like out there? In a world where difficulty isn't this?"_

 _"_ _Don't you remember?"_

 _Anna gave a little laugh. "My life wasn't… It wasn't real. Edna, the girl who came with me, was my maid. She lived in my house and helped run it while my father worked in a bank. My mother worked as a seamstress for wealthy individuals. Neither of them had callouses on their hands or had to wake up before dawn so we could eat." She sighed, "My life wasn't life before this. I was never expected to have to work for anything. I was only going to marry, have children, and entertain society at my level. There was nothing expected of me before."_

 _"_ _And it's difficult now because you have to meet expectations?"_

 _"_ _It's the expectations they've placed on me." Anna turned to John. "They want to take me, John. They want to take what makes me… Me, and destroy it. Twist it to their own ends use me like a tool in their agenda."_

 _"_ _That's not you, Anna."_

 _"_ _And yet…" Anna shrugged a shoulder before shaking her head and turning toward the horizon. "I've never even been kissed and I'll kill someone before I've been in love with anyone."_

 _"_ _That's not true." John reached for her hand again, taking it in his and ensuring Anna's eyes met his own. "I love you and you've not killed anyone yet."_

 _"_ _You love me?"_

 _"_ _Of course." John put his hand up, almost stopping himself touching her, but finally let his fingers trace over her cheek. "I think I've loved you since the moment I first saw you on that dock, wrapped in my boat cloak."_

 _"_ _Really?"_

 _"_ _Of course." John brushed a few strands of hair from her face. "I've only fallen more in love with you as I've watched you triumph and struggle and succeed. Everything has made you more to me."_

 _"_ _Even with what I am?" Anna put her hand over his on her cheek and pulled it down to hold in her lap. "Even after all the things I've done? Or will do?"_

 _"_ _Putting your opponent on their ass isn't anything to be ashamed of."_

 _"_ _But I am ashamed." Anna's voice caught. "I couldn't imagine going back to my parents, as I am, and telling them what I've become. That I've got a shame now. That it's got nowhere to hide because it'll all get found out."_

 _"_ _What do you mean?"_

 _"_ _Imagine me sitting at a fancy dinner and then suddenly holding a knife to someone's throat because the wrong word came out of someone's mouth." Anna tapped her temple, his fingers brushing over her skin as she refused to release his hand. "They're changing me. And in that moment my shame'll have nowhere to hide because I'll be found out."_

 _"_ _Why are you talking about shame?" John tightened his fingers over hers but almost immediately released when she tensed. "There's no shame in survival, Anna. That's what you're doing and I don't see any shame in that."_

 _"_ _But I'm… I'm spoiled John. I'm spoiled for my parents, for the life they wanted to give me… For anyone stupid enough to want me now."_

 _"_ _You're not spoiled."_

 _"_ _You would say-"_

 _John gripped Anna's hands tight, despite her initial flinch, to make sure she looked at him. To ensure she saw him. "You're not spoiled, Anna."_

 _He waited again but Anna did not interrupt him. "You could never be spoiled and anyone who thinks so can sod off."_

 _"_ _John-"_

 _"_ _It's true." He lifted their hands, kissing over hers. "You're made holier, and higher, to me because of the suffering you've been put through. And I've… I've never loved you more than I do in this moment."_

 _"_ _Truly?"_

 _"_ _Truly." John swallowed, watching her face. "And if your worry is that you've never been kissed… Then maybe you've just not met the right person."_

 _Anna lifted her head just enough to look at him. "And if you were to suggest the 'right' person… Who would you say that is?"_

 _"_ _It could be anyone." John tried to smile but his nerves made his hands tremble as they held hers. "But I'd like it to be me."_

 _"_ _You… You want to kiss me?"_

 _"_ _For a very long time." John took a breath, an attempt to steady his nerves. "For as long as I've been in love with you."_

 _Anna's hands slipped from his and, for a moment, John feared she would run. Would tear herself away from him and his foolish declaration. Would never speak to him again after the admission in the dusk._

 _She did none of those things. Instead she leaned forward and her gentle fingers caressed over his cheeks. Her focus was entirely on memorizing his face, eyes cast down to take in his features until they finally met. The delicate touch of her fingers over his lips stopped John's breathing and then made it catch when those fingers fell away so her hand could frame his jaw. Firm enough to hold him steady as Anna put her lips on his._

 _John did not even breathe. His entire body tensed, taking in the experience as if fire curled gently from his toes to the top of his head. Every part of his itched and twitched to react, to touch, to hold, but he forced himself to remain still. To allow Anna the choice of continuing the kiss she initiated or drawing away and leaving it off as a poor first experiment that only satisfied the curiosity she craved or to salve the fear of never living even a fraction of a normal life after her ordeal._

 _But then he wondered if it was the wrong reaction. Anna pulled back, her fingers a little less sure on his skin, and watched him as if waiting for a reaction. It took them both a moment before they stumbled over their words in a hurry to speak._

 _"_ _That was-"_

 _"_ _I'm sorry if-"_

 _"_ _No, I-"_

 _"_ _It was-"_

 _They both managed a laugh and John put his hands over Anna's, twisting his head first one way and then the other to kiss the insides of her palms. She shivered and he did it again, more slowly this time, and watched her eyes. When he darted out his tongue to risk a taste to her, perhaps to even trace the heartbeat skittering from her wrists, John thought he had the upper hand._

 _How wrong he was._

 _Two individuals, as untutored as themselves, were a shuffling mess. But not one without its intriguing discoveries. For had them more experience they might have been deliberately slow or moved to tempt and tease one another. Instead they fit together awkwardly with fits and starts accompanied by gasps and giggles until they found what they liked together._

 _The ins and outs of their clothing proved inhibitors to their kisses, growing more sure by the second, and they huffed in mutual frustration at the simple fact of disrobing. But then they discovered the chance to explore and entice as they removed each piece. The frustrations of buttons and snaps and ties were lost in the little sighs they emitted as they continued to discover one another._

 _John wondered if there was a man on earth who was as blessed and lucky as he was. To see and feel and touch and taste the vision before him. The one he only glimpsed so long ago, on a dark night in the water, and now appreciated all the more for the soul inside._

 _An appreciation that led him to kiss every bit of skin he revealed. That had him seeking out those places and motions that left Anna gasping and pulling at his shoulders. That dug her nails into his scalp and sides as he adored her._

 _All the tools at his disposal, between teeth and tongue and touch, aided in his mission. His only quest was to discover Anna so thoroughly he would never forget her. To leave her wanting for nothing and utterly satisfied so her fears would melt away under the weight of what they found._

 _So he could save her from all of it, if only for a single night._

 _Their touches grew more hesitant the closer their bodies moved together but the desperation in those fleeting caresses took on a searing heat that neither of them could ignore. Floundering and fresh though they were, theory and instinct took over where practice had yet to set. But their desire and basic knowledge was enough to maneuver John between her legs and hover above her._

 _"_ _Are you sure?" His arms shook slightly with the tension of holding himself above her. "If you're not then-"_

 _"_ _John," One of Anna's hands settled on his shoulder and the other at the back of his neck. "I want this. I want this with you."_

 _"_ _I'll…" John cleared his throat, catching himself as an unintentional shift between them left his lungs seizing at the sensation of her damp folds against his pulsing erection. "I'll go slowly."_

 _Anna's finger tightened at the back of his neck. "We'll go together."_

 _They moved together. At first countering one another and cringing or shifting to try and find the position that would suit them both. John's lack of finesse had him stopping and starting at the sight of Anna's wince or the furrows in her brow as he caused her pain. But eventually they settled together and allowed instinct to override their fear so they could find the rhythm and direction they needed to meet their needs._

 _It was over far too quickly for John and he tried to bring Anna with him but he could claim no more control than she could. They quivered and trembled against one another until John managed to land heavily on his side so his weight would not crush her. Then they lay there, breathing hard and attempting to use words to define their rather inelegant first foray into the experience._

 _John turned his face to see Anna, her eyes shut and her chest rising and falling in time with slow breaths, and he struggled to fill his chest with air. His fingers reached out but stopped just short of touching her bare skin, as if the moments now made the act unmentionable when just moments before they wrapped around one another. But John kept himself back and satisfied his curiosity with running his fingers through Anna's loose hair. Tangles soon ran smooth and Anna blinked before looking over at him and smiling._

 _"_ _How do you feel?"_

 _"_ _Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" John pushed himself onto his chest, angling sideways to be closer to her. To put their skin closer so the heat could arc between them again. "To ensure that I didn't completely ravish you or something?"_

 _"_ _You didn't ravish me." Anna pushed at his arm, letting out a breath. "But you tried your hardest and I… I feel wonderful."_

 _"_ _You're not in pain?"_

 _"_ _There's pain and there'll be aches tomorrow but…" One of Anna's legs bent up toward her body and John's blood ran hotter when he caught a better look at the sight between her legs, hidden from him before. "No more than a rigorous day of training. No one'll be the wiser for it."_

 _"_ _Then…" John moved his fingers from her hair to her arm, skating over it smoothly until he made the herculean jump to her torso and began tracing over the dips and valleys there. "Might I suggest a way to… ease the ache?"_

 _"_ _How would you recommend that?" Anna's hand ran up John's arm, squeezing when his finger ran over her breast and circled her nipple._

 _"_ _Perhaps another try." John leaned over, kissing down her collarbone and toward where his hand had begun a massaging treatment of Anna's breasts to match the squeezing of her hand on his arm. "There are other ways to… do it."_

 _"_ _And how do you know these things?"_

 _John lifted his head, his hand pausing as he met Anna's eyes. "I've heard stories. And I grew up near the docks where they tend not to watch their mouths when little boys are about."_

 _"_ _And what did you learn there?"_

 _"_ _I learned that I can kiss over every inch of you," John let his lips ghost over her skin, pausing just short of taking her nipple into his mouth. "Or I could just kiss here and you might like that."_

 _"_ _You've already kissed all over me." Anna writhed under him as John demonstrated his promise on her breast, almost distracting himself as he moved over her to gain a better position._

 _"_ _Not all." John finished with a kiss before grinning up at Anna as he slid down her body, peppering her with kisses along the way, and settled his shoulders between her legs. "Not yet."_

 _Anna's fingers dug into John's scalp as he started investigating. Investigating the places where Anna's nails dug divots into his skin or when her legs tightened around his ears. He searched out the right strokes of his tongue to leave her hips rising and falling and then dipped deeper between her glorious folds until her grip forced his mouth closer to her. Even his fingers and hands worked to massage her ass, to glide between her slick skin, and then to enter her as he had earlier. Anything and everything that left Anna crying out his name was his to give. Any and all experiences he could find the leave her keening out in pleasure was his desire. And when her muscles clenched around him in a signal he failed to find earlier, John could only continue sucking and drinking from her until she shattered all over again._

 _If her chest rose and fell quickly earlier, it was nothing to the way she sucked for breath now. The haze to her eyes, the limpness of her limbs, left John leaving more kisses over her glistening skin. Skin that glowed golden in the falling light of dusk until he reached her mouth._

 _He paused but Anna's hands blinding sought for him, bringing their mouths together to perfect their kisses as Anna sought out the taste of herself there. A taste John gladly exchanged as Anna's legs bent around him to draw him closer. To bring him right where he just finished leaving her sated and sighing._

 _The heat and dampness there had John breaking the kiss, trying to hold himself back from the impulse to press forward into the scorching embrace he encouraged. But Anna's heels dug into the backs of his thighs and her fingers skirted down his body to dig her fingers into the flesh of his ass as she angled her hips toward him._

 _"_ _I want to try again."_

 _"_ _Then we might want to try something else." John pivoted on his elbow, bringing Anna over him in what he hoped was a romantic movement. It almost knocked him on his ass and Anna slipped as she tried to hold onto John. They both paused before laughing at their predicament._

 _It took them a moment to get settled, Anna finding her position more quickly and distracting John to the point of torture as he tried to find a comfortable position, but when they did the giddiness faded. It was only them in the whole world and John watched, enraptured, as Anna took control of their rhythm the second she sheathed him smoothly inside her. The second of excruciating pause as she clenched her muscles around him almost left John suffocating but then Anna exercised pity and moved._

 _The new position only perpetuated their journey of discovery. One that gave John the chance to run his hands over Anna's body again. To leave her sobbing out in pleasure the way she left him. And to finally lean up and hold her close as they came together once his desperate fingers finally managed to locate that place that forced her nails to rake over his skin and leave him stinging from the pain-tipped pleasure._

 _They settled again, Anna draped over his chest, and John held her close. Even when the light faded and they both wondered about anyone debating their disappearance. Neither of them cared as they burrowed under their clothes and made a bed where they lay. Together in the dark of the night where none could touch them._

 _A change in the tide matched the first threats of sunlight on a gray day and Joh woke. Anna nestled against him and his arms tightened to hold her closer. She muttered into his skin and John sighed into her hair, closing his eyes to remember the smell of her. The smell of them. The smell of this place that would live forever in his memory. Untouched and never forgotten._

 _But when he attempted to rouse Anna she only burrowed deeper, grumbling something unkind and uncouth. It only gave John a smile as he kissed her forehead and attempted to urge her awake. Again, she ignored him and John almost huffed in frustration over the situation._

 _Until another thought struck._

 _The thought to leave her skin warm with kisses. To tempt her with promises and whispered words. To entice her to life as his hand found her breast in a gentle massage and his fingers taunted between her legs. To allow her sighs and starts to fill his ears over the sounds of morning until Anna gasped in his ears as her vaginal muscles clung to his fingers the way her arms did to his shoulders._

 _Given their mutual soreness they did not shift position much. Anna's leg went over John's hip and he edged forward. The angle shallowed but it gave them both control. A shared experience as they came together in the light of the morning. A beautiful joining that had them both groaning out the other's name as they held tightly to one another in the fear of losing their life line in the tide._

 _They slipped over the beach, washing quickly in the frigid waters, and separated at the path to return to their respective places. Anna slipping through the open window of her cabin like a shadow and John back to the rocking boat without a rudder. The one always tied to the dock that hosted a lean-to and a tiny cabin._

 _The cabin where his mother slept between bouts of sickness. John waited, listening, but heard only her gentle snores and shook his head. Part of him, the dutiful son, chided his selfness, his carelessness, and his stupidity in leaving his mother alone. But the part of him still riding the high of Anna could not find it within him to bear the guilt and shame for longer than it took to conjure the image of Anna's cheeks when they reddened under the haze of-_

* * *

John started awake when his foot hit the floor. He rose out of the chair, his body creaking with the motion, and tried to orient himself in the dark ward. One of the nurses, the same one from earlier, approached him with a lantern despite the low lights hissing gas from the walls.

"Are you alright sir?"

"Just startled myself." John shook out his arms, restoring equal feeling to all his limbs. "How is Mr. Kent?"

"The younger or the elder?"

"The elder Mr. Kent is here?"

The nurse nodded, "Arrived earlier. He's apparently taking lodgings with Mr. Kent's parents. They'll be back in the morning, when the younger Mr. Kent is a little better. Able to bear visitors."

"But he's alive?"

"He's got a strong heart." The nurse smiled to herself. "He's got you to thank for it, you know. You're the one who kept him alive."

"I did what I could." John craned his head toward James. "But otherwise he's going to live?"

"Yes sir." She went to leave but John cleared his throat. "Yes?"

"What's your name, Sister? I'd feel awfully rude if I didn't ask after all you've done for Mr. Kent and for my other friend here." John pointed to the snoring Talbot. "I'll assume he'll be alright too since he's obviously not dead."

"He's sleeping off whatever clocked him." She held out her free hand and John shook it. "And I'm Nurse Stuart. Ivy Stuart, if we're being informal."

"I'd prefer it." John released her hand. "Would it bother you for me to stay?"

"Be my guest." She winced at the chair. "I've got something better than that, if you'd like."

"If you're willing to-"

James groaned from his bed and Nurse Stuart hurried to him, holding up her lantern. John watched, almost laughing to himself, when he heard the half-mumbled words of praise from James to Nurse Stuart. His garbled attempts at poetry about her appearance and praise for her kindness left John sitting back down in his chair.

"Good luck Nurse Nightingale." John turned back to Talbot, who snorted himself to sitting upright. "Alright there Mr. Talbot?"

Talbot turned to John, who recognized the glaze of someone still asleep and struggling to pull themselves to wakefulness. "We find… Anna. She'll lead us to… There's an island you know?"

"I know." John pushed Talbot back to the bed and closed the man's eyelids so he snored himself back into a deeper sleep. "I know all about that island. And I know that Anna's there. There when I'm not as I was there when she wasn't."

* * *

 _Her fingers dug into his skin and the sticky wet between them, soaking her nightgown, forced John to stop. They hid in the darkness outside the cabin, both breathing hard, and John tightened his grip over Anna's fingers. She tried to dart out but he dragged her back as shouts and running feet passed their position._

 _"_ _Not yet." He hissed and they tucked themselves deeper into the dark._

 _He could never say who kissed whom first. All he knew, later when he scrubbed the blood from the front of his ruined shirt while his back still screamed raw from the beating and whipping, was Anna pressed to him. Their form had greatly improved with practice but even this was new to them._

 _Adrenaline and primal necessity to burn through it kept them moving despite the lack of sense. Despite the danger- or perhaps because of it- John succumbed to the pull of her kisses just as she did to his. They scrambled and held at one another as they sought for purchase and comfort. Even when Anna buried the cry of surprise as her back hit the wall, her legs still wrapped around him and they were one again. One in a moment when they needed one another most._

 _One before they would separate._

 _They finished, all gasps and muffled cries and confusion, only to try and sort themselves back to the present. To face the reality of their position. To run for the docks. To slip to the boat John promised Thomas and his mother but gave freely to Anna. To give to her despite her chidings and desire to save others._

 _She forgot about the blood on her nightgown. About how it got there. Her heart always the better part of her. But John did not forget and he pushed the boat from the dock and into the water before Anna could argue. Forced her to leave all of them behind and save herself._

 _Forced her to leave him. Forced her to forget him. Forced her away._

* * *

John blinked at the rising sun through the window and turned to a waking, groggy Talbot. "If she can't lead you there, I will. I'll take you and as many people as you want back there if it's the last thing I do."


	16. The Children Carried Off

The silence around James Kent's bed was enough to allow a pin to drop. Then Mr. Kent Senior exploded loudly enough to disrupt one feeding, drop a bedpan, and leave another patient so agitated they had to strap him down to the bed.

"A nurse! A nurse!" Mr. Kent railed, attracting any attention not already directed to the odd conclave around the bed. "Why not a prostitute? Do you realize what you've done? Breaking off your engagement to propose to a nurse? Are you a fool as well as an invalid?"

"I'm following my heart." James shifted in place, his eyes flicking toward Nurse Stuart, who remained at the other end of the ward. "She saved my life and I… I feel something for her father."

He turned to Mr. and Mrs. Smith. "Something, I'm sorry to say, I've never felt for Anna. And something I very much doubt she felt for me. Or feels for me. We were never… We were only ever good friends and we wanted to make something of that but what I feel for Ivy… For Nurse Stuart," James stopped, lost for words before his back straightened. "I love Nurse Stuart in a way I've never loved Anna. In a way I know she never loved me."

"Well we'll never know since the feral bitch's gone and run amuck again." Mr. Kent spluttered and threw his hands up in the air before scoffing. "At least with the moor child you had a chance at position and standing. An opportunity to use the interest her story brought to wiggle into ballrooms and bank accounts. Now you'll experience nothing but derision and no one'll invite you and your hospital slut to anything. You're done for with this decision. Do you understand? Done."

His fist closed near James's face and he shook it there. "We were so close to having it all son. So close to twisting it all to our advantage but you… You want to follow your heart. You've ruined us with this decision, you realize that yes? You stupid boy. And even stupider girl if she's already spread her legs for you in this very bed where-"

"Mr. Kent, I believe you should consider not speaking further." John stepped forward, his hand going to the other man's chest to immediately stop any thought of argument while also pushing him back from striking distance of James. "You've said more than your piece and now it's time to walk away."

"And who are you to-"

"I said you've said enough." He held the man's eyes with his until the red changed to a pale white in the man's face. "Now Mr. Smith here is too dignified a gentleman to challenge you for your slander of his daughter and he's a good man for it. And your son's too respectful to call you a fool to your face for what you've said to him. And that nurse you've insulted is too gentle a soul to spit in your face like you deserve for you besmirching her honor. So I'd suggest you take the good fortune they've all deigned to give you and leave with the tatters of your dignity."

"Tatters of my-"

"There's a hope, slim though it is, that you can mend the rifts you've made here in anger and that only happens if you leave. If not, all those hopes will shatter and you'll only have yourself to blame for what happens next." John removed his hand, still watching Mr. Kent. "It's your choice."

"Or what?" Mr. Kent risked a sneer, "You'll challenge me?"

"I'm very sure it wouldn't be much of a challenge on my part." John folded his arms over his chest. "Now, your son's still injured and requires attention. That means rest and you should leave him to it."

"He's cancelled an important engagement."

"That's his affair, not yours." John looked at James, who nodded. "And Ms. Smith'll be just fine with what he'll tell her when she's found. There'll be no hard feelings or grievances between the two parties. Let them settle this between themselves like the adults they are."

"Do you speak for them now?"

"Better me for them than my fist for me." John pointed to the entrance. "There's the door. Don't let it smack your ass on the way out before I've a chance to do it myself."

Mr. Kent only blustered but he let in a minute, storming from the room with what remained of his dignity. It left the rest of them standing awkwardly around James's bed until Talbot cleared his throat. "John here is right, Mr. Kent the younger needs his rest and we're disturbing him."

They shuffled away, John catching sight of Nurse Stuart carefully wending her way to the now empty space, and took up a corner where they hoped to escape the attentions of the others in the ward. Unfortunately for John, that left him as the subject of inquiry. And the focus of Mr. and Mrs. Smith's curious glances.

"I think more than a little gratitude is in order." Mr. Smith extended his hand and John shook it. "Although I'm still confused as to how you know James or Anna. You're not one of their friends are you?"

"Not quite how I'd describe myself, no." John shifted in place and tried to clear his throat. "I met Anna while she was… Taken."

Mrs. Smith covered her mouth as Mr. Smith turned as white as James's bedsheets. "You were… You were there?"

"I was." John took a breath. "I wasn't one of her captors, if that's what's worrying either of you. I've never harmed Anna nor could I ever. I love her."

"You've just told us that you were there and we're-"

"To trust him, yes." Talbot inserted himself between John and Mr. Smith. "What John here is saying is he was a captive too."

"How do you know? And, for that matter, who are you?" Mr. Smith blustered in confusion. "Where are all these people popping from?"

"I trained Anna, after her… incident in the park, all those years ago." Talbot waited but neither Mr. or Mrs. Smith had a better reaction than the ones painted in the shock on their faces. "Very well. I also know a bit about where Anna was taken and by whom."

"How?"

"My…" Talbot shook his head and waved his hand as if to wipe away the conversation. "This isn't the time nor the place for the very long and arduous conversation you're both owed about all of this."

"And when, sir, would you say that is?" Mrs. Smith finally spoke and John turned to her before glancing toward Talbot. "Before or after we wait another year to find out that our daughter is alive or dead?"

"Much sooner than that." Talbot pointed to John. "Due to this man's knowledge I can finally find the place were Anna was taken. Where Anna is, more than likely, now. With him I can rescue her."

Mrs. Smith turned to John, "Are you going to help rescue my daughter?"

"Yes ma'am." John took her hand. "I was the one who helped her get away last time and I'll bring her home again. No matter what it takes I'll bring her back to you. I swear it on my life."

"What about on her life?" Mr. Smith's comment drew their attention and he pointed at John. "You said you love her and I do believe the sincerity in your voice. But what if she doesn't love you? Would you do the same for her is she didn't feel the same way for you that you obviously do for her?"

"I wouldn't do your daughter, or yourselves, the disservice of leaving her on that island because my feelings were injured in the process." John held their focus. "Whether Anna returns my affections or not, I'll bring her back to you because of how I feel. If she wants me removed from her life, for any reason, she only has to say so and I'll be gone."

"That's your word on the matter?" Mr. Smith's eyes narrowed. "If she wanted to try and win James back from his nurse or even… Take this man here, you'd step aside at her whim?"

"My heart's always been Anna's. That means her wish is my command. Even if that wish is for someone other than me." John stood taller. "Now, please go home. Try to find some peace. And know that we'll bring Anna back to you."

Mr. and Mrs. Smith looked at one another before Mrs. Smith took his hand. "Come dear. There's nothing else we can do."

"You trust them to do this?"

"What choice do we have?" Mrs. Smith gestured toward John and Talbot. "They're the only hope we have of finding Anna. I can't… I can't live for another year of my life wondering if she's ever coming home. I just… I can't."

Mr. Smith wrapped his arm around his wife and nodded. "Alright dear. We'll go home and wait." He turned to John and Talbot. "But the first news you have, bring it to us and don't be shy about it. We need to know everything, even if it's news that she's… Even if…"

He stopped himself, almost choking on whatever words he could not bring himself to say. John glanced at Talbot before extending his hand to Mr. Smith. "I promise that we'll do all in our power to bring Anna back to you. Go home and try to find some rest there while we do what we can. There's nothing else for you to do but wait… As difficult as I know that will be."

"There is nothing else for us to do." Mr. Smith guided his wife out of the ward and John fully turned to Talbot.

"I think it's time we put some of our knowledge to use and actually helped those people."

"Finally, someone speaking sense." Talbot pointed toward the door and they left the ward, avoiding nurses, doctors, and patients on their way to the street. "Although I'm a little curious… Haven't I seen you before?"

"If you paid attention you'd have seen me quite a few times." John opened the door to Talbot's carriage and waved at the driver. "I've been following you."

"Following me?" Talbot narrowed his eyes and climbed into the carriage, John keeping close behind him. "Why?"

"To find out what you know about Green and his organization." John raised an eyebrow and pointed toward the roof of the carriage. "Are you going to tell him where to go or should I?"

"You're cheeky." Talbot rapped his knuckles against the roof and the carriage jerked to start, pulling away from the hospital. "Is that what Anna sees in you?"

"We share a few other things but my cheekiness isn't the one that helped us get on, if that's what you're asking."

"It's not, actually." Talbot studied him, "How'd you get on that island in the first place? You're not exactly the type."

"How'd you mean?"

"You're big, for a start. Most of the missing individuals were smaller. The kind who slip between the cracks and vanish because no one suspects them."

"It was a good system." John ground his teeth a second. "My story's a little more… Victim of unfortunate circumstance, not the object of unfortunate circumstance. If that makes sense."

"More of a 'wrong place, wrong time', fiasco then?"

"That's it." John let out a sigh. "My father passed and my mother took to his fishing business. I worked with her and one day we made the mistake of taking our boat a little farther out into the North Sea than we should. A storm blows in and we seek an island for shelter instead of capsizing. As was our luck on that particular day, we happen on the island Green Senior took as his training facility."

"I'll put out there, as a guess, that he didn't exactly believe that you'd 'keep it all to yourselves and never tell anyone what you saw', yes?"

"He saw value in what we knew about boats and sailing. Told us there'd be a price for our lives and we could work ourselves to freedom." John snorted, "It's funny what you'll convince yourself if true because you want it to be so."

"Your indentured servitude not what you expected?"

"Not at all. My mother turned into a domestic until she got too sick to work. Then I had to manage her duties and my own just to get the dregs of medicine to treat her condition." John tugged at his fingers before rubbing over the white scars on his hands. "She spent her last months in the cabin of our boat. Died there in the middle of the night as she fought to breathe and suffocated as her lungs proved inefficient for the task of life."

Talbot was silent a moment. "I'll not do you the disservice of offering my sympathies when I don't think that's what you want from me."

"The reality, Mr. Talbot, is that what I want from you isn't something you can give me." John sat back. "From the information I've gathered, through the training I picked up in the same crucible that Anna experienced, you're trying to fix a fault in your biology… Of sorts."

"If you're making accusations about the weight of this sin being mine because it was my father's…" Talbot nodded, "What can I do about all this to make it right for you, Mr. John?"

"It's Bates, Mr. Talbot. John Bates." He extended his hand, "We've not been properly introduced and I think we need to find a new foot on which to start."

"You must read an awful lot." Talbot shook John's hand. "Did you find much time for that during your incarceration?"

"I don't sleep well. Something people like me suffer from in general." John rolled his shoulders back as they separated. "But that's not the point."

"Then please," Talbot spread his hands, "We'll stop playing games and get there faster if you're willing to speak."

"I'm suggesting that I've got the missing pieces you need to get the help we'd need to storm that island."

"And here I was thinking you were going to suggest that the two of us, alone, would prove efficient commandos for this operation."

"I'm capable but not mad." John shook his head. "No, the information I've got for you was pieced together over the course of my captivity. From things Green Senior said and things he had his agents do."

"Like what?"

"He never attacked British Government strongholds. All of his orders were to immobilize foreign governments." John shrugged, "A man who believes he's been separated from his government would tend to lash out like a wounded animal against those he felt wronged him."

"That would suggest that he thought he was still an agent of the Empire." Talbot rubbed at the opposite side of his face with a hand. "What's your proof?"

"There was a man who owned a very nice boat… More of a yacht, really, who would make stops once a month every year until Green Senior's death."

"And now?"

"He's made a few stops but not as many under Green's reign." John tried to bite down on his smile. "He doesn't trust Green, this man, and given the inability of Green to control his father's empire it makes sense to doubt his capacity to serve."

"Who is he?"

"He's who I've been following while I've been in London. He's one of the people Green set to meet with when he got here to clean up the results of Braithwaite's mess."

Talbot raised an eyebrow, "A mess I'm sure did nothing to prove Green's prowess in a field he's quickly losing."

"Exactly. It's all made more complicated by the spread of media presence. The more newspapers and reporters who exist the more chance that people start piecing these things together. That's not the kind of attention the government needs when tensions are rising elsewhere in Europe."

"United front and all that?" John nodded and Talbot pulled at his chin before glancing out the window of the carriage. "Who is this man?"

"The one Green's met with?" John shook his head. "I've not caught his name. He's one of the suited ghosts that roam the hallways and corridors of power around your building but no one's addressed him by anything less than 'sir'."

"That could be a few people in my particular corridor of power." Talbot put his hand on the door and pushed out, leading John to the street. "If he's got anything to do with this then we need to find him. He's the key to what's keeping the Navy and the Coast Guard from finding that island."

"If he thinks it's been compromised then-"

"Then they're a liability, I know." Talbot dug into his pocket to pay the driver and motioned John to follow him into an alley between the large government building milling with those in suits of the same quality or finer than Talbot's. "But if we make him a liability to Green then he's going to eliminate the threat."

"You want to use this man as bait?" Talbot nodded and John flexed his jaw before shaking his head. "We'd need a fool proof plan to get him frightened enough to help us and then tell us everything. It'd ruin his career, if he even lives long enough to tell us anything."

"You were the one who told me there was a man like him."

"I didn't expect you'd immediately turn to subterfuge as a solution to the problem." John scoffed, "My fault, I guess, for not suspecting exactly that from the kind of man you are."

"You don't know the kind of man I am, Mr. Bates."

"You don't think Anna told me what you did?" John waited but Talbot dropped his eyes. "I understand your motivations, disturbed though they were, but I can't say I stand by them. And I don't work on that level."

"No, neither of you do, and there's a bit to be comprehended when you've done what I've done and seen what I've seen." Talbot raised his eyes to meet John's. "But I think there's a way to kill two birds with one stone in this, if you're willing."

"How?"

"You said that Green would eliminate the threat, if he saw one, and that this man needs to be frightened enough to help us. Why not create the illusion of one to encourage the other?"

"How so?"

"There's an agent of Green's, the one causing all the problems lately, who could be very useful as the evidence we need against this man to force his hand."

"Braithwaite?" John shook his head. "She went back to the island with Green. He'll have her put under again until he's sure she's back to being his creature."

"You're sure?"

"It's his style since he could never instill the kind of fear and loyalty his father did." John shuddered, "At least Green Senior had an efficient system. He was a horribly brutal man but he knew what he was about. He knew how to do the job set to him by his government. Green's a loose canon."

"Then what are the chances he'd jump the gun on his loyal assassin's reprograming to send her to get rid of a threat?" Talbot motioned for John to follow him to a back door and they took a series of back stairs until they reached his office. "Mr. Bates, I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Gregson. He's Anna's employer and one of the finest newspaper men I've ever met."

John shook hands with the man who smiled with all the genuine sincerity of an honest man. "It's an unexpected pleasure to meet you."

"And you." Gregson took his hand back. "If I'd known Ms. Smith had such illustriously swashbuckling friends in her midst I'd have insisted on doing portraits of them for her stories. You're just the thing for them."

"Your compliment is beyond flattering, sir." John took a seat, eyeing Gregson before turning to Talbot. "And what's a newspaper man going to do to help us?"

"He's going to publish the story and get everyone up in arms about it."

John blinked at both men before addressing Gregson. "You're going to publish a story, without evidence, just to set a trap here?"

"You're evidence, aren't you?" Gregson pointed at John and then shrugged. "And I would think that poor boy barely recovering in hospital is proof that there is definitely more going on here than whatever rumors are circling the mill."

"Mr. Bates," Gregson edged forward on his chair, "Too much has happened lately, starting with Ms. Smith's abduction ten years ago, to let any of this lie. Then it was a story that turned into an urban legend. And be that as it may, it was horrible. It almost destroyed her life and that of her family. Then there she was, on the cusp of happiness, to only watch her life turned upside down again?"

John nodded, "I'm aware of the greatness of Ms. Smith's misfortunes, Mr. Gregson. Having endured more than a few of them myself, I'm uniquely qualified to judge the horrors of her situation."

"Then you're the one I'll use as the source for all of this." Gregson pointed at Talbot. "And he'll be the man who gets this little ember to lit the appropriate fires under the appropriate asses, if that's something I can say."

"Don't censor yourself on my account." Talbot leaned on the edge of his desk and looked at John. "If you'll show me the man here responsible for keeping this… Black book operation going then we'll know just where to set the target Green's Ms. Braithwaite needs. We'll wait, catch her, entrap him, and then get those currently trapped to safety."

"In this plan of yours," John adjusted in his chair to keep both Talbot and Gregson in view. "What is your acceptable rate for casualties? Because if any piece of this plans falls apart, we'll all pay the price for it."

"It won't fail."

"I'm sure that's what your father said when he created all this." John waited, watching the twitch in Talbot's jaw. "You're playing at this and you don't even know what you're playing for."

"And you do?"

"Better than you, I'd hazard." John sighed, turning to Gregson. "What do you plan on doing with what you publish? What's your play in all this?"

"Honestly?" Gregson shrugged and took a breath. "I'm hoping to cover this entire affair, from start to finish."

"Including the ridiculous notion that Mr. Talbot Sr. had in regards to what he could do with the desperate and forgotten of the streets?"

"All of it." Gregson pointed at Talbot. "We're hoping that, at the very least, the truth will out."

"These are bound to be protected secrets. The British government isn't known for being kind to those who make them look like fools." John looked between the two men. "Are you ready for the results of that decision?"

"Better than you know." Talbot reached back and grabbed a piece of paper from his desk to hand to John. "That's my ultimatum. That's what I'll risk to get this all done and dusted."

"And put nicely to bed so you take the credit for sorting it?" John handed the paper back. "Excuse me for being dubious about your intentions."

"It's fair." Talbot's face turned solemn. "I'm know what I've done."

"And what you'll be doing if you go down this road?" John waited, "There are lives at stake and you're playing as if you've already won the game."

"It's all played in the mind first, Mr. Bates."

"And that's why the government should never be allowed to do anything." John let out a sigh, shaking his head before fully facing Gregson. "Where do I start on this horrible voyage, Mr. Gregson? What do you need to know first?"

Gregson snatched a pencil and flipped the top of his notebook back. "Wherever you decide you need to begin, Mr. Bates. We'll start there and see where this all leads us."


	17. Anna's Story

A barely audible squeak had her eyes open in a second. To anyone else the noise was nothing but a building settling in the night, temperature changes for oncoming winter triggering the swell and shrink of wood. But to someone trained as she was, as paranoid as she became, and as ready as she was from the moment she touched foot on the island, this was a signal of something more insidious.

That was what had Anna lying still on her bed. Part of her tensed as the prickle of fear raised the hairs on her neck and arms. But another part, the part of her that triggered when she fought Braithwaite at the party. The part of her that kept to the shadows until it soothed her fear and forced her to act.

The glow of the stove behind her, a pulsing red of dying embers begging for her to bring them back to life to send warmth into the cabin, accustomed Anna's eyes to the darkness while any approaching her would have to see around the difference in hues. Hues she used to her advantage when Anna slipped her legs toward her chest and scrunched her pillow into the space remaining. A move that put her in a position to act.

Whatever noises slipped over the floor, soft shuffles of padded feet moving over the old wood, took no notice of what they believed was the reaction of someone growing colder in the night. It made them oblivious to Anna sliding roll that put her pillows and bunched blankets to keep her outline in the indeterminate half-light while she landed on her fingers and toes on the floor. Holding her weight there, Anna smoothed into a crouch and reached for two pieces of wood next to the stove and waited the interminable eternity until the three figures took on definition in the light of the dying fire.

But all three jumped back, covering their eyes, when Anna thrust the pieces of wood into the fire. The sudden spark of yellow-orange caught the others off guard and she slid under the bed to grab her metal rod. Clutching it tightly, Anna emerged from under the bed and whipped the rod out to catch the ankles of her nearest attacker. The cracking noise occurred almost simultaneously with the howl of pain and Anna hauled the rod back to bring her elbow up with the force of her body to catch the distinctly male voiced individual in the throat.

He coughed and choked, his hands going for his throat, and Anna pivoted sideways just enough to bring her other elbow down on the man's kidneys. His knees buckled under the blow and Anna's knee caught his falling face just in time to send him unconscious to the floor as the crack of his jaw and cheekbone rang out in the silence of the cabin.

Silence that had Anna gripping at her metal rod before turning in a circle with the other two potential attackers keeping her in their sights. Only the creak and squeak of the floorboards betrayed their noise as none of them fell to the common enticement of goading their opponent. These were agents robbed of their voice and Anna had nothing to say to them. They were shadows of whatever people they might have been before, mere agents of something better. There was nothing to be said and they had nothing to say.

Just the way Anna wanted it.

Spinning the metal rod back, using a bend in it to hold the length along her arm, Anna eyed her opponents. They made no move to address their companion or his possible injuries, which eliminated distractions by the injury of one or the other. Their synchronous movements and similar heights almost betrayed their training time but Anna focused on their feet. The weight spread on each was different as one led their grapevining motions with the left and the other with the right. Even with empty hands the indicators for which hand took lead and angle of their bodies betrayed their coordination and dominant hand.

Anna arranged her feet and hands to give the impression of left-handed dominance and watched the other two react. The one with left-hand dominance relaxed and the right-hand dominant one took a step back. Exactly the way she needed them to.

Ducking the first swing, Anna brought her right arm around to crack the metal rod into the over-extended leg of the right-hand dominant attacker. The one surprised that Anna avoided the closer of the two. The one who twisted their legs together when Anna brought the same metal rod between their legs. Lack of impact betrayed the girl's sex but a moment later Anna's fist impacted with just enough force at the base of the girl's skull to leave her falling to the floor. Not hard enough to leave her lifeless but enough to leave her as unconscious as her companion.

But the moment of mercy proved enough to have the other attacker feel confident. Confident enough to wrap arms around Anna's chest from the back and squeeze. The squeeze kept Anna close, inhibiting her range of motion, but betrayed this attacker's gender as well. The hard wall of muscle allowed Anna to swing the metal rod out from her body as she jumped into his hold. He reacted, stepping backward to counter her momentum, and Anna threw all of her force toward the floor. Not hard enough to bring him over her back but hard enough to separate his legs and leave him open to the solid whack of the metal bar.

His arms immediately loosened and Anna rolled forward to escape his grip and the range of his motion. Motions now inhibited by his wild swings with one hand as the other protected his vulnerable genitalia. Anna slipped easily between the defenses of the reactionary and chopped the blade of her hand against the man's throat. The hand formerly trying to defend himself held at his now swelling throat in the hopes of holding together his broken larynx.

He hit the floor, gasping for air as the only noise compared to the silence of his unconscious companions. A silence Anna reveled in as she moved back toward the stove and pushed two more logs into the fire to stoke the light in the cabin higher. A light that revealed three others waiting for her.

Anna swung out with the metal rod but one of them snatched it while the two others coordinated their attack to grab her. One for her torso and the other for her legs to lift her bodily from the ground and toss her onto the bed. She thrashed and aimed her strikes, attempting to disguise them as uncoordinated motions, but these three bore more training than their greener companions. They held her still as the one who wrestled away her metal rod tampered with something glass.

It caught the light and Anna fought harder at the sight of a glass syringe and a bottle the first one tucked into pocket before coming toward Anna. She relaxed a moment, allowing a second of shock to render her immobile, and waited for the barely perceptible loosening of grips from her two captors. They did exactly as she predicted and Anna attacked.

First her leg flung out and caught the wrist of the oncoming syringe, locking it behind her knee to bring the attacker to their knees next to the bed. Anna's arm punched into the thigh of the attacker at her right and the deep voiced huff of pain signaled another punch slightly higher that landed him on his ass as he gripped for his crotch like his still-choking fellow had.

That only left the last of the original three trying to wrestle Anna on their own. A feat she made more difficult by curling toward them. With a arm still trapped behind one of her legs, Anna forced the syringe-holding man to fumble on the floor as she wrapped her arm behind the neck of the last one standing to trap them in a triangle choke. A choke that left the woman slapping at Anna until her body went limp. Limp enough for Anna to drop before she kicked her leg out to catch the syringe-holding one in the face.

The clink of the syringe hitting the floor had Anna turning herself off the bed in the other direction. She bent to bring her fist hard into the face of the man who reached for her but it cost her a moment. The moment she felt a prick at her neck and rounded a second too slow to land her fist in the man's throat.

Unlike the attacker choking on a bruised trachea and broken larynx, the solid fist Anna landed on this man's throat collapsed his trachea. His eyes widened as she fought for breath and Anna grabbed at his arms, as if only just realizing the strength of her blow, and tried to hold him as he hit the floor. His body shuddered and spasmed as it fought for air in the seconds before his face turned blue.

Anna staggered back, catching herself on the bed, and barely held to it when the weight of her fall knocked it into the stove. She blinked, her vision hazing as she tried to comprehend her motions, and threw herself backward at the sight of her blankets on fire. Fire that licked and spit as it consumed the bed and ran over the metal supports there to drip toward the old boards of the floor.

The two conscious attackers moved as quickly as their injuries would allow. Each reached for the person nearest them, leaving Anna shuffling backward in her night clothes as the fire slithered and lapped toward her. Her movements stopped when she hit a body and it took all of her energy to organize her failing faculties to see the woman she knocked unconscious. With heat rising and the threatening burn nipping at her heels, Anna lifted the woman and shuffled toward the door to follow the others from the building.

As she looked back in, her view marred by the shadows and smoke as well as the tilting fuzziness of whatever ran through her veins to slow her, Anna noted the body of the dead man in the middle of the floor. Flames immediately overtook him and Anna could only collapse backward into whatever waiting arms gathered outside her cabin. A cabin engulfed in flames as blackness engulfed her.

* * *

Anna woke in a rush, pulling at whatever kept her wrists and ankles immobile. She arched her back, shoulders pressing into the odd chair that constrained her head and kept her from turning. After a second her body released its tension and she hit the chair, rocking it slightly and alerting whoever else was in the room with her.

"Well, well," She tried to turn her head to see who was speaking but in a moment Green's face appeared in front of her and Anna almost recoiled but the constraints of the chair stopped her. "I guess you're already awake. Here I was, all prepared to have a grand opening, but you ruined it."

"I'll find you an apology when I drag you to Hell." Anna fought her wrists against the restraints. "Until then you'll just have to choke on it."

"Or just make it up as I go along." Green pulled back, his fingers catching on something and drag it over the floor. Anna finally caught sight of it as Green entered her field of vision again and she noted the stool he used to sit. "But I didn't expect you to be so quick. With the men I sent to get you and then with the drug in your system…"

Green laughed, wiping at his face. "I mean, who manages to incapacitate five of my best in the new generation and kill one of them? After so much time away you still managed all of that… All on your own?" He laughed, "It's… It's what made you so incredible and one of my father's favorites."

"I'm sure that's what irks you." Anna refused to look at Green. "That he was better at all of this than you are."

"It does, I admit." Green leaned back slightly and Anna finally risked a look at him. His face narrowed and lines took over his forehead before it all smoothed. "But I've decided the best way to make sure his practices live on is through his agents. You, being one of those."

"What about Edna?" Anna tried to even her breathing. "Why haven't you used her? Isn't she good enough for your little project?"

"She's occupied elsewhere." Green shrugged, "Your government friend's making a bit of trouble and it's time to deal with him."

"I've only been here for two weeks." Anna snorted, "How much trouble could he truly cause you?"

"You'd be surprised what dedicated people can do." Green pushed himself to his feet. "But you, you are rather an incredible. I've always said it and as much as you detest me and hate me, I'll always believe it."

"I'm so flattered." Anna adjusted in the chair, "What do you want?"

"What I told you I wanted from the moment I brought you here." Green motioned around him and Anna, with her limited view, noted the cave around them. "You're here so I can finally bring you back into the fold."

Anna struggled harder against the restraints. "I don't want this. Let me go."

"Or what?" Green pointed at the restraints. "This is why I took you in the first place, Anna. This is what you're here for."

"Let me go." Anna fought harder, shaking the chair but providing her no release despite her struggle. "I want nothing to do with any of this. I just wanted to be left alone. Let me go."

"No." Green stood, "I'm going to bring you back into the fold Anna. I'm going to bring back Mrs. Cotton and you're going to be one of us again."

"Please let me go." Anna pulled against the restraints, her wrists straining and pulling at the skin to leave little droplets of blood running over her skin.

"Why?" Green was out of her vision and Anna noted the rise of fear raising the hairs on her arms and neck again, just like in the cabin. He reentered her vision, holding a tray he set on a stand within Anna's vision and she noted the tray littered with syringes like the one used on her earlier. "Because I promised I'd let you go if you promised to never come after me?"

"I kept my word."

"But your little government friend refused to stop and we both know that John'll never stop so..." Green chose one of the syringes and pushed some of the fluid out of the end before approaching Anna. "The only choice I had was to send my second-best agent to stop them and make you my agent again so I'd stop you."

He snorted to himself as he approached, pushing her head to the side to expose her neck. "It's really quite something when we're our own worst enemies, isn't it?"

Anna tried to wrestled her head away from him but the constraints of the headpiece on the chair stopped her. And with her body further immobilized she only had the strength of her neck to stop his hold on her. A hold more effective than her limited thrashing that left her tensing as the metal tip poked her skin and sank deep into her vein.

"You'll remember it all and it'll be painful." Green drew back, the syringe empty. "It's also a course of treatment so you'll be here for the duration."

He walked back to the tray and Anna tried to move but her eyes failed her, turning all images blurry and contorting them like mirrors at a carnival funhouse. She blinked and shook her head, knocking against the sides of the chair, and struggled but her limbs lost their strength and all she could do was breathe. But her breathes went from fast and shallow to labored and slow until Anna swore she would suffocate. Suffocate in the whirl of confused color and mixed vision until it all turned black for her again.

Until it was no longer black.

Anna sat up and held up her wrists, free and no longer bleeding. In the blue-white light of the moon, bleeding through her diaphanous curtains, Anna ran her fingers over opposite wrists. They bore no marks of restraint and no signs of scars. In fact, as she traveled further over her body Anna could find no trace of scars anywhere. Even her back was as smooth as the day she…

Bolting out of bed and into the corner, checking over the simple calendar that hung above her desk. A desk with a diary flipped to the day she was taken. The last night of normalcy in a house invaded by shadows and boogeymen.

A quiet clinking sound came from the window and Anna huddled down in the corner, slotted carefully into the space between the desk and the wall, as a thin blade slipped between the panes of her window to knock up the latch. It caught and fought but eventually the blade slipped it free and the window pushed open from the outside to allow a small boy in. He landed smoothly on the floor and picked his way to the side as a larger man followed after him.

"Good work Thomas."

The man ruffled the boy's hair before scanning the room. The empty bed only gave him a moment of pause before his head turned in Anna's direction. The light worked against her, illuminating her while leaving all but the tiniest of flecks in his eyes dark as the night. All she had was his laugh and the looming figure of him as a shadow above her as he stalked the distance between them.

Stopping over her, the deep laugh mixed oddly with the quiet whisper to his voice. "Seems young Edna was right. You'll be quite the prize."

Anna froze. Froze as she did when she was fifteen and a man she never met before, with features she could not see, loomed above her like a terrifying beast. But Anna could fight now. She knew how. She already had.

Lunging for the letter opener on her desk, Anna wrapped her fist around it and charged the man. But now he moved more like a wraith. Any possible strike turned him to smoke and the room fought her as it pitched and rolled. One moment she fought an uphill incline to reach for him and the next she tried not to slide down the slanting surface of her floor as he waited with open arms below her.

Everything was wrong but she fought all the harder. Fought against shadow and smoke until she impacted something. Anna almost crowed with delight at landing the hit until she realized what she hit. Then her excitement turned to horror as she watched the boy the man called Thomas, the boy who now stood before her as the man, held up his handless arm and turned to her with dead eyes.

"This was your fault." His arm formed into a hook that caught the light, blinding her so Anna dropped the letter opener. "This is what you did."

She tried to argue but a bag went over her head and thick arms held her fast. Held her as she kicked and screamed to deafen herself but only emitted muffled sounds from the bag. Sounds that lost all their meaning when the bag finally came off and she sat on a boat seat with the freezing sea washing over she and what appeared to be a hundred other children.

The boat was no more than a simple rowboat but it expanded in her mind. In the illusion her memories meshed with her nightmares to create until Anna could only watch in horror at the sight of so many children cramped together to sail toward their doom. When she tried to stand, to shout a warning to them, to do anything at all, small hands yanked her to her seat.

Edna's face loomed there, tears streaking it. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"I know." Anna tried to soothe her. Tried to hold her close. But the moment she did a sharp pain pierced her belly. Anna glanced down and noticed a knife pulling from her abdomen.

When she looked up, Edna was crying all the harder as she pulled the knife away. "It was what you deserved. You did this to us."

Anna struggled to hold herself upright on the seat but the pitching and rolling of the boat knocked her down. Down farther than she should have fallen given the dimensions of a rowboat. Down past the bottom and into the water.

Freezing water brought her head up as her lungs seized. Her teeth chattered and her limbs tensed as her muscles responded to the cold. The cold that Anna tried to force from her mind so she could think. So she could escape.

But arms wrapped around her. Arms she fought against and tried to push off. Arms she finally had to twist and sink beneath her. Arms that, to Anna's horror, led to the body and face of Jane. Jane Moorsum who drown below her.

Anna struggled to pull her from the water. Fought to save her. Fought to reverse her actions and drag Jane from the crushing depths. But she was already gone. All the pulling did was send Anna toward the surface and Jane farther below. Forced Anna to watch as the other girl's lifeless eyes sank into the depths while she gasped and choked for breath on the shore.

A shore with hard wooden floors. A shore where she stood instead of knelt and coughed for breath. A shore where Senior sat before her, shaking his head.

"I brought you into my home, Mrs. Cotton. I saved you from a life of meaningless parties and repetitious childrearing and this is how you thank me?"

"I don't-" Anna looked around the room, noticed the absence of anyone she recognized. But then, all the others in the room had no faces. They stood as a solid mass of spectators who bore no expression and emitted no reaction. "I don't know what's going on."

"You were going to betray me, Anna." He stood, stalking toward her like the dark nightmare from so long ago. "You were ready to run. To take my investment of time and money and toss it to what? The life of a socialite? The life of a fisherman's wife with that scud?"

"John's not…" Anna stopped herself, pressing her palms to her temples. "No, that's not how this goes."

"Why not?" Senior's face was in hers, so close their noses almost touched. "Why does it not go this way?"

"Because…" Anna scrunched her eyes closed, pushing past the pain just behind her eyes. "Because he was going to offer me the chance to take my revenge. To lead it all here instead of…"

Her eyes opened and she saw Green, standing just off his father's shoulder. "He wanted me to lead and not you. He didn't trust you. He didn't want you to make this your legacy. He knew you'd ruin it."

"Too true." Green's arm swung out and Anna caught the flash of a blade before it sank into Senior's chest.

She rushed forward, pulling at the knife and trying to staunch the flow of blood with her nightgown. But it only soaked up the traces of it as the light faded from Senior's eyes. She could only watch in horror as Green took the knife back and went to put it to his tongue.

John was there in the next instant, tugging on her wrist. A wrist that, for a second, bore the metal restraints. Anna blinked and she was in the cave at Mermaid Lagoon, Green standing over her. Blinking again had her by the boats. By the boat John prepared for his escape but pushed her toward.

She pulled on his arm, begged him to come, begged him to help her save the others, but something hit John in the side. He fell to the ground with the weight of Green on top of him and they rolled, both trying to gain control of the knife between them. Anna ducked and dived to retrieve it as something struck the side of her head. The hilt of the knife pulled away and John knocked it clear.

Anna stumbled back, watching in a daze as John gained the upper hand over Green and freed himself before leaving Green unconscious on the ground. His fingers closed over her wrist and Anna, still in a haze of confused thoughts, tumbled onto the boat. She reached for John, called out to him, cried for him to join her as he pushed the boat away from the dock and fought back those who tried to follow her themselves. Those who might try to stop her.

She steered the boat as best she could but the cold of the sea and the rising storm blew at her. Tripping and slipping on the deck, Anna lost her balance. The boat steered itself, pitching and yawing through the waves as she vainly fought for better control. Control she gave up entirely when the boat crashed into the rocks of whatever shore the winds deigned lead her to find.

Escaping the wreck, drenched in seawater and blood, Anna crawled from the beach and onto dry land. Land and nipped at her toes and fingers with the chill. Land that threatened to suck her too deep when she wandered into the moors. Her mind still fogged and her pace halted with bumbling steps.

Steps that had her tripping into a large boulder where she barely caught herself. Her fingers slipped and her head hit the side of it, leaving Anna victim to the blackness that swirled around her again. Swirled with interspersed images of those calling out her name. Those asking what happened to her. Those curious where she hid for so long on the desolate moors.

Anna could not answer. She could not open her mouth to speak. She could not even move as she thrashed desperately to find control over her muscles. But they refused to respond and instead the blackness sucked her deeper like a mudhole on the moors.

A darkness from which she would never return. A darkness that yawned like a void before her, bidding her enter with soothing sounds and enticing entreaties. A place that offered her safety and peace and eternal rest if she only just succumbed to it. If she only just-

"Are you really going to listen to that?"

Anna stopped but could find no source for the voice calling to her. "What?"

"I said, are you really going to listen to that and give up?"

"I…" Anna coughed, her own voice surprising her. "I don't know."

"Then you'd better figure it out fast, before you've no choice at all."

Anna took only a second before she pulled toward the voice. The void sucked at her in a final attempt to entomb her for all time before it relinquished its hold. Instead she was left afloat on… Something and somewhere. A thought that frightened her more than the void and led her to call out.

"Who's there?"

"You know who."

"No, I don't." She struggled. "Who are you?"

"Oh Anna…" The voice struck her as more familiar now. Like a dream half remembered. Or an old friend from an age ago whose name she forgot. "It has been such a long time for us, hasn't it?"

"Who are-"

"Hello Anna, I'm Mrs. Cotton."


	18. One is None

Anna spun in place and while the dark no longer held her in place, it continued to surround her. The echo of the voice sounded in the space and she tried to trace it but the dark oppressed her, preventing any discoveries. It almost stifled everything except another flow of words from the voice.

"Are you ready for a more formal introduction or are we going to sit in the dark for this entire interlude?" There was a pause, "Because I can wait for you to wake up and face whatever version of yourself you find there."

"Version of myself?"

"That's what you're afraid of, isn't it?" The voice waited, "Or it could be that I need to wait for you to wallow in the weight of your grief and misplaced guilt."

"I don't have-"

"Or… Or perhaps we can dig you out of your memories and face the future." Another pause, "What'll it be?"

"I want to see you."

Anna blinked and noted the brightness of her new environment. Her memories no longer held her captive and she could control all of her movements again. In a moment she was on her feet and Anna pivoted in place before she settled on the sight of a tea service set on a table for two where… She sat.

The other version of her raised a tea cup and nodded toward the service. "I think you could use some of this. In fact, I insist. It'll make our conversation just a little easier to bear."

"Conversation?" Anna crossed the space and started when the white space turned to a cramped bookstore, one of the shelves wobbling when her elbow knocked one of the books. She turned to it, holding her hands up as if that would stop the tumble, before side shuffling toward the table. Taking her seat slowly, still eyeing the shelves around them, Anna turned to the other version of herself. "What kind of conversation are we having?"

"One I think we should've had a long time ago if time and tide hadn't proven our enemies in all this." The other version of her smiled, "I'm Mrs. Cotton, by the way, as I mentioned before."

"I didn't-"

"I know you didn't say anything. I thought I'd skip over the inevitable because you seem surprised that I look like you and I don't want you to refer to me as 'other you' any longer." Mrs. Cotton nodded, "Yes, I can 'read your mind'. But it's not really just your mind, is it? It's our mind and, therefore, my thoughts are your thoughts and your thoughts are mine."

"Are they?"

"Most of them, yes." Mrs. Cotton took another sip of tea. "You really should have some. It'll calm down our heart so we're not racing a mile a minute during this conversation. I need our head clear if we're to get out of this."

"Why?"

"Because then we might have a chance of throwing off this drug regimen that bastard's using on us to keep us under his control." Mrs. Cotton looked at Anna over her teacup. "You didn't think you were down here for fun did you?"

"I don't know why I'm here."

"You're here because we've some things we need to work out between the two of us and we've a limited time to do it." Mrs. Cotton set her cup down and Anna started as the scene changed to the white space again. "Try not to let the lack décor unsettle you. I don't."

"How does it-"

"Change?" Mrs. Cotton let her head tip back for a second, smiling as the scene shifted between the overcrowded library and the white space again. "It alters as we want it to. I've just got better control over it… Given I've been waiting here for ten years and you've only just arrived."

"Oh." Anna inspected the room and noted it bore an uncanny resemblance to the building where she fought Braithwaite. Drained of color, as if only half-remembered, but it was the same room. "Why this room?"

"It changes as I like." Mrs. Cotton seemed to bubble up with excitement for a moment before repressing the reaction with a sigh. "This one was the first time you called on me for help in quite awhile. For which I need to thank you, sincerely, as my last space was… Less, in all ways."

"When I fought Edna, in that ballroom, you… Came out?"

"Yes." Mrs. Cotton stood, pacing the space without a sound. "But she wasn't Edna then. She was Braithwaite. The change can be confusing but she was never as good about hiding it as we were."

"We were?"

"Of course." Mrs. Cotton turned, pointing to herself. "Take me, for example. The only visible difference between you and I is the received pronunciation I use."

"I was wondering why you sounded very… Upper class."

"I didn't believe assassins had to be just the dregs of the earth." Mrs. Cotton shrugged. "Not that many of our fellow students had a choice in their diction, given their upbringing as opposed to ours. But we utilized the respectable lady to our advantage, despite everyone's misgivings about our ability to thrive in such a harsh and pitiless environment."

"Were you why Senior wanted us to take over his operation?" Anna rose from the table as well, walking toward Mrs. Cotton and dodging a shelf as the space around them changed to the cluttered bookshop again. "Were you why Green killed his father in front of us?"

"In a way." Mrs. Cotton's eyes narrowed before she wagged a finger at Anna. "You forgot though. You let it all slip away when you injured yourself. Buried it down here, with me, until your desperation called us forth."

"I got headaches-"

"And who do you think was trying to get your attention through those, hm?" Mrs. Cotton waited and then shrugged, "But I understood. We are the same person, after all. I knew why you didn't want to keep those memories."

"Do you?"

"You didn't want the difficulty of facing what you became." Mrs. Cotton pointed to herself. "Of facing me."

"Or letting you out?"

"Anna," Mrs. Cotton clicked her tongue against her teeth. "For shame."

"What?"

"Don't you think me capable of controlling myself in public and not going on a murderous rampage?" Mrs. Cotton paused, "Or do you think you lacked the self-control to keep yourself in check the way Edna lacked control over Braithwaite?"

"I didn't know. After I…" Anna put her hand to her head, feeling for the injuries long since healed. "After my injuries it was all jumbled and…"

"And you didn't want to remember." Mrs. Cotton sighed, "You took to your ignorance well enough. Otherwise I wouldn't be trapped here."

She lifted her arms and spun a circle as the tight space exploded into the white ballroom again. "This is, truly, a marvelous venue."

"Why'd you come out then?"

"Because you needed more than the muscle memory that Henry helped you master in those training courses he insisted you take." Mrs. Cotton paced the space again. "You needed someone who wouldn't just fight Braithwaite but beat her. And I never lost a match against her."

"Something I should remember?"

"Among a great many other things." Mrs. Cotton folded her arms over her chest, facing Anna. "Why did you let it all slip away?"

"I wanted my old life back. I wanted…" Anna closed her eyes, shaking her head. "I wanted to not be what they made me."

"Were you afraid of the expectations that would be placed on you to recuse everyone we left behind?"

"I wasn't used to the idea of anyone expecting things of me before here, I'll be honest, and once I had the chance to go back to where there weren't any expectations of me…" Anna took a breath, fought it, and then released it. "It might've been cowardly but I wanted to forget the kinds of things I could do. The kind of person I could've become. The… The expectations someone once had for me and sink back into the oblivion of the world I wanted so desperately to be mine again."

Anna let her jaw work wordlessly for a moment, "Do you understand that? Being here, this whole time, does that make sense to you?"

"Logically, yes." Mrs. Cotton tapped her temple. "Because I was there too. I knew what you were thinking and part of me wanted that for you. But then…"

"Then?"

"Then you waited too long. You stagnated and ignored your responsibilities." Mrs. Cotton circled Anna, pointing at her again. "Because we had them, you know. We owed it to the others to fulfill them and I waited for you to do it and you let your fear stop you."

"I wanted to pretend none of it happened."

"And you never wondered why the harder you pushed to forget the harder it was to do so?" Anna gaped as Mrs. Cotton nodded. "I was the one giving you those dreams Anna. Pushing past the block you put on your mind. Giving you the memories you needed to be the person we needed to be to save them."

"What kind of person is that?"

Mrs. Cotton pointed at herself, "Me, for a start."

"Then why not…" Anna pantomimed pulling two things apart before smashing her fist into the palm of her other hand.

Mrs. Cotton only laughed. "I don't think you'd like what you'd lose if I took over our mind, Anna."

"What would I lose?"

"Yourself, for a start. And the part of you that always came out in me. Even when you created me to protect you from the conditioning and the training."

"And what part of me came out in you?"

"Compassion." Mrs. Cotton gestured to the space around them. "Don't you wonder why this space is so empty and your mind is cluttered and cramped?"

"I hadn't given it enough thought yet." Anna shrugged, "A bit occupied with this conversation I think."

"That's fair." Mrs. Cotton circled Anna again, dodging a pile of books as they returned to the bookshop. "But these represent your memories. Your emotions and feelings. Your desires and dreams. All of them formed and molded and in various states of completion. It's the mind of a person well-lived and well-loved."

"But your space…" Anna found them back in the empty ballroom. "You've nothing here."

"Because to be me, I can't be you." Mrs. Cotton stopped. "If one of us takes over, like you suggested, then we lose ourselves. We lose the necessary halves that make us a whole person. We lose the critical components that belong solely to one side of us and that part of us would wither and die."

"But you've not disappeared and I've-"

"Taken control?" Mrs. Cotton motioned for Anna to follow her. "Let me show you why."

They crossed the ballroom and the bookshop until a door, that did not change regardless of the shifting setting, appeared before them. Mrs. Cotton motioned for Anna to grab a handle as she grabbed the matching other. Then, counting down on her fingers, they opened the door and stepped into a void.

A void floating almost like they were in water. Anna looked down and cried out at the sight of herself no longer standing on solid ground but perfectly immobile in the air. But it was not quite air. It was-

"Our true mind, Anna." Mrs. Cotton took her hand and pushed forward so they sailed through the water toward the wreck of a ship. "The place where we hid our true self to be safe from it all."

They landed on the deck, the wood creaking and the light bouncing and refracting as if they were underwater. Mrs. Cotton pushed forward toward the cabin and with a press of her hand, the door whined open. Inside, lying on a bed just like her childhood room, lay a younger Anna.

"She's what we were." Mrs. Cotton led Anna to the bedside, her fingers carefully brushing back strands of hair from the girl's face. "What we were meant to be before all this."

"How do you know about her?"

"Because I was created to protect her. To protect you too." Mrs. Cotton smiled at Anna. "That's why I'm telling you that it's up to us to figure this all out."

"How'd you mean?"

"To protect the both of you, I might have to sacrifice you to do so." Mrs. Cotton pointed at the girl in the bed and then Anna. "You two would-"

"Die?"

Mrs. Cotton nodded. "I'm afraid so."

"But…" Anna shook her head, a shaking hand almost touching the younger version of herself before puling back. "But why would we have to choose? Why not-"

"Become her again?" Mrs. Cotton pointed at Anna, "Or stay as we are with you as the lead?"

"If that's how you want to say it then yes, why not?"

Mrs. Cotton sat in a chair that, a moment ago, did not exist. "Because I'm the product of your mind defending itself. She's the part of us we were so anxious to protect. You're the part of our mind that's… Well, that's rather confused about the order of things because you've spend so long in the lead."

"You think I'm selfish?"

"Don't you think so?"

Anna sat, surprising herself with a start as she landed on a chair as well. "Yes, perhaps. But… After all we suffered was it not our right to heal?"

"If we had healed, yes. But we never healed." Mrs. Cotton motioned in a triangle between the three of them. "Split as we are, that could never have happened. We could never be whole as just one of us."

"Then what would happen if you defended us and…"

"Kill you two?" Mrs. Cotton shook her head. "We'd lose what matters."

"How?"

"Because I've been trained out of empathy. The reason my space is stark is because, as I mentioned, it's not cluttered by emotion. I'm cold, calculating, and too much like what they meant Braithwaite to be to fully be what made us special."

"But Edna-"

"Lost herself to her other half." Mrs. Cotton bit at her lip. "The emotion you see in me now, the care, that's you working in me. That's the protective, loyal, and compassionate sides of you bleeding into me. The person you are, that you represent, reeks of kindness and good."

"Thank you?"

"It's meant as a compliment." Mrs. Cotton smiled, "I rather like that side of us, if I'm being honest. And it's what makes me like the idea of you being in the lead. You're the person we're meant to be."

"But you said we're not whole."

"We're not." Mrs. Cotton looked back at the girl sleeping in the bed. "Not like this, no. And we'll never be."

"Then why suggest you take control?"

"To save us from Green." Mrs. Cotton pointed at Anna. "As remarkable a job as you've been doing-"

"With some help from you, I'd hazard to guess."

"Very true." Mrs. Cotton mimicked a bow from her seated position. "And the proof of my offer is in that very help. In the fact that you cannot operate here without me and you'll never survive on your own."

"But if you win then…"

"All is lost." Mrs. Cotton gestured toward the door. "All that you've gathered, become, been… The depth of emotion, our very soul will disappear."

"And yet you're offering?"

"I don't want to die and neither do you."

Anna bit at her lip before sitting back in her chair. "There's got to be an alternative that doesn't destroy us."

"There might be but this is the best offer I've come up with."

"It's a shit offer."

"I didn't say it was the best just the best I could fathom."

Anna thought another minute, "Why has neither of us fully taken over the other before? Even after all this time you still exert a will."

"True. But that's the nature of us being two parts of the same whole. Or…" Mrs. Cotton jerked her head toward the sleeping girl. "Two of the three parts to make up a whole."

"Because neither of us is the real 'us', yes?"

"That's right."

Anna made a triangle of her own between them. "Then why not become one again? Why not take those parts of ourselves and make a whole?"

Mrs. Cotton looked from the girl to Anna and back again before extending her hand. "I've no idea what happens if we do this."

"It's better than the idea that neither can live while the other survives." Anna too Mrs. Cotton's hand and they both took the hand of the sleeping girl closest to them. "If we're about to die… I do want to apologize. For not listening to you."

"Apology accepted." Mrs. Cotton closed her eyes and Anna mimicked her. "Here's to everything."

"Here's to us." Anna tightened her hold on the two hands and the world went black around her again.


	19. Green of Me This Time

The anxious itch almost had him move from his position but John kept still. Even the desire to stretch out his limbs proved impossible in the cramped corner as he kept himself tucked away. All the while the teeth grating clack of Gregson on his typewriter drove John into a state of catatonia. One that threatened to leave him dozing in the corner if not for the creak of a board outside Gregson's office.

Over the clack of the keys striking the paper, Gregson remained oblivious to it. But John finally stretched himself from his corner to slide across the floor. Each of his limbs complained and John bit his tongue to keep from letting out sounds as the pins and needles resurrected feeling with twitches and starts. They even threatened not to hold his weight but John positioned himself behind the swing of the door and took a ready position on his toes.

Gregson continued at his typewriter, barely flicking his eyes toward John, and only raised his head as the door opened. It only took a moment but the shot that fired from the door struck the mirror that Talbot erected and shattered it. The distraction, and hesitation from the barrel of the gun, allowed John to slam the door into the barrel.

It clattered to the floor, knocking over the wood for Talbot to scoop into his hands as John rounded the edge of the door to grab at Braithwaite's wrist. She spun into him but John caught the fist she aimed for him and used his height and strength to wrap her in his hold. Kicking and struggling, leaving bruises on his shins and abdomen, she hissed and spit at him. John continued to hold firm as Talbot brought a chair over and Gregson closed the door.

"Is this the same woman who took killed the photograph at the studio where Ms. Smith was almost injured?"

"Yes." Talbot helped John settle Braithwaite into the chair and they quickly tied her securely in it before the three men faced her. "And the one who ruined Mr. Kent Senior's party."

"And shot James Kent." John bent down, meeting Braithwaite's seething eyes. "It's been a stretch, hasn't it?"

"Always cleaning up her messes, aren't you?" Braithwaite almost spit at John but he dodged the missile while she fought the ropes. "Ever her errand boy."

"That function falls to you now, Ms. Braithwaite." Talbot found another chair and brought it forward so he sat facing Braithwaite. "We're hoping you'd be kind enough as to tell us why you came after Mr. Gregson this evening."

"He was the next target."

"Next target?" Talbot clacked his teeth, looking at the other two men. "Oh dear, I think we've gone and made a mistake gentlemen."

"I think we have." John sighed, "We missed one."

"That's right." Braithwaite practically cackled at them. "You forgot that there were two targets."

"Besides us?" Talbot motioned between himself and John before looking back at Gregson. "What do you know? You're the special one here."

"I'm flattered." Gregson turned back to his notes while Talbot and John faced Braithwaite again.

"I'll guess the other person you went after was Green's government man." John studied Braithwaite's barest of flinches. "That's what I thought."

"It's time to start fresh." Braithwaite tried to shrug her shoulders back but the restraints on the chair stopped her. "We didn't need Bricker anyway."

"He'll be glad to hear it." Talbot leaned back over his chair, "Did you hear that Simon? You can come out now."

The drop of Braithwaite's jaw only preluded a renewed fight against her bonds as a man with wide eyes and a drawn face shakily emerged from behind the other mirror and accomplished the illusion in Gregson's office. "I killed you! You were dead in your office. I shot you through the window!"

"You shot a very well made mechanical man through the window." Talbot tapped John on the shoulder. "Remind me to tell Mr. Drosselmeyer that his creation worked spectacularly."

"I'll do just that." John moved to catch Bricker before he could retreat out the door. "Now, you remember our bargain, don't you Mr. Bricker."

"Bargain?"

"Yes," All heads turned to Gregson as the man lit up a pipe. "The one that promised your resignation from the Home Office and give me an exclusive series of interviews on your work with Mr. Nigel Green and his son, Alex Green."

"That bargain." Bricker pulled at his collar and accidently stepped too close to Braithwaite. She hissed and snapped her jaws at him, leaving the pole of a man flailing back into John's grip. "She was sent after me?"

"When one becomes a danger to Green's operation they become irrelevant." John turned to Braithwaite. "When do you think that moment is for you?"

"I'm useful to him."

"After so many failed attempts and personal vendettas, I doubt it." John pushed Bricker into Talbot before meeting Braithwaite's eyes. "Don't think I couldn't tell that he put you under again. He tried to reset you and it didn't work, did it?"

"I'm still in progress." Her snarl turned into a leering grin. "But whatever he's planned for me is nothing compared to what he planned for her."

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't think he took her just for the company, do you?" Braithwaite tittered and almost squealed with glee. "Right before I left he showed me what he planned to do with her. The syringes he'll use to make sure she only emerges as he wants her to. To make sure Mrs. Cotton returns to him and then he can start anew with her instead of the wilting petal he got."

John swallowed and turned to Talbot. "We need to get more information out of her and we need it now."

"I've got an interrogation room at-"

"That's not good enough." John shook his head and pointed at Braithwaite. "She's been put through a regime that includes a number of pharmaceutical grade opiates and narcotics. It's a system devised to double with careful conditioning to breakdown the mind and force it to accept a new reality."

"She's been brainwashed?"

"She's been trained." John paused, his jaw flexing. "It was part of the training program Anna endured and… And they barely survive. Some don't."

"And you think Green's doing that to her again?"

"If she's telling the truth," John pointed at Braithwaite, "And I've no reason to suspect she's lying when it's meant to hurt us."

Talbot was quiet a moment before nodding. "I know someone."

"The kind of 'someone' with expertise in inflicting injuries?" Gregson's eyebrows rose and then the trio turned to Bricker when he spoke.

"I know a few people like that." He blinked at them, as if either just realizing they were in the same or room or that he spoke aloud. "It's normal, for a man in my position, to have a few people on retainer who-"

"No." Talbot shook his head and then addressed Gregson. "She's an alienist and she did some preliminary work for me with Ms. Smith. Helped her break through a few of her mental blocks."

"Anna spoke highly of her." John glanced at Braithwaite, who only scowled back up at him from under her eyebrows, and then back to Talbot. "We need what she knows and we need it quickly."

"I've a feeling you're about to suggest something." Talbot braced, "What is it?"

"You've got a bit on your plate with…" John motioned at Bricker.

"I resent that-" Bricker tried to say, with all the indignation of his position and the white tie tuxedo he still wore, but Talbot waved him off.

"You're not wrong."

"And to make sure these two play nicely," John nodded at Gregson, who barely concealed the devious edge to his smirk, "I'm sure you'll be a bit occupied."

"Leaving you with the task of taking Braithwaite here to see Dr. Seward." Talbot sucked the inside of his cheek. "Sure you can handle her on your own? That you won't be… Tempted toward the revenge you so obviously deserve?"

"This is about something more important that trying to recover any kind of honor or dignity I might think she's taken." John flicked his gaze toward Braithwaite to catch her eye roll. "She's not taken anything from me."

"You're sure about that?" Braithwaite tried to taunt but John ignored her.

"Besides, I've got someone I feel might be more than happy to help me."

"Then I'll see you there once I've finished here." Talbot slapped his hand on Bricker's shoulder and the man's knees almost buckled. "I think we've got some things you need to tell this lovely journalist."

John carefully manipulated the ropes keeping Braithwaite immobile on the chair before reaching across Gregson's desk to handle the phone. "Operator? Yes, the Kent residence on Poole and Gover please." He waited a moment, noting the slight raise of Braithwaite's eyebrow over the steady hum of conversation from the other three men. "Yes, thank you."

"Is the pretty one going to be in any condition to be of use?" Braithwaite's voice broke through the silence for a moment but a connection on the other end of the line stopped John responding to her.

"Yes, is James Kent available? Yes I know that he… He is? Could you tell him that John Bates is on the line? I'll wait." John held the piece to his ear, holding the neck in his hand as he turned to Braithwaite. "I think he'll be interested in the chance to be of use, to answer your question."

Braithwaite opened her mouth to speak but John turned to the phone. "Yes?"

"Mr. Bates? I was surprised to get your call. They said it came from a reporter's office and I-"

"Mr. Gregson is involved in aiding me in finding Anna." John took a breath, "But I've another matter that needs your help, if you're willing."

"Of course. Anything to help you find her."

"Do you have a carriage?"

"My father's got one that I could use for… What are we doing with my father's carriage?" John waited through the pause on James's end of the line. "We're not moving a body, are we?"

"It's not dead, if that's what worries you." John twisted to see the large clock in Gregson's office. "Could you be here in a quarter of an hour? Use the office's back entrance, just for discretion."

"I'll be there."

John put the earpiece back on the neck and tapped Talbot on the shoulder. "I need you to arrange the appropriate introduction with your alienist."

When James arrived, driving the carriage himself with one arm still in a sling as he occasionally winced with movement. John nodded at him from inside the doorway before ducking out into the alley with Braithwaite. Her arms tied from her wrists to her elbows behind her back kept her immobile as the bag over her head helped muffle her struggles for speech through the gag John tied between her teeth. It only took a few moments for John to secure her inside the carriage before handing James a slip of paper with the address for Dr. Seward's office on it.

"An alienist?" James frowned at the paper before starting slightly at the sight of the gun in John's hand. "You're not using that, are you?"

"She had it with her and I took it upon myself to remove it as an issue." John used the barrel to motion towards the office windows still emitting light. "They've got to clean the glass from the mirror she shattered with the bullet."

"She tried to kill the journalist?"

John nodded and climbed into the carriage. "Now we've got to figure out what else she knows that we need to know as well."

"And then?" James grabbed John's arm when he tried to physically dodge the question by escaping into the carriage. "What then, Mr. Bates?"

"Then Talbot proves his worth and gets to the island to shut down Green's operation so it never harms another family again."

James's fingers pulled away from John's coat sleeve. "And if he can't?"

"Then I go and get Anna myself." John managed a little smile, "If she's not rescued herself already… Which is a genuine possibility."

James managed a smile of his own then. "She's always been better than the rest of us at getting herself out of trouble."

"She's the best of us." John climbed into the carriage and closed the door, removing the hood from Braithwaite's head. She hissed and snarled at him from behind the gag but John only shook his head. "You can't say this isn't better than you deserve after all you've done."

Braithwaite only snorted and leaned back in the seat, angling to keep her arms from pressing into the cushions so her shoulders took most of the pressure as the carriage wobbled into motion.

"Whatever you want to say now, whatever excuse you'll give, I don't much care to hear it." John paused, "I saw the person you became after Anna got away. And if you think you're entitled to my pity then I'll remind you that you're not the only one who was abandoned because of what happened."

Braithwaite shook her head, adding an eye roll John almost did not catch between the streetlamps as they continued through the barely populated streets at the late hour.

"She's not perfect but she isn't what you let yourself become." John paused, "Not that I'd know who that is. We're not who we wanted to be, none of us. That is something we'll all have to suffer through as we confront the kinds of people we still hope to be."

Braithwaite spoke slowly against the gag and John only just made out her words. "Then you'll kill me?"

"I shouldn't think that's what an alienist will do." John let out a sigh, "Maybe she'll fix you. Make you whole again."

"I don't need fixing."

"We all need fixing." John set the gun to the side and massaged his hands. "Some of us just need a different kind of it than others."

The carriage stopped at the house and John exited to see a woman, with hair cut drastically around her jaw line, standing before him with her hands clasped together. Her blouse was perfectly buttoned and straight, her skirt added to the line of her form that made her almost the Queen on a chessboard. To match it all was the unforgiving demeanor she gave when they stared at one another. This was not a woman with whom to attempt trifling.

"Doctor." John bowed his head to her and reached into the carriage for Braithwaite. He left the hood and the gun as he escorted his bound prisoner up the stairs to stand on the same level as the woman. "I apologize for the lateness of the hour but this is a rather urgent matter."

"I'd assume so since you've tied her rather tightly." Dr. Seward looked Braithwaite over before even meeting her eyes. "You're full of contradictions in there, aren't you?"

Braithwaite almost recoiled in John's grip as James joined them, holding the hood and the gun as is confused what to do with either of them. Dr. Seward snatched the hood from him, tossing it toward a rubbish heap just below the stairs, and then the gun. "If you don't know how to handle one of these, perhaps you shouldn't be handling them at all."

James shrank back as they all filed into the offices after Dr. Seward and John helped Braithwaite take a chair before untying her. The moment her arms were free she swung them toward John but the click of the hammer on the gun stopped everyone from moving. Braithwaite froze, her arms in position to bring one of her hands around to box at John's temples, and John matched her motion with his arms ready to block the blow. They all saw Dr. Seward confidently holding the gun in her hands and using it to motion them to their seats.

"As much as I'm sure you've no desire to be here, Miss, you're my guest now. And while the door is free for you to use at any time I'll not allow any violence in my offices. This is a place of healing."

"This isn't a surgery."

"There is more to healing than mending the body, Miss." Dr. Seward nodded at the chair and Braithwaite took it, adjusting her skirt over her knees to sit primly as John took the other chair and James made do on the little stool by the door. Another moment passed, as if Dr. Seward wanted to ensure they were serious about their commitment, before she took her seat and left the cocked gun on her desk. "Now, I do believe it's time we began."

Each question and delve, every side trick and phrase, any details that could be exploited were laid bare. John almost dozed in his seat no less than three times over the course of the night and well into the next morning before James finally shook him. Blinking at him, but gratefully accepting the tea cup from the service James brought, he adjusted in his chair before almost jumping out of it.

"Where's Braithwaite?"

"Ms. Braithwaite," Both heads turned to see Dr. Seward coming down the stairs from behind a door formerly hidden in shadow when their only light was the gas lamps and flicking electric bulbs in the corner. "Is upstairs resting."

"Miss?" John's eyebrows rose and he drank some of the tea before cringing at the level of sugar. James only shrugged his apologies before offering the same to Dr. Seward. She refused with a twitch of her lip toward the disdainful.

"Coffee for me, young man, I'm an American and I do still have standards." Dr. Seward turned to John. "And yes, 'Miss', despite your tone of disbelief."

"That's not the name she takes for herself."

"Perhaps not when she was split between two minds but it is her name." Dr. Seward sat back in her chair and urged John to do the same. "The suffering that girl has endured is deserving of pity, not contempt."

"We'll not discuss the people she's assassinated and murdered then?"

"No, 'we' won't." Dr. Seward looked up to see James still holding the tray. "If you'd like to be useful, young man, you can attempt at brewing me some coffee. If not, please take a seat. I get nervous about people who hover."

James hurried into the other seat and Dr. Seward sighed. "Pity."

"What?" James blinked at her, almost twitching in his seat.

"Nothing." She addressed John again. "Whatever justice needs to come for the actions of Ms. Braithwaite's more murderous personality will be worked out between she, the law, and whatever intercession Mr. Talbot deems plausible. That being said, I will recommend she be placed under care where she can recover herself and try to amend for actions outside her control."

"Because she wasn't in control of her faculties?"

"Precisely." Dr. Seward tapped the gun with her finger and John noted the hammer back in neutral. "Those who tend to use these weapons are those driven to do so. Be them coppers, soldiers, or madmen there's always a reason. Ms. Braithwaite was manipulated and brainwashed until her actions were not entirely her own. That doesn't take away from the horrors of her crimes but it does provide solace that she's no cold-blooded killer."

"Then what else did she tell you that could help us save others from her fate?" John scooted to the edge of his seat. "Whatever else she told you, I've little care about. I'm here about saving others."

"You've no interest in saving her?"

"Not particularly, no." John paused, "I wish Braithw-"

"Ms. Braithwaite."

"I wish Ms. Braithwaite no ill. Nor do I wish her harm. But there are others in harm's way that need help and I need to know what might prevent me helping them." John tried to discern any trace of sympathy from Dr. Seward's face but only found contemplative study of himself there. "Whatever you may think of me, I'm here because I've other people I need to save."

"You mean Anna?" John almost spoke but satisfied himself with a nod. Dr. Seward took a moment before speaking. "I can understand the desire to save those that you care about above the others."

"If you-"

"I'm not castigating you, sir. I'm making a notation about humankind in general. What you're asking is the definition of human nature and you're not unique in your desires." Dr. Seward nodded at him. "She told me that Green's plans aren't for anything interesting. If you go and… Storm the island, as I think you might, you'll find nothing but the defenses you're expecting."

"Thank you." John stood, extending a hand to her. Dr. Seward took it and shook it as firmly as anyone with whom he ever shared a shake. "For everything."

"It was, sincerely, my pleasure." She released his hand. "For as much as I detest the people for whom Mr. Talbot works and the general nature of the kind of work he debases himself to do, I admire his ability to think outside the box. He always brings me the most interesting of problems."

"I'll let him know." John paused before pointing toward the stairs. "What about Ms. Braithwaite?"

"She'll stay here until she's ready to greet the world. Then I'll discuss with Mr. Talbot about what'll happen to her." Dr. Seward smiled to herself, "She's my greatest challenge yet and I'm more than a little excited about what this could mean for my practice."

"How'd you mean?"

"If you're about to 'raid' the island where all the people like Ms. Braithwaite are then…" Dr. Seward's mouth almost managed a smile from her permanent press but it faded so quickly John practically imagined it. "I think I'll be very busy trying to make people whole in the near future."

"Then I wish you my best, Doctor, although I doubt you need it from me."

"It's welcome all the same, sir."

"Why do you keep calling him 'sir'?" Both of them turned to see James standing near the door. "And I'm 'young man'?"

"I don't know either of your names." Dr. Seward pointed to the door, "Your exit is that way, gentlemen."

They took James's carriage back to Gregson's office and James barely stopped John going immediately inside. "I want to help."

"You already have."

"I mean…" James swallowed, "When you go to rescue Anna. I want to help. It's the least I can do giving what I've already done."

"How'd you mean?"

"I threw her over for someone else."

John stifled the desire to laugh. "I don't think she'll find you've besmirched her honor, James."

"But still-"

"You're injured, James." John pointed toward the sling. "And for as much as I'd like a man as loyal as you at my side, I think you're best here. I couldn't have your death on my conscience."

"I'm not new at the idea of fighting, Mr. Bates." James tried to stand taller but John did not match him in the attempt. "I was a soldier."

"This isn't war, James. This is… This is dirty. It's a kind of fighting where you'd be outmatched in a moment. It's street fighting and back alley work and… And the kind of thing where you're military precision won't do you any good."

"Then you'll not take me?"

"I won't take you to die, no." John nodded toward the carriage. "Take that back home. Spend time with your nurse-fiancé, and know that I'll either come back with Anna or not at all."

"That's not comforting."

"But it means I'll either succeed or die trying." John feigned a proud pout, "It's supposed to be noble, like you."

James shoved at him. "Go then and rescue her."

"I will."

By the time John got back to Gregson's office the man was furiously typing away at his notes that piled in haphazard piles around his desk. He barely noticed John but Talbot and Bricker did… Although Talbot pushed Bricker back into his seat when the man rose to try and speak.

"Did it work?"

"Dr. Seward said only traditional defenses." John nodded, "We'll be alright if we go now."

"Then it's a good thing I've already got a few commandos to help us as well." Talbot patted Bricker's shoulder. "Friends like this come in handy occasionally."

"I can see that." John motioned toward the door, "No time like the present?"

"Lead the way."

It took them two days to get everything together. Or, it would have if John waited for them. Instead he left with the midnight tide and put a note at the meeting spot with Talbot to warn him. Whatever conversation Talbot intended to have with him later would be had later. For the moment all John needed was to get to the island and to Anna.

Pulling the borrowed boat up the dock almost gave John shivers as the hairs rose on his arms. Subduing the guards took less time than he expected and he left them tied loosely to the supports of the dock. The only true moment of violence was when a boat hook slashed out at him in the small hours as he left the dock and passed the watchman's hut.

John rolled and held up his hands in a defensive stance as the shadow with the shining hook circled him. He flailed out and managed to grab ahold of a broken oar and brandished it toward the potential attacker. The other shadow took a step back, catching the weak light from the hut and the moon so John dropped the oar.

"Thomas?"

"John?" They stared at one another before Thomas put his good hand to his face. "Bugger me you came for her."

"Did you think I wouldn't?" John wrapped the man in a hug that Thomas returned with a solid thump to the back with his good hand. "Where is she?"

"She's…" Thomas's face contorted. "He took her to Mermaid Lagoon, John. She's… She's already been under for two days. I don't… I don't think…"

"Don't say that." John leveled a finger at Thomas. "She's stronger than that. You and I both know it."

"But does she still know it?" John turned to see Green, flanked by a group of masked individuals. "I don't think she's as good as you think she is if she's still trapped down there. I left her once the regimen was over and look… No sign of her."

Green stepped right up to John, "In another day or so I'll see if she's dead. The tides this time of year are… higher. So if she's not washed away then there'll be a body I'll let you bury before I beat you to death."

"You'll beat me to death?" John shoved Green back with his forearm before disarming one of the masked individuals. He held the sword at Green's throat as the man coughed on the ground. "I could kill you right here and be done with all of this. It'll only be a moment."

"And yet," Green pushed the edge of the blade away with his hand. "You won't. And why? Because she wouldn't do it and you'd never want to disappoint the love of your sorry life."

Green stood and took a sword for himself, practicing a few strokes as John took his stance. "I don't remember you being a very fencer, when you were here. In fact," Green took the moment to put a finger to his chin, as if straining to remember as torches lit around them and John blinked in the sudden glare. "I think I thrashed you soundly every time."

"This time it'll be different."

"You're right," Green took his position across from John. "It will be because this time, I'll kill you."

John swallowed and raised his sword, fingers tightening until the whites of his knuckles were visible, but a hand handed on his wrist. He started and readied to face Thomas but his jaw dropped when he recognized the source of the interruption. With no words to fill his gaping mouth or the silence of the impromptu circle in the gray of the early morning, John could only step aside at the gentle pry of the sword from his hand and the solid but considerate push on his arm.

"This is my fight, John." Anna balanced the sword in her hand, swiping it once before settling into a practiced stance to face Green. "He's always been mine and this time we'll end it once and for all."


	20. Returning Home

Green scoffed as Anna adjusted the sword again. "What, Mrs. Cotton's ready to play now? All reset upstairs?"

"I'm set enough." Anna took her ready position. "And getting out of Mermaid Lagoon wasn't nearly as difficult as you made it seem when you left me there. Rather… childish, really. I can see now why Nigel never wanted you taking over. You really did make a mess of all of this, didn't you?"

Green's eyes widened and he leveled the sword at Anna. "Only Mrs. Cotton knew that. Only she was there that night."

"There to kill him myself, as it happened." Anna only managed a small smile as they circled one another. "But you did that for me so thank you, for taking that life from my conscience. I was worried for a stretch that I would have to consider myself a homicide like you."

"Not counting that one you burned to death in your cabin?"

"He's a tragedy, not a murder." Anna rotated her wrist to manipulate the sword in her grip. "What an interesting choice of weapon. Pistols at dawn too much of a gentleman's game for you?"

"There she is, the acerbic Mrs. Cotton come out to play."

"That's not at all how I'd describe myself." Anna pointed at Green with the end of her sword. "That's the name your father chose for me."

"And what, you'd want to choose a name for yourself?" Green laughed and shook his head. "Then choose any name you want. Livia, Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth for all I bloody care."

"Who says it's for you to care about it?" Anna paused, "I don't remember asking for, or expecting, your opinion. In this case, as in all things in my life, you have no say in it."

"Says my creature." Green lunged at her but Anna easily batted the blade aside. "You'll do as I instruct."

"Not bloody likely." Anna parried another of Green's blows and they switched positions in the circle of torches and spectators. She caught John's eye for a moment and nodded at him before addressing Green again. "And I was never your creature. It's why you took what wasn't yours to receive and then received the beating of a lifetime… Twice, if I remember the sound of Senior's cane on your back."

Green flinched, one of his hands instinctively going toward his back before he lunged for Anna again. Their swords clashed in a series of five strikes before they separated again. "You always were good at this."

"I was good at everything you drilled into me here." Anna shrugged, "How do you think I escaped?"

"John helped you." Green pointed to John and then Thomas, "And then the poofter lost his hand for his part in it."

"You always were so banal in your punishments." Anna offered her own conciliatory gesture toward Thomas. "It's why you were always second best. There was nothing in you that could offer growth. It was no wonder your father didn't want you taking over this place. It's already stagnated and you've only been at it what… Ten years?"

Another lunge, this time accompanied by an animalistic shriek from Green, and Anna was batting away his unfocused blade but landing no hits of her own. She studied Green as he attacked her, watching with a cool eye through his motions to leave him with a moment of almost victory before she deflected his strikes. Each left the screech of metal on metal before Green pulled himself away to huff for air in his corner of the ring.

"This is what you've done. No better than your father did and worse than he hoped for this place." Anna paced the ring. "This horrible nightmare reborn in a pale imitation of two men's misguided and corrupted dream."

"It's the future for those with no future."

"And what is this but just a delay of the possible for the inevitable?" Anna pointed to one of the spectators at random. "You take them, as your father did, on the assumption that they'll be nothing. That they'll die on the streets or be shuffled to a workhouse to lose all hope for their survival until there's nothing but bones held together by thin strips of meat, yes?"

"What do you think would happen to them?" Green breathed and Anna noted the hitch, as if he could not get enough air. "That the state would provide for them?"

"That's what your father thought this would be." Anna snorted and parried another two strikes before grabbing Green by the back of his shirt so she could turn him into a strike with her knee. It caught him in the midriff and his lungs emptied before Anna dropped him to the ground. "In all of his high-minded arrogance and misplaced sense of patriotism he joined forces with an equally morally compromised individual to hatch this reprehensible plot between them."

Anna raised her arms and brought them down in time to defend herself for another three strikes before landing her fist along Green's jaw. He staggered back and she shook her head. "To take those they thought beneath them, those others ignore, and turn them into weapons. All funded and sanctioned by the state they claimed to be freeing them from. How lovely in its despicable poetry."

"How'd you know that?" Green held up his sword and Anna noted the tremor in his hand. "My father never told you that."

"I learned a few things, while I was away." Anna rounded on Green and blocked his attempt to stab her from behind before completely disarming him. She held his wrist, bending it until a snap preluded Green's cry of pain. "Things that told me that maybe your father was right. Maybe those he brought here would've died on the streets. But they might've also had lives and families of their own. He robbed them of their future. He took that from them without a second thought."

"They were for the rubbish heap anyway."

Anna pushed Green back and slashed with the sword in her hand. The perfection of her aim left a line across his throat without splitting it but brought her strength to the blow when she took off his right hand. His scream tore through the gray of the early dawn and Anna stepped back as he fell to the ground holding the stump of his hand.

"They had every right to live their lives." Anna dropped the sword. "Just like I'm going to live mine."

"As an assassin?" Green tried to crawl to his knees, still holding his bleeding arm. "As Mrs. Cotton? As a person ruined as you are?"

"As Anna Smith." She stood taller, meeting John's eyes in the growing light. "I was never Mrs. Cotton and she was never me. Who I am, right now, is who I'm supposed to be and I've no regrets."

She crossed the space, leaving Green cradling his arm, and walked toward John. The shift in his expression had Anna pivoting to try and defend herself as the world slowed. A moment stretched to eternity as she saw the gun he brought around awkwardly with his left hand. And then flinched at the sound of a shot.

But there was no pain. John's hands ran over her a second later and Anna faced him, shaking her head. "I'm not-"

"I'd hope not." Both of them looked up as Talbot, accompanied by a dismal looking Bricker and a furiously scribbling Gregson, joined them. "I aimed for his head and that's exactly where I hit."

He nodded at both of them before edging around them to check on Green. "There was a moment when I hoped to get more information out of him but I think that ship has sailed, yes?"

"Bastard deserved it." Talbot started and turned to see Thomas standing next to him and barely moved out of the way as Thomas spit on the body. "Burn in Hell."

"I'll second that." Talbot stood and extended his hand before changing which one he held out at the sight of Thomas's hook. "I'm not sure I've heard about you."

"If you're relying on Anna for information then I'd suspect not."

Anna snorted and accepted John's help to stand. "I didn't expect to see you again. I thought…"

"I'd leave you here alone?"

"There was a moment of doubt, I admit." Anna bit at the inside of her cheek. "But it's probably what I deserve after all the doubt I stirred up by leaving everything here to fester or ten years."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Yes and no." Anna took John's hand, tugging him away from the conversation between Talbot and Thomas as the others, the agents Talbot brought with him and the potential agents Green left upon his death, simply milled around waiting for instructions. She waited until they were far enough away to give their conversation a bit of privacy. "I wasn't myself."

"No, just now you were-"

"No," Anna put her hands over his, stopping John continuing. "I mean that I've not been myself for a very long time. I've been… split."

"Like Braithwaite?"

"Similar but I did it better." Anna shrugged, "I guess my mind was stronger because it allowed me to split myself into the side of me that protected me, Mrs. Cotton, and the version of me who remembered nothing."

"But you remember it all now?"

Anna nodded, "Clearly and without fault. It's all mine again."

"So you're whole?"

"For the first time in a very long time, yes." Anna smiled at him and squeezed his hands. "I said it earlier but I'll say it again. I am, now, who I was meant to be."

"And who is that?"

"For the moment, with you." Anna leaned to kiss him but stopped.

"Anna?"

She nodded toward Talbot and his men, trying to gather the skittish trainees. "I think he needs my help."

"Alright." John kissed her hand before releasing it. "I should go apologize for commandeering a boat and leaving him in a lurch."

"He got here on time." Anna pffted. "Let Talbot sweat a little bit. It's good for his constitution if we don't let everything work out for him."

They both laughed and separated, Anna quickly pacifying the nervous agents so they could pair up with one of the soldiers Talbot brought and take their places on their boat. Between Thomas and Baxter they collected everyone from all over the island before loading everyone into Talbot's boat. Gregson and a few of others volunteered to stay until Talbot returned, to ensure it was shut down and for Gregson to snoop the island, but all the others gladly waited to cast off.

Talbot pulled at his hands before nodding toward the boat. "There's room for you as well."

"I think I should go back with John." Anna pointed toward John's boat. "I've given him enough scares and he's got to catch me up on a few of the activities you two decided would occupy your time while I was here."

"I doubt you'll get to any of that on that boat." Anna swatted at Talbot but he dodged the blow. "But I've got another offer for you."

"If it's a position in your business with the government I'm going to tell you, for the last time and very firmly, that I'll never work for you."

"I'm glad you let me know but that wasn't the question on the table… This time." Talbot winked and Anna raised an eyebrow. "My question was if you'd help me to debrief these ones."

"Me?"

"I'll have Dr. Seward consult on it, since she's the expert, but they could use a steadying hand and you're the only person I trust who's got any experience with any of… This." Talbot waved his hand at the island and Anna turned back over her shoulder to look at it for the last time.

"I think that'll be wise and of course I will." Anna took a breath, "I can only hope they'll find the healing they need."

"Maybe forget?"

"No," Anna shook her head. "I doubt they'll ever forget what happened to them here. They'll block it, like I did, but it'll never leave them alone."

Talbot nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. "Makes me all the more guilty than I was before."

"Because you've seen the sins of your father?"

"Understanding takes on a new element when the head and heart are combined." Talbot jumped onto the boat. "And I'll let you know when we hope to begin. It'll be a few days, to get them settled, so don't be too anxious."

"I'm looking forward to a holiday." Anna waved them off, watching the boat fade into the fog of the morning before turning up the dock. She was barely a few paces away when Gregson jogged toward her. Anna snorted and pointed, "I think you missed the boat, if you changed your mind."

"Not at all." Gregson waved his arm behind him. "There's so much here."

"Try not to forget the context, that's all I ask." Anna went to move but he stepped in front of her. "Yes?"

"Before I lose you to… Life." Gregson took a breath, trying to steady the gasping of his breaths. "I was curious if you'd find a way to make these the kinds of stories you'd write for the paper."

"You want stories about this?"

"Written for children and, therefore, heavily edited, but yes." Gregson shook his head, "There's so much here and I've got the pen for the facts but not the fiction of what you could write."

Anna put a hand through her hair and shrugged. "I did promise you stories and it's your right, as my editor, to request what they'll be."

"So you will?"

"With a little time and distance, of course." Anna held out her hand to him. "Until we're both back in the city, Mr. Gregson."

"Always a pleasure Ms. Smith." He shook firmly before releasing and letting out a gasp. "If I'd known what our association would lead to, I'd have contacted you long before now."

"Keep talking like that and it'll go to my head." Anna pivoted around him and jumped onto the deck of John's boat. "Happy hunting Mr. Gregson."

Between the two of them, John got the boat onto open water and steered it toward shore before rigging the wheel to hold steady as he joined Anna on the deck. She wrapped a blanket around herself and smiled as John did the same. "If you're here then how do we know we'll not be blown off course?"

"Because I'm an expert seaman and I know how to navigate these waters."

"Even in winter?"

"Especially in winter." John moved closer to her and Anna sighed.

"I'm sorry, about your mother. I don't know if I fully communicated that when I first knew but now that I remember her-"

John's hand covered hers. "I know." He squeezed there before kissing the back of her hand. "And thank you."

"And I should thank you for deciding to be a Dutch commando and come rescue me all on your own."

"You're the one who rescued yourself." John paused, "How did you do it? Green was sure you'd drown in Mermaid Lagoon."

"Part of me did, I think." Anna paused, looking out at the choppy waves. "My mind was split and I had to lose myself to find the parts of me that were separate too long. Once that was over I was whole again. And the whole part of me remembered how to escaped my restraints and I got out of the caves."

"So now you're the real and true Anna Smith?"

"That's right."

"What does that mean?"

"It means…" Anna let out a breath, "Part of me is the girl who died the night they took me. Part of me is Mrs. Cotton. And part of me is the Anna who's lived her life in confusion for the last ten years."

"And what does this Anna Smith want?"

"To put it all behind me so I can heal… And not like last time."

"When you tried to pretend it didn't happen?"

Anna nodded. "I understand it all now. I didn't then but it's so much clearer now. It's not perfect but it's clear and… And that's something to say for the future."

"What else would you say for the future?"

She leaned into him, "More clarity and a better life." Anna adjusted to see his face. "You? What are you saying for the future?"

"It's not the time for resolutions until the end of the month." Anna nudged at him and John laughed with her before nodding. "I'd like to help Talbot. Just with what he's got on his hands now."

"Based on how close you two seemed, perhaps you should think about working with him on a more permanent basis." Anna shrugged at John's raised eyebrow. "Just an idea."

"An idea I'll keep in mind." John nodded toward the cabin. "I need to check our heading and get us back to land."

"You don't want to stay out on the freezing water and risk getting ourselves stuck in the North Sea in winter?" Anna followed him into the cabin, sitting back on the bunk as John steered them toward land.

"I'd rather not."

They were quiet for a moment before Anna spoke again. "Why not go back to being a fisherman? It was what you did before and it's in your bones."

"It's been a bit ruined for me."

"Ah." Anna scooted over on the bunk as John joined her there. "They stole so much from us, didn't they?"

"Yes they did." John met Anna's eyes. "But they didn't take you from me, that's what matters most to me."

"And you matter to me." Anna put her hand on his cheek, reveling in the familiar bristle of hair there and the way the curves of her fingers fit perfectly along his jaw. "Despite all my best efforts, I never did forget you. Not completely."

"You never laid in bed at night and dreamed of a better man?"

"How could I when there aren't any?" Anna lost herself in his eyes. "You're the best man, John Bates, and I never want to lose you again."

John leaned forward and their lips met.

Anna basked in the sensation of his lips moving over hers and laid back as John urged her more fully onto the bunk. Their legs still hung over the edge and the angle proved a little awkward for a moment but once John hopped onto the bunk Anna swung her legs up. They maneuvered in the moment they had so John's knees depressed the mattress on either side of her hips and their lips stayed together.

It only took a slight shift to have John's hand smoothly cupping the back of Anna's neck so he could keep their kiss going. Neither of them moved quickly as they fell into the encouraging rhythm of the boat rolling over the waves. It kept them patient as they languidly explored one another as if for the first time.

Unlike their first time, they had more experience and both parties knew what they were doing. Anna grinned into the kiss at that, remembering their fumbling but satisfying inaugural foray into the exercise. But when John slanted his mouth over hers to leave him more control over the tangling of his tongue with hers so better ravish her mouth, Anna pushed the memories aside.

All that mattered was them was the soft glide of calloused fingers over exposed skin as the blankets that kept them warm sloughed to the floor. They moved in sync as each item of clothing fell to the floor to leave more skin exposed. Skin quickly reached for slow kisses that left them shivering and trembling in one another's hold.

Anna arched into John's hold as his kisses skated down her lips to her neck and over her collarbones. Her fingers tangled in his undershirt and she hauled it over his head to better smooth her hand over his back before dragging her nails across it in time to John's lips closing over her nipples. Whatever marks she left there were in direct response to the adoration he expressed as his mouth moved over her breasts.

But John's level of affection only increased the more skin they revealed to one another. He settled between her legs, despite the confines of the bunk, and Anna was left to hold at the back of his scalp to try and control his motions. Motions that left her crying out to the hollow echo of the cabin as John's tongue and lips brought her to the edge of ecstasy before helping her fall over the edge.

Her chest rose and fell, the air close and refusing to refill her lungs, as John reversed his progress to travel up her body. Kisses dotted her flushed and glistening skin until their lips met again. Met with Anna's hands trapping John's mouth to hers as they settled on his cheeks. A slide of her foot over the back of his calf before notching her knee at his hip had them sliding and grinding together until John broke the kiss to suck for breath.

They watched each other for a moment, waiting for one of them to move first, and Anna answered the call with an angle of her hips. It only took a maneuver to bring their bodies together as John sank as deeply as possible inside her. Her ankles locked under his ass as her arms wrapped around his shoulders to keep him close. Heat from his breath at her shoulder sent her hair fluttering slightly and she replicated the motion between kisses she pressed desperately to his collar.

John drew back, dragging his lips along her jaw, and held himself over Anna as he took the cue from the rolling of the waves to set their pace. The rocking of the boat countered their motions and when they ground together it only echoed hollowly in the motions around them. Eventually John's hand slid under Anna's ass and she arced into John to provide the angle that left each of his thrusts pressing at her swollen clit. The same place John's fingers delicately teased until Anna came with her fingers raking down John's sides.

He followed her soon after, sagging into her as he tried to fall sideways. But Anna held him close, almost wrapping his body with hers, and stayed there until he kissed at her shoulder. "I've got to guide us back to land."

"Unless we decided to stay lost here." Anna let her fingers drag down his cheek. "We pretend we're lost at sea. Start anew somewhere else."

"And what would your poor parents do if they thought they'd lost you again?" John kissed her and lifted himself away, dressing to take over steering the boat.

Anna wrapped herself in the blankets, tucked back into the corner of the bunk. "Did you tell them about us?"

"I told them that I love you and that I'd bring you back to them." John looked over his shoulder at her. "Whatever happens from there is your decision."

"Like what to do about my engagement?" Anna shuddered, "Poor James."

"I wouldn't say that."

Anna started, "He's not dead, is he?"

"No, James Kent survived." John checked Anna again and she frowned at the wince he gave her. "And he's going to break your engagement."

"Did he find out about us?"

"No. He found a lovely nurse and decided she was his Florence Nightingale."

"His father was alright with that?"

"Not at all. Made a scene in the ward and insulted James, the nurse, you, and himself in the process." John shrugged, "It's all going to work itself out on land and we'll wait until then to manage it."

"I guess we will." Anna lay back, tucked into the blankets. "Wake me with enough time to dress will you? I'd hate to greet my parents in my altogether."

"I'll make sure you're properly attired." John winked at her and Anna smiled. "I've got to make a good impression too."

"Yes, I think you do."


	21. The Wedding

The embrace from her parents was almost enough to strangle but Anna would have it no other way. In a way she was hugging them for the first time in ten years. Just as it felt like her first time home in ten years.

John stood to the side, refusing to interfere, and waited until they finally separated. After a communal breath, that elicited some nervous laughter that led to real laughter as they released all the tension that still hung in the air. Anna wiped at her eyes and edged close to her mother as her father extended a hand to John.

"Thank you, sir, for your work there. We… We feared we'd never see her again and you've brought her back to us."

John took Mr. Smith's hand and released it after a moment. "It was, truly, my pleasure to do so." His eyes met Anna's. "She's the most remarkable woman I've ever met and I wouldn't have wanted to leave you without her in your lives."

"And your life?" Mrs. Smith pressed and Anna exchanged a look with John as he swallowed before answering.

"Pardon?"

"You'd mentioned, at hospital, that you love our Anna." Mrs. Smith brushed some of Anna's hair behind her ear. "Is that still true?"

"It's always been true, Mrs. Smith."

"Then," Mr. Smith clapped John on the shoulder. "I believe there are things you and I need to discuss in private."

Anna watched as John followed Mr. Smith into his study, flashing a single cringe at her before disappearing behind the door, and then jerked as her mother took her hand. They separated as if shocked and then stared at one another a second. Her mother practically vibrated in place in her attempts to speak.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean… That is… It's just I… After all this time I-"

"It's fine. Truly." Taking her mother's hand, Anna smoothed over it before smiling at her. "It's just a nervous reaction. I was surprised, that's all."

"It's… It's a bit like when you came back the first time." Her mother's hand firmed around Anna's and she smiled. "Back when you wouldn't let us touch you and we had to announce if we were coming into a room so you wouldn't hide in a corner. Back when… When I couldn't hug you."

"No, it's not like last time."

"No?"

"No. It's different this time." Anna leaned forward and kissed her mother's cheek. "It'll never happen again and I'm back now. Back for good."

"You've no idea how happy I am to hear you say that." Mrs. Smith drew Anna in for another hug that only released when a knock came at the door. She kissed Anna on the forehead before walking toward where the footman allowed the visitor inside. Both Anna and her mother stood in shock for a moment but her mother spoke first. "James, what an unexpected surprise."

"But not an undesirable one, I hope." His fingers worked around the brim of his hat before he met Anna's eyes. The visible drop of his shoulders timed perfectly with his sigh. "You're alive."

"I am." Anna inspected herself, "Despite attempts to the contrary."

"And well, I hope."

"Well enough and as well as could be expected." Anna tugged at her fingers before closing the distance between them to take James in a hug. He returned it, squeezing tightly before separating them, and then nodded at her.

"Did you just get back?"

"Near enough but not so soon you're invading anything." Anna motioned toward the library, "Do you want tea? I could use some and I've a feeling you and I have some things we need to discuss."

"That's why I'm here." He waved a hand in the air, "Not for the tea but to discuss some things with you."

"I understood." Anna gestured toward the library, "This way then?"

"After you." James moved to follow Anna into the library but she paused, turning to her mother to speak.

Mrs. Smith waved her on. "I'll get the tea. You go and sit down."

"Thank you." Anna followed James into the library and they took their seats on the sofas. It was a moment or two before either one of them spoke and Anna took the initiative at the sight of James crunching the brim of his hat. "I do hope you're not feeling guilty about anything."

"Funny that you're the one to say that to me." James shifted on his sofa cushion. "After all we've been through and I'm nervous to tell you about the nurse I swooned and fell for at hospital."

"If you're asking me for an apology for almost getting you shot, for… not being as true to you as I should've been during our engagement, and then ruining every public appearance we had until you were shot then…" Anna sighed, "I owe you a great deal more than an apology can cover."

"I'd never ask for one, even after all that."

"No?"

James shook his head. "What's there to apologize for when it was arguably the most action my life'd seen to that point."

Anna smiled at him, reaching out to take his hand. "I always thought myself lucky that we matched the way we did."

"As friends?"

"It could've been a rather dull affair with photographs that actually came out, parties we endured, and then a marriage with a relative stranger with no humor." Anna let out a breath, "That was what I'd steeled myself for."

"Me as well." They laughed and James released Anna's hand to adjust his position on the sofa again. "But with Ivy… I've found something I don't think we ever had. For all the laughter and secrets and friendship, we never truly loved one another with the kind of passion you need in a marriage. The kind of passion that keeps a marriage going. We just… We never had it."

"I know." Anna met James's eyes. "But you feel it with Ivy?"

"We'll have conversations that last hours and then… I don't know. It's different than when we had the same conversations."

"How so?

"It's like… It's like fire. A fire that's always between us with the only change being the energy behind it. Sometimes it's small and comforting and other times it's a roaring inferno. But it's always there. And I… I want to spend the rest of my life keeping that fire going between us." James let out a little laugh. "Is that terribly naïve of me to hope?"

"I think it's beautiful." Anna sat back in her seat, to observe James. "And I wish we'd had something like that."

"I always loved talking to you."

"As did I." Anna leaned forward enough to pat her hand over James's knee. "When you're married and a bit settled, I'm having you both over for tea so we can all talk together."

"Really?

"I insist on it." Anna smiled at him, "I want to speak with the woman who's so thoroughly captured your imagination it's lit a fire in you."

"Then you're not horribly put off that I've thrown you over and ruined our engagement and…" James paused, "Sorry, I was trying to remember all the accusations my father threw at me at hospital."

"I'm none of those things." Anna shook her head, "He was always the one reservation I had about marrying you."

"I don't blame you." James's fingers took to crunching the brim of his hat again. "It's the reservation I have about marrying Ivy. She'll be related, by law, to my father. And after he sacked me at the bank…"

"You're unemployed?"

"No. Well yes, I was, but not anymore." James shook his head, "One of his competitors took me on immediately."

"Lucky you."

"Very." James shrugged, "It's good for me, to get out from under him. And I'm good at my job. Even better now that he's not breathing down my neck so I enjoy my work more."

"That's lovely James."

He snorted a laugh, "Could you imagine the life we would've had together? The kind over overbearing grief we'd suffer every time we had to celebrate a holiday with him?"

"Please don't make me envision that kind of nightmare." Anna went to smile to stopped at the sight of James's face. "What is it?"

"What happened to you, on the island this time, was it… Was it like the nightmares you told me you used to have about what happened to you?"

"No, it wasn't as bad as last time. And it's over now so there's nothing hanging over my head any longer." Anna let a little smile come over her, more for herself than James. "I found myself there this time. For the first time in a very long time I'm whole James. Whole and healthy and ready to greet whatever changes I have before me now."

"Anything in particular?"

"Mr. Gregson would like me to write up my adventures for children in an age-appropriate fashion. They'll be the first ones I get to write under my name… Or any name really. His first requests for my work."

"He wants you to write up what happened to you?"

"Heavily edited, obviously, but yes."

"And that'll take up all of your time?"

Anna nodded. "Between that and helping Mr. Talbot as he resettles all those they saved I imagine I'll keep quite busy."

"Is that what you want?"

"I don't know what I want yet. But…" Anna paused, sucking the inside of her cheek as she formed the words she needed. "Helping them… Come to terms with what happened and maybe get them back home if they've got one to return to is a good use of my time. And maybe we'll all heal better together than alone."

"That's very noble of you." James sighed, "I… Part of me wishes things had been different between us, Anna. That maybe we'd loved each other more."

"I think it would've befitted us to love in a different way, if that were possible, but we were honestly doomed in this from the very start." Anna stood, James following her example. She took his hand and looked into his eyes. "But I'm genuinely very happy for you and I want you to be happy. With Ivy and your new job and whatever else comes your way. I truly wish you the very best James. Always."

James leaned forward and they kissed one another on opposite cheeks before releasing their hands. "I wish the same for you Anna. And that we'll remain friends, no matter what happens to us."

"I could hardly forget you." Anna smiled at him, "And I think we'll remain close. You don't endure what we have together without being bonded for life."

"Like you and John?"

Anna nodded, "It's one of the reasons John and I are so close."

"You love him?" Anna nodded and James sighed. "Like you never loved me."

"Part of the reason why I don't feel slighted about you canceling the engagement." Anna sighed, "It gave me a lift really, to know you'd found someone who made you happy the way I couldn't."

"It still wasn't exactly gentlemanly of me."

"It wasn't ladylike of me to have an affair behind your back during our engagement." Anna took James's hand. "But I've never claimed to be a lady. It's no excuse for my behavior but I'll never claim what isn't mine."

"Then I'll tell you that I don't claim to be a gentleman either but I promise that I'll treat Ivy as well as any gentleman can."

"That's all I can hope for." Anna led James to the door. "And remember, there are no hard feelings from me toward you. I hope the same in return."

"I hold nothing against you Anna." James massaged his chest, "This got me to admit the truth to myself and find the woman I love. How could I possibly hold it against you when I just want to thank you for it?"

"You can't since I wouldn't wish a repeat of anything that's transpired to get us here." Anna kissed his cheek again. "Be well James."

"Take care Anna."

The front door closed just as the door to Anna's father's study opened. John edged out of it and then shut the door behind him before leaning on the wall to let out a deep breath. Approaching cautiously, Anna put a hand on his arm. He covered it with one of his own and smiled at her.

"Not as horrible as I imagined."

"No?"

"No, far fewer awkward questions and more support than I envisioned."

"Would you want to tell me about it?"

"Of course."

"Well then," Anna pointed toward the library as one of the maids entered it. "We've never had tea together before and I'd like to finally do something with you that reeks of normalcy, if I can."

"I'd like that very much."

They sat at the table and Anna smiled at the maid before waving her away to leave them alone in the room. Anna took over setting the tea service and served John his cup before taking one for herself. As they both readied to drink, she could not hold back a snort as John stuck his little finger out to drink.

He paused, "What?"

"Is that what they taught you in all the classes I missed on the island?"

"It's what my mother insisted the upper classes did when they drank tea." John kept his finger pointed out and sipped at his tea. "And she'd turn in her grave if she thought I wasn't on my best behavior."

"I can't imagine she'd be too impressed by the way we've behaved together." Anna shrugged, "Not very upper class of us."

"She wouldn't have much room for judgment there." John winked at Anna, "I was two months earlier than my parents' nine-month mark if you must know."

"I didn't ask." Anna set her tea to the side. "But it's nice to know that about you. To have a conversation that's not… Weighted by more serious concerns."

"Who said this conversation wasn't weighted?" John set his tea to the side and took Anna's hand. "The talk with your father in his study, it wasn't just about me helping rescue you."

"I didn't think so." Anna tensed, "Did he warn you away? Say something about my reputation and demand that you keep it in mind before asking you to leave my life forever?"

"You've a very narrow view of your father."

"I know the pressure he was under when I was engaged to James and now that he's no longer an option I'd hazard he wants me to-" Anna stopped speaking as John moved to one knee in front of her. "Oh goodness."

"I do hope that's an exclamation in good humor and not because you're terrified that I even considered proposing to you."

"I'm…" Anna swallowed, "I never saw this happening."

"You didn't believe that I love you?" John frowned, "That I'd want to marry you? That I'd want to spend my life with you?"

"I believe those things with all my heart." Anna kissed the back of John's hand. "I just… I don't know. I guess in all the struggle and mess of it all I never thought I'd actually get married."

"Your former fiancé was almost killed no less than three times."

"Then you'd appreciate my reticence, yes?"

"Of course." John smiled up at her, "But could I actually ask you before I lose the chance to propose because something horrible and unpredictable happens to drive us apart like another assassination attempt?"

"In a long line of them."

"Exactly." John let his fingers play over her palms before he resettled his grip. "And because I worry you'll answer me before I can make this as romantic as I always dreamed it'd be."

Anna's breath caught, "You've dreamed of this?"

"Every night since you left." John was quiet a moment, his gaze occupied by her hands. "It was what kept me going while you were away."

Anna slid off her chair, kneeling on the floor with John. "Then please ask me before I'm tempted to just say yes."

John put his other hand over Anna's and looked in her eyes. "Anna Smith, will you marry me?"

"With all my heart yes." Anna leaned forward and kissed him as they knelt on the floor of the library.

It was not a passionate kiss like the one she forced on him in the closet at the dance a lifetime ago. Or the ones they exchanged in the dark and shadows as they dealt with their demons. It was calm and sweet and romantic and perfect in all the ways Anna could not find words to properly describe.

They pulled away and Anna put her hand to John's cheek, stroking her fingers slowly over his skin there. "What now?"

"Whatever you want." John grinned and kissed her again, quickly this time. "You're the bride and I've heard that they're not to be interrupted in their plans."

"I've none except marrying you as soon as possible." Anna squeezed his hands, "So nothing interrupts us the way it interrupted James and I."

"Perhaps it was my prayers to God that I could have you for myself."

"Or my prayers to be happy." They both paused and Anna nodded. "You make me so happy John. In a way… A way no one else has and I don't think anyone else ever can. A way I can't describe because it's written on my bones."

"Mine too." John urged them to stand and teethed at his lip. "Would it be inappropriate if I asked to whisk you away to a Registrar's today?"

"Possibly." Anna smoothed her fingers over his face before letting them fall to his hands so she could lift them to kiss. "But there might be time at the end of the week. It'd give Gwen some time to find a dress she'd be proud to have me wear."

"You could wear what you're wearing now and I'd still think there was no more beautiful woman on the face of the earth than you."

"Charmer."

"Only to you." John dipped for another kiss, drawing this one out before leaving Anna wanting more. When she went to complain he put a finger over her lips. "There'll be time enough for that now. We're going to be married."

"Yes we are." Anna smiled, a lift on her soul unlike any source of happiness ever to expand her before. "We're getting married John."

The details of the engagement were simple and private. A entry in the paper Gregson operated appeared next to the first of a series of stories Anna published. It simply said that Ms. Anna Smith, recently recovered from a spectacular adventure herself, was marrying a Mr. John Bates. Included next to it, to the frustration and the ire of Mr. Kent, was an announcement of the same sort about James Kent marrying an Ivy Stuart. Neither was met with more than an interested sigh from the readership of the paper and passed by into obscurity.

Or almost did.

Due to Anna's 'meddling', in the words of Mr. Kent, Mr. Smith lost his job at the bank. For a terrifying moment Anna felt the emotions she associated with the personality Green had dubbed Mrs. Cotton. The same emotions that planned exactly how to approach the man as he made for the front doors of their house. How to either wrap her elbow around his throat and twist to break his neck or just use her hands to perform the same action.

But her father's hand settled over hers and he attempted to soothe her. It pushed that side of her away and Anna settled. Or most of her emotions settled enough to allow for happiness when James came to the door and immediately offered Mr. Smith a position at his new bank. One Mr. Smith gratefully accepted before encouraging Anna to accept the second offer of sharing the rented space with James and Ivy for their wedding.

With the venue provided for them, Gwen quick hands and her beau's skill embellishing a white dress for Anna to wear, and food catered by Talbot as a form of gratitude for all the work Anna and John put into the operation, it almost seemed as if the only moment of excitement before the wedding was Mr. Kent's anger. It almost seemed, as John kissed Anna before leaving her house to 'not see the bride before the wedding', that they might fade into the same obscurity their wedding announcement had. That they would live the average, normal, boring lives to which they were destined but had not yet managed to find for themselves.

But it was not to be.

The morning of her wedding Anna found her second story published in the margin of a larger exposé on the operation. Another paper her father perused published a matching column from a Mr. Bricker defaming Talbot and giving the history of the mess from Talbot's father all the way to the distinguished Dr. Seward. And yet another paper, this one wrestled by the footman away from the postman who insisted on an autograph, described the rumor that one of the 'escapees' now lived in the house of Dr. Seward in what they obliquely hinted was a 'degenerate relationship' built on murder and sin.

It only elicited a sigh of annoyance from Anna but brought a gaggle of reporters and journalists to her door as she and her father descended the steps to the rented motor. They all shouted questions at Anna and she staunchly ignored them, as she had not always managed to do as a child. A tiny smile graced her lips as she settled in the car and they pushed through the clutch of people still calling out their questions and inquiries.

"What is it?" Anna blinked and turned to her father. He pointed at her mouth, "You're smiling."

"Shouldn't I? It's my wedding day."

"But all these people…" He gestured toward the windows before the motor managed to escape the reporters and wove through the traffic. "All those things the papers reported on you. Doesn't it bother you?"

"It did ten years ago but now…" Anna shook her head. "I'm a different person now. They don't trouble me."

"How will this affect everything else?"

"I don't know." Anna almost laughed, "But I guess we'll find out."

Her father's confusion only masked itself as they arrived at the church. A Catholic one, John's only insistence in the planning, that sported a host of nuns ready to beat the reporters off as they threatened to invade the wedding. Anna paid them no mind as she took her father's hand and entered the church to see John standing proudly at the end of the aisle in a suit with a sash of tartan over a shoulder. It was the only thing that gave Anna any pause.

"My mother was a Keith." John whispered when they took hands and knelt at the altar. "I almost wore a kilt."

"My mother will be grateful you didn't." Anna whispered back and took the sacrament before listening to the vows in Latin.

Throughout the ceremony, John's hand never left hers. The only hint of abandonment was to get the ring he slid over her finger before kissing her hand. They both shared a smile at the Bishop's almost imperceptible huff of disapproval before he continued the ceremony and then allowed them to kiss as man and wife.

They took the motor to the venue where they greeted James and Ivy, Anna exchanging the only greetings as the only one in their quartet to never meet the other bride, and settled into the festivities. With the odd combination of guests the confusion led to awkward moments but the couples hardly cared. Through dancing, at least one journalist who snuck into the wedding, eating, and a few odd comments they finally dismissed themselves to the motor and drove to the hotel Talbot graciously booked for them under a new name.

Anna laughed as John signed as 'Mr. Cotton' and they took the key to their room. One with a bed almost twice the size of the one Anna owned and an en suite to give them privacy from the rest of the guests. Talbot even provided a note about the room service and the luggage left in the corner for them.

"He's so thoughtful."

"He's still a bit guilty." Anna turned about the room before facing John. "I think he's still hoping to rectify the past."

"Even if it's not his fault?" John took Anna's hands and his thumb brushed over her ring so she attempted to do the same. "Given the good work he's already doing with the survivors, and tracking down the others, I think he's more than paid the debt that's not his."

"But he doesn't think so." Anna sighed, "I just wonder how Dr. Seward handled the reporters on her doorstep this morning."

"With a loaded gun and a firm kick in the pants I'd guess."

Anna laughed with John, her fingers escaping his hands to brush at his hair. "Do you know what happened to Edna?"

"From the work I've done with Mr. Talbot he's already recruited her to help him. I think they've found a place for her since Dr. Seward succeeded in helping her reset her mind." John drew Anna closer to him. "Not like quite like you did but in her own way."

"I wish her the best then." Anna let her hands settle on John's chest. "I feel like we're supposed to start something now but I don't know how."

"What do you mean?"

"Every other time it's been…" Anna sighed, her fingers flexing over John's white shirt. "In the dark or we've been convinced it was the last time. And now…"

"Now we're together forever." John's hands covered hers and Anna met his eyes as his ring slid over her skin. "And you're not sure where to begin."

"I've no idea how you start something like this."

"That part is very easy." John leaned down to leave only a whisper between their lips. "You start by kissing me and then we let ourselves take it the rest of the way. Like always."

Anna closed the distance and smiled against John's grin. They maneuvered back toward the bed, loosening and losing what clothing they could before they reached it as if afraid that any interruption might cost them the momentum they built slowly. Instead it only heightened the pleasure between them.

When John opened Anna's dress he kissed over the skin of her back and left her bent over the bed trying to hold herself up on shaking arms while he eased his fingers between her legs. Legs that trembled and quivered until John aided Anna's climax with the press of his thumb. Legs John left bare as he finished divesting Anna of her clothing.

But Anna used the spare second she had to round on John, pressing him back onto the bed so she could taunt him in the same way. Leave him writhing beneath her with each patch of skin she kissed or sucked until he stretched before her equally nude. A sight that almost had her surrendering her goal to bring them together but Anna teased John first with kisses and her hands wrapping and squeezing his arousal until John almost sobbed for mercy.

Their hands met, pulling at one another until they settled together. John's back against the headboard left Anna's arms free to wrap his shoulders and hold them close as she slid down his erection to bring them together. A position they held, nerves and bodies rippling in the patience of the aftermath, as Anna leaned forward to whisper in John's ear.

"Together forever."

"For good and proper." He whispered back and they moved.

A slow, rolling of their hips that reminded Anna of the boat they shared last. The boat that took them both to the horrible place where they met. And then whisked them away again.

John's hands smoothed over Anna's back, catching and tripping over the scars there but bending forward to brush his lips over any that dotted her shoulders or collarbones. Anna let her fingers rake through John's hair, upsetting the careful product applied to keep it from shifting, and pressed her hand against his chest when John bent low enough to suck at her breasts. Her nails curled against his skin when his fingers massaged against her swollen clit and triggered her vaginal walls to clench around him, clinging harder when their gyrating hips surrendered to a thrusting motion that almost bounced them on the bed.

She pulled his chin from her chest and wrapped her arms tighter around them, bringing them closer until there was no room between them. Then, as they ground together and listened to the gasps and moans of their other, Anna came. Her cries of completion were almost drown out by John's desire to kiss her as he came but their grunting heaves for air forced them apart again.

They settled, wrapping around one another as much as their cooling bodies would allow, and just breathed. Anna's fingers uncurled to run over John's chest and she laughed a little to herself. A noise that had john shifting to better look at her and ask, with only a raised eyebrow, to explain herself.

"We've only done this three times now."

"We've done it a great deal more than that." John's hand raised as if he could count on his fingers but Anna caught it, kissing his palm.

"I meant," Her other hand shoved at him before John wrapped her in a hug to bring her closer to him. "We've only had the chance to stay together afterward three times." Every other it's been…"

"Away before day?" Anna nodded against John's chest and then smiled into his skin when he kissed her head. "I like it better this way."

"As do I." Anna lifted herself away enough to put their heads equal on the pillows. "What do we do now?"

"Enjoy this room for the three days we have it and then hope the world's not waiting for us outside when we're through."

"Simple as that?"

"Simple as that." John lifted himself up and then groaned as he pushed off the bed. "Then we'll just have to navigate the world like everyone else."

Anna gave a little laugh, pushing herself up as well to better enjoy the view of her husband, and slid off the bed as he vanished into the en suite. Gathering their clothes off the floor, she clicked her teeth at the inevitable wrinkles their excitement would cause as she hung them in the wardrobe. John's suit and her dress hung beautifully next to one another and Anna let her fingers play over the materials until it caught on the tartan sash.

Pulling it from the jacket John wore, Anna noticed the complicated folds and tucks gave the illusion of a sash no larger than a winter scarf when it stretched long enough to wrap her body. A thought Anna could not put away as she heard John finishing in the en suite. Before the door could open, she wrapped it around herself and moved back to the bed to take the position John formerly occupied.

His eyes were on her the moment he emerged and Anna shivered at the dilation to his pupils. When her eyes moved a bit lower she bit her lip at the other reaction her appearance invoked. One almost as pointed as the finger John raised to wag at her.

"It's not sporting to be wearing a man's colors and naught else."

"It is if you're planning on sporting." Anna let her legs open slightly and leaned back into the pillows so the tartan rode up enough to leave a hint of her open to his gaze. "If you're ready, that is. Otherwise I can-"

No creature in the history of Anna's existence moved as quickly as John did then. His lips were on her and his tongue between her legs before she could even consider how she might finish her sentence. All she could do was fight the tartan to free her arms enough to dig her nails into John's shoulder and scalp as he left her crying out when he finished her with his tongue. But the sight of her in his colors allowed Anna no quarter as John went in for another orgasm to leave Anna boneless on the mattress as he rose above her.

Their lips met in the frenzy Anna started and their hands scrambled to find purchase on the skin of their spouse. Anna's arms caught in the tartan and she draped it over John's back, keeping it there as she found a spot to hold at his sides and ass. John's hands and lips settled on her breasts and torso before seizing her lips at the moment he entered her again. The moment when their pace slowed.

They arched and moved against one another, bound by the tartan holding them in place and tangling them closer together, but found the rhythm they needed. One that echoed in the dull slap of skin that only drew out the slicker sounds when John slid to the very edge of her before driving back to the depths. Anna left marks to match the ones already scoring John's back as her legs opened wider to accept him deeper into her. A depth that only increased their frenetic pace until John thrust wildly to bring Anna to another climax.

He followed shortly after and they struggled against their flagging energy to wrest themselves free of the strangle of the tartan. But once it no longer wrapped them in mummy-like binds, Anna draped it over them as she settled next to John. They breathed together until their hearts beat in time with the ticking of the clock in the corner.

"Will it really be simple as all that?" Anna finally whispered, not sure if John was still awake beside her.

"Of course it will." His lips brushed over her forehead. "We're together and we're going to be happy. That's all that matters."

"Bad harvest, bad harvest." Anna muttered and only lifted her head when John's laugh rumbled in his chest. "What?"

"What yourself. What does that mean?"

"Where I grew up," Anna slid up the bed, putting herself above John so her fingers could play in his hair. "There were legends that the gods used to look down on mere mortals and see them as enemies. So to ward them off curses or the like when times were good, the farmers would shout 'bad harvest' to keep evil away from them and theirs."

"Shout it?"

"Yes."

John nodded and then opened his mouth, "Bad-"

Anna covered his lips, shushing him as if she could take back the volume of his call that now echoed around their room. "What are you doing?"

"I'm," John pried her hand back from his mouth before kissing her palm. "Keeping evil away."

"Not that loudly you're not." Anna swatted at him. "What if our neighbors hear you? What then?"

"I'm sure they already heard you." John leaned forward, his position giving him the optimal view of her breasts, and pressed a kiss between them. "And they're about to hear you even louder than before."

"Bad harvest." Anna giggled and allowed John to roll her under him again.


	22. Epilogue: Stories for Our Children

We left England.

Scandal will do that to you: force you out and away. It creeps into the quiet moments and destroys the little peace you have. It takes everything from you until you wonder if you're no more than the façade everyone else has built of you in their minds. If you're nothing but the person they believe you to be.

But, as we all knew, there was nothing left for me there. Nothing to gain from them for me. For us. Nothing left for us there.

So we left. Made the arrangements for John to take employment in the California logging industry through a connection at James's new bank and for me to write long-distance correspondence for Mr. Gregson. Then it was only a matter of finding the boat to get us there. The boat to take us to America. To the 'New World'.

And what a new world it would be for us. Especially when we realized my sickness was not because I could not bear the boat but because we carried a stowaway with us. One we gave a thousand names and none at all in the quiet of our cabin as our fingers stroked the barely perceptible bulge of my abdomen.

The miracle was that I could have a child at all. But there was a rather brilliant doctor in America who ensured we could. And soon, after settling temporarily in New York for the birth of our baby, we welcomed our child. Our little, perfect, beautiful Johnny Bates.

His father always complains that I should've given another name to our child but given the risks if we tried to have another, I didn't want to lose the chance. I wanted to forever keep in memory the name of the man I love. For one day he will die and leave me behind and all I'll have is the memory of him.

But here, in the wilds of the west, we still have one another. It is a quiet life away from the hustle and the bustle and the commotion we unintentionally caused back home. Away from the stories of me that followed my entire life until I chose to leave them behind. Away from those memories that I can now recall without fear but don't really feel like mine anymore. I'm not that person and I don't know if I know her anymore.

All that matters is that my family will never know her either. The person I became on that island and afterward is gone. A part of me still, in the depths of my mind building her own dwelling where she can finally rest, but not me anymore. Not even in the stories I still sell to Mr. Gregson's paper. She's a myth and a legend all her own and no longer mine.

It is a funny thing, when you consider where I was once. Jumping at shadows and refusing to sleep in the dark. Frightened of all of it.

Now I sleep peacefully beside the man who loved me then and until now. The man who'll love me forever. The man I love forever.

I sleep peacefully just down the hall from the rooms of our children. Only one of them has my blonde hair and his father's eyes but they're all ours. The others, orphans and lost boys, belong with us. Belong with those who were once lost too. Those we couldn't refuse for that would be to refuse ourselves.

I once thought myself a fool for daring to feel safe. Now I wonder what a fool I was for thinking I could never be happy. My ghosts are gone now and I am happy.


End file.
